Teens with Social Anxiety Benefit from Online Therapy 

When most people think of the younger generation, they think of health, energy, and a future full of unlimited possibilities. Unfortunately, life isn’t smooth sailing for every teenager. In fact, as many as 20 percent of youngsters between the ages of 12 and 18 suffer from at least one mental health disorder. 

For the purposes of this post, we’ll turn our attention to social anxiety disorder (SAD), which affects 9.1 percent of those between the ages of 13 and 18, according to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), with 1.3 percent of them developing severe conditions.  

Keep reading to learn more about what causes social anxiety in teens, some of the symptoms that might indicate the teen in your life is dealing with SAD, and how online therapy can help teens overcome social anxiety and live happier and healthier lives. 

What Causes Social Anxiety in Teens? 

Teenagers might develop social anxiety for any number of reasons. In this section, we’ll examine five of the more common ones. 

Genetic factors 

Mental health conditions are often influenced by hereditary factors. If you’re a teen whose parents or relatives have suffered from social anxiety at one point or another, there’s a higher chance that you will develop SAD. Similarly, if you’re a parent who’s dealt with social anxiety or has family members who have, your teenager might be more susceptible to SAD. 

Social media 

Most of us grew up in a world where social media platforms didn’t even exist. On the flip side, teens today essentially have grown up in a world where social media is pervasive. While social media can connect us with people from all over the world, it can also be quite divisive. In fact, research suggests that teens getting fewer “likes” on platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat can cause anxiety. 

Embarrassing or bad experiences 

Teenagers who are bullied, rejected by someone they ask out, or experience an embarrassing situation — like not being able to do pull-ups in gym class or doing poorly on an exam and getting made fun of — might develop social anxiety.  

Low self-esteem 

When teenagers aren’t comfortable with themselves, they are more likely to develop social anxiety. For example, an individual might not be fully confident in their appearance; maybe they think they should lose weight, maybe they aren’t comfortable with their own looks, or maybe they have a physical condition that gives them anxiety (e.g., a birthmark on their face or a teenager who’s already going bald). 

Personality 

Teenagers might be more prone to developing social anxiety due to innate personality traits. For example, introverted individuals who are shy might be anxious about the prospect of giving a public speech, going to a social event, or even ringing up a customer as a cashier at a part-time job.  

Now that you have a better idea of the reasons teens might develop social anxiety disorder, let’s turn our attention to some telltale signs that could indicate the teenager in your life is indeed suffering from the condition. 

How to Recognize Teens with Social Anxiety 

Recognizing that a teenager in your life is dealing with social anxiety requires that you pay attention and know what to look for. In this section, we’ll examine some of the signs that might indicate a teen is experiencing SAD across three distinct categories. 

Behavior 

Since it makes them feel hopeless, teens experiencing social anxiety tend to be withdrawn. They’re quiet, they keep to themselves, and they’re generally isolated from everyone else. At the same time, they lack confidence, which comes across as a lack of eye contact, the inability to speak loudly, and the displaying of nervous habits. 

School and work 

If your teen’s school grades have taken a turn for the worse, they don’t actively participate in class, and they don’t get involved with any extra-curricular activities, they might be experiencing social anxiety. Similarly, if a teen has held a steady job where they have to deal with people often (e.g., a barista at a coffee shop) and all of a sudden quits for no discernible reason, they might be experiencing SAD. 

Social life 

Does the teenager have few friends? Is he or she eager to go to parties and social events or do they try to avoid such festivities at all costs? Does the teen speak confidently, make eye contact, and share information about themselves (e.g., their hobbies and what makes them tick?). The less social a teen is, the more likely it is that they’re experiencing social anxiety disorder. 

The good news is that — while social anxiety can seem crippling in the moment — all hope is not lost. By engaging the services of a professional therapist in an online setting, teens can begin the healing process, improve their social skills, and ultimately lead more fulfilling lives. 

Helping Teens with Social Anxiety with Online Therapy 

Since people who experience social anxiety don’t like social situations, it follows that 36 percent of Americans who suffer from SAD wait at least 10 years before seeking help. While that might be understandable, it’s certainly not the healthiest approach to dealing with SAD. 

Luckily, in recent years, technology has evolved considerably, and online therapy sessions are easier to facilitate than ever before. Thanks to the pandemic, the practice of engaging with therapists in online sessions has become increasingly mainstream — which means more and more therapists are comfortable working with clients remotely.  

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the most common treatments for social anxiety. And according to a recent study, moving CBT therapy sessions online for teens suffering from social anxiety proved effective at reducing anxiety, stress, and depression.  

Teens who participated in the study were found to have less brain activity in their amygdala, a part of our brain associated with memory, emotional regulation, and decision-making. They were also found to have reduced symptoms of social anxiety.  

If you’re a teenager who’s dealing with social anxiety — or you’re the parent or guardian of a teen who you suspect might be — booking an online session with a qualified therapist can be a game-changing decision. With a talented therapist and a teen who’s committed to overcoming social anxiety working together, anything is possible. 

When you’re ready to begin the healing process, start searching for a mental health professional who specializes in working with teenagers today. Once you search your area, filter your results by therapists who work with Teens or Children. You can even add the Common Specialties>All other issues>Social Anxiety/Phobia filter to further focus your search for a therapist. 

Here’s to overcoming social anxiety and living your best life — or helping your teen live theirs! 

by Joel Schmidt, MA, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, in Tampa, FL

Overcoming Health Anxiety: Things You Should Stop Doing (and Some You Should Start)

Are you constantly worried about your health? Does even the slightest new and unusual bodily sensation or symptom have you running to the doctor, sure that it must be something serious? Are you often worried that, even though you’re being told by medical professionals that everything is okay, something undetected and undiagnosed is growing inside of you and slowly killing you? Do you find yourself checking stuff a lot — such as your heart rate or different parts of your body — looking for reassurance that nothing is wrong? Are you spending a good deal of time googling symptoms and researching medical conditions that you may or may not have? If so, you’re probably dealing with disordered health anxiety: a health-focused anxiety that can cause a good deal of distress and an endless cycle of worry.

Although it’s never a bad idea to check in with the doctor every so often (get that annual physical!) or to do health screenings as recommended, excessive checking and reassurance-seeking may be making your anxiety worse instead of providing the much-desired comfort you’re hoping to gain from some of your behaviors.

What to Stop Doing

Here are four things you should stop doing (or at least do less of) if you have health anxiety, followed by some healthier ways of coping.

1. Stop googling symptoms.

We google symptoms to seek reassurance, not realizing that this kind of reassurance-seeking is actually increasing and reinforcing our anxiety.

2. Stop obsessing over your fitness watch.

If you have a Fitbit, Apple watch, or any other health tracking wrist device, ditch it if you find yourself constantly checking different measures such as your heart rate, heart rate variability, or ECG results. Like googling symptoms, this sort of behavior keeps us too internally focused and increases the anxiety surrounding health — and only provides very short-term comfort and reassurance.

3. Pay attention to your other checking and reassurance-seeking behaviors and limit them also.

Common checking behaviors include checking the mirror for discoloration of the skin or eyes, looking for new moles or bumps, weighing in or measuring different parts of the body, monitoring your pulse or blood pressure, asking family members or health professionals about your symptoms, and posting questions online for opinions about the health issues you have or suspect you have. Being aware of your body and checking for anything out of the ordinary can be smart and healthy when done as the medical community recommends, but the kind of checking that often comes along with health anxiety is generally excessive and unnecessary.

4. Stop interpreting every new and unusual bodily symptom as a sign of danger.

Our bodies do weird things. Everyone experiences odd pains and sensations every once in a while. It’s normal, and they usually come and go. The average person experiences these things as well but isn’t as internally focused and doesn’t pay the same level of attention to them.

It’s not easy to stop doing these things. It will be uncomfortable, especially at first. What you’ll likely find over time, though, is that stopping these things will liberate you from the prison that health anxiety can create that prevents you from living your life fully.

What to Start Doing

It’s best to replace old habits with new ones. Here are some things you should do instead of the four behaviors above.

1. Check in with your doctor every once in a while.

Get to the doctor to rule out any true medical concerns if you’ve been avoiding this, get your annual physical, do the recommended screenings, and follow through on your doctor’s recommendations. The key here, though, is to follow what your doctor recommends and not what your anxiety dictates. Certainly seek medical help if you suspect something serious, but try to recognize when what you’re doing is just looking for short-term relief and reassurance. The comfort is fleeting and soon enough you’ll be on to the next thing.

2. Talk to a therapist.

Find a therapist that specializes in anxiety disorders – specifically one with experience working with health anxiety. A therapist can help you better understand your health anxiety and teach you some healthier coping mechanisms for dealing with it. They’ll also help you gain insight about how you got here and help you better recognize the thoughts and behaviors that are contributing to your anxiety. Overcoming health anxiety takes work, but a therapist can help you make strides.

3. Recognize that some health anxiety is normal.

As humans, we all have some worry and concern surrounding our health and well-being. When we are struggling with health anxiety, though, our threat detection system is just a little more heightened than it needs to be. This can lead to nonstop false alarms.

4. Be open to the idea of tolerating and accepting a certain amount of uncertainty.

The only thing that would likely bring your health anxiety to zero would be knowing that your risk of experiencing future health-related issues is zero — and that’s just not going to happen. As you start to accept and tolerate some risk above zero, you’ll find that you also start to shift out of anxious thinking and into the kind of life you really want to live.

5. Remember how many times you’ve been wrong about your anxious thoughts.

“What ifs” are at the core of health anxiety — or any other anxiety for that matter. “What if this headache is a tumor growing in my brain?” “What if this stomachache is a sign of something really serious?” “What if this pain in my leg is a deadly blood clot?” How many times have you found yourself having these anxious thoughts and questions? And how many times have you been wrong about those worst-case assumptions? Since you’re reading this, you’ve probably been wrong about most, if not all of them. Let that fact sink in.

6. Shift your focus outward.

One of the hallmarks of health anxiety is an overly strong internal focus. When you notice yourself scanning your body or engaging with and entertaining anxious thoughts, try to shift from an internal to a more outward focus. Find something to do. Call a friend, go for a walk, read a book, and get engaged with the world.

Overcoming Health Anxiety

Living with health anxiety can feel like a rollercoaster. Following this advice will help you get off that ride and free you up to enjoy and make the most of your life. Connect with a therapist who understands what you’re dealing with and start making progress.

by Jennifer Leff, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, in New York, NY
Co-Chair, Behind the Scenes Mental Health/Suicide Prevention Initiative Steering Committee

What’s Going On Behind the Scenes? Mental Health and the Entertainment Industry

No doubt, the pandemic has impacted most industries. However, the entertainment industry was the first to shut down and will be the last to fully re-open. Entertainment industry workers, specifically those behind the scenes, have long experienced mental health challenges and stereotypically, haven’t easily accessed services. The pandemic has only further shed a light on individuals in the entertainment industry, and with this, a strong call for mental health professionals who are equipped to provide support and tailor their clinical practices for those working behind the scenes.

The Need

According to NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Health), one in five adults will experience or has experienced a mental health struggle. In 2019, this individual represented 19.1% of U.S. adults – that is to say about 47.6 million living with a mental illness. Now, triple that number. Individuals working in the entertainment industry — actors, musicians, stage production, roadies — those in front of and behind the set/stage — are approximately three times more likely to struggle with mental health challenges. Moreover, there is a disproportionate struggle with substance misuse in this population. While Arts and Entertainment can transcend emotions and benefit our well-being, it’s somewhat ironic that production and tech workers — the ones we don’t see — are, in fact, suffering. Behind the Scenes, a nonprofit foundation that provides support to entertainment technology professionals, created the Mental Health and Suicide Prevention Initiative to support entertainment industry workers and promote mental health and psychological safety.

The Unique Pressures of Technical Workers

The rigors and unique stressors of entertainment industry work have a negative impact on well-being and mental health. Common industry threads include financial instability, irregular hours, transient work and its impact on relationships, and lack of permanency. Bullying, harassment, and intimidation can occur, and leaders often don’t know how to provide support. This can make people even more vulnerable. It’s also not uncommon for those working in the entertainment industry to lack insurance that covers behavioral health costs.

We Need Therapists Who Get It

It is vitally important to have a cadre of therapists who are familiar with the industry, cognizant of how anxiety, depression, and PTSD are triggered in these workplaces, and willing to adjust their practices to meet the needs of this population (for example, by incorporating sliding scales). Behind the Scenes is passionate about helping industry workers and their families access support and find mental health professionals who get it — and we’re excited to partner with GoodTherapy to help make those connections.

The old adage “the show must go on” is exactly that — old. The show can’t go on if a show’s production — sound, lighting, costume design, and more —  comes to a halt. We’ve seen an uptick in the entertainment industry talking about mental health and wellness; the pandemic has further fueled this discussion. If we continue this conversation and this cultural shift in the way we view mental health, the show can go on in a way that is healthy and sustainable for all.

Mental Health Trumps Reputation

If you go behind the scenes, “reputation” is ubiquitous. Industry workers don’t want to jeopardize their reputation or perceived reliability should they take time off or admit to needing support. It’s okay to not be okay, and it’s human to need help.

Let’s not wait for Suicide Prevention Week or Mental Health Month to highlight mental health or encourage permission to address mental health needs. Check in with friends and colleagues. Next time you’re watching TV, enjoying a music festival, or sitting in a theater audience, think of the rigger or the lighting tech and recognize their work and challenges. If you’re in the industry, know you’re not alone. Support is available for you.

Ready to find a therapist who gets it? Search for therapists near you, then filter your results by Industries & Communities Served > Entertainment Industry.

by Dr. Denise Renye, Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Sex Therapist, PsyD, MA, MEd, in San Francisco, CA

How to Cope with Anxiety If You Can’t Go to Therapy

I spoke with a friend of a friend recently who said he copes with anxiety solely through medication because that’s all he’s been exposed to. It got me thinking about how some people don’t know what else to try for anxiety other than pharmacological interventions because they may not have considered therapy as an option. And even many people who have considered therapy may not be able to afford it. Learning how to cope with anxiety in healthy ways can make such a difference.

This is quite the conundrum because anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the US, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA). Anxiety affects 40 million adults in the U.S. ages 18 and older —  about 18.1% of the population. Also, anxiety disorders are highly treatable, but only 36.9% of people receive treatment.

Therapy and medication are two ways to manage treatment, but they’re not the only ways. What follows are strategies to cope with anxiety without going to therapy or taking drugs.

7 Non-Pharmacological Strategies for Anxiety

1. Exercise

You knew this one was coming, didn’t you? Anxiety is associated with energy; it’s why we have expressions like “fidgeting nervously,” or “a nervous tic.” Exercise is an outlet for that anxious energy. In addition, there are numerous studies that show exercise and regular activity are beneficial for anxiety, meaning exercise reduces it.

2. Change Your Diet

Did you know 95% of your serotonin receptors reside in your gut? It stands to reason then what you feed your gut affects your mood. That’s true and in fact, a 2016 study found healthy eating can alleviate anxiety. Is your diet high in processed foods such as frozen dinners, shelf-stable cookies, and potato chips? If so, those foods could be exacerbating your anxiety. What happens if you try eating differently?

3. Journaling

It’s not uncommon for a person to experience swirling thoughts when they’re anxious. Thinking about the future in a negative way can promote anxiety such as repeating to yourself: “I don’t look good in pictures,” “No one will come to my party,” “Everyone hates me,” or “What if I lose my job?” Writing those thoughts down, letting all your worst fears become expressed, can help release them from your brain and soothe the anxious parts of yourself. This is also helpful if you experience insomnia that may stem from anxiety.

4. Breathing

It seems so simple because we breathe all day long, but conscious breath can go a long way in alleviating anxiety. I’m a proponent of breathing into your belly, alternate nostril breathing, and circular breathing. I also have a free, guided, breathwork meditation. To start, set a timer for 30 seconds (and work up to three minutes) and see how you feel after breathing with intention and awareness. What I love about breathwork is it encourages a pause. Many of us are conditioned to fear a pause, to fear silence. With anxiety, your brain can run off without you, imagining ten steps into the future. Pausing, sitting in silence, brings your brain back to where your feet are, here, in this present moment. Noticing the present moment, being with the pause, the silence, you may notice things aren’t as terrible as they first seemed.

5. Yoga & Meditation

There are numerous kinds of yoga and meditation in the world, but nearly all of them help with anxiety. Experiment with different kinds until you found one that works for you. Yoga and meditation incorporate many of the characteristics I listed above: pausing, breathwork, and focusing the mind.

6. Spirituality

I view a spiritual practice as complementary to therapy and depth coaching because it can help provide access to the internal world. Spirituality can be defined simply as a sense of connection to something greater than yourself and can offer meaning as well as purpose in your life. Cultivating a meaningful connection with something bigger than yourself just may result in emotions such as peace, awe, and contentment. In other words, a spiritual practice — tailor-made for you — can help you cope with anxiety.

7. EFT/Tapping

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), also known as tapping, combines cognitive therapies with acupressure for the treatment of psychological distress. A 2016 study found EFT demonstrated a significant decrease in anxiety scores, even when accounting for the effect size of control treatment. More recently, in 2019, researchers found EFT helps physiologically, meaning not only did study participants self-report that they felt better, but their bodies also showed a decrease in resting heart rate and blood pressure and an altering of cortisol levels.

Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA)

Sometimes it’s really hard to manage anxiety on your own and you just may need support. If money is an issue, Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) meetings are a great option. The meeting is open to not only children raised in alcoholic homes, but anyone raised in a dysfunctional environment. The program functions like other 12-step groups in that members share for a limited time and there’s a sponsor or fellow traveler to help a person through the steps. That means there’s a community of people to support you as you learn how to cope with anxiety. However, what’s unique about ACA is that it also addresses post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and has literature devoted to nurturing an inner loving parent. Creating a strong, secure, attachment figure within yourself could help calm anxious parts of yourself, especially if the anxiety is arising from your inner child.

If you’re struggling with anxiety, you don’t have to suffer through it. Anxiety is treatable with a multitude of drugs, therapy, and any of the methods I mentioned above. If one method doesn’t work, try another. And try it for some time as it may take a while. Just know, relief is possible. Start your search for a therapist today.

References

Anderson, Elizabeth; Shivakumar, Geetha. “Effects of Exercise and Physical Activity on Anxiety.” Front Psychiatry. 2013;4:27. doi: 10.3389/fpsyt.2013.00027

Anxiety and Depression Association of America. “Facts and Statistics.” https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/facts-statistics, accessed November 18, 2021.

Bach, Donna; Groesbeck, Gary; Stapleton, Peta; et al. Clinical EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) Improves Multiple Physiological Markers of Health. J Evid Based Integr Med. 2019;24:2515690X18823691. doi:10.1177/2515690X18823691

Carpenter, Dr. Siri. “That Gut Feeling.” American Psychological Association. September 2012; 43(8): 50. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/09/gut-feeling

Clond, Morgan. “Emotional Freedom Techniques for Anxiety: A Systematic Review With Meta-analysis.” J Nerv Ment Dis. 2016;204(5):388-395. doi: 10.1097/NMD.0000000000000483.

Null, Gary; Pennesi, Luanne; Feldman, Martin. “Nutrition and Lifestyle Intervention on Mood and Neurological Disorders.” J Evid Based Complementary Altern Med. 2017 Jan;22(1):68-74. doi: 10.1177/2156587216637539.

Dealing with the Trauma of Giving Birth 

For many new mothers, giving birth is one of the most exciting times in life. After all, you’re bringing a new tiny human into the world — one that you love more than pretty much everyone else. You can’t wait to meet the little guy or gal. 

In the ideal world, giving birth would be a seamless, painless, uplifting experience. Everything would go according to your birth plan, and you’d meet your bundle of joy quickly, without any hiccups along the way. 

Unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen — quite the contrary. According to a recent study, as many as 45 percent of new mothers experience birth trauma.  

What Is a Traumatic Birth Experience? 

A traumatic birth experience occurs when a new mother experiences discomfort or distress during the process of giving birth. Since every woman is unique, each new mother may experience trauma differently. 

Contrary to what the term might suggest, a traumatic birth experience doesn’t necessarily stem from a physical birthing complication (e.g., a uterine inversion or an emergency C-section).  

In many cases, the trauma can be psychological (e.g., stressing out over giving birth in a hospital during COVID-19). After all, the birthing experience can be incredibly stressful and physically exhausting — even when everything goes to plan.  

The Physical and Emotional Effects of a Traumatic Birth 

After a traumatic birth, new mothers have to deal with physical and psychological pain. 

Physical trauma 

All new mothers are physically exhausted after giving birth. Since most muscles strain during contractions, it’s perfectly normal to be sore throughout the body after giving birth. Of course, there’s also vaginal bleeding and vaginal soreness to deal with. On top of this, hormones fluctuate considerably, making new mothers perhaps more emotional than normal.  

While every new mother is different, it generally takes between six and eight weeks for the body to recover after giving birth. 

Psychological trauma 

In addition to the physical trauma that new mothers have to deal with, many women also experience psychological issues after giving birth. 

Postpartum depression 

As many as one in seven new mothers develop postpartum depression after giving birth. When this happens, women can feel hopeless, sad, and isolated. These feelings often translate into a decreased appetite, loss of sex drive, and lack of appetite, among other negative outcomes. On top of this, women dealing with postpartum depression may also struggle to bond with their newborns. 

While exceedingly rare, some new mothers develop a condition called postpartum psychosis, which can lead to dangerous thoughts and behaviors. If you or someone you know who’s recently given birth is dealing with hallucinations, paranoia, or delusions, seek medical help immediately. 

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) 

Depending on how bad the birthing experience is, some mothers can develop PTSD. One study found that mothers who were less educated, had less prenatal healthcare, and gave birth prematurely were most likely to be diagnosed with PTSD. Additionally, research also suggests that new mothers who’ve suffered from depression and those who were victims of childhood sexual abuse and domestic violence are also more likely to develop PTSD. 

In addition to affecting a new mother’s well-being, PTSD can also damage romantic relationships. Women who’ve had a traumatic birth report a lack of sex and arguments with their significant other over the birth itself, among other things. 

Now that you have a better idea of what a traumatic birth is and what a new mother might experience in the aftermath of one, let’s turn our attention to the most important piece of the puzzle: what women can do to overcome these feelings and live their best lives. 

Postpartum Healing: How to Overcome a Traumatic Birth Experience 

From the outset, a traumatic birth experience can seem downright devastating. But there are some things you can do to overcome the trauma.  

It may take time, to be sure. But as long as you’re dedicated to improving your headspace and becoming the mom you’ve always been destined to be, you will get through this challenge before you know it. Here are some ways to make that happen.

1. Think about your experience

While you might be tempted to block your trauma out of your mind, that pain will always exist below the surface unless you confront it head-on. And that starts with being upfront with yourself. Spend time thinking about what you’ve been through and try to understand exactly why you feel the way you do. Whenever you get a moment, you might want to try journaling to really clear your mind. 

Once you’ve processed your thoughts, it’s time to share them with those closest to you — your partner, your family, and your friends. Don’t share anything more than you’re comfortable with. But the sooner you can connect with someone else about what you’re going through, the faster the weight will be off your shoulders.

2. Spend time with your new child

It’s not at all uncommon for new mothers to feel disconnected from their babies after a traumatic birth. While you might not be able to prevent those feelings from happening, you can proactively try to address the issue by making a point to spend more time with your newborn. Easing into skin-to-skin contact and breastfeeding when you’re comfortable can help you get through this difficult time. 

3. Talk with a professional about your traumatic birth

At the end of the day, you need to know that you don’t have to deal with this entire situation on your own. While talking with your friends, family, and partner about your emotions and what’s going through your mind can be helpful, you may be best off speaking to a neutral third party when the going gets really tough after giving birth. 

After all, emotional healing when you have a tiny new human in your life can be hard — even if you aren’t experiencing postpartum depression. Speaking with a professional therapist who specializes in treating new mothers can make all the difference in the world. 

If you’re struggling after a traumatic birth experience, reach out to a therapist today to get the help you need to adjust to this huge life change. 

Millions upon millions of Americans see their families during the holiday season. While a lot of us look forward to taking time off from work and spending quality time with our loved ones, just as many of us dread the holidays because we have to spend time with them. 

“Although holidays are often times of connection, joy, gratitude, friendship, and love, they can sometimes be times of frustration, fear, loneliness, and exhaustion,” explains Kendall Coffman, MS, a marriage and family therapist.  

In order to ensure your holidays are as enjoyable as possible, you need to understand some of the factors that cause family members to reach their wit’s end during the holiday season. Once you do, you can begin figuring out how to set boundaries with family and learn about some tactics you can use to navigate the holidays smoothly. 

Surviving the Holidays: Why People Feel Uncomfortable at Family Gatherings 

A recent survey found that — while 81 percent of Americans plan to see family members during the holiday season — just 55 percent were actually looking forward to it. 

In large part, this is due to the fact that families tend to argue over things like politics and religion during holiday dinners — particularly when there are copious amounts of adult beverages involved. 

But that’s not the only reason. That same study found that Americans don’t like seeing family during the holidays because 

• They don’t like sleeping on the floor or on the couch 
• They don’t want to be packed into a small space with tons of people 
• They wouldn’t be able to get intimate with their partner in their family member’s house 
• They wouldn’t be able to watch their favorite TV shows 

• They don’t like the food their family serves 
• They wouldn’t be able to walk around in their underwear 
• They’d have to share a room with a relative 

Of course, we’re still in the middle of a pandemic, which adds another layer of complexity into an already difficult time of the year. 

Now that you have a better idea of some of the main drivers of argumentative behavior at family gatherings, let’s turn our attention to what you can do to reduce the chances family members are at each other’s throats this holiday season. 

How to Establish Boundaries with Family 

For clinical psychologist Paul Greene, PhD, the holidays are the perfect time to start thinking about what kinds of behaviors are unacceptable and what your family can do to create workable boundaries. 

“Gathering with family for any of the holiday rituals is a good opportunity to reflect with a 360-degree perspective for discovering acceptable and enforceable boundaries,” Dr. Greene says. 

Since every family is different, you’ll need to ask yourself and at least some of your family members a series of questions to outline what your family’s boundaries might be. According to Dr. Greene, these are some of the questions you should ask: 

• Why are you gathering? 
• Which members of the family are most likely to cause trouble? 
• What are some of the pitfalls your family has encountered in the past? 
• What does the vision for a more acceptable gathering look like? 

Once you’ve come up with agreeable answers, you can then start to define the boundaries themselves. For example, boundaries with family might include no yelling, no political discussion, and no abusive behaviors. 

Whatever your family ultimately decides, by preparing ahead of time about the coming events, you will improve the odds for a better holiday, Dr. Greene says. At the same time, this will help you resolve issues before your family gathers so that fences are mended ahead of time. 

By now, you have a better understanding of some of the drivers of family grief during the holiday season as well as the way setting boundaries can help mitigate some of them. In the next section, we’ll explore some other tactics that can save you as you approach your next family gathering. 

What You Can Do to Navigate the Holidays Smoothly 

Other than outlining boundaries and doing everything you can to adhere toand enforce them, here are some additional tactics to keep in mind that can help you have productive and enjoyable family gatherings.

1. Set realistic expectations

According to Paul W. Anderson, PhD, who’s a licensed psychologist, it’s important for folks to set realistic expectations for the holidays. 

“In America, the holiday period is the emotional hurricane season,” Dr. Anderson says. “The most realistic expectation I offer people is to just get through the season with minimal ensnarement in family drama. This is not the time to pursue good feelings. It’s the time to survive, so later on you can find yourself in one piece.” 

If yours is a particularly politically divided family, prepare for the likelihood that someone will invariably start yapping about politics — even if your family has set a boundary of “no political discussions.” 

2. Don’t over-indulge

It’s no secret that Americans like to imbibe during the holidays. Of course, when people drink too much, they’re much more likely to get into arguments with their family members. 

If you can get through the holidays without too many spirits, there’s an easy fix: do as much as you can to abstain. 

“Drink enough but not too much alcohol,” Dr. Greene says. “That may mean zero or near-zero.” 

Unfortunately, this might not prevent your eccentric uncle from tossing them back and starting an argument about Ross Perot’s role in the 1992 U.S. presidential election. But if you keep your alcohol intake in check, you can at least rest comfortably knowing you won’t be making it worse.

3. Understand that it won’t last forever

When you’re in the middle of a difficult and tense family gathering, it may feel as though time is grinding to a halt. Even though the night might seem to stretch on forever, you need to remind yourself that this too shall pass, and that — eventually — you or your family will be headed back home. 

If you find yourself struggling during a particularly tense moment, Dr. Greene recommends staying patient by focusing on your breathing. 

“Practice counting to 10 before speaking, then breathe deeply, two seconds in and four seconds out,” he says. “Repeat as needed.”

4. Make your own rules

At the end of the day, there’s no reason any of us have to put ourselves into toxic situations just for the sake of it. This is part of the reason why many people are opting to spend holidays with their “chosen family” — i.e., their very close friends. 

“You are allowed to not invite someone to the party because they threaten your identity,” Coffman says. “You have permission to make your own rules this holiday.” 

At the same time, it’s also okay to get along with family members — and even love them — although they might disagree with you on various important topics. 

“You are also allowed to lean into fun, play, and excitement. You are allowed to love a family member who has different views than you,” Coffman concludes. “You get to decide what works best in your life this holiday. Protect your peace.” 

Getting Ready for Your Next Family Gathering 

Are you anticipating exceptionally difficult family gatherings this holiday season? If so, remember that you don’t have to go into the holidays on your own.  

If you need some help getting ready for the holidays, a therapist can help you get in the right frame of mind before the big days arrive. Start your search for the perfect therapist today.

 

Dr. Aaron T. Beck: The Father of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy 

On Monday, Nov. 1, the world lost an incredible psychiatrist when Dr. Aaron T. Beck, the aptly named “father of cognitive behavioral therapy” who pioneered the field and taught at the University of Pennsylvania and other colleges, died peacefully in his sleep at the impressive age of 100.  

Throughout his storied career, Dr. Beck earned many awards, including the prestigious Gustave O. Lienhard Award from the Institute of Medicine. He also co-authored 25 books and upwards of 600 articles over the years and, in 2017, was named the fourth most influential physician over the last century. 

In 1994, Dr. Beck, along with his daughter Dr. Judith Beck, co-founded the Beck Institute, a nonprofit organization committed to helping people around the world live more fulfilling lives through the promise of cognitive behavioral therapy, also known as CBT. 

What Is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? 

At a very basic level, CBT is a talking therapy that’s all about helping people solve their problems by understanding how the way they think about the situation at hand influences how they respond to it. 

For example, if a small business owner who runs a tight ship gets a letter from the IRS and immediately starts thinking about the worst-case scenario, chances are they will be stressed out and respond irrationally to the circumstances — much to the chagrin of those in their lives.  

By learning that the way they mentally interpret an event influences how they’ll physically respond to it, the small business owner might use CBT to retrain how they react to letters from the IRS and remind themselves to take a deep breath the next time one invariably ends up in their mailbox. 

According to Dr. Beck, the way we think about issues can be established in childhood. And if we think about issues the wrong way, these cognitive errors could lead to problems down the road.  

By enrolling in CBT sessions, Dr. Beck believed people could unlearn these unproductive ways of thinking while developing healthier responses to unwelcomed situations. Rather than stumbling into a tricky situation and feeling overwhelmed, people can learn to break down big problems into smaller manageable parts, making it that much easier to respond to them in a calm, cool, and collected manner. 

Why Is Cognitive Therapy Important? 

There’s not much any of us can completely control in this world. That said, we do have control over how we think about the world and our experience in it. This is why CBT can be particularly helpful — and why Dr. Beck’s daughter, Dr. Judith Beck, is continuing her father’s work at the Beck Institute. 

With that in mind, let’s take a look at some of the main reasons therapists and their clients find CBT to be particularly attractive. 

It’s generally risk-free 

While clients might deal with uncomfortable emotions and sentiments during CBT sessions, this is more or less par for the course when it comes to any form of therapy. Aside from crying, getting upset, and otherwise feeling awkward, there’s very little risk when patients decide to use CBT to confront the problems they’re facing. 

That said, it’s important to remember that CBT is not a quick fix for behavioral and mental health issues. While it can be particularly helpful for many patients, it’s not the right treatment for everyone, e.g., those with complex mental health needs. 

It can help people overcome serious trauma 

Ultimately, the whole point of therapy is to help people become the best versions of themselves possible — and this is an area where CBT shines. By helping clients reframe how they think about issues, it’s possible to help them overcome all sorts of issues, including stress, anxiety, depression, and even more serious traumas, like sexual abuse and physical abuse. 

It produces quick results 

Whereas some approaches to therapy might take patients months or even years to overcome the issues they’re facing, CBT can deliver results quickly — in as fast as five sessions. This is attractive to both clients who want to solve their problems as quickly as they can and therapists who want nothing more than to improve their patients’ lives; the sooner that happens, the better. 

How CBT Changed the World 

At the end of the day, all of us see the world through a distorted lens, at least every now and again. Thanks to Dr. Beck’s innovative work in the realm of CBT, the stigma around mental health has perhaps faded at least a bit, as it made therapy more approachable to pretty much everyone. 

While the world is no doubt a little less bright due to Dr. Beck’s passing, we can take comfort in the fact that his work will live on through the Beck Institute — and that CBT will continue to evolve to provide more help to even more people who need it. 

To continue your learning, read more about the development of psychotherapy and our understanding of mental health here. Interested in CBT for yourself? Search for therapists near you and filter your results by Type of Therapy > Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). 

Finding Your Mental Health Niche 

After years of hard work, your efforts have finally paid off: You’re licensed as a therapist, you’ve opened your own private practice, and you’re ready to help clients overcome the issues they’re facing and become the best versions of themselves. That’s fantastic news! 

That said, treating clients is only half the battle. You have a business to run, after all. And that means you need to attract enough clients to earn a living and keep the lights on. 

While you might be tempted to accept any client that comes your way because you know you can help all of them, you may find that it’s easier to sustain and grow your practice when you specialize in a certain niche.  

Why Choose a Therapy Niche? 

From the outset, you might think that picking a mental health niche doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. After all, why not treat as many clients as you possibly can? 

From improving client outcomes and making your practice easier to discover online to making your own work more enjoyable, there are plenty of reasons to focus on a specific niche. 

Provide the best care possible 

As a therapist, you’re no doubt focused on helping as many people as you can become the best versions of themselves possible. That said, there are almost certainly areas of care that are most interesting or most relatable to you — and those that you’re most skilled and knowledgeable in. By focusing on a niche, you can increase the chances you attract the ideal clients for your practice — the ones you can help get through their issues the most. 

Increase SEO rankings 

Many clients seeking therapists search for specific credentials. For example, someone who was abused as a child will likely want to engage therapists who are experienced in that particular area of focus. To this end, they will likely search a keyword like “therapists for sexual abuse.” 

By zeroing in on a niche area, you can increase your discoverability online, making it easier for would-be clients to find you — and improving the likelihood you onboard more clients through relatively straightforward marketing efforts. This, in turn, can help you build a more resilient practice. 

Enjoy your job more 

Let’s face it: Even if you love your job as a therapist, there are likely certain topics that aren’t the most appealing to you and certain traumas that you’d prefer to avoid if possible. When you find a niche that excites you, work becomes substantially more enjoyable, and you wake up eager to help all of your clients every day. 

Now that you have a better idea of some of the benefits that come with choosing a mental health niche for your practice, let’s take a look at some options you can consider. 

Mental Health Niche Options 

When it boils down to it, there’s no shortage of different niches your practice can focus on. Some of these include exclusively providing therapy to specific groups: 

• Children 
• Couples 
• Seniors 
• Survivors of abuse 
• Survivors of incest 
• LGBTQ+ individuals
• Transgender individuals specifically  
• Individuals or couples with neurodiversity  
• People experiencing or recovering from addiction 
• Racial or ethnic minorities 
• People who have immigrated to your country 
• People living with chronic or terminal illness People with personality disorders 
• People with eating disorders 
• Individuals living with disability  
• People experiencing infertility  
• Individuals who work in a certain industry or have certain professional responsibilities (such as the entertainment industry, executives, or first responders) 

Did you know that we now offer a way for you to indicate you work with particular communities or industry professionals under “Industries & Communities Served?” If you haven’t updated your profile recently, do so now and see if there is anything you can add there. It’s another way for potential clients to find you. Don’t have a profile with GoodTherapy? Check out our membership options.

Specializing in a niche could also have more to do with your modalities than who your clients are. Some people start their search for a therapist with a specific therapy model, like brainspotting, play therapy, or the Gottman method, in mind. By training in a specific modality beyond what you learned in graduate school, you can open up a world of possibility for your practice. 

Of course, you can also combine these elements — specific client populations and specific modalities — to craft the mental health niche that works best for you.  

These ideas are by no means comprehensive. But they should get you thinking in the right direction when it comes to choosing a mental health niche. 

Of course, you can’t just snap your fingers and decide to pursue any of these niches. You need to think long and hard about the niche you’re going to ultimately target so you can make the best decision for your clients and your career. 

How Should I Decide My Mental Health Niche? 

As you begin narrowing down the focus of your practice, here are some tips to keep in mind to increase the chances you make the best decision. 

Make sure it makes sense to specialize in one niche 

First things first: There’s no rule that says you have to focus on one mental health niche. In fact, there are many reasons why you might decide to run a more general therapy practice. For example, you might prefer dealing with a client base that is going through a wider variety of issues just to keep conversations fresh and different. Or, you might live in a rural area that doesn’t have many options for therapy. In either scenario, it may make more sense to operate as a general therapist. 

Pick something that interests you 

If you’re sold on targeting a mental health niche, research your options and think long and hard about what topics interest you on the deepest level. Not only will picking something that interests you make your job more enjoyable, it will also help you become the best therapist you can be because you’ll be actively engaged with each client instead of just going through the motions. When you truly like what you do every day, you’re much less likely to get burned out. 

See how many competing practices exist in your area  

For argument’s sake, let’s imagine that you’re thinking about offering therapy to people experiencing or recovering from substance addiction. Before you call it a day, do some research to see whether there are competing practices in your area. If a quick Google search reveals 10 therapists targeting the same niche within driving distance of you, you might want to reassess your options and pick a niche with less competition. 

Understand things aren’t set in stone 

Just because you orient your practice toward a specific niche doesn’t mean you can’t see clients outside that are going through different issues. After all, this is your practice we’re talking about here. It’s up to you to determine which clients to take on — and how narrow your niche should be. For example, you might decide to spend most of your time talking with victims of domestic violence. But you could still opt to see sexual assault victims on top of that. 

Ready to learn more about choosing a niche for your practice?  

Take a look at our CE course, How to Create a Hyper-Niche for Your Therapy Practice.  

Premium and Pro members with GoodTherapy have unlimited access to our CE program. If you’re new to GoodTherapy, check out our a la carte and CE-only subscription options here.  

 

by Nicole Urdang, MS, NCC, DHM, LMHC, in Buffalo, New York

Maiden, Mother & Crone Archetypes for Mental Health

You don’t have to be a neopaganist to appreciate the beauty of the ancient archetypes of Maiden, Mother, and Crone. Each life phase has its own role and responsibilities, and each is valued equally.

An Overview

The Maiden

The innocent and energetic maiden explores life with young eyes. It’s a time of firsts: first period, love interest, dreams, and passions. This age is marked by curiosity about almost everything. It’s a time of discovery, early exploration of the self, and choosing initial life paths.

The Mother

The mother archetype does not just refer to women who give birth or choose to adopt. This age is marked by a deepening awareness of maternal, loving, giving, feminine energy. This nurturing can appear in creative endeavors, parenting, social connections, and learning. It has a vibrancy and strong forward-moving energy. Perimenopause occurs in the latter part of this phase. Here, the tasks are sharing knowledge, mentoring, greater or lesser community involvement, and reflecting on the past, present, and future.

The Crone

The crone archetype is notable for the way it integrates what has preceded it. Physically, it is marked by menopause. While physical energy may have waned, there is a trove of life experience on which to draw. New possibilities include more time for introspection, greater self-confidence, stillness, greater interest in meditation, and a newfound appreciation of the simplest pleasures.

It can also be a time of grieving — not just of the aging process, itself, but of other losses as well. This allows space to let go of past patterns, roles, and dreams that may no longer be possible. The greatest gift of the crone is feeling freer and safer to be oneself.

Engaging with These Archetypes

By embracing each stage as you progress through life, you inhabit your truest self and prepare for the next phase.

While no life transition is especially easy to navigate, women entering the third age have a particularly difficult time in our culture as we are bombarded by messages that say we should stay young. Exactly the opposite advice that would help us move forward.

As with most life decisions, there are no cookie-cutter answers about how to live in each phase. One woman’s choices might be completely wrong for another. The hard part of continuing to evolve into your unique self is deeply listening to your own inner guides. Of course, they sometimes pepper you with conflicting messages, but if you’re patient and willing to wait, the path becomes clear.

Want help making peace with your life or support as you make hard decisions? Search for a therapist who can help.

Reflections on Cronehood

I was sitting in the park yesterday, the paradigm of a little old lady on a bench, and I felt an incredible sense of freedom. With no pressure to be physically appealing to anybody and not looking for anyone to complete me, I felt fully myself. It was a glorious experience. Embracing my cronehood. Who knew?

Every single thing I have ever been led to believe about being an old woman evaporated in that moment. I felt seen. People smiled at me, and one young man sat with me to chat for a little while.

I like to remind myself that Yoda and ET weren’t beautiful, yet they were wise, loving, and fully present — not to mention respected and loved.

In my younger years, I enjoyed many aspects of the maiden and mother roles. Now, it’s time to take off those mantles and allow this stage to unfold. I have no interest in chasing a youth that at 68 is truly behind me. And what is “young at heart” anyway? I want to be wise, compassionate, generous, and kind at heart. I couldn’t give a rat’s meow about being or looking young. I want to be what I am: an old woman.

It’s hard, though. The media show me pictures of women my age who — through all sorts of machinations — look a lot younger. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be vibrant and healthy, but I can be those things at 68 and look my age. I don’t want to be young again. Been there, done that. What’s interesting is discovering this third age. I love sharing my experience of 45+ years as a holistic psychotherapist.

Life Wisdom for the Crone

Someone very wise once said to me that if I were comfortable with my choices, the chances are other people would be, too. Not only have I found that to be true, but by living my most authentic life I give people a cosmic permission slip to live theirs.

We all need examples of what’s possible. Thankfully, I have seen other older women do their own thing and find it incredibly inspiring. I can only hope my ways will inspire people to feel good about their choices, even when they go against the prevailing societal tides.

This third age can be a fertile time full of discovery. That may manifest as trying new things externally, plumbing your own depths, or a combination of both.

For many women, it might entail long periods of rest. Even though that can feel “unproductive,” it may prove to be just the peaceful, healing break your body-mind-spirit needs.

Aging with Awareness and Self-Compassion

Like an old injury that still might be seen in a faint scar on your body, some things naturally lessen over time. Other issues, like childhood trauma, keep paying emotional dividends. It’s never too late to get good therapy. You can evolve until you drop the body.

One of the biggest challenges in life is fully accepting whatever stage you’re in and allowing the present to unfold with new possibilities. This process can happen as we grow out of things naturally and organically, or through therapy.

When it comes to entering the crone age and swimming against the tide of our youth-oriented culture, that may entail a conscious, concerted effort to be your true self. This is never easy. It’s even more challenging when you’re aging in an age-denying society where media bombards you 24 hours a day. Still, it can be done. The effort is worth the reward of authenticity. In addition, you can be a beacon to younger people by showing them what it means to age with some measure of grace and acceptance.

Of course, it’s also important to be honest about the challenges of aging, just as it is to be present with the tasks of maidenhood and motherhood. No stage is easy, but by navigating them with awareness and not hiding behind a facade of everything being all good all the time, we can support each other in a new compassionate way. 

Finding a therapist who can help you navigate the challenges of life’s bumps, twists, and turns can be incredibly helpful to embracing the stage you’re in. Search for therapists in your area, then narrow your search using the filters on the left of your search results. If you’re looking for help with accepting your cronehood, you might use the Common Specialties filter, selecting All other issues > Aging and Geriatric Issues to see your options.

The Change: Menopause and Mental Health 

As women age, it’s only a matter of time before menopause sets in. Since every person is unique, the timing of menopause varies from one person to the next. But, generally speaking, menopause affects women, transgender men, and some nonbinary individuals in their late 40s and early 50s. 

While menopause is a completely natural process, individuals can feel its effects quite differently. For example, some people going through menopause might feel nothing much out of the ordinary while others might feel anxiety and depression. In extreme cases, some women going through menopause can experience a condition called menopausal psychosis.  

But before we examine the different phases of menopause and how menopause and mental health tie together, let’s take a step back and take a deeper look at what menopause entails. 

What Is Menopause? 

Menopause is the process of transitioning from a fertile individual who can get pregnant to an infertile individual who can no longer give birth. When an individual passes menopause, they become post-menopausal, i.e., someone who hasn’t had a period in at least one year. 

As women endure this process, they may experience a number of medical symptoms as the ovaries stop producing as much estrogen and progesterone. Some of these symptoms include hot flashes, vaginal dryness, weight gain, insomnia, and mood swings.  

As a result, many women going through menopause also lose quite a bit of their sex drive. 

Going Through Menopause: The Phases 

Generally speaking, there are three distinct phases of menopause: 

1. Perimenopause starts when women begin to become less fertile and the body stops producing as much estrogen and progesterone. At this stage, a woman might start having irregular periods.
2. Menopause occurs when a woman hasn’t had a period in at least 12 months. On average, this occurs between the ages of 45 and 55.
3. Postmenopause is the final phase of the process and describes women, transgendered men, and nonbinary individuals who have gone through menopause. Due to a lack of hormone production, women at this stage are more likely to develop conditions like heart disease and osteoporosis. 

Now that you have a better idea of the process menopausal woman go through, let’s turn our attention to some of the signs that might indicate someone is experiencing menopause. 

What Are the Symptoms of Menopause? 

The most common symptom of menopause is hot flashes, which affect as many as 70 percent of those going through the process. These sudden overwhelming feelings of heat can last as long as 10 minutes. 

Here are some additional symptoms menopausal people may experience: 

• Vaginal dryness, which causes discomfort during sex and contributes to a decreased sexual appetite 
• Incontinence, with women having to go to the bathroom more frequently and potentially leaking small amounts of urine when laughing or sneezing 
• Slower metabolism, making it easier to gain weight and harder to lose it 
• Reduced bone density, which can lead to osteoporosis and broken bones 

On top of these physical symptoms, women may also experience mental health problems. In addition to insomnia and mood swings, some women may also encounter memory issues and have shortened attention spans. 

What’s more, some women may also become very anxious during menopause. After all, this is a major life transition; not everyone is willing to easily accept that they’ve arrived at this moment in their lives. Unfortunately, research suggests that women with anxiety can exacerbate the symptoms of menopause. 

Further, women going through menopause are more likely to experience depression. In fact, one recent study found that 60 percent of perimenopausal and menopausal women were experiencing anxiety, 60 percent were experiencing depression, and 80 percent had brain fog. According to Harvard, women are twice as likely to become depressed during menopause. 

What Is Menopausal Psychosis? 

While 60 percent of women experience mild menopausal symptoms, 20 percent experience no symptoms at all. The remain 20 percent, however, experience menopause moderately to severely, which may lead to other problems and require professional help. 

For example, some women going through menopause may develop a condition called menopausal psychosis. Women who’ve been diagnosed as schizophrenic are perhaps most likely to see a resurgence of that condition. Should they find themselves developing menopausal psychosis, women would be wise to enlist the services of a therapist to help them navigate these choppy waters. 

While society has long held that women going through menopause tend to be overly emotional, the science increasingly points in the other direction: that there is a major correlation between menopause and mental health, and that this is a major transition that has a massive impact on the body and mind. In fact, studies show that women endure the same kind of rapid hormonal shifts as they undergo during puberty.  

For these reasons, it’s important for menopausal women to recognize the severity of the process and learn what they can do to decrease the chances that menopause causes serious mental health problems for them. 

How Menopausal Women Can Deal with The Changes 

While there’s nothing women can do to prevent the process of menopause from happening, there are some tactics they can employ to reduce the severity of the symptoms they might experience during the journey: 

1. Pay attention to your diet.

Research suggests that caffeine, alcohol, and spicy foods can all trigger hot flashes. To reduce the likelihood and severity of hot flashes, women going through menopause are advised to avoid these three substances as much as they can. 

2. Get your exercise.

Menopausal women can also benefit from doing various kinds of exercise. For example, kegel exercises, i.e., pelvic-floor exercises, can help women develop stronger pelvic muscles, which gives them more control over their bladders. Further, research suggests that women who practice yoga can lessen their stress and improve their mood, which can decrease the chances they’re affected by depression and anxiety. 

3. Use lubrication for sex.

When women experience vaginal dryness, sex can become painful, causing libidos to decrease substantially. If a menopausal woman is in the mood for sex, she should consider using over-the-counter lubricants to make the act more pleasurable.  

In addition to these options, menopausal women — and particularly those who are having a very difficult time dealing with the condition — should strongly consider looking for a therapist to work through the issue.  

The right therapist will be able to help you navigate this trying period and help you overcome things like body image issues, stress, and grief while helping you improve your self-esteem and conquer sleeplessness and depression. 

Ready to begin working through the problems related to menopause? Start your search for a therapist today.