Mother and daughter using a ladder to pick cherriesUnderstanding human motivation has been one of the goals of psychology founding fathers and current theorists to date. Motivation is often at the core of studying psychological processes in humans and understanding why we do the things we do.

Motivation is defined as “the process of arousing, directing, and maintaining behavior toward a goal” (Greenberg, 2002). Although this definition seems simple, human motivation is often more complex. In light of the current crisis situation we all find ourselves in amid the COVID-19 pandemic, how can one understand their own motivations and the motivations of others?

One way to understand this is to apply a classic theory of human motivation: Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. The basic premise of the theory is that “people will not be happy or well-adjusted unless they have their needs met” (Greenberg, 2002). Not only are humans motivated by meeting their needs, but their needs are ordered in such a way that if basic needs aren’t met first, then humans will not have the motivation to meet needs that aren’t considered basic. Basic needs are described as lower-order needs, while needs beyond basic are described as higher-order needs.

Motivation and the Five Stages of Needs

In order to understand these hierarchical needs in light of the COVID-19 pandemic, let’s look at each need individually.

1. Physiological needs

The lowest order needs involve satisfying biological needs such as water, shelter, and food. Not only does this level of need require meeting basic needs, but it also requires that one’s body is healthy. A healthy body is also achieved through the proper amount of sleep, exercise, and appropriate balance of healthy foods, free of toxic substances.

2. Safety needs

Once one’s basic needs are met, Maslow believed that the next level of needs are triggered in an individual. The need for safety includes functioning in an environment that is physically and psychologically safe. In addition, the environment must be free of harm or perceived harm.

3. Social needs

These needs are activated once the first two needs are met. According to Maslow’s theory, if the first two needs are not met, then the person will not be activated to achieve higher order needs such as social needs. This need involves feeling loved by others and belonging to a social group. As social beings, humans have the need to connect with others.

4. Esteem needs

Once one feels accepted by their peers, the next higher-order need can be activated. The esteem need is characterized by feeling successful and having others recognize one’s accomplishments.

5. Self-actualization needs

The highest-order need for humans, once all of the above needs are met, is self-actualization. This need involves pursuing one’s maximum level of creativity and becoming all that one is intended to be.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and the COVID-19 Pandemic

1. Physiological needs during COVID-19

The current state of our world right now has caused many people to be motivated by more basic needs than they were before this pandemic. Due to the fact that many people’s employment situations have changed, meeting basic needs might now be more of a priority than it was before.

In addition, now that many people are on stay-at-home orders, the option of going to the gym or other things that one typically does to stay physiologically healthy might not be available at this time. Finding creative ways to keep yourself healthy might be all that you can focus on right now, and that is okay.

Do

Try to meet your basic needs first.

Don’t

Engage in activities that are unhealthy for the body and the mind.

2. Safety needs during COVID-19

If you are fortunate enough to not have to worry about meeting your basic physiological needs during this crisis, you are now motivated to achieve safety. For some, depending on the area you live in and the rate of infection, staying safe and keeping your family safe is your main motivation right now, and that makes the most sense. In addition, if you are an essential worker or married to an essential worker or medical professional, you will most likely be striving to meet this safety need throughout the crisis.

Do

Educate yourself about the facts about the rate of infection in your area.

Don’t

Put pressure on yourself to achieve higher order needs.

3. Social needs during COVID-19

Perhaps you are fortunate enough to have your basic needs met. Given your current profession and financial situation, this crisis has not greatly affected your basic needs or your safety needs. You most likely live in an area that is not dense in population or rate of infection.

Based on this, you can now focus on having your social needs met. During the current social distancing orders, it might be hard to achieve this goal. If you are at home with a loving family, these needs are met by them. If you are in a home with others, but the environment is not connected, then this time may be particularly challenging for you.

Do

Attempt to connect with others in your home daily through family activities. Attempt to connect with others outside of your home through virtual means such as FaceTime, group chats, and positive social media outlets.

Don’t

Ignore the attempts for connection from healthy members of your family.

Don’t

Assume that passive involvement in social media is satisfying social needs.

4. Esteem needs during COVID-19

If you are fortunate enough to have your basic, safety, and social needs met during this time of crisis, your next motivation on the order of needs (according to Maslow) is the need to achieve success and have others recognize your achievements. During this time, these types of needs might not be able to be met because many members of our culture are focused on meeting more basic needs. If you are currently working, you might be having these needs met by supervisors or peers. If you are in a loving home, perhaps your family members are encouraging you in your efforts at quarantine.

Do

Encourage family members and other peers in their current efforts at surviving this pandemic.

Do

Consider giving back to others who are struggling to meet basic needs. Altruism or the act of giving back to others in need was associated with “better life adjustment, better marital adjustment, and less hopelessness and depression” (Southwick & Charney, 2018). This might be a way to meet your esteem needs while also giving back to others who are working hard on the front lines of this pandemic.

Don’t

Meet your esteem needs through others’ achievements, especially your children. According to Maslow, a human can only meet these high order needs through their own accomplishments. Basing your happiness on how your children are doing puts too much pressure on them, especially during a time of such uncertainty.

5. Self-actualization needs during COVID-19

According to Maslow, this need occurs when all other needs are met sufficiently. In the light of the current crisis that most of the nation is facing right now, the majority of people are not able to focus on these higher-order needs.

Do

Be creative about how you can give back to and help others who are struggling.

Don’t

Assume that all others are able to focus on their creativity at this time.

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is one theory in many theories of human motivation. Some critics have questioned his theory, and like any theory in psychology, there are other competing theories of motivation. If you are interested in this topic, you can also check out this article.

If you are finding yourself struggling to cope during this time, consider finding a therapist in your area or online.

References:

  1. Greenberg, J. (2002). Managing behavior in organizations. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall
  2. Southwick, S. M., & Charney, D. S. (2012). Resilience: The science of mastering life’s greatest challenges. New York, NY: Cambridge University Press.

Parent sits at table and hugs two happy toddlers sitting on table in tidy kitchenI am a therapist. But I am also a mother of three young children. And as I navigate the challenging yet rewarding years of parenthood, I am thankful for my psychology background and training.

It takes a lot of strength to raise a household of young children. It may take even more strength to do so while remaining positive, affirming our children, and communicating in a loving manner. Understanding children from a developmental lens can help immensely.

Erikson’s Stages of Development

One thing I continue to rely on is Erik Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development. This tool has been extremely helpful as my children progress through the toddler years. One of them is three years old, or, as some of my fellow parents put it, a “threenager.”

Erikson terms this stage of development as autonomy vs. shame and doubt. During this phase, a toddler’s developmental task is to become independent from their parents. As they seek to understand their identity, toddlers make their needs and desires clear. It can often feel like every choice they make is a new battle. My “threenager” has opinions about her clothes, her shoes, and the way she wants to wear her hair. I think I am helping her out by doing small things for her. But I am often met with resistance and the response, “No, Mommy, I want to do it myself.” [fat_widget_right]

Erikson held that when these attempts to express themselves are met with encouragement, toddlers will develop a sense of autonomy and independence. If these attempts are met with resistance or punishment, on the other hand, the toddler will develop a sense of shame and doubt and carry it into adulthood. (The term “threenager” is fitting because this stage closely resembles the teenage years, where the developmental task also involves creating an identity separate from a teenager’s parents.)

The Developing Brain

It has also been helpful for me to understand not only what developmental changes are happening, but also what is going on in terms of brain development.

The ability to integrate right-brain emotional experiences with left-brain logic and understanding is key to a healthy brain. How can we help our young children begin this process? 

According to Siegel and Bryson, parents must learn to understand how their child’s brain works. This knowledge is useful because it can help us parent more effectively. One of the most important concepts to understand is left to right brain integration. Siegel and Bryson explain that a healthy brain is an “integrated brain.” This means the healthy brain uses left and right brain hemispheres to understand, make meaning, and organize experiences. The integration process takes a lifetime to perfect. But we can help our children begin this process early in life.

We first need to understand the difference between the left and right hemispheres of the brain.

The left hemisphere of the brain:

The right hemisphere of the brain:

The ability to integrate right-brain emotional experiences with left-brain logic and understanding is key to a healthy brain. How can we help our young children begin this process?

Consider a toddler who has become overwhelmed by emotions. Toddlers can easily become emotionally flooded.  When emotions overwhelm them, they might throw a tantrum, yell, or cry uncontrollably. This happens because their brains are right-brain dominant. In other words, they are not driven by logic, responsibilities, and time. This makes sense from a development perspective. The left-brain hemispheres do not start to kick in until a child is around four years old.

So how can we effectively handle this situation? First, we need to remember not to dismiss or deny their feelings. Avoid saying things like:

Instead, acknowledge what your child might be feeling. Help them tell a story about what happened. You might say something like, “Wow, that looked like it hurt. You were running, and then you fell and scraped your knee.”

Some time later, when you are connecting with your child and they are not emotionally flooded, help them understand the lesson in the story. You can even do this on a different day. You might say, “Remember when you fell and scraped your knee on the asphalt at school? Maybe you should slow down on the asphalt at school.”

Helpful Tools for Parents of Toddlers

Parenting toddlers may be extremely difficult at times. But there are many tools that can help. A recent study from the Department of Psychology at Arizona State University surveyed over 2000 mothers to help understand factors that contribute to overall well-being. Of those surveyed, 46% had a graduate degree, 37% had a college degree, and the remaining 16% had a high school education.

The mothers were asked about satisfaction with parenting, parenting guilt, and parenting role overload. The survey also assessed for maternal adjustment with questions related to emptiness, fulfillment, life satisfaction, and perceptions of their child.

Some results indicated that three areas were consistently linked with maternal depression:

However, the following four areas of personal support helped provide a buffer against maternal depression:

Even when mothers scored high in the three areas linked to maternal depression, when they also scored high in the buffer areas, they were more likely to score high on parenting satisfaction scale.

How can mothers (or any parent) apply these findings to their own experiences in parenting? The old saying “it takes a village” rings true here. If you are a parent, attempt to create a supportive culture of other parents who:

  1. Are honest about the highs and lows of parenting
  2. Support each other even when they are not “perfect parents”
  3. Provide comfort when you feel overwhelmed with responsibilities

Some aspects of parenting toddlers can be a real challenge. Research supports that. Finding strength and support from other parents who are experiencing the same difficulties (and who are also honest about their struggles) is a key element in parental satisfaction. If you are currently struggling, consider seeking help. A compassionate, qualified counselor can offer support and help you explore strategies for parenting satisfaction and success.

References:

  1. Crain, W. (2005, August 12). Theories of development: Concepts and applications (5th ed.). Upper Saddle River, New Jersey: Prentice Hall
  2. Luther, S. S. & Ciciolla, L. (2015). Who mothers mommy? Factors that contribute to mothers’ well-being. Developmental Psychology, 51(12). 1812-1823.
  3. Siegel, D. J. & Bryson, T. P. (2011). The whole-brain child: 12 revolutionary strategies to nurture your child’s developing mind. New York, NY: Random House, Inc.

Cropped photo of young person blowing a dandelion. Bright sunset background with golden lightIn the bestselling book Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls, Dr. Mary Pipher discusses the negative impact adolescence can have on young women. She observes that before girls hit adolescence, they are free. Relatively unaffected by the demands society places on them due to their gender, especially the pressure to be attractive, they are not afraid to express their true selves.

But in adolescence, the desire for acceptance can result in an endless struggle to look the “right” way, wear the “right” clothes and be accepted by the “right” crowd. These pursuits may increase the risk that girls lose a large part of their true selves. In fact, Pipher argues that these pressures often lead girls to a dramatic realization: they must make a choice between being themselves and being accepted.

Consider the character Ophelia from Shakespere’s Hamlet. She begins the play as a young girl, happy and free, unaware of the demands she will face as a young woman. When Ophelia hits adolescence, she follows the allure of romantic love and falls for Hamlet. Because of her love for him, she lives to please him. At the same time, she still wants to obey her father. When Hamlet refuses her because of her obedience to her father, grief overwhelms her, and she dies by drowning after falling from a tree.

“Something dramatic happens to girls in early adolescence,” Pipher says, comparing the lost selves of girls to the planes and ships that vanish in the Bermuda Triangle. “They crash and burn in a social and developmental Bermuda Triangle,” Pipher goes on to say, pointing to studies that show girls’ IQ scores to drop in adolescence. Their scores in math and science plummet similarly. “They lose their resiliency and optimism and become less curious and inclined to take risks. They lose their assertive, energetic and “tomboyish” personalities and become more deferential, self-critical and depressed. They report great unhappiness with their own bodies” (Pipher, 1994, p. 19). [fat_widget_child_counselor_right]

It’s essential for girls to understand their value should not be based on their sexual appeal. This awareness can help them hold on to their true selves. Pipher points out that it is during adolescence that girls begin to realize the emphasis on female attractiveness, to the point of objectification. “But girls today are much more oppressed. They are coming of age in a more dangerous, sexualized, and media-saturated culture. They face incredible pressures to be beautiful and sophisticated, which in junior high means using chemicals and being sexual. As they navigate a more dangerous world, girls are less protected” (p. 12). Girls who are aware of this emphasis on beauty, who are attempting to navigate these pressures, may no longer feel like a whole person. Instead, they may feel as if they are merely an object that must be pleasing to others. As a result, they may experience depression, anxiety, and general overwhelm.

How Can Parents Help Their Daughters?

“We can strengthen girls so that they will be ready. We can encourage emotional toughness and self-protection. We can support and guide them.” (p. 13).

The pain of losing their true selves is often too much for many teens to handle. To cope with this pain, they may turn to drugs, alcohol, or other addictions. They may self-harm or act out sexually. Teaching adolescents how to turn to positive coping skills instead of negative ones is key.

Parents play a critical role in the lives of their daughters. Pipher suggests that the most successful teens have parents who enforce rules but maintain a loving relationship. In the absence of a loving relationship, there is often rebellion.

Keeping a solid relationship with a teen girl can be challenging for parents, however. At a time when they may need the most help, teens often turn away from their parents and toward their peers. Though many parents might see this behavior as selfish, it is actually an appropriate part of adolescent development.

The pain of losing their true selves is often too much for many teens to handle. To cope with this pain, they may turn to drugs, alcohol, or other addictions. They may self-harm or act out sexually. Teaching adolescents how to turn to positive coping skills instead of negative ones is key.

This can be as simple as encouraging them to:

In addition to teaching adolescent girls how to cope, we must teach them that pain is a part of life. Our ad-saturated culture often socializes girls to believe that pain is abnormal and should be avoided at all costs, Pipher writes. If we are not happy, something must be wrong. But pain is a part of life. Not only does it help build our characters, it can give us the ability to help others in similar situations.

Dealing with mood shifts and distancing can be hard on parents. But understanding this developmental stage can go a long way in maintaining a positive relationship. Also, at this time more than ever, teen girls need other trusted adults in their lives, such as coaches, teachers, youth leaders, or therapists. These people can step in and provide guidance and sound advice to teens who distance themselves from their parents as part of typical development.

“Without some help, the loss of wholeness, self-confidence, and self-direction can last well into adulthood. Many adult clients struggle with the same issues that overwhelmed them as adolescent girls” (p. 25).

The good news is this: adolescence doesn’t last forever. It is a temporary stage that can be handled successfully. In fact, Pipher believes that girls who are able to maintain a sense of wholeness and hold onto their true selves during this time will become healthier and more well-adjusted young adults.

I highly recommend this book to all teen girls and their parents or mentors. If you would like to learn more about therapy for adolescents, or think your daughter needs more help than you can provide, I encourage you to seek support from a trained therapist or counselor. [amazon_affiliate]

Reference:

Pipher, M. (1994). Reviving Ophelia: Saving the selves of adolescent girls. New York, NY: Ballantine Books.

Person with hair tied back holds hand to look as if she is holding the sun that is setting out at seaSome of the founding fathers of psychology, including Sigmund Freud, believed human motivation was based on a person’s need to avoid anxiety. In the last few decades, a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist often saw it as their job to provide interventions or prescribe medications that help reduce anger, anxiety, or sadness (Seligman, 2012). Some would argue parents and teachers have taken on this role as well with their children or students—minimizing negative emotions rather than teaching people how to function well despite these emotions. Some people believe by minimizing negative emotions, one is free to achieve “happiness,” which is what many people believe the goal of life should be.

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Happiness theory, as it was originally defined, measured life satisfaction. The goal of this theory was to increase one’s life satisfaction. The original author of the theory has since redefined his theory to encompass more than life satisfaction, noting that humans are more complex than one singular motivation. Well-being is now the focus of positive psychology.

Building Blocks of Well-Being

According to Seligman (2012), well-being involves five elements:

Each of these elements contains three properties. First, the element contributes to well-being. Second, many people pursue the element for its own sake. Lastly, the element is defined and measured independently of the others (Seligman, 2012, p. 16).

Due to this shift, the goal of positive psychology is no longer the pursuit of happiness. Instead, positive psychology seeks to increase the amount of flourishing in one’s life and the life of the planet. In addition to the above five elements, which are the core features of well-being, scholars at the University of Cambridge identified six additional features associated with well-being (Seligman, 2012). A person must possess three of them to be considered “flourishing.” These include self-esteem, optimism, resilience, vitality, self-determination, and positive relationships.

Steps Toward Wellness

Not only has Seligman (2012) described what encompasses well-being, but he has also studied and provided interventions for people to increase their own well-being. These interventions include:

Focusing on the positive fits in with what scholars know about neuroscience. Due to their ancestral heritage, human brains have a negativity bias. When early humans had to hunt for food, they had to remember negative experiences for the sake of survival. Human brains are hardwired to focus on the negative rather than the positive. Dr. Rick Hansen (2013) indicates that for the positive experiences to be remembered and become neural patterns in the brain, people typically need a ratio of five positive experiences to one negative experience. If someone has a negative experience at work, school, or home, their brain is wired to remember it. To make lasting positive change, they must be able to compare that one negative experience to five positive experiences to override the negativity bias.

This new theory about well-being can give people hope about the future, especially those who have experienced traumatic events.Due to the success of Seligman’s theory of well-being, many organizations are adopting his theory, assessments, and interventions. He has helped implement initiatives such as the Penn Resilience Program, the Strath Haven Positive Psychology Curriculum, the Geelong Grammar School Model for Positive Education, and the U.S. Army’s Comprehensive Soldier Fitness program.

The U.S. Army’s Comprehensive Soldier Fitness program was designed to help soldiers returning from war develop skills to deal with the impact of trauma on their daily lives. Rather than focus on the soldiers’ weaknesses, the program helps soldiers identify their strengths and use them to overcome adversity. This new theory about well-being can give people hope about the future, especially those who have experienced traumatic events.

While anxiety and sadness can be typical responses to trauma, posttraumatic growth can be achieved. A study conducted by Seligman (2012) found people who had experienced adverse events demonstrated more significant strengths than those who had not. Jay (2017) notes that individuals who experience no adversity are less satisfied, less high functioning, and less successful than those who have experienced moderate amounts of adversity.

If you are seeking to recover from trauma or you want help improving your overall well-being, find a therapist.

References:

  1. Jay, M. (2017). Supernormal: The untold story of adversity and resilience. New York, NY: Hachette Book Group, Inc.
  2. Seligman, M. E. P. (2012). Flourish: A visionary new understanding of happiness and well-being. New York, NY: Atria Paperback.
  3. TED. (2013, November 7). Hardwiring happiness: Dr. Rick Hanson at Ted Marin 2013. [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpuDyGgIeh0

Blurred view photo of back of young girl sitting on swingSome of the most powerful work I have seen accomplished in therapy involves a person reclaiming parts of themselves that they have disowned. Splitting off parts of ourselves, specifically parts of our younger selves, is a common issue that people seek to resolve in therapy, even if they are not fully conscious of it.

In fact, many therapy theories and techniques use this concept as a way of addressing concerns. Below are a few ways of describing this concept.

So how do you know if there might be a split-off part of yourself? One way is by recognizing there might be denial about the past in the present. This can look like, as examples, refusing to admit or acknowledge childhood experiences; trivializing behavior or remarks that were hurtful; or attempting to explain away the behavior of others or offer excuses.

The overall goal at the end of this work should be integration. Integration means being able to own all parts of yourself, whether “good” or “bad,” and understand how they make you the person you are today.

This also presents itself in how we describe ourselves when we were younger. For example, a statement such as, “I don’t know who that person was,” or feelings of intense shame about the person you were in the past, can be a sign that you have cut off parts of yourself. Another strong indication of this is if you avoid people, places, or things that might bring up memories from the past.

When you or your therapist has recognized you have cut off a part of yourself, there are many tools you can use to begin recognizing those cut-off parts and work toward healing. Below are some ways to begin identifying and connecting with parts of yourself:

The overall goal at the end of this work should be integration. Integration means being able to own all parts of yourself, whether “good” or “bad,” and understand how they make you the person you are today.

It is important to note that reclaiming split-off parts is difficult work that can take a long time. If you are thinking of attempting this work for yourself, consider enlisting the help of a licensed professional or finding a group therapy setting that can help you through this process.

References:

  1. Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization. (2006). Alcoholic/dysfunctional families. Torrance, CA: Author.
  2. Hamilton, N.G. (1990). Self and others: Object relations theory in practice. New York, NY: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc.
  3. Schwartz, R. (2009). Instructor’s manual for internal family systems therapy. Retrieved from http://www.psychotherapy.net/data/uploads/5113ce91c0a4d.pdf
  4. Shapiro, F. (2012). Getting past your past: Take control of your life with self-help techniques from EMDR therapy. New York, NY: Rodale Books.

Two graduates at graduation ceremony look happy and proud of their workEnvy has been described as a vicious emotion, one of the deadliest of all sins. Have you ever envied someone else’s achievements? What is envy and why do we feel it? Researchers at the University of Cologne in Germany who studied the emotion found that envy is quite a natural response to an envied person’s perceived accomplishments. However, they concluded, envy and pride go hand-in-hand. Not only were the researchers able to show through a series of experiments that envy is a normal response to displays of pride, they discovered evidence that envy can sometimes be productive and may actually motivate a person to achieve more.

According to Jens Lange and Jan Crusius (2015), there are two distinct forms of envy:

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The distinction is in line with an evolutionary perspective of emotions. Envy can be an adaptive response to an environmental change. By achieving or destroying perceived advantages, humans are able to survive, thrive, and overcome obstacles.

Lange and Crusius found that displays of pride can elicit either benign or malicious forms of envy. Pride can be described as a “spontaneously expressed response to victory” (Tracy and Matsumoto, 2008), and is manifested in two distinct forms based on how the successful person attributes their achievement.

In their experiments, Lange and Crusius found that when a perceived competitor was more successful at a task than the subject, malicious envy was experienced when hubristic pride was demonstrated. Alternatively, when a perceived competitor was more successful at a task and displayed authentic pride, benign envy was demonstrated. Interestingly, they also discovered that when the subject experienced pride from a person they liked and the pride was shown in person, feelings of envy were less likely to occur. However, pictures and video displays of pride in instances where the subject did not know the competitor were more likely to elicit feelings of envy, both benign and malicious.

If you find yourself in a constant state of malicious envy, it may be hard to accomplish the goals you set for yourself.

In light of these conclusions, it is tempting to apply them to social media culture. Many studies have indicated people who spend more time on social media have increased rates of depression. In an article by Amit Chowdhry (2016), media researcher Brian A. Primack, MD, PhD said exposure to “highly idealized representations of peers on social media elicits feelings of envy and the distorted belief that others lead happier, more successful lives.”

If you feel displays of pride might be causing you to have feelings of destructive envy, here are some tips that might help:

  1. Limit social media intake to a reasonable amount of time each day.
  2. Hide or cut ties with friends who have a pattern of bragging in a hubristic way.
  3. Use insight and self-understanding when you have feelings of envy.

If you find yourself in a constant state of malicious envy, it may be hard to accomplish the goals you set for yourself. Worse, goals may be clouded by a desire to have what others have, rather than what is best for you. If envy begins to manifest in your life in an unhealthy way, consult a therapist for guidance on how to redirect your thoughts.

References:

  1. Chowdhry, A. (2016, April 30). Research links heavy Facebook and social media usage to depression. Retrieved from https://www.forbes.com/sites/amitchowdhry/2016/04/30/study-links-heavy-facebook-and-social-media-usage-to-depression/#7198bb274b53
  2. Lange, J., & Crusius, J. (2015). The tango of two deadly sins: The social-functional relationship of envy and pride. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 109(3) 453-472.
  3. University of Pittsburgh Schools of the Health Sciences. (2016, March 22). Social media use is associated with depression among U.S. young adults. Retrieved from http://www.upmc.com/media/NewsReleases/2016/Pages/lin-primack-sm-depression.aspx

Senior couple under an umbrella in the rain by a lake.The term antifragile, developed by Nassim Nicholas Taleb, refers to the idea some things actually gain from disorder. The book explores different areas where antifragility can occur, including in businesses, biological systems, and Greek mythology. When exploring how the term fits into psychological well-being, Taleb (2012) defines antifragility as “posttraumatic growth” (p. 691). This begs the question: what if adversity can make a person stronger? This is not a new concept, as the idea of “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” can be found in lyrics of hit songs from the past decade (Clarkson, 2011, and West, 2007).

While solid research on the topic of antifragility is still in the beginning stages, another concept similar to this that has been researched extensively is resilience. Once believed by some scholars to be a “magical” ability, research indicates resilience can be purposefully achieved.

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Resilience is defined as the ability to “bounce back” after adversity. In Resilience, a book by Southwick & Charney (2012), the authors identify 10 research-based factors that give a person a stronger likelihood to overcome a difficult life event. As they point out in their text, some research indicates more than 90% of the human population will experience at least one adverse event in their lifetime. This could include the death of a loved one, a car accident, a debilitating disease, or a natural disaster, to name a few. The 10 resilience factors fall into roughly four categories: beliefs, attitudes, environment, and health. See below for a description of these factors.

Beliefs

Attitudes

Environment

Health

Putting pressure on healing quickly is not beneficial or even feasible; moving at an appropriate pace is crucial to the process.

After studying these factors, it is clear they are not magical abilities but rather can be incorporated into daily living through practice. And as indicated in the research, a person does not have to utilize all of the above factors to produce health outcomes; one factor can increase the chances of bouncing back after a difficult life event. While this seems simple enough, it is important to recognize that when one experiences a difficult event or a series of difficult events, the internal resources in the body become depleted. Because of this, it is often physically and emotionally harder to exercise these healthy resilience factors (Barrett, 2017).

So how can we begin the process of healing after our resources are depleted from a difficult life event? Before beginning practicing the resilience factors above, try the following suggestions from Brown (2012).

Ample time to recover from adversity is critical for success. Putting pressure on healing quickly is not beneficial or even feasible; moving at an appropriate pace is crucial to the process. If you’ve experienced a difficult life event and are having trouble bouncing back, please seek help from a licensed professional.

References:

  1. Barrett, L.F. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. New York, NY: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
  2. Brown, B. (2015). Rising strong: How the ability to reset transforms the way we live, love, parent and lead. New York, NY: Random House Publishing.
  3. Clarkson, K. (2011). Stronger (what doesn’t kill you). On Stronger. New York, NY: RCA Records.
  4. Pinskey, D. (2017, June 26). The Dr. Drew podcast: Dr. Janina Scarlet, Tim Ryan and Wes Chapman. The Dr. Drew Podcast. Podcast retrieved from https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-dr-drew-podcast/id592284993?mt=2&i=389168613
  5. Southwick, S.M., & Charney, D.S. (2012). Resilience: The science of mastering life’s greatest challenges. New York, NY: Cambridge University Press.
  6. Taleb, N.N. (2012). Antifragile: Things that gain from disorder. New York, NY: Random House Publishing.
  7. West, K. (2007). Stronger. On Graduation. New York: NY: Roc-A-Fella Records, LLC.
Important Notice

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