Starting therapy can feel hard to explain.
Sometimes there is a clear reason. A loss. A breakup. Burnout. A period of anxiety that has become impossible to ignore.
Other times, the feeling is more subtle. Life may look fine from the outside, but something internally feels off. You may feel stuck, disconnected, overwhelmed, or simply no longer at ease in your own life.
For therapist Brooke Pomerantz, that in between space matters. It is often where the most meaningful work begins.
A licensed clinical social worker who has been in private practice since 2007, Brooke works with adults and young adults in Oakland and via telehealth. Many of the people she supports are highly capable, thoughtful, and outwardly successful, yet privately struggling with anxiety, perfectionism, burnout, or a deeper sense of dissatisfaction they cannot quite name.
What stands out most in Brooke’s approach is not just what she helps clients work through, but how she meets them there. Her philosophy is grounded in curiosity, patience, and the belief that every person deserves to be understood as an individual, not reduced to a category or rushed into change before they are ready.
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Video Interview: Watch the Conversation with Brooke PomerantzHear Brooke discuss starting therapy, feeling safe with a therapist, and finding the right fit. |
Why starting therapy can feel so hard
For people starting therapy for the first time, I acknowledge that the experience can feel vulnerable and anxiety-inducing. That anxiety, she says, is not a sign that something is going wrong. It is often part of the process. A competent therapist can recognize this vulnerability and adjust the pace of treatment at a pace that works best for their client. This is why the initial sessions are a huge opportunity for both the individual and the therapist to assess if they are a good match and whether the individual has an agency in the process.
What to do if you feel anxious about therapy
It’s simple. Name the feeling. Saying “I feel anxious being here” can lead to a much deeper and sincere conversation. It gives both therapist and client somewhere real to begin. Instead of trying to arrive with everything figured out, a person can start from what is true in the moment. It also gives them a chance to notice if they feel safe, understood, and ready to share their experiences in a particular setup with the therapist in question.
A gentle first sentenceIf starting feels awkward, a simple sentence like “I feel anxious being here” can be enough to open the door. |
Can therapy help even if nothing feels wrong?
Yes. Therapy does not only belong to moments of crisis or chaos. It can also be a place to think more deeply about your life, understand your patterns, strengthen your relationships, and develop a more connected relationship with yourself. Even when someone says they are “fine,” there is often something underneath that is asking to be explored.
That idea makes therapy feel less like an emergency response and more like a meaningful form of self-reflection. It becomes a space to pause, take stock, and ask harder questions about how you are living and what you may need next.
What makes your practice unique, and how do you know if you’re a good fit for a client?
It is about being intentional about not getting ahead of the person in front of you. As therapists, we need to understand each person in the context of their own life, strengths, challenges, and readiness for change. That means honoring where someone is, instead of pushing them toward where they “should” be.
This way of working can be especially supportive for people who are used to pressuring themselves. Like many of my clients who are high functioning and driven. They may look successful on the outside while internally feeling exhausted, unhappy, perfectionistic, or chronically disconnected from their own needs. I also work with young adults who are having trouble launching into adulthood, perhaps having had setbacks like a mental health crisis, and need support navigating the transition.
How to cope when life feels emotionally overwhelming
When life feels overwhelming, it can help to slow everything down and focus on getting through one moment or one hour at a time. Reducing the size of the problem can make it feel more survivable. And when depression or hopelessness makes action feel nearly impossible, even a very small step can matter. A walk. A phone call. Any small movement or action can combat the tendency to retreat and feel paralyzed.
There is something deeply humane about that advice. It does not romanticize healing or pretends that change is easy. It simply offers a gentler entry point.
How to find the right therapist for your needs
Finding a therapist is rarely a one size fits all process. It is highly individual. People may begin by exploring therapist directories, asking for referrals from their community, or looking for someone with a shared background or area of expertise. What matters most is finding someone with whom you feel safe and someone you believe can understand you and help with the areas where you feel stuck.
A simple way to begin is:
1. Read a few therapist profiles carefullyNotice how therapists describe their approach, specialties, and the kinds of clients they work with. |
2. Look for what feels alignedShared identity, expertise, communication style, or lived experience may all play a role in helping you feel understood. |
3. Take the next step to assess fitA consultation or follow up call can help you decide whether the connection feels right. |
This is one reason directories like GoodTherapy can be a helpful place to start. They make it easier to explore therapist profiles, understand different approaches, and find a therapist whose style feels aligned with what you need.
For therapists, it is also a reminder that a thoughtful profile matters. The clearer you are about your approach and who you help, the easier it is for the right clients to find and connect with you.
The right support can change everything
Brooke Pomerantz’s approach reminds us that therapy is not about having everything figured out before you begin. It is about making sense of your feelings and things that are weighing you down and channeling it into an effort to find a space where you can be honest and feel safe. Her reflections offer something deeply reassuring that growth can happen at your own pace, that support can be valuable even before a crisis, and that the right therapeutic relationship can help you move through life with greater clarity and self-awareness.
If Brooke’s words resonated with you, take a moment to explore her GoodTherapy profile and learn more about her approach. If you are still looking for the right fit, browse GoodTherapy’s therapist directory to find a provider whose style, perspective, and approach align with your needs.
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Ready to find the right therapist?Explore GoodTherapy’s directory of vetted professionals and find someone whose approach aligns with your needs. |
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Starting therapy can be one of the most empowering decisions you make, but the path to better mental health begins with a potentially tough question: “How do I even find the right therapist?â€
The process is a little like dating, but with slightly higher stakes. You’re looking for someone you can trust with your most vulnerable thoughts and feelings — someone whose training, personality, and approach align with your needs. The right therapist will be beside you through years of learning and development, and finding the perfect fit lays the foundation for plenty of meaningful progress and growth.Â
This step-by-step guide walks you through everything you need to know to find a therapist who’s not only qualified, but a true fit for you.
Step 1: Understand What You Need Help With
Before you start searching, take a moment to identify what you want support with. Are you dealing with anxiety, depression, trauma, grief, or relationship issues? Are you looking for a safe space to process life changes or rediscover your sense of purpose? Knowing what type of therapy you’re seeking will help narrow your search to therapists who specialize in what you’re experiencing.
Also, consider your preferences. Would you feel more comfortable with a therapist of a certain gender, race, or cultural background, such as a BIPOC therapist? Do you want someone who shares or understands a particular identity or lived experience? These considerations are valid and can help you feel more seen and supported.
Step 2: Explore Therapy Modalities
Therapists use different modalities — or methods of treatment — based on your goals and their training. Some of the most common include:
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): A structured, goal-oriented therapy that focuses on identifying and changing unhelpful thoughts and behaviors. Often used for anxiety, depression, and stress management.
- Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): A type of CBT that helps people manage intense emotions and improve relationships. Commonly used for borderline personality disorder, self-harm, and chronic emotional dysregulation.
- Psychodynamic Therapy: Explores unconscious patterns rooted in early life experiences to gain insight and resolve internal conflicts.
- Psychiatry: A field dedicated to the diagnosis, study, and treatment of mental health conditions.
- Family Therapy: Focuses on family dynamics.
- Couples or Marriage Counseling: Works to improve communication and strengthen relationships.
- Somatic Therapy: Focuses on how the body holds stress and trauma, helping clients reconnect with bodily sensations and release stored tension. Useful for trauma, anxiety, and chronic stress.
- Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR): A trauma-focused therapy that uses bilateral stimulation (such as guided eye movements) to help reprocess distressing memories, which can be especially helpful for PTSD.
You don’t have to be an expert on therapy styles, but a basic understanding of different therapy modalities can help you ask the right questions and choose a therapist who uses methods that resonate with you. If you’re unsure where to begin, GoodTherapy’s search tool allows you to filter by modality so you can learn more about each therapist’s approach and find the one that resonates with you.
Step 3: Start Your Search
Once you have a sense of what you’re looking for, it’s time to start your search. You can:
- Ask for referrals from your doctor or trusted friends
- Use an online therapist directory (like GoodTherapy) to filter by specialty, location, insurance, and more
- Contact your insurance provider for a list of in-network therapists
Online directories often let you read bios, learn about each therapist’s approach, and even view pictures to help you get a feel for the person behind the profile.
Step 4: Ask Questions Before Committing
Once you’ve narrowed down a few options, reach out to set up a consultation or ask questions via email. Some helpful questions to ask include:
- What’s your experience with the issues I’m facing?
- What kind of therapy do you practice, and what does that look like in sessions?
- How do you handle progress tracking and goal-setting?
- What are your fees and policies for cancellations, late arrivals, etc.?
- Do you take my insurance or offer sliding scale pricing?
Remember, you’re allowed (and encouraged) to be selective! A good therapist will understand that finding the right fit matters and will support your search, even if it doesn’t lead to working with them.
Step 5: Try Out the First Few Sessions
The first few sessions with a therapist are like a trial period. It’s normal to feel a little nervous or unsure, but over time, you should begin to feel safe, heard, and respected.
A few green flags to look for:
- The therapist listens without judgment
- You feel emotionally safe and supported
- They respect your boundaries
- They’re transparent about fees, credentials, and approach
Red flags for therapists include:
- They talk about themselves more than they listen
- They ignore your boundaries or make you feel judged
- They guarantee specific outcomes or results
- They’re vague about credentials or billing practices
- They unexpectedly cut sessions short or constantly reschedule
- They become too emotionally involvedÂ
If something feels off, trust your instincts. It’s also important to remember: you don’t have to get it right on the first try. It’s perfectly okay if the first therapist you meet isn’t the right fit. This doesn’t mean therapy isn’t for you — it just means your journey might take a few steps. Give yourself permission to explore until you find someone who feels like the appropriate partner for your growth.
Read More: The Role of Ethics in Therapy
How GoodTherapy Can Help
At GoodTherapy, we make the process of finding a qualified, ethical therapist easier. Every therapist in our network is vetted for licensure, education, and commitment to ethical standards. You can search by specialty, insurance, location, and more, so you can feel confident that your therapist has the right qualifications and is someone you can truly connect with.
Healing starts with the right support. Let GoodTherapy help you find a therapist who meets your needs and honors your journey.
It May be Time to Seek a Therapist
We all reach moments in life when things feel like too much — when struggles pile up, and even small tasks feel overwhelming. Maybe you’ve noticed it’s harder to get through the day, or that your once-familiar joy just isn’t there anymore. It’s not always easy to tell when a rough patch has become something deeper, but being aware of certain signs can help you decide when to reach out for extra support. When any type of mental health or emotional concern affects daily life and function, therapy may be recommended. Therapy can help you learn about what you’re feeling, why you might be feeling it, and how to cope. Psychotherapy, talk or talking therapy, counseling, or simply therapy — no matter the name it’s known by, mental health counseling can benefit people struggling with emotional difficulties, life challenges, and mental health concerns.
Why You Should Consider Therapy?
Seeking therapy isn’t about needing to be “fixed†or having something “wrong.†Instead, it’s a safe space where you can work through thoughts, emotions, and life’s complexities with someone who understands and has the tools to guide you toward feeling better. Therapy can help improve symptoms of many mental health conditions. In therapy, people can learn to cope with symptoms that may not respond to treatment right away. Research shows the benefits of therapy last longer than medication alone. Medication can reduce some symptoms of mental health conditions, but therapy teaches people skills to address many symptoms on their own.Â
Therapy also lets you talk through life’s challenges, such as breakups, grief, parenting difficulties, health impacts, or family struggles. For example, couples counseling can help you and your partner work through relationship troubles and learn new ways of relating to each other. Note that crisis resources, not couples counseling, are typically recommended for abusive relationships.
If you’ve been wondering whether it’s time to ask for help, keep reading to learn about a few common signs that therapy could bring you relief, greater understanding, and the strength to take on life’s challenges with a renewed sense of purpose.
How Common are Mental Health Issues?
Mental health issues are common. Recent statistics from the National Alliance on Mental Health show 1 out of every 5 American adults lives with a mental health condition, while 1 in 20 adults experience a serious mental health condition each year. 1 in 6 U.S. youth age 6-17 experience a mental health disorder.
But only about 40% of people with mental health issues get help. Untreated mental health issues often get worse and may have other negative effects. They could also lead to:
- Inability to work or go to school
- Difficulty in relationships or taking care of children
- Increased risk of health issues
- Hospitalization
- Suicide
Suicide is the second leading cause of death for people in the United States between the ages of 10 and 34. About 90% of people who die by suicide in the U.S. lived with a mental health condition.
The best option for anyone contemplating suicide is to get immediate help is reaching out to a suicide helpline through phone, text message, or online chat. You may be encouraged to call or visit the nearest emergency room. A therapist can help support you going forward, once you are no longer in crisis.
The GoodTherapy registry might be helpful to you. We have thousands of therapists listed with us who would love to walk with you on your journey. Find the support you need today!
Recognizing the Signs You Could Benefit From Therapy
It may take some consideration before you decide you’re ready for therapy. You might want to wait and see if time, lifestyle changes, or the support of friends and family improves whatever you’re struggling with.
The American Psychological Association suggests you consider a time to see a therapist when something causes distress and interferes with some part of life, particularly when:
- Thinking about or coping with the issue takes up at least an hour each day
- The issue causes embarrassment or makes you want to avoid others
- The issue has caused your quality of life to decrease
- The issue has negatively affected school, work, or relationships
- You’ve made changes in your life or developed habits to cope with the issue
If you experience any of the following emotions or feelings to the extent that they interfere with life, therapy may help you reduce their effects. It’s especially important to consider it’s time to see a therapist if you feel controlled by symptoms or if they could cause harm to yourself or others.
1. Feeling Constantly Overwhelmed, Anxious, or Have Intrusive Thoughts.Â
- While life is frequently stressful, constant feelings of overwhelm, unease, or anxiety can sometimes linger without relief and become so present that they negatively impact your daily life. When these feelings cause physical symptoms, constant intrusive thoughts, interfere with your ability to work, connect with others, or manage day-to-day responsibilities, it might be time to seek support. Therapy offers tools to manage anxiety and ways to identify its root causes, helping you regain a sense of calm and control.
2. Experiencing Persistent Sadness or Hopelessness.
- Sadness in certain quantities is a normal part of life, but if it persists or intensifies into depression, therapy can offer a safe space to work through your feelings. Losing hope or motivation, or feeling as if you have no future, can indicate depression or another mental health condition. Whether due to loss, major life changes, or something harder to pinpoint, a therapist can help you process dark days, find coping strategies, and regain hope.
3. Struggling with Self-Esteem or Negative Self-Talk.
- Feeling like you’re not enough or constantly doubting your self-worth can be exhausting and isolating. If self-criticism is holding you back from being social, pursuing goals, or feeling proud of yourself, therapy can help you see your inherent value. If you often compare yourself to others or constantly feel unworthy, these patterns could be signs that professional support may be needed.
4. Facing Major Life Transitions.
- Major changes, such as a new job, a move, political events, or a relationship shift, often come with their fair share of tough questions and difficult emotions. If these transitions leave you feeling stuck, unprepared, overly stressed, or totally lost, therapy can help you manage the change. Experiencing an intense fear of failure, regret, or constant second-guessing might be signs that professional support might be needed to make the transition smoother.
5. Difficulty in Relationships.
- Healthy relationships take effort, but if you find yourself facing recurring conflict, isolation, or trust issues, therapy can offer tools to navigate these challenges and strengthen your connection. Signs of recurring resentment, loneliness, or emotional distance are often early indicators that couples therapy or individual therapy might be necessary. Working with a relationship counselor can help you understand unhealthy patterns, improve communication, and build stronger, more fulfilling emotional bonds.
6. Turning to Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms.
- Turning to habit-forming behaviors for comfort can provide a quick fix, but will often lead to lasting issues. If you’re increasingly relying on substances, excessive screen time, unhealthy eating, or other habits to cope, therapy can provide a better alternative. Exploring these patterns in a nonjudgmental space can offer clarity and provide new ways to handle stress in healthier, more sustainable ways. Signs like secrecy, guilt, or relying on substances or habit-forming activities to escape your emotions can indicate a need for support in making changes.
7. Difficulty After Trauma
- Unprocessed trauma can lead to flashbacks, hypervigilance, or a constant sense of unease. If you find yourself avoiding certain places or people, struggling with trust, fighting intrusive emotions, or feeling on edge without explanation, it might be time to consider therapy. Working through the trauma with a professional can help you feel safer, and more grounded, ultimately opening, and ultimately open the door for healing.
8. Feeling “Stuck†or Lacking Motivation.
- When you feel stuck, unmotivated, or disconnected from the things you once enjoyed, therapy can help you reestablish a sense of purpose. Processing these feelings with a therapist can provide fresh perspectives, renewed energy, and the inspiration you need to face life head-on.
9. You’re Interested in Bettering Yourself.
- If you’re asking whether or not you need therapy, you might want to go ahead and try it out. Therapy isn’t just for people with trauma or “something wrong†— professional mental guidance can benefit just about anyone by improving self-understanding, everyday coping strategies, empathy, communication, and so much more. Even the “healthiest†individuals can gain so much from having a protected space to share and reflect. You don’t need to wait for things to get bad before starting therapy, just like you shouldn’t wait for health problems to appear before starting regular checkups with a physician.
Additional Signs:Â
Fatigue.Â
- This physical symptom often results from or accompanies mental health issues. It can indicate depression. Fatigue can cause you to sleep more than usual or have trouble getting out of bed in the morning.
Disproportionate rage, anger, or resentment.Â
- Everyone feels anger at times. Even passing rage isn’t necessarily harmful. Seeking support to deal with these feelings may be a good idea when they don’t pass, are extreme compared to the situation, or if they lead you to take violent or potentially harmful actions.
Agoraphobia.Â
- People with agoraphobia fear being in places where they might experience panic attacks or become trapped. Some people may become unable to leave their houses.
Apathy.Â
- Losing interest in usual activities, the world around you, or life in general can indicate mental health issues like depression or anxiety.
Social Withdrawal
- Many people feel better when they’re able to spend at least some time alone. Introverted people may need even more time alone than others. But if you feel distressed around others or fear being with other people, therapy can help you understand and deal with these feelings.
What If I’ve Already Tried Therapy and It Didn’t Work?
Sometimes therapy doesn’t “work†right away. Even in an ideal therapy situation, it can take time for symptoms to improve. – months or years. Going to therapy and seeing no change may cause frustration. Perhaps you haven’t found the right therapist, so it’s worth it to continue your search for help. If you’re still experiencing any of the symptoms above, therapy should still be an option. Don’t stop your quest to improve your mental health.
It can help to look for a therapist who treats what you’re experiencing. If you don’t have a diagnosis, you can talk to potential therapists about your symptoms. Most therapists will let you know if they’re able to treat your concern. If they can’t, they may be able to recommend someone who can.
Keep in mind different approaches may be better for different issues. If you didn’t feel heard in your previous therapy, or if your symptoms have changed since your last therapy session, a different therapist might be exactly what you to move forward.

The Benefits to Seeking Therapy
If you’re considering therapy, you may be thinking about the possible drawbacks. Cost might be a concern for you. You might also be aware that therapy is often difficult. Trauma or other painful events from the past can be frightening to remember and discuss with someone. Working through challenges isn’t easy, and therapy isn’t always a quick fix. Make sure that when you’re ready to see a therapist that you can be honest with yourself and with your them.
But if you’re willing to do the work, therapy can be rewarding. It’s a safe, judgment-free space where you can share anything, with a trained professional who is there to help.
Here are a few benefits of therapy:
- You’ll learn more about yourself. Therapists listen to your story and help you make connections. They might offer guidance or recommendations if you feel lost. Therapy can empower you to take action on your own.
- Therapy can help you achieve your goals. If you aren’t sure of what your goals are, therapy can help you clarify them and set realistic steps to meet them.
- Therapy can help you have more fulfilling relationships. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, therapy can help you address difficulties relating to others, such as insecurity in relationships or difficulty trusting your partners.
- You’re more likely to have better health. Research supports a link between mind and body wellness. Untreated mental health issues can impact physical wellness. On the other hand, people in good emotional health may be more able to deal with physical health issues that arise.
- Therapy can lead to improvement in all areas of life. If you feel like something is holding you back from living life as you envision it, therapy can help you address this. When you aren’t sure what’s keeping you from making change, therapy can help you discover the answer.
How Therapy Can Help You Move Forward
If you recognize the signs that a change is needed, starting therapy could provide a gateway to greater well-being. It’s more than just talking about what’s not right — it’s a chance to explore new perspectives, recognize patterns, and build skills that help you manage stress, strengthen relationships, and improve your overall mental state. With the right therapist, you’ll work together to set goals that feel meaningful to you, taking small steps that create lasting change.
At GoodTherapy, we make it easy to find the perfect therapist for your individual personality and needs, cutting the guesswork and difficulty out of finding empowering support. Whatever challenges you face, remember you’re not alone — help is here when you’re ready.
Even if you aren’t sure you want to commit to therapy, many therapists offer a free first session or phone consultation to talk through what you’re dealing with. Based on your symptoms, they might encourage you to get help. Begin your search for a therapist today!
If you believe you may need help beyond or in addition to a therapist, GoodTherapy Recovery Treatment Centers provide additional options to help beat addictions.
If you’ve never gone to therapy, you might not have much idea what happens in a therapy session. This is fairly common, since much of what people know about therapy comes from (often inaccurate) media portrayals.
In the past decade, awareness around mental health issues has increased significantly. Greater awareness has helped reduce mental health stigma by supporting therapy as a beneficial, normal method of getting help. Accordingly, the shroud of secrecy around therapy has started to fall away. Your friends, family members, even your coworkers may be perfectly willing to open up about their experience in therapy and how talking to a mental health professional has helped them.
But if you’re still unsure about therapy, or don’t know anyone who’s gone to therapy, you might hesitate before booking your first session. Maybe you feel nervous about what a therapist will do, or you don’t think your distress actually merits therapy.
You don’t need to experience any significant mental health issues or emotional distress for therapy to work.
Before exploring how therapy works to help people who are struggling, let’s bust that myth right now. You don’t need to experience any significant mental health issues or emotional distress for therapy to work. If you’re struggling, confused, feel like you want to sort out a problem or your life and don’t know where to start—therapy can help.
Therapy Is Personalized
The process of therapy can differ somewhat based on what you’re experiencing.
For one, the length of therapy can vary based on the issue you want help with. If you’re struggling with depression after a breakup or job loss, for example, therapy often helps you work through the problem within a few months. You might not be completely “cured,†but you’ll generally be able to resolve lingering distress on your own. That’s a key goal of therapy.
Serious or longer-lasting concerns, like trauma from abuse or chronic depression, may require more therapy sessions and a more intensive approach.
In most cases, you’ll spend just an hour each week in therapy. But your therapist might also recommend specialized types of therapy to meet your needs. Dialectical behavior therapy, for example, generally involves an hour of therapy, an hour of skills training, and an additional hour of group therapy each week.
Therapy doesn’t operate as a blanket remedy or one-size-fits-all approach. Therapy for intrusive thoughts (a component of OCD) will likely look much different than therapy for a phobia of dogs.
But even two people with generalized anxiety might see treatment proceed in different ways, based on the type of treatment the therapist specializes in and their individual needs.
If you’ve tried various coping strategies and still struggle with severe anxiety, for example, you might want to try medication, a perfectly valid (and helpful) treatment option. Your therapist should support your decision and work with you to find the right drug.
If you know you don’t want to take medication at all, unless absolutely necessary, you might look for a therapist who specializes in alternative treatments, like yoga or nature therapy.
Therapy Helps People Reach Goals
You might consider going to therapy (or want to avoid therapy entirely) with the idea that your therapist will give you advice, tell you what to do, or ask how every little thing makes you feel.
But therapy doesn’t work like that. Rather, therapy offers a safe, nonjudgmental space for you to talk about problems and anything that’s overwhelming you or even just making life a little tough. Your therapist listens to what you have to say and then works with you to develop a plan to confront challenges and achieve an improved quality of life.
You can also go to therapy if you aren’t experiencing significant distress. Therapy can be beneficial in the pursuit of any goal, no matter what that goal is.
Maybe you want to date but feel you lack the skills to approach someone or make a relationship work. Perhaps you want to work on being closer with your teenage children. Or maybe you just want to break a lifelong nail-biting habit.
Whatever your goal, your therapist will help you explore potential changes you can make to arrive at the outcome you desire. But you come to therapy with your goals (or spend time identifying them in session). You also have an opportunity to share solutions that don’t work, which can help you and your therapist work together to find something that will have benefit.
Say you’ve been feeling low because you no longer have time to create art. Your therapist asks what a typical day looks like for you. After you explain your schedule, they point out you’re spending all your time doing things for others, something you never stopped to consider.
In short, therapy can help you work to identify and break concerning patterns or habits on your own. Therapists don’t give you all the answers. They help you find the right tools to help yourself.
In therapy, you drive the car. Your therapist can help you navigate when you get lost or help dig you out if you get stuck in the mud.
Therapy Puts You in Control
In therapy, you drive the car. Your therapist can help you navigate when you get lost or help dig you out if you get stuck in the mud. But your therapist doesn’t decide where you go or how you get there. You do that work yourself.
That’s why finding a therapist you can work well with is so important. You can often help personalize your own therapy experience by choosing your own therapist, so look for someone you feel comfortable with.
Therapists aren’t machines. Their unique personalities, mannerisms, and styles of interaction will likely show through in the therapy process. Their personality can help attract you to the work you’re doing together, or put you off it.
Finding a therapist who will encourage you to keep pushing through difficulties, even when it’s unpleasant, is also essential. Therapy often feels uncomfortable, even unpleasant. That’s a normal part of the process. But when you and your therapist have a strong working relationship, you trust them to support you through the discomfort and arrive at a place where you feel ready to make change.
If you don’t believe your therapist will continue offering compassion and support, regardless of the thoughts you share or challenges you face, you’ll have a harder time opening up and sharing your vulnerabilities. As a result, therapy may have less effect.
You pay for therapy. It’s your space to create change. Your therapist offers guidance during the process, but you work toward what you need.
Conclusion
If you go into therapy looking for a quick, easy solution, or with the hope your therapist will solve all your problems, you won’t get much out of the process.
Therapy can be hard work, and going into therapy with this in mind can help prepare you for the occasional tough session. But when you work with the right therapist, therapy can be productive and healing, and most of your sessions will probably feel rewarding, even when they’re a little difficult.
Ready to find a compassionate therapist? GoodTherapy is the best place to start. Start your search here.
References:
- Frey, E. (2017, April 27). How therapy actually works and 5 myths about therapy debunked. Retrieved from https://medium.com/kip-blog/5-myths-about-therapy-debunked-17e7fdd8b8a5
- Going to a therapist. (2018). TeensHealth. Retrieved from https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/therapist.html
- Understanding psychotherapy and how it works. (n.d.). American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/understanding-psychotherapy
- What is psychotherapy? (2019). American Psychiatric Association. Retrieved from https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/psychotherapy
For many people, therapy is the best investment that they will ever make. A successful course of therapy is much like getting a correct prescription for glasses, in that it can alter the way a person sees the world. Though the process is more involved than getting a prescription, the results can be equally dramatic.
At the same time, psychotherapy requires a commitment of time, emotional vulnerability, and financial resources. Many people are understandably ambivalent about beginning the process. In this article, I will explore research on the benefits of psychotherapy that underscore why investing in therapy can be a wise decision.
What Therapy Seeks to Accomplish
To understand why committing to therapy is a good idea, it is worth reflecting on what therapy accomplishes. Most people who enter therapy come with only the broad knowledge that they have psychological distress. Yet their symptoms are often a reflection of irregularities in the brain.
A person seeking therapy will likely have had painful experiences. These incidents may have heightened their brain’s sensitivity to threats. These incidents could have diminished the brain’s reaction to positive social experiences as well. The way the person’s brain adapted to manage past pains may no longer be serving them well in the present. Instead, these changes may be contributing to emotional distress.
Neuroimaging studies have shown therapy can help re-balance the activity in people’s brain structures. This holds true for people with depression, phobias, posttraumatic stress (PTSD), and other conditions. Therapy can strengthen activity in the brain regions that allow people to reflect on and reinterpret distressing events. It can also reduce activity in the regions of the brain that send out fear signals.
The Value of Therapy
Anyone who has completed a successful course of therapy can attest to its value. But it can be hard to have the faith it takes to invest in the process long enough to see results. People who are considering therapy for the first time or who did not have a good fit with their first therapist may be nervous about making a commitment.
While therapy is certainly a commitment of resources, it is often worth the investment. Recent studies may help assign some concrete numbers to therapy’s value. One group of researchers looked at the relative value of therapy to direct financial compensation. They found therapy was 32 times more cost-efficient at alleviating psychological distress than money.
Another study compared how much life satisfaction is derived from changes to personality versus from monetary gain. Neuroticism, a tendency to react to stressors with negative emotions, was one of the most influential personality traits. The study found a significant reduction in neuroticism had the same value to life satisfaction as being given $314,000. As it happens, reduced neuroticism is a common outcome of therapy.
Therapy may also improve a person’s physical health. Research shows processing traumatic experiences can improve a person’s immune functioning. For people who have received a mental health diagnosis, engaging in therapy reduces their overall future medical costs by about 17%.  People who do not receive treatment can expect to see their overall medical costs increase by about 12% over time.
While these studies on the benefits of therapy may seem surprising, on some level they are intuitive. A person who resolves a physical symptom such as lower back pain often has a lasting increase in life satisfaction. This boost would be hard to replicate through material gain because the outcome is with the person wherever they go. Through reworking our brain’s functioning, therapy can provide a similar increase in well-being. While therapy is certainly a commitment of resources, it is often worth the investment.
References :
- Abbass, A. A., Nowoweiski, S. J., Bernier, D., Tarzwell, R., & Beutel, M. E. (2014). Review of psychodynamic psychotherapy neuroimaging studies. Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics, 83(3), 142-147. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24732748
- Boyce, C. J. & Wood, A. M. (2010). Money or mental health: The cost of alleviating psychological distress with monetary compensation versus psychological therapy. Health Economics, Policy, and Law, 5(4), 509-516. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19919728
- Boyce, C. J., Wood, A. M., & Powdthavee, N. (2013). Is personality fixed? Personality changes as much as “variable†economic factors and more strongly predicts changes to life satisfaction. Social Indicators Research, 111(1), 287-305. Retrieved from https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11205-012-0006-z
- Chiles, J.A., Lambert, M.J., & Hatch, A.L. (2002). Medical cost offset: A review of the impact of psychological interventions on medical utilization over the past three decades. In N. A. Cummings, W.T. O’ Donohue, & K.E. Ferguson (Eds.), The impact of medical cost offset on practice and research: Making it work for you. Reno, NV: Context Press.
- Karlsson, H. (2011, August 11). How psychotherapy changes the brain. Psychiatric Times, 28(8). Retrieved from http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/psychotherapy/how-psychotherapy-changes-brain
- Pennebaker, J. W., Kiecolt-Glaser, J., & Glaser, R. (1988). Disclosure of traumas and immune function: Health implications for psychotherapy. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 56(2), 239-245. Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/19783166_Disclosure_of_Traumas_and_Immune_Function_Health_Implications_for_Psychotherapy
- Veenhoven, R. (2008). Healthy happiness: Effects of happiness on physical health and the consequences for preventive health care. Journal of Happiness Studies, 9(3), 449-469. Retrieved from https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10902-006-9042-1
