In the United States, there are almost as many pets as there are adult humans. Collectively, Americans keep 60 million dogs, 70 million cats, and a host of other animals as pets. More than half of all families in the U.S. have at least one pet, and many of those families consider their pets to be members of the family. Although the actual science is hard to quantify, most pet owners believe that their animal companion enriches the quality of their lives, which is why it can be so painful when they die.

Losing a beloved animal companion can be a heart-rending experience. Having to make the decision to euthanize a long- and still-cherished pet is arguably even more difficult. People often struggle with overwhelming feelings of grief, loss, and guilt after choosing to put their pets to sleep. These strong feelings that accompany euthanizing a pet come as the result of their roles in our lives and the strong bonds we are capable of developing with animals. In fact, research by Jaroleman indicates that the bond between people and their pets can have a direct impact on physical and mental health.

While losing a pet can affect us in profound ways and may be quite painful, there are several strategies that might be employed to help people cope successfully after putting a pet to sleep.

Prepare for the Grieving Process

Our animal companions provide us with love, support, and loyalty, and they often fulfill an important psychological need. When we are faced with the decision to euthanize our pets, it is the end of an important relationship—for some, one of the most important relationships in their lives. Many pet owners will experience some form of the grief, though each person will grieve differently. Though there are many different models for the grieving process, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross offered these five stages of grief in her book On Death and Dying: [fat_widget_grief_right]

• Denial
• Bargaining
• Anger
• Depression
• Acceptance

The stages may not occur in any fixed order, and the duration and intensity of each stage can vary from person to person.

Do not be surprised if the pain you feel after putting your pet to sleep is deeper and sharper than you initially anticipated, so take the time you need to complete the grieving process. Losing companionship is never easy and it may take some time for you to come to terms with the changes in your family and life.

Seek Out Social Support

When we lose a close relative in death, the world around us tends to help us move through the grieving process. Family and friends may draw closer together for some time, we take time off from work, and people generally offer their support. The loss of a pet, however, is often met with much less sympathy or support. For example, a survey conducted by Quackenbush and Glickman revealed that 45% of pet owners that had lost a pet missed one to three days of work, even though most employers do not consider the loss of a pet to be grounds for bereavement leave.

While our immediate family members and veterinarians are likely able to relate to the pain we feel and offer needed support, some expect us to just “get on with it.” The world around us simply does not understand that our pet was not “just a dog” and that we cannot “just get a new one.”

According to research by Clements, Benasutti, and Carmone, “The loss or death of a pet, and the surrounding traumatic events, can unbalance existing social roles and family relationships, and can result in the disruption of dyadic relationships between the owner and other significant people (spouse, children, and colleagues).”

It is important not to push our friends and family members away, especially during this stressful time, and it may be helpful to open up to them and share our feelings. After all, who better to remind us of the wonderful times we shared together with our now departed pets?

If you don’t feel comfortable talking about how much your pet meant to you with your family and friends, consider making an appointment with a therapist. A therapist can provide healing support and help you understand the grieving process better. With time, he or she can provide tools and coping strategies to help you return to a normal life without your pet.

Anticipate a Change in Routine and Stay Busy with Meaningful Activities

Pet owners develop habits around their pets due to the dependency pets have on their human companions. Their very lives are at stake. Dedicated pet owners often set aside times for feeding, washing, and walking or exercising pets. For some people, their pets might even serve as living, breathing alarm clocks.

Humans are creatures of habit. We like to know what to expect and are comforted by the fact we exert a measure of control over our actions and responsibilities, but losing a pet dramatically alters that sense of routine and predictability. Quackenbush and Glickman’s survey of pet owners that had recently lost a pet found that 93% reported a disruption of their daily routines and 70% of respondents said their social activities diminished.

Considering this, it is easy to understand the emptiness a person might feel as he or she learns how to deal with life after a pet has been euthanized. Each day is now filled with standardized voids and blocks of time with nothing to do and no animal companion to fill them.

To help soothe your grief, fill these time slots with fun and meaningful activities, especially in the company of supportive companions. Play board games, go to the park, or have a dinner party—anything you might enjoy. You might even consider making a donation to an animal-rights charity in the name of your recently deceased pet. Here are a few other suggestions for activities that may help you heal:

• Volunteer your time to a local animal shelter.
• To memorialize your pet, consider making a donation of needed items to a local animal shelter. You can ask family and friends to donate, which might present a good opportunity to talk about your deceased pet with them.
• Learn about therapeutic approaches to coping with grief, loss, and bereavement. Consider reaching out to a therapist to learn more.
• If you are experiencing guilt about euthanizing your pet, write a truthful letter addressed to your deceased animal friend about all the reasons you chose to do it. This may help you work through your guilt by addressing the practical, and perhaps merciful, reasons for your decision.

References:

1. Clements, P. T., Benasutti, K. M., & Carmone, A. (2003). Support for bereaved owners of pets. Perspectives in Psychiatric Care, 39(2), 49-54. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/200756802?accountid=1229
2. Jaroleman, J. (1998). A comparison of the reaction of children and adults: Focusing on pet loss and bereavement. Omega, 37, 133-150.
3. Quackenbush, J. E., & Glickman, L. (1984). Helping people adjust to the death of a pet. Health and Social Work 9(1), 42-48.
4. Sable, P. (1995). Pets, attachment, and well-being across the life cycle. Social Work, 40(3), 334-41. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/215272292?accountid=1229
5. Spencer, S., Decuypere, E., Aerts, S., & De Tavernier, J. (2006). History and ethics of keeping pets: Comparison with farm animals. Journal of Agricultural and Environmental Ethics, 19(1), 17-25. doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s10806-005-4379-8

According to a recent health story from National Public Radio, depression is the catalyst for more than 8 million doctors’ appointments each year. More than half of those appointments are with primary care physicians, which highlights the important role primary care physicians have in the screening, diagnosis, and treatment of depression and other common mental health conditions.

Despite the high number of individuals trying to access some level of mental health treatment through their primary care physicians’ offices, a 2013 brief by the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) estimates 80% of adults experiencing mental health issues never see or are referred to a mental health specialist for treatment. In fact, CMS suggests that only 25% of people with depression or other common mental health issues ever receive effective care.

[fat_widget_right]To address the significant gap that exists between mental and physical health treatments in primary care settings, CMS has pushed for states to adopt a collaborative care model that integrates primary care with case managers and mental health specialists. This approach mirrors the treatment guidelines from the American Psychiatric Association, which advocates for treating major depression, from mild to severe cases with psychotic features, with a combination of pharmacotherapy and psychotherapy.

As a leading online directory of psychotherapists, psychiatrists, and mental health specialists that has helped connect millions of people with a mental health professionals since 2007, GoodTherapy.org recognizes the importance of collaborative care. Below, we outline three powerful reasons for physicians to refer to or collaborate with mental health specialists:

Mental Health Referrals and Collaborative Care Help Provide Better Treatment for Your Patients

The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services estimate that as few as 20% of people who started an antidepressant medication in primary care will show “substantial clinical improvement.” Additionally, CMS states that we know when mental and behavioral health concerns are left untreated, the following occurs:

• A person’s ability to maintain self-care becomes impaired
• Adherence to treatment plans are negatively affected
• Mortality rates increase
• The person’s work productivity can decrease
• Health care costs increase

Despite the high level at which patients enter primary care for depression and other common mental health issues, a recent study published in the journal Health Affairs suggests that primary care practices may not be well equipped to manage depression as a chronic illness. Simply put, reaching out to a mental health professional for collaborative care may allow you to provide better mental and physical health outcomes overall for your patients.

Available Evidence Supports the Efficacy of Collaborative Care for Mental Health Issues

The collaborative care approach has been studied extensively across various primary care settings and populations. In its brief on collaborative care, CMS points to more than 70 randomized controlled trials as its body of evidence for The gaps in mental health treatment exacerbate poor physical health for many and causes some to live with treatable mental health issues, often as a result of stigma. Pursuing better approaches to treating mental health and wellness creates a world of stronger, healthier communities, which benefits us all.the treatment model. The agency found that collaborative health care teams consisting of a primary care provider, support care management staff (such as a psychologist or clinical social worker), and a psychiatric consultant were both more effective at delivering better health care outcomes and more cost-effective overall, regardless of practice size or population being treated. Additionally, several studies highlighted by CMS indicate a collaborative approach to health care may be especially effective at reducing health disparities in ethnic minority groups and low-income populations.

The IMPACT Trial, a program of the University of Washington Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, is one of the largest research projects to have studied depression care. The study followed the outcomes of more than 1,800 adults experiencing depression from more than 18 different primary care facilities over a 2-year period.

According to the findings of the IMPACT Trial, published in 2002 in the Journal of the American Medical Association, people experiencing depression who received collaborative care reported a 50% reduction in symptoms, compared to about 19% who received care from a physician only. Additionally, follow-up research after the conclusion of the IMPACT Trial revealed that patients who received collaborative care experienced more than 100 additional days free of depression symptoms over a 2-year period when compared to those treated solely by a primary care physician.

Reaching Out to Mental Health Partners Makes Physical and Mental Health Care More Cost-Effective

Referring a patient to a mental health specialist or integrating mental health care as part of a collaborative care approach makes financial sense too. The Centers for Medicaid and Medicare Services estimate that health care costs can increase by 50-100% if a patient is experiencing depression. Additionally, patients experiencing major depression and a chronic medical condition, on average, have more than twice the health care costs when compared to people who aren’t experiencing depression.

Another important part of the University of Washington’s IMPACT Trial was examining long-term health care costs over a 4-year period. At the end of the study, researchers discovered an initial investment in collaborative care resulted in significant savings over time. The published results indicate that every dollar spent on collaborative care saves $6.50 in health care costs. Primary care practices that used a collaborative care approach for depression treatment during the study saved an average of nearly $850 per year for each patient. The average net cost savings over a 4-year period for people with depression were about $3,400 per patient.

How We Can Help

Part of our mission at GoodTherapy.org is to challenge mental health stigma and educate the public about mental health conditions and treatment. The gaps in mental health treatment exacerbate poor physical health for many and causes some to live with treatable mental health issues, often as a result of stigma. Pursuing better approaches to treating mental health and wellness creates a world of stronger, healthier communities, which benefits us all.

Our organization is ranked as one of the top directories of mental health professionals, therapists, and psychiatrists on the internet, with thousands of members in more than 30 countries worldwide. Visitors to GoodTherapy.org can search for a mental health specialist or therapist by location, specialty, treatment modality, or several other factors. We ensure the highest membership standards of any online mental health directory and verify that each member meets strict educational, licensure, and philosophical guidelines.

Whether you’re searching for a mental health referral or a partner to assist your practice in a collaborative care approach, GoodTherapy.org can help you provide better, more cost-effective treatment for people experiencing mental health challenges.

References:

1. Bishop, T. F., Ramsay, P. P., Casalino, L. P., Bao, B., Pincus, H. A., & Shortell, S. M. (2016 March). Care management processes used less often for depression than for other chronic conditions in US primary care practices. Health Affairs, 35(3). 394-400. doi: 1377/hlthaff.2015.1068
2. Luthra, S. (2016, March 7). Doctors often fail to treat depression like a chronic illness. NPR. Retrieved from http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2016/03/07/469504900/doctors-often-fail-to-treat-depression-like-a-chronic-illness
3. Overview of the IMPACT trial. (n.d.) University of Washington, Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences. Retrieved from http://impact-uw.org/about/
4. Treating major depressive disorder: a quick reference guide. (n.d.) American Psychiatric Association. Retrieved from http://psychiatryonline.org/pb/assets/raw/sitewide/practice_guidelines/guidelines/mdd-guide.pdf
5. Unützer, J., Harbin, H., Shoenbaum, M., & Druss, B. (2013 May). The collaborative care model: an approach for integrating physical and mental health care in medicaid health homes. Health Home. Retrieved from https://www.medicaid.gov/State-Resource-Center/Medicaid-State-Technical-Assistance/Health-Homes-Technical-Assistance/Downloads/HH-IRC-Collaborative-5-13.pdf

Part of GoodTherapy’s mission and vision is encouraging people everywhere to learn more about mental health issues and treatment. We believe this is helpful in changing stigmatizing language and beliefs about mental health issues, in developing mental health care policies, and in promoting a system in which better, more compassionate outcomes are the norm.

Mental Health Awareness Month, established in 1949 and recognized each May, is a great opportunity for us to talk about stigma, share statistics, and demystify psychotherapy and other healthy treatment options. It’s also a chance to celebrate the important work mental health professionals are doing every day. This Mental Health Awareness Month, we reached out to our members and asked them to share, in their own words, what motivated or influenced them to work in mental health care. They responded:

Jessica Wade, LPCC

As long as I can remember, I have been a student of people. I remember asking questions about why some people did well in life and others seemed struggle. While I think this is a question researchers are still studying, I did notice patterns in the lives surrounding mine. I noticed that people who believed they could overcome their problems seemed to fare better than those who believed their problems were too big. I watched people who believed they could overcome problems truly rise to the occasion and overcome serious addiction, rise out of poverty, choose healthy relationships, and find mental and behavioral stability. As a therapist, my goal has been to enrich and fortify people’s self-knowledge that they can overcome difficulty. They have the potential for personal greatness within them, and I help them rally their resources to create the lives they desire. I firmly believe that they can create the kind of lives and relationships they desire, only when they firmly believe they can. I have made it my mission to help my people see their own potential and believe in the power of themselves to make it happen. I see greatness come alive in the small steps my clients take each day.

Benjamin Meyer, LCSW

As I think about the tears that dripped down the face of one of the mothers who had lost her son in the 1970s in the clandestine and infamous German colony known as Colonia Dignidad, located in Southern Chile, I distinctly remember the words of one of my college advisers: “And to think, Benjamin, that after all these years, she still remembers it as if it was yesterday.” My interest in becoming a mental health professional stems from my experiences working with individuals and families who had been violently persecuted under Chile’s Pinochet dictatorship and during the Salvadoran Civil War.

[fat_widget_right]I witnessed the ongoing impact of having lost a loved one, having experienced torture or knowing someone who was, and being forcibly uprooted from one’s community. I felt limited in my ability to help the persecuted and their family members to process the complex feelings associated with political violence. My motivation for becoming a therapist stemmed from my desire to do more. Therefore, I pursued a master’s in social work and began to work with children and families, many of whom have faced forced immigration, domestic violence, racism, and school-related concerns. I make a difference every day.

Davida D. Price, MS, EdS

For them; that’s why I did it, at first. I wanted them to understand that they didn’t ruin me. That I had become full—exceptionally strong, self-empowered, capable—despite them. I completed my undergraduate degree in psychology, seeking to understand them and myself. I wanted to understand how I had become an adolescent poetess, drinker, smoker, partying, feeling-all-the-time-not-wanting-to-feel-at-all type of person. I learned during that time in my life that I was none of those things, but rather an empty, love-desperate child pretending to be an adult who was complete. Then, I entered graduate school. Now older, rubbed raw from military experience and weary from rumination and “self-help,” I wanted it for me this time. Not them. The program I entered was strategically designed to cultivate integrity, strength, and wholeness.  The student-therapist I became developed a strong self-concept, a secure locus of control, and (most important of all) faith. That faith led me to where I am today. Today, I want to serve others. Motivate others. Help other people on their journey from emotional poverty to wholeness, security, and their truest self.

Gena Golden MSW, LCSW, CHt

As a child, my outlook was filled with pessimism and negativity mainly as a means to protect myself from hurt and disappointment. I convinced myself that if I had low expectations about outcomes, I would be shielded when the other shoe dropped. My mother, a case worker at a Philadelphia psychiatric hospital, would always refer to a concept called mind over matter. She would try to convince me that what we believe to conceive, we can achieve. Clinging to my “Negative Nancy” outlook on life, I couldn’t understand my mother’s notion about the mind having power over my experience. However, it all changed one day when I had the most horrific headache I ever experienced in my young life. I was so miserable and debilitated by this strange pain in my head that I declared at 9 years old that I would never have another headache again. That day, I put my mother’s teachings into action and declared and imagined every day that I was free of headaches. I maintained a 35-year headache-free life all due to how I changed my thinking, words, and actions as a tool to manifest my desired outcomes for my life. I decided as a young girl that I wanted to support others through challenges in their life by helping them to heal through the use of their own inner power. As a counselor and hypnotherapist, I help people relax their bodies and minds through the use of hypnosis. Together, we explore positive ways to recondition limited thinking patterns, belief systems, and behaviors to uncover the results desired for their lives, business, and relationships. I am passionate about people I treat and their transformation from self-sabotage, unhealthy beliefs, self-doubt, and pessimism, to a space of clarity, self-esteem, confidence, and optimism with our work together. I find joy in helping others live a more fulfilled life.

Meri Levy, LMFT

I imagined growing up to be a therapist when I was a teenager, because my mother worked as a psychotherapy office manager and the therapists seemed like interesting people. But when I got to college, the psychology department was all about lab rats and psychological experiments, and I really had no interest in that. I discovered I was good at economics and ended up getting a master’s degree and working as an economist in state government for over a decade. Then, after having my second child, I suffered from postpartum depression and anxiety. It took months of suffering to get a diagnosis and the proper treatment. After I recovered, I was fired up about supporting other moms in getting help. After several years of running support groups, I decided the best way I could help was to become a therapist and specialize in the treatment of new moms. It’s been so satisfying to be able to help light the way for those suffering through a traumatic journey that I have personally experienced.

Marni Amsellem, PhD

Mental Health Awareness Month is a meaningful time to reflect on why I wanted to become a psychologist and how that still rings true today. As someone who has devoted my career to the promotion of mental health, I am grateful for the opportunities I have been granted through my work. As a therapist, I have been allowed access into the inner worlds of others. I have been entrusted with thoughts and feelings that are often not shared with others in their daily lives. It is a giant responsibility and something that I thoroughly enjoy.

I became a therapist so that I could help others understand themselves better so they learn how to help themselves feel better. I help others recognize insights and make connections in their own world that lead to a shift in their understanding of themselves. My goal is to help teach skills that bring meaningful and positive change into the lives of others. The changes that happen in therapy will both lead to immediate relief and, ideally, to sustained improvement and growth over time. Having the opportunity to have an influential role in this process is exactly why I provide therapy.

Tammi Young, LMFT-S

I became a therapist because of the sexual abuse and domestic violence that I experienced as a child. I could not understand why I could not get over the anger and other overwhelming feelings I had until I went into counseling. The feeling of being understood and validated was so healing that it didn’t matter to me anymore if my family didn’t understand me because I knew that God understood me as well as my therapist. I became a therapist to walk that “scary road” with people and to let them know that I do understand! Understanding is what I received, and understanding is what I want to give back!

Reference:

Mental health month. (2016). Retrieved from http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/may

There are many different types of residential treatment centers (RTCs) that offer therapeutic care for a wide variety of behavioral and mental health issues. Choosing a center that is suited to your personal needs is important; however, with many options available, making a decision may be difficult. How can you decide which RTC is right for you? Consider these answers to ten frequently asked questions about RTCs, as well as insight from Darren Haber, MA, MFT, an expert on addictions and compulsions.

1. What is a residential treatment center?

A residential treatment center is a health care facility that helps people experiencing various substance dependency and behavioral issues. For some inpatient treatments, residents may be required to live at the facility for a period of time. Some facilities also offer outpatient treatment to help former residents avoid relapse and to provide options for people who cannot commit to living at the facility temporarily. In most cases, treatment lasts for one to three months.

“[The] average stays tend to be 30 days, but some stay longer, and some shorter. Thirty days seems to be the industry norm,” Haber said.

2. What are the most important things to look for in an RTC?

Check and confirm that the RTC and any programs you wish to attend are accredited and the treatment programs are being administered by licensed, qualified mental health professionals. Ask if the program has a clinical director and about his or her credentials. Learn as much as you can about the treatment center you’re considering through third parties such as the Better Business Bureau, online reviews, and any local consumer protection agencies. If you need it, ensure that an active aftercare program is in place to help prevent relapse.

3. What type of issues do residential treatment centers treat?

Because different RTCs specialize in treating different health issues, the structure, routines, and therapeutic methods used will vary from facility to facility. Some centers take a “lock-down” approach where residents are secured within the facility’s premises and their movements inside the center are restricted. Other RTCs may take an unlocked approach and allow residents to traverse the premises with some degree of freedom; however, residents may only be permitted to leave the center if certain conditions are met.

In recent years, the residential treatment field has expanded. At some centers, everything from substance abuse to sex addiction to codependence may be treated. There are also centers that focus solely on substance abuse or eating disorders, for example.

Issues treated at an RTC may include:

• [rtc_widget_right]Drug dependency
• Alcohol dependency
• Eating disorders
• Sexual addiction
• Bipolar
• Depression
• Posttraumatic stress
• Personality issues
• Anxiety

It should be noted, too, that some RTCs specializing in mental health treatment may not provide therapeutic care for substance dependency issues.

4. Why do people go to residential treatment centers?

“Usually because their condition or problem has reached the point where it needs containment—that is, 24-hour medical or psychological monitoring due to harmful behaviors or medical problems—and has become so acute that it requires an acute, sustained focus,” Haber said.

5. What kinds of services are provided by RTCs?

Residential treatment centers offer a variety of services, which may include 24-hour supervision, intensive recovery programs, individual counseling, group counseling, structured activities, educational services, social skills training, vocational training, and relapse prevention services.

6. What are the benefits of a RTC over other forms of treatment?

The environment in a residential treatment center is usually more comfortable than the sterile, functional setting of a hospital. The residents are able to focus solely on their healing and recovery programs as they are removed from the stresses of daily life.

Some treatments, such as chemical detoxification, may be life threatening. For those cases, RTCs provide trained medical personal to keep residents safe during such treatments. Residents also have the opportunity to explore the emotional and psychological underpinnings for their behaviors in counseling sessions with a qualified mental health professional.

“Some people also go for legal reasons, such as being ordered by a judge after a DUI or DWI, for example. Usually one goes to an RTC because living life day-to-day has become unmanageable or to the point where one’s well-being, job, or close relationships are threatened,” Haber said.

7. What is the experience of being a resident at a residential treatment center like?

“It’s really what the client or patient makes of it. Anyone who participates to the best of his or her ability can potentially gain much and grow and learn tools for lifelong use. If one has been forced in by family but doesn’t believe, for instance, that one truly has an issue with alcohol or addiction, it can feel almost like jail,” Haber said.

8. How can families or friends keep in touch with residents?

“It depends on the policy of the residential treatment center. Some encourage family contact and some don’t. Some RTCs prefer those in treatment wait until their detox is over, or that the person in treatment only meet family members with counselors present. I believe this is a crucial part of treatment that can easily be overlooked, since dysfunctional family systems often play a crucial role in the formation of the illness or addiction,” Haber said.

9. Are there any RTCs in my area?

With the number of treatment facilities currently providing care across the country, chances are there is a residential treatment center nearby. However, it is important to remember that your chances of recovery may be better if the chosen facility is well suited to your personal preferences and specific health condition.

10. How much does treatment at a residential treatment center cost?

“Some people also go for legal reasons, such as being ordered by a judge after a DUI or DWI, for example. Usually one goes to an RTC because living life day-to-day has become unmanageable or to the point where one’s well-being, job, or close relationships are threatened.”The cost of treatment at a residential treatment center will vary based on the condition being treated, services provided, length of treatment, and the location of the center. For example, The Betty Ford Center, one of the most well-known rehab programs, charges approximately $1,217 per day for inpatient alcohol addiction treatment at their Rancho Mirage, CA location. Other locations may charge more or less, and some may not offer a per-day rate. Most locations develop a program based on a person’s individual needs, which can drastically affect the cost depending on medication or other requirements.

Some facilities may be able to offer a sliding fee based on a person’s income, while some may be low or no cost. Others may offer luxurious settings and amenities. The types and costs of RTCs simply vary. If your personal health insurance covers residential care, even the more costly facilities may become affordable. Call your insurance company for more information regarding your covered benefits if you are in need of inpatient treatment.

References:

1. The Addiction Recovery Guide. (2015). Drug and alcohol addiction recovery. Retrieved from http://www.addictionrecoveryguide.org/treatment/residential
2. The American Residential Treatment Association. (n.d.). Types of programs. Retrieved from http://artausa.org/type_programs.html
3. Federal Trade Commission. (n.d.) Residential treatment programs for teens. Retrieved from http://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0185-residential-treatment-programs-teens
4. Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation. (n.d.) Addiction treatment specialties. Retrieved from http://www.hazeldenbettyford.org/treatment/locations/betty-ford-center-rancho-mirage
5. Mental Health America. (n.d.). In patient care. Retrieved from http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/patient-care
6. National Institute on Drug Abuse. (n.d.) Principles of drug addiction treatment: a research based guide. Retrieved from http://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0185-residential-treatment-programs-teens
7. Smith, M., & Segal, J. (2015). Choosing a drug treatment program: What to look for in substance abuse rehab. Retrieved from http://www.helpguide.org/articles/addiction/choosing-a-drug-treatment-program.htm

Research on mindfulness shows that it can be beneficial for improving a person’s attention, mood, pain tolerance, and immune function. It can also be used to reduce stress and increase a person’s cognitive functioning. Therapists use it to treat depression, anxiety, drug addiction, and a vast number of other mental health issues. Recently, the practice, rooted in some of the principles of Buddhism, has found an unlikely advocate in the Department of Defense (DoD), which has also started using mindfulness to help soldiers prepare for and return from combat.

Its use in the military is considered somewhat controversial by some, as traditional mindfulness practices are often associated with an opposition to conflict and the promotion of peace.

“Mindfulness can be used as a tool to manage attention, regulate affect, and monitor cognition,” mindfulness practitioner Andrew Archer, LCSW said. “I imagine this form of grounding and centering could prepare people for extremely charged, chaotic environments. However, mindfulness has been best practiced with the act of conscientious objection to war.”

Why Is Mindfulness Taught in the Military?

[fat_widget_right]Proponents of mindfulness training for the military explain that although war is not ideal, it remains a reality for society today. If soldiers must participate in war, they should receive training that will not only help prepare them for combat, but also help them manage the stress and trauma associated with it.

For the military to be successful, soldiers must be able to absorb a large amount of information at once and be able to make quick decisions without succumbing to overwhelm or stress. For this reason, mindfulness-based training programs are being introduced in the military, one of the most visible being Mindfulness-based Mind Fitness Training (MMFT).

MMFT is a 20-hour course designed to increase resilience to stress for those working in high-stress environments. The program is based on the principle of mental fitness. Mentally fit, according to the program, is defined as being efficient in four capacities:

• Attention
• Mental agility
• Situational awareness
• Emotional awareness

Mindfulness training teaches these important skills that not only help soldiers on the battlefield, but also help ease their return home.

Mindfulness Before Combat

The period before a combat deployment for many in the military is highly demanding both mentally and physically. Not only are service members intensively training for their upcoming mission, but they’re also psychologically preparing to leave their families behind and enter into a dangerous environment.

The University of Miami conducted a mindfulness study of 75 soldiers stationed in Hawaii awaiting deployment to Afghanistan. The results of the study indicated that just 8 hours of mindfulness training during an 8-week period helped improve the soldiers’ attention span and prevented their minds from wandering when subjected to tests that measured those factors. The University of Miami study suggests even brief mindfulness training programs may help improve the cognitive functioning of deploying military personnel.

The University of California, San Diego School of Medicine and Naval Health Research Center published a study in May 2014 in the American Journal of Psychiatry that explored whether integrating mindfulness practices to increase mind and body awareness into pre-deployment training could help reduce the occurrence of posttraumatic stress (PTSD), depression, and anxiety in returning soldiers.

During this study, pre-combat Marine infantrymen learned various mindfulness meditation techniques, including interoception, which is the ability to help the body regulate and sustain its homeostasis by cultivating awareness of bodily sensations such as heart rate, stomach tightening, and skin tingling. The Marines then underwent a mock combat scenario with a highly realistic ambush in a scene designed to resemble one they might encounter in the Middle East. The study examined the Marines’ heart and breathing rates and compared the results of those who received mindfulness training to a group that did not. The group that received mindfulness training returned to baseline sooner than those who hadn’t.

Mindfulness After Combat

The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) estimates about 1 in 5 Iraq and Afghanistan veterans return experiencing PTSD. With such a high rate of occurrence, it is important that soldiers have access to effective treatment options. Although medication is still highly prescribed, it may not be effective for treating all the emotional and cognitive aspects of PTSD. Mindfulness training, according to the VA’s National Center for PTSD, The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) estimates that about 1 in 5 Iraq and Afghanistan veterans return experiencing PTSD. With such a high rate of occurrence, it is important that soldiers have access to effective treatment options. Although medication is still highly prescribed, it may not be effective for treating all the emotional and cognitive aspects of PTSD.however, has been proven to help those experiencing PTSD cope with anxiety and hyperarousal—two conditions commonly reported by returning veterans. Additionally, the National Center for PTSD says mindfulness can be useful either as a complementary or stand-alone treatment.

Virtual mindfulness training programs have also been used to help teach veterans mindfulness practices as well as connect them to a larger veteran community, all in the comfort of their own homes. Coming Home, a project developed by the University of Southern California’s Institute for Creative Technologies and sponsored by the U.S. Army’s Research, Development, and Engineering Command, is a post-deployment transitional support program offered virtually to veterans who are reintegrating into civilian life. Through this program, veterans learn the principles of mindfulness-based stress reduction using an avatar character in the 3D virtual world of Second Life. The program not only helps veterans learn mindfulness and reduce stress, but it also provides a social component, which may be especially valuable for veterans living in areas where they may not have access to services or a larger veteran community locally.

Research continues to reveal benefits mindfulness training provides for soldiers both before and after combat. These benefits in some cases have the potential to be life-saving, both from improved situational awareness and stress resilience during battle and from decreasing the intensity and occurrence of posttraumatic stress symptoms, which are often linked to a high rate of veteran suicides.

References:

1. Gregoire, C. (2015, February 18). Mindfulness training improves resilience of active duty soldiers. Huffington Post. Retrieved from: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/18/mindfulness-military-_n_6704804.html
2. Minds at Attention: Military and Mindfulness. (2015, February 12). University of Miami: College of Arts and Sciences. Retrieved from: http://www.as.miami.edu/news/news-archive/minds-at-attention-military-and-mindfulness.html
3. PTSD: National Center for PTSD. (n.d.). Mental Health Effects of Servicing in Afghanistan and Iraq. Retrieved from http://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/PTSD-overview/reintegration/overview-mental-health-effects.asp
4. Stanley, E.A. & Schaldach, J.M. (2011 January). Mindfulness-based mind fitness training (MMFT). Mind Fitness Training Institute. Retrieved from: http://www.mind-fitness-training.org/MMFTOverviewNarrative.pdf
5. Teaching Veterans Virtually. (2011, April 5). Retrieved from: http://www.mindful.org/news/teaching-veterans-virtually
6. University of California, San Diego. (2014, May 16). War and Peace (of Mind): Mindfulness training for military could help them deal with stress. ScienceDaily. Retrieved from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/05/140516092519.htm
7. Veterans Relearn Compassion through Meditation. (n.d.) Retrieved from: http://www.mindful.org/the-mindful-society/veterans-relearn-compassion-through-meditation

Breakups are often a painful ordeal, but the pain is all the more excruciating when you don’t see it coming. You thought things were going great, and then seemingly out of nowhere your partner breaks it off, leaving you alone with an aching heart.

Finding closure after an unexpected breakup can be incredibly challenging, but here are 10 tips to help you move on after getting dumped.

1. Allow Yourself to Feel

Studies have shown that the brain copes with rejection similarly to the way it processes physical pain. Some may be tempted to numb the pain with drugs and alcohol or jump immediately into another relationship to avoid their feelings. Rather than taking this approach, allow yourself to feel the emotions in their entirety, whatever they may be.

It is natural to grieve after any loss. Even if you avoid the pain initially, eventually you have to face it to heal. By giving yourself time to grieve, you’ll find it easier to obtain the closure you seek and move on with your life.

2. Understand the Grieving Process

[fat_widget_right]Relationship counselor Jesse Johnson, MA, LPC suggests, “After a relationship ends, it’s important to honor the grieving process, not only in the loss of the relationship, but in the loss of any future vision for the relationship. Some people need to grieve an entire life’s vision in this way. It’s a big deal and honoring the end will help greatly with closure.”

3. Practice Forgiveness

Holding on to any grudges or resentment for your former partner will only prevent you from moving on with your life. Offer yourself a pardon by being willing to let go of the past and forgive your ex for any ways you feel you were wronged.

Likewise, forgive yourself for any mistakes you may have made in the relationship. Hold yourself in a state of compassion, and be willing to learn from the past so you can make better choices in the future.

4. Channel the Energy Elsewhere

Rather than sit around and let your anger, sadness, or frustration eat away at you, choose to channel that energy into something productive. Exercise is an excellent way to move energy out of your body and it releases endorphins, which will help improve your mood. You may also consider getting involved in your community or taking up a new hobby.

5. Maintain Your Self-Worth

There’s no denying that being rejected by someone you love hurts, but refuse to let it impact your self-esteem. Know your value as a person, and honor your self-worth.

Choose to maintain your dignity by not trying to force someone to be in your life who doesn’t want to be. Eventually, the right person will come along and you won’t have to prove your worth because he or she will recognize it.

6. Throw Out the Mementos

It’s tough to get rid of old love letters, photos, and other mementos, but choosing to keep them only encourages you to hang on to the past.

There is nothing wrong with keeping your memories, but choose to do so in a way that isn’t destructive. Consider taking down the old photos and keeping the mementos out of sight in a keepsake box or other non-visible location.

7. Create Your Own Closure

Ironically, seeking closure can be one of the greatest hindrances to moving on from a breakup. It can be tempting toSometimes when a relationship ends, it was meant to end. There may be someone else out there for you who is a far better match than your former partner. try to organize a big conversation with an ex to get real answers for why the relationship ended. In many cases, you won’t be able to have that conversation and the odds are that even if you did, it probably wouldn’t help much anyway.

While closure tends to work well in the business world, it doesn’t really fit in when it comes to matters of the heart. We may want a neat little ending to our pain, but it’s rarely that simple.

In reality, the best way to get closer to that feeling of closure you desire may be to simply cut off all contact. Let go of the idea of mending the relationship and create your own form of closure. Allow yourself to start building a new life outside of the former relationship and do what you need to do to move on.

9. Embrace the Impermanence of Life

Change is the only constant in our lives. As much as we try to hang on to anything in life, there is no forever. Everything is constantly in flux. By refusing to accept this, you resist life itself.

Help yourself move on by embracing the natural impermanence of our ephemeral lives on this planet. Understand that people come and go in our lives, and sometimes we have no choice but to let go of the old and embrace the new.

9. Keep the Faith

It is far too easy to become cynical after being dumped. Rather than being bitter, remain open to the possibilities of love. Therapist Deb Hirschhorn, PhD offers this piece of advice for the brokenhearted: “Don’t think of it as getting dumped; think of it as being set free.”

Sometimes when a relationship ends, it was meant to end. There may be someone else out there for you who is a far better match than your former partner. Allow yourself to grieve and then, when you’re ready, consider the possibility of entering a new relationship.

10. Seek Support

You don’t have to go through a breakup or any relationship problem alone. Seek support from your friends and family. Allow them to hold a safe container for you to share your feelings. If the container of family and friends is not enough, consider finding a therapist you trust to help you work through and process your feelings in a safe space.

Reference:

1. Saul, Heather. (2013, October 16). Brain treats rejection like physical pain say scientists. The Independent. Retrieved from http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/brain-treats-rejection-like-physical-pain-say-scientists-8884507.html

At its most basic definition, self-care is any intentional action taken to meet an individual’s physical, mental, spiritual, or emotional needs. In short, it’s all the little ways we take care of ourselves to avoid a breakdown in those respective areas of health.

You may find that, at certain points, the world and the people in it place greater demands on your time, energy, and emotions than you might feel able to handle. This is precisely why self-care is so important. It is the routine maintenance you need do to function your best not only for others, but also for yourself.

GoodTherapy’s own business and administrative, web development, outreach and advertising, editorial and education, and support teams have compiled a massive list of some of their own personal self-care activities to offer some help for those struggling to come up with their own maintenance plan. Next time you find yourself saying, “I really need to do something for myself,” browse our list and pick something that speaks to you. Be silly, be caring to others, and make your self-care a priority! In most cases, taking care of yourself doesn’t even have to cost anything. And because self-care is as unique as the individual performing it, we’d love to invite you to comment and add any of your own personal self-care activities in the comments section below. Give back to your fellow readers and share some of the little ways you take care of yourself.

Check out our therapists in Seattle, WA or find a city closer to you.

The Web Development Team

Our web development team made up of programmers, web developers, designers, and SEO professionals is all about optimizing the user experience. When they aren’t hard at work making our site function, these are some of the ways they keep themselves functioning:

1. Pick one thing that you need to do and get it done so it’s off your mental “to do” list.
2. Get a manicure or pedicure.
3. Get a massage.
4. Try acupuncture. Read up on it if you’ve never tried it.
5. Get a book from the library (free) or bookstore about some topic you’ve been interested in, but have never taken the time to learn. Afterward, spend a few minutes each day learning about it.
6. Use a planner or a calendar to intentionally schedule “me time.”
7. In the morning, listen to music that inspires and motivates you.
8. Write a list of things you’re grateful to have in your life and post it somewhere you can see it often. We have a tendency to focus on the negative, so remind yourself of the good stuff.
9. Go through your closet and purge the clothes you haven’t worn in years. Donate them to a charitable organization.
10. If you bring your lunch to work, pack a few extra items to share with someone less fortunate on your way or during your lunch break.
11. Share a kind smile with strangers on your way to and from work. Some people may go all day without anyone acknowledging their existence.
12. Start a cycle of encouragement. Tell someone near you what you appreciate about them. They may return the favor when you need it most.
13. If you buy your morning coffee, skip it today and donate the money to a charity of your choosing.
14. Call your mom, dad, or any other family member you care about just to say hi.
15. For fun, dress your pet in a silly costume and take them on tour to make others smile.
16. Learn how to sew. Self-sufficiency may have some other mental health benefits for you as well.
17. Send a completely random care package to someone you love. Who doesn’t love a surprise?
18. Intentionally reestablish contact with someone you’ve lost touch with or have unresolved conflict with. If there is conflict, resolve it and let go of the unnecessary baggage.
19. Try out a form of martial arts. A lot of schools offer a free lesson.
20. Learn how to make a budget and keep track of your money coming in, going out, and know how much money you have right now. If you live paycheck to paycheck, this can be incredibly empowering.
21. Take a moment at the end of each day and consciously list a few good things in your life. This can help refocus your emotions on all the positive things that happen each day, even when it doesn’t seem like it.
22. Turn off your phone and step away from the computer for a whole day.
23. Carry some extra change and feed someone’s meter if you see it running low. Random acts of kindness come back around!
24. Take a few minutes out of your day and a enjoy a funny animal video on YouTube

The Support Team

The support team at GoodTherapy is all about taking care of our members and connecting our visitors with the right therapist. Here, they offer an abundance of their own tips for building your self-care routine:

25. Do something nice for someone and make sure no one can trace it back to you—an incognito act of kindness.
26. Go for a walk by yourself with headphones on, listening to music you love.
27. Prepare a meal, no matter how simple.
28. Create something for no practical purpose such as a song, a poem, an essay, a painting, a drawing, a comic strip, a collage, etc.
29. Start a genuine conversation with someone you care about that covers the following: things that are going well, things you’re having a hard time with, and things you are grateful for.
30. Lay on the floor on your back with your eyes closed for five minutes (or longer) and just breathe.
31. Shower with all the lights off. It forces you to move incredibly slow and it’s so relaxing. Make sure to have safety mats in place so you don’t slip on your way out.
32. Stare at your pet or another animal and seriously contemplate their existence. Do you think they believe they have a higher purpose?
33. Rearrange all of your furniture in a way that makes you more comfortable or just to try something fresh in your living space.
34. Check in with yourself a few times each day and take a moment to process your thoughts and emotions. Don’t let them build up.
35. Swing on a swing set. Too many adults forget how much fun this is.
36. Call your friend or sibling when you know they can’t answer and leave a ridiculously funny made up song as your voicemail. You’ll spread a little laughter while also laughing in the process.
37. Make up a brand new dance move and teach it to someone.
38. Do a five minute meditation on your feet.
39. Carve a couple hours out of your schedule this weekend to enjoy the classic film You Can’t Take it With You.
40. Go out to see a movie at your favorite theater all by yourself.
41. Make brownies and give them away to a neighbor, family member, friend, or someone you know that could use a pick-me-up. Enjoy any leftover batter.
42. Make a piece of artwork—draw, paint, cut and paste, whatever—that someone might interpret as ugly and tell it you love and accept it anyway.
43. Watch RuPaul’s Drag Race and bask in the charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent of the contestants. Try to channel some of that in your own life when you find yourself needing it.
44. Karaoke, but do it completely sober.
45. Worry less about your bathroom scale or any other appliance that makes you feel bad about yourself.
46. Go to a support group meeting and share.
47. Go to a support group meeting and listen.
48. Listen to a podcast about something that interests you that you haven’t yet explored.
49. Tell your cat all of your darkest, most shameful secrets. His or her nonchalance and snuggles will remind you that you’re okay.
50. Share dorky pictures of yourself from middle school and angsty teenage poetry and drawings with your friends. Ask for your friends to share theirs with you. This is a great way to let go of feelings of shame or any embarrassment you might be holding onto from those awkward years.
51. Roll out a blanket and eat your dinner on the grass at home or in the park. Invite someone else if you’d like company.
52. If you live near them, two words: hot springs. If you don’t live near hot springs, find the one nearest to you and start planning a vacation.
53. Make yourself a gourmet grilled cheese and some tomato soup. Comfort food at the right time or during the right type of weather can be great for boosting your mood.
54. Tell yourself something that resists self-criticism but feels encouraging like, “I’m doing the best that I can.”
55. Taking care of yourself can start with something small! Maybe today you just need to lie down on the couch instead of on your bed for a change of scenery.
56. Write a zine, or a mini-zine, about something you care about, or that you think is interesting. You can make a mini-zine with just one sheet of 8 1/2 x 11 paper!
57. Write something encouraging on a post-it and put it where you will see it every day! Or write directly on your mirror: “I am beautiful and brave.”
58. Say a magnificent affirmation out loud, like “I am a child of the universe, and I have been given endless talents and capabilities.”
59. Commit to posting mostly or only positive things on your favored social media site for a while. For every sad news item, there’s a related (or unrelated) story of resilience, bravery, and triumph.
60. Write a review of a business you like. Send that positive energy into the universe and share some love for your favorite local places!
61. Do something you used to like to do, whether or not you were or are “good at it.” Remind yourself that you can do something just because you enjoy it, and the only way most people get better at something is practice.
62. Read a book that’s easy and fun. You can give it away to a younger person in your life after if you feel like giving it up.
63. Listen to an album you loved when you were younger but haven’t heard in a long time.
64. Make a playlist or mixtape about your current mood. Give yourself permission to make one that expresses how you feel, or maybe even how you’d like to feel.
65. Congratulate yourself for doing difficult things, even if they might not seem difficult to others. Depending on the individual, plenty of everyday things can be difficult, like riding the bus, standing in line, filing paperwork, going to the doctor, making food, doing chores, etc.
66. Send a postcard to someone far away. Decorate it before sending it.
67. Paint your nails a fun color. Use jewels, glitter, nail stickers, or false nails. If you don’t want to spend money, try to use something you have around the house and see where your creativity leads.
68. Go to a store that sells crystals and buy one that speaks to you. Look up what it means or does. Sometimes they are $1 or less!
69. Reflect on the struggles your ancestors endured so you could exist and remember that you have inherited their strength and resilience.
70. Try to memorize one constellation you don’t already know and find it in the sky tonight.

The Editorial and Education Team

The editorial and education team at GoodTherapy is all about providing high-quality information, whether you’re a casual reader or a seasoned mental health professional. Between publishing articles on the blog, creating directories of information like PsychPedia, and hosting continuing education events for our therapist members, this is how they take care of themselves:

71. Set your camera to macro and take close-up pictures of bugs, flowers, and anything else that catches your eye outside your home or in a public space.
72. Select a lesser-known book by one of your favorite writers and dive into the pages.
73. Use a site like meetup.com, find something you’re interested in, and commit to attending at least one meeting.
74. Hand write a letter to a friend or relative and start a conversation the old-fashioned way.
75. Learn a new board game you’ve never played such as chess, backgammon, or othello.
76. If you play guitar, try learning a song from a genre you don’t typically listen to.
77. Find a spot in a busy place such as downtown, a bus station, or a mall and sit in silence with nowhere to be.
78. Read a religious text you aren’t familiar with.
79. Build something spectacular with Legos, either from a kit or from your imagination.
80. Dedicate a day to learning more about the local history where you live.
81. Take an Epsom salt bath in total darkness and silence, or perhaps with just a candle or two.
82. Bring a little cheer to your local animal shelter. Pet the kitties and walk a dog. You don’t necessarily have to take one home with you.
83. Go for a walk around the neighborhood, or hike a local trail you’ve never been on.
84. Cook a healthy and delicious meal using fresh ingredients you rarely splurge on.
85. Plant something—a tree, a small vegetable garden, a flower.
86. Sing! Turn up your favorite sing-along tunes and channel Etta James, Eminem, Eddie Vedder, or whoever moves you.
87. If you live near a body of water and have access, go kayaking or canoeing. Bring a buddy, and wear a life vest.
88. Go to a local gym or park and shoot some hoops, even if basketball isn’t really your thing; don’t worry about being “good” at it.
89. Get that trendy or fashionable haircut you’ve been thinking about but always talk yourself out of.
90. Finish this sentence: “I love myself because I ______________.” Do this once per day, with a new ending each time.
91. Watch a couple episodes of a feel-good sitcom for a few giggles. Have an exit strategy so you don’t get sucked into an all-day marathon and feel guilty for it.
92. When you wake up in the morning, get in the habit of making your first thought a positive one: “I am ready for today.” “Today is a new opportunity.” “I will do something I am proud of today.”
93. Touch nature every single day. Hug a tree, pick a flower, or run your fingers through some grass.

The Outreach and Advertising Team

Our outreach and advertising team fulfills the traditional role of marketing and then some. They help our company establish and foster relationships while leveraging technology to provide unique advertising opportunities online. They offered these activities for the next time you need some “you” time:

94. Pilates!
95. Cut some fresh flowers and display them prominently to lift your spirit.
96. Take a nap on the next Saturday you find yourself with an extra hour or two.
97. Treat yourself to a tasty meal at a fancy restaurant because you’ve earned it.
98. Learn the basics of a new language.
99. Attend a local high school sporting event and remember what sports are like when nobody is getting paid to play them.
100. Go to a comedy club. Laughter really is the best medicine.
101. On a clear night, find a safe and secluded spot away from the lights of the city, grab a blanket, stare up at the stars, and let your mind wander from big to small thoughts.
102. Go for a bike ride or a drive to nowhere in particular.
103. Attend a local music performance. Many small clubs, restaurants, and coffee shops have free admission for some shows.
104. Listen to a chapter or two from an audiobook.
105. Allow yourself to sleep in a couple of extra hours this weekend; errands and chores can wait!
106. Instead of always going to the tried-and-true, try a new restaurant this week. You might discover a new go-to.
107. Next time you’re getting lunch, buy lunch for the person behind you in line. Say you’re “paying it forward” and walk away with a smile on your face.
108. Book a night at a hotel outside of town, somewhere you’ve never spent much time. Explore the scene and enjoy the sights.
109. Go wine tasting. It’s an inexpensive way to sample a variety of local wines you might not be able to find in stores.
110. Learn Photoshop, Excel, or some other program you’ve been wanting to learn. There are many online tutorials.
111. Take your mom, dad, or another family member to lunch. You’ll be glad you did.
112. Write a limerick or a haiku!
113. Drink more water. The benefits are endless.
114. Write positive affirmations or inspirational quotes on small pieces of paper, then go to a bookstore and hide them in random books for strangers to find.
115. Try to find somewhere you can skip rocks on water.

The Business and Administrative Team

The business and administrative team ensures the wheels of GoodTherapy spin smoothly. They keep us growing, improving, and constantly reaching new therapists and readers that help make our mission and vision a reality. When they need to practice a little self-care, here’s what they do:

116. Make an inspiration collage and hang it where you can see it. Use it to help generate new ideas and thoughts when you need them.
117. Ask for help when you need it. It sounds simple, but trying to handle everything without help causes stress and anxiety for a lot people.
118. Take five to 10 minutes before bed to focus on what’s going on inside. Notice any parts of you that don’t feel relaxed. Invite them closer, listen to them, pay close attention and discover what their worries, fears, concerns, or other feelings are. Witness each part. Once all parts have relaxed, confirm with yourself that everything’s going to be all right and fall blissfully into sweet dreams.
119. If you want cuddles or a massage or quality time or whatever from your partner, ask for it! Sometimes the easiest way to get your needs met is to voice your needs in the first place.
120. Start a blog and write absolutely anything. You never know how your words might touch or hook people from all over the world!
121. Join a forum like Reddit or another place to talk about things you like.
122. Spend an hour this weekend at a soup kitchen or other volunteer opportunity.
123. Find a shop with tea, chocolate, or spices and enjoy the free smells for a while.
124. Go to an antique shop and marvel at all the history represented there. Make up stories about the objects’ pasts and the people they belonged to.
125. Go camping or backpacking and spend some time truly immersed in nature.
126. Go dancing and forget about any shame or regret. Even if you think you look like a fool, get out there and get moving.
127. We all get busy, but make it a point to make a date night with your significant other.
128. Stay in this weekend and host a family movie night.
129. Try something different with your coworkers and do standing meetings this week at work.
130. Try journaling if you’ve never tried it before. There are a lot of different ways to do it and lot of resources available to help you get started.
131. Learn how to tactfully say no to invitations or requests at times when you already feel overwhelmed.
132. Have a glass (or two) of red wine. Other than temporary stress relief, there are some great health benefits as long as you don’t overdo it.
133. Take a bubble bath with a good book.
134. Use the internet for its intended purpose and look up cat .gifs.

Need More than Self-Care to Get Back on Track?

Self-care, in many ways, is about prevention. It’s a way to make sure you stay strong and resilient when a crisis or other major life event occurs. However, sometimes you need more than a few self-care activities to feel centered again. If you find yourself experiencing emotions or a bad mood that seem to persist and negatively affect your life, consider finding a therapist or other qualified mental health professional. Sometimes examining these conditions in a safe, non-judgmental environment can help you understand what you’re experiencing better, help you build healthy strategies to cope with them, and help you build a self-care plan that works best for you.

From all of us at GoodTherapy, we’re wishing you the best!

Establishing a good self-care routine can sort of be compared to putting on an oxygen mask when an airplane cabin loses pressure. “Put your own mask on first before assisting others,” the flight attendant warns us during the safety brief before departure. While it may seem selfish and counterintuitive for some to help themselves before assisting others in an emergency, there is a simple truth contained in the order to don your own mask first:

You cannot help others to the best of your ability if you are stuck fighting for oxygen.

The same can be said of self-care. If you are not your best self, how can you provide the best support to those around you? It is important not only to monitor your own well-being, but also to make sure it is well maintained before a crisis occurs so you can take care of yourself and others when your help is really needed.

In order to develop your own self-care routine, evaluate these three essential components of self-care in your own life:

Physical Self-Care

The physical component of a good self-care routine incorporates all aspects of your life that affect you physiologically, such as diet, exercise, and the quality of your sleep.

A poor diet can profoundly impact your immune system, mental health, and risk for chronic disease. Our society’s acceptance and reliance on many convenient and fast foods may further compound the problem for some by perpetuating dietary issues, poor nutrition, and amplifying the effects of stress.

Exercise for physical self-care doesn’t have to be tough. Click to enlarge.

Exercise is also an important part of self-care, especially as more people take on sedentary jobs that have them sitting behind computer screens all day. The Harvard School of Public Health recommends healthy adults get at least 75 to 150 minutes of moderate to intense physical activity each week. Your physical activity does not have to be running a marathon; it can be something easy like a daily 30 minute walk after work, after dinner, or during your lunch break.

Finally, sleep—both quality and quantity—is a component of self-care that often gets overlooked, but according to a recent study in the Journal of Neuroscience, lack of sleep may actually cause irreversible damage to brain cells. In the study, researchers examined the brains of mice that were put under similar sleep conditions as late shift workers. They were only allowed to sleep four to five hours each day and after just a few days, scientists discovered significant brain cell loss in a particular area of the brain stem responsible for alertness and staying awake. Sleep is also important for healing damage we do to our bodies each day, weight loss, and maintaining healthy stress and hormone levels. The National Sleep Foundation recommends seven to nine hours of sleep each night for adults to remain healthy. To help you get better sleep, they also recommend the following:

• Try to keep the same sleep schedule even on the weekends.
• Try to incorporate a relaxing ritual such as reading a book or a few minutes of meditation before bed.
• Maintain a good exercise routine.
• Make your bedroom as dark and quiet as possible.
• Avoid alcohol and caffeine before bedtime.

If you’re still not convinced you need to sleep seven to nine hours each night, challenge yourself to do so for a week or two and see how you feel after you’ve gotten a period of good, restful sleep. The results will likely encourage you to continue taking care of yourself in this manner.

Mental Self-Care

Use it or lose it, the old saying goes. The mind is part of the body and, like the body, needs to be exercised to protect from cognitive decline and chemical imbalance, and to help you achieve your best sense of self. The mental component of a good self-care routine addresses your emotional needs, allows you to engage your creativity, and challenges your brain.

Engage your emotions by experiencing and acknowledging them in different ways. When you are angry at a friend or relative, write a letter you may or may not send that expresses exactly how you feel. Try writing in an “emotional journal” at the end of the day that details how different situations throughout the day made you feel. Acknowledge the good and the bad. You might be surprised to discover that these simple exercises may not only help you be more present in the moment, but they also may teach you to be more empathetic and conscious of the emotions of others.

You cannot help others to the best of your ability if you are stuck fighting for oxygen.

Allowing your creativity to run wild is another great way to exercise your mind and de-stress. Find an activity you enjoy such as painting, drawing, or writing that allows for creative self-expression. Let go of shame, regret, and caution, and let your artistic sessions get as weird as you want them to be. And don’t be concerned about whether you are any good at it; that’s why you practice it.

According to the Alzheimer’s Association, low levels of education have been linked to a greater risk for Alzheimer’s later in life. One hypothesis for this is a lower level of lifelong mental stimulation. Several bodies of important neurological research point to the possibility that regularly challenging your brain with activities like crossword puzzles, Sudoku, and jigsaw puzzles may help improve the lifespan of and facilitate better connections between brain cells. Although research is still being done to prove these hypotheses, it’s relatively safe to assume that exercising your problem-solving abilities can contribute to a healthier you.

Spiritual Self-Care

Even if you are not a religious person, spirituality is still an important component of a good self-care routine. On the other hand, if you do follow a particular religious faith, spirituality may already be a big part of your self-care routine without you even being aware of it. Regardless of where you fall on the spectrum, religion is only one avenue of expression when it comes to spirituality.

Spirituality is a blend of how you connect with others on a social level, how you connect with a higher form of your own self, and how you connect with the concept of something that is bigger than you. Expressing your spirituality might be dedicating time each day to pray about what concerns you, spending a few minutes in quiet meditation, or socializing with others and discussing what spirituality means among the group. Others ways people express their spirituality may include:

• Trying to live by a set of values you wish to see in others.
• Acknowledging the things in life you are grateful for.
• Reading books concerning spirituality in an effort to develop your own.
• Spending time outdoors connecting with the natural world.
• Volunteering to help those in need.

This component of self-care is important to our overall well-being because it helps us cope with stress, allows us time to reflect on ourselves, and provides safe space to express thoughts, beliefs, and emotions that are central to our own worldviews.

Know When Your Self-Care Routine Needs Work

Perhaps one of the most important parts of self-care is being able to recognize when you need to practice a little. If you neglect your own self-care for too long, especially if you are a caregiver or health care provider, you may experience burnout or some form of compassion fatigue that makes caring for others in an ethical way difficult or nearly impossible.

[fat_widget_right]If you find yourself feeling ground down and think you need help developing a good self-care routine, consider finding a therapist or counselor with whom you can form a therapeutic relationship. There may be underlying issues, emotions, or behaviors that need addressed in order for you take care of yourself physically, spiritually, and mentally.

If you feel like you are wearing thin trying to address other people’s needs and your own all the time, remember the warning from the airline attendant and reach for your oxygen mask.

References:

1. How much exercise do you need? (2013, November 20). Harvard School of Public Health. Retrieved from http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/physical-activity-guidelines
2. How much sleep do we really need?? (n.d.). National Sleep Foundation. Retrieved from http://sleepfoundation.org/how-sleep-works/how-much-sleep-do-we-really-need/page/0/1
3. Spirituality. (n.d.). Mental Health Foundation. Retrieved from https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/a-to-z/s/spirituality
4. Stay mentally active. (n.d.). Alzheimer’s Association. Retrieved from http://www.alz.org/we_can_help_stay_mentally_active.asp
5. Zhang J., Zhu Y., Zhan G., Fenik P., Panossian L., Wang M. M., Reid S., Lai D., Davis J. G., Baur J. A., Veasey S. (2014, March 19). Extended wakefulness: Compromised metabolics in and degeneration of locus ceruleus neurons. Journal of Neuroscience, 34(12): 4418–4431.

In some a cases, a person might only be able to afford or only have access to an intern for mental health treatment, but that should not discourage him or her from treatment altogether. While there are very clear differences between a fully-licensed therapist and an intern in terms of what they have completed for licensing requirements, the capabilities of interns may surprise you, especially when coupled with the type of qualities that make a great therapist. Here, several therapists discuss the difference between therapy with an intern and a fully-licensed therapist:

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According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, as many as one in five Americans will experience a mental health issue at some point in their lives. Of the nearly 60 million Americans who experience mental health concerns each year, many will never seek treatment for a variety of reasons including social stigma, cultural norms, and lack of access. In fact, a recent report published in the journal Psychological Science and the Public Interest found that an estimated 40% of individuals with serious mental health concerns either never receive care or start an intervention program without completing it.

The stigma surrounding mental health issues can be a significant barrier to care. Unfortunately, many people unknowingly contribute to the stigma simply with their everyday language choices. A poor choice of words not only stigmatizes, stereotypes, and creates unrealistic assumptions about certain people, but also can trivialize serious mental health conditions and their accompanying experiences.

While society tends to tread lightly around language concerning disabilities, race, or religion, it seems that we do not apply the same sensitivity to language involving mental health. For example, while you might be a little taken aback by someone who uses the word “retarded” to refer to a poor decision, you likely wouldn’t think twice about someone calling a peculiar behavior “crazy” or saying out loud that someone’s “OCD” is the cause for an orderly office.

Help Us Erode Stigma during Mental Health Awareness Month

With May designated as Mental Health Awareness Month in the United States, we would like to encourage you to think twice about the language you use and how it may affect those one in five people who may be your neighbors, coworkers, and friends who experience mental health issues.[fat_widget_right]

Show respect and consideration for those experiencing mental health conditions by avoiding these common stigmatizing phrases we hear in our daily conversations:

‘I’m So OCD.’

All too often people say “I’m so OCD” when referring to simple habits they may have regarding organization, such as arranging books a certain way on a bookshelf or keeping one’s own environment immaculately clean. True obsessions and compulsions can be quite debilitating, involving persistent, unwanted thoughts, rituals, and behaviors, all of which are out of a person’s control.

As many as 27% of people experience some form of obsessive-compulsive behavior. By using the term to describe tidiness, we popularize the experience and make it appear less severe than it actually can be. Next time you find yourself tempted to say someone else is being OCD or claim it as an explanation for your own behavior, consider how you might more accurately share your observation or insight.

‘I Can’t Focus; It’s My ADD.’

It’s not uncommon to hear people refer to themselves as ADHD or ADD when they are inattentive or easily distracted. Today’s high-tech world seems to be characterized by ever-shrinking attention spans, and it seems that people are always fiddling with their smart phones and jumping from one topic to another. However, this is not the same thing as attention-deficit hyperactivity.

Though these types of behaviors may be related to a lack of focus, an actual diagnosis of ADHD is far more complex.

People might casually refer to distracted behavior as ADHD or even go as far as to say that they’re ADHD when channel surfing or changing the radio station before a song finishes. Though these types of behaviors may be related to a lack of focus, an actual diagnosis of ADHD is far more complex and has less to do with boredom and more to do with genetics, neurotransmitters, and electrical activity in the brain. In fact, a major distinguishing characteristic of ADHD is impulsivity, which probably isn’t present in most cases where people erroneously claim ADHD as the source of their inattention.

‘My Ex Is Such a Psycho.’

At some point, you’ve probably heard someone refer to a past lover (or friend, or roommate) as a psycho. People typically use this phrase to refer to someone engaging in erratic or irrational behavior, which in reality is far from psychotic.

Psychosis is a serious mental health condition by which a person loses contact with reality and may experience hallucinations and delusions. An estimated 3% of people experience psychosis, which makes it far less prevalent than the many people who claim to have psychotic past lovers might indicate. Try not to downplay the seriousness of this condition by using the term frivolously.

‘The Weather Is So Bipolar Today.’

Sure, it may snow in the morning, warm up for an hour, and then snow again all afternoon, but it is impossible for the weather to literally be bipolar. Likewise, it’s highly unlikely that your friend having a few ups and downs today is actually experiencing the often debilitating symptoms of bipolar. Using the term bipolar in these contexts misrepresents the experience and can minimize the condition.

A person experiencing bipolar is likely to experience serious shifts in mood that may range from dangerously euphoric to suicidal. These drastic changes can seriously hinder one’s life if left untreated. Instead of using the term bipolar, consider describing the weather as unstable or unpredictable, and referring to your friend as being in a bad mood or having a hard time.

‘This Makes Me Want to Kill Myself.’

You fail your math exam and you exclaim in frustration, “I just want to die.” Or something else mildly unfortunate happens and you casually say, “This makes me want to kill myself.”

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States with almost 40,000 Americans dying from suicide each year. People who commit or attempt suicide do not necessarily want to die; rather, they may want to be free of pain.

If you find yourself upset with your circumstances and wanting to express your frustrations, be mindful of your word choice in this matter. It’s very likely someone in your vicinity has been touched by suicide in some way.

‘Stop Being So Paranoid.’

Paranoia is a symptom of many mental health conditions and can be detrimental to a person’s life. True paranoia can cause people to have serious trust issues and unwarranted fear and anxiety, as well as feelings of persecution and exaggerated self-importance.

When you find a friend may be worrying too much or over-analyzing something, avoid using the term paranoid and replace it with other descriptive words such as mistrusting or fearful.

‘I’m So Addicted.’

You might find yourself saying something like, “I’m so addicted to this TV show” to mean that you really enjoy it. But most likely, you are not truly addicted to it. Addiction is a serious mental health issue that can destroy lives, both of the person addicted and that person’s loved ones.

There’s a considerable difference between appreciating or enjoying something and being addicted to it. Be mindful of this distinction when you speak.

Although more than 23 million Americans experience some form of substance abuse, up to 40 million additional Americans are indirectly affected by it. These numbers do not account for non-substance addictions such as gambling, spending, or sex addiction.

There’s a considerable difference between appreciating or enjoying something and being addicted to it. A person experiencing addiction may want to stop engaging in an addictive behavior, but may feel unable to do so regardless of its continued negative consequences. Be mindful of this distinction when you speak, so as not to disparage the serious problems addiction can cause.

‘That’s Crazy/Insane/Mad/Nuts.’

It’s becoming far too common to use the word crazy and related synonyms lightly. People may think that using these terms to describe behavior that seems odd, eccentric, or strange is harmless, but it can be damaging to the self-esteem of those experiencing real mental health conditions.

The stigma alone is enough to make people feel isolated, keep them from seeking the treatment they truly need, or cause them to completely deny their symptoms altogether. But these terms, often used in a manner that belittles those who actually experience mental health issues, reinforce the dangerous stigma of mental health issues by painting them in a derogatory way.

Words Have Power; Think Before You Speak

Avoiding stigmatizing terms and phrases that cause shame, minimize experiences, and misrepresent reality can help eliminate a major obstacle to treatment. It’s not simply about being politically correct, requiring that you tiptoe around your words; the point is to simply stop and think about what you say and be mindful of how your choice of words may affect others.

If you would like to learn more about how you can raise awareness of mental health conditions and help remove stigma, check out our blog this month or visit Mental Health America for more information and resources about Mental Health Awareness Month.

References:

1. Corrigan, Patrick. (September 4, 2014). Stigma as a Barrier to Mental Health Care. Association for Psychological Science. Retrieved from: http://www.psychologicalscience.org/index.php/news/releases/stigma-as-a-barrier-to-mental-health-carhtml
2. Mental Health America. May is Mental Health Month. Retrieved from: http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/may
3. Mental Health America. Mental Health Information. Retrieved from: http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/mental-health-information
4. Schumaker, Erin. (April 17, 2015). It’s Time To Stop Using These Phrases When It Comes to Mental Illness. The Huffington Post. Retrieved from: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/04/17/mental-illness-vocabulary_n_7078984.html