Starting therapy can feel hard to explain.

Sometimes there is a clear reason. A loss. A breakup. Burnout. A period of anxiety that has become impossible to ignore.

Other times, the feeling is more subtle. Life may look fine from the outside, but something internally feels off. You may feel stuck, disconnected, overwhelmed, or simply no longer at ease in your own life.

For therapist Brooke Pomerantz, that in between space matters. It is often where the most meaningful work begins.

A licensed clinical social worker who has been in private practice since 2007, Brooke works with adults and young adults in Oakland and via telehealth. Many of the people she supports are highly capable, thoughtful, and outwardly successful, yet privately struggling with anxiety, perfectionism, burnout, or a deeper sense of dissatisfaction they cannot quite name.

What stands out most in Brooke’s approach is not just what she helps clients work through, but how she meets them there. Her philosophy is grounded in curiosity, patience, and the belief that every person deserves to be understood as an individual, not reduced to a category or rushed into change before they are ready.

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Take Our Quiz to Start Your Healing Journey

PLAY

Video Interview: Watch the Conversation with Brooke Pomerantz

Hear Brooke discuss starting therapy, feeling safe with a therapist, and finding the right fit.

In this interview

. Why starting therapy can feel so hard
. What to do if you feel anxious about therapy
. Can therapy help even if nothing feels wrong?
. What makes your practice unique?
. How to find the right therapist for your needs
. FAQs

Why starting therapy can feel so hard

For people starting therapy for the first time, I acknowledge that the experience can feel vulnerable and anxiety-inducing. That anxiety, she says, is not a sign that something is going wrong. It is often part of the process. A competent therapist can recognize this vulnerability and adjust the pace of treatment at a pace that works best for their client. This is why the initial sessions are a huge opportunity for both the individual and the therapist to assess if they are a good match and whether the individual has an agency in the process.

What to do if you feel anxious about therapy

It’s simple. Name the feeling. Saying “I feel anxious being here” can lead to a much deeper and sincere conversation. It gives both therapist and client somewhere real to begin. Instead of trying to arrive with everything figured out, a person can start from what is true in the moment. It also gives them a chance to notice if they feel safe, understood, and ready to share their experiences in a particular setup with the therapist in question.

A gentle first sentence

If starting feels awkward, a simple sentence like “I feel anxious being here” can be enough to open the door.

Can therapy help even if nothing feels wrong?

Yes. Therapy does not only belong to moments of crisis or chaos. It can also be a place to think more deeply about your life, understand your patterns, strengthen your relationships, and develop a more connected relationship with yourself. Even when someone says they are “fine,” there is often something underneath that is asking to be explored.

That idea makes therapy feel less like an emergency response and more like a meaningful form of self-reflection. It becomes a space to pause, take stock, and ask harder questions about how you are living and what you may need next.

What makes your practice unique, and how do you know if you’re a good fit for a client?

It is about being intentional about not getting ahead of the person in front of you. As therapists, we need to understand each person in the context of their own life, strengths, challenges, and readiness for change. That means honoring where someone is, instead of pushing them toward where they “should” be.

This way of working can be especially supportive for people who are used to pressuring themselves. Like many of my clients who are high functioning and driven. They may look successful on the outside while internally feeling exhausted, unhappy, perfectionistic, or chronically disconnected from their own needs. I also work with young adults who are having trouble launching into adulthood, perhaps having had setbacks like a mental health crisis, and need support navigating the transition.

How to cope when life feels emotionally overwhelming

When life feels overwhelming, it can help to slow everything down and focus on getting through one moment or one hour at a time. Reducing the size of the problem can make it feel more survivable. And when depression or hopelessness makes action feel nearly impossible, even a very small step can matter. A walk. A phone call. Any small movement or action can combat the tendency to retreat and feel paralyzed.

There is something deeply humane about that advice. It does not romanticize healing or pretends that change is easy. It simply offers a gentler entry point.

How to find the right therapist for your needs

Finding a therapist is rarely a one size fits all process. It is highly individual. People may begin by exploring therapist directories, asking for referrals from their community, or looking for someone with a shared background or area of expertise. What matters most is finding someone with whom you feel safe and someone you believe can understand you and help with the areas where you feel stuck.

A simple way to begin is:

1. Read a few therapist profiles carefully

Notice how therapists describe their approach, specialties, and the kinds of clients they work with.

2. Look for what feels aligned

Shared identity, expertise, communication style, or lived experience may all play a role in helping you feel understood.

3. Take the next step to assess fit

A consultation or follow up call can help you decide whether the connection feels right.

This is one reason directories like GoodTherapy can be a helpful place to start. They make it easier to explore therapist profiles, understand different approaches, and find a therapist whose style feels aligned with what you need.

For therapists, it is also a reminder that a thoughtful profile matters. The clearer you are about your approach and who you help, the easier it is for the right clients to find and connect with you.

The right support can change everything

Brooke Pomerantz’s approach reminds us that therapy is not about having everything figured out before you begin. It is about making sense of your feelings and things that are weighing you down and channeling it into an effort to find a space where you can be honest and feel safe. Her reflections offer something deeply reassuring that growth can happen at your own pace, that support can be valuable even before a crisis, and that the right therapeutic relationship can help you move through life with greater clarity and self-awareness.

If Brooke’s words resonated with you, take a moment to explore her GoodTherapy profile and learn more about her approach. If you are still looking for the right fit, browse GoodTherapy’s therapist directory to find a provider whose style, perspective, and approach align with your needs.

FAQs

Frequently Asked Questions

Common questions about starting therapy and finding the right therapist.

Q: How do I find the right therapist? +

A: Start by reading therapist profiles, looking for someone, whose approach and expertise feel relevant to your needs, and then taking a consultation call if possible. The right therapist is often someone with whom you feel safe and understood.

Q: What if I feel anxious about starting therapy? +

A: Feeling anxious about therapy is normal. Brooke suggests naming that anxiety directly, since it can become a helpful starting point for the conversation.

Q: Do I need to be in crisis to go to therapy? +

A: No. Therapy can help with self-awareness, life transitions, relationships, anxiety, and personal growth, even when nothing is obviously wrong.

Q: How do I know if a therapist is a good fit? +

A: A good fit often means you feel safe, understood, and supported. The first few sessions can help both you and the therapist decide whether the relationship feels right.

Ready to find the right therapist?

Explore GoodTherapy’s directory of vetted professionals and find someone whose approach aligns with your needs.

Browse Now

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Female therapist with glasses and a young male client sit together reviewing a clipboard during a types of therapy session in a bright room

If you’ve ever typed “types of therapy” into a search tool and felt more confused after reading the results, you’re not alone. Terms like cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical behavior therapy, and EMDR can sound clinical and intimidating, but this guide helps you understand these approaches with definitions written for real people like you.

Whether you’re considering therapy for the first time, exploring options for a loved one, or simply trying to ask better questions when working with a therapist, we can help you through it all.

In This Article

Read More: Explore Different Types of Therapy

Why Knowing Your Therapy Options Matters

The beauty of therapy is that there is no one approach: it looks different for everyone, depending on their needs. The right treatment for someone navigating grief may look very different from what works for someone managing borderline personality disorder or processing childhood trauma. You may have heard of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), which is very effective for many people, but it’s just one of many therapy approaches that trained professionals can use.

Knowing what’s available and which modalities address different needs empowers you to have informed, meaningful conversations with potential therapists or current therapists. It also helps you trust the process once you begin the healing journey.

The Most Common Types of Therapy, Explained

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Changing the Way You Think & Act

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is one of the most widely researched and practiced forms of psychotherapy in the world. At its core, CBT is straightforward: learning how your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors interact helps you view challenging situations more clearly and respond to them more effectively.

In practice, CBT is structured and goal-oriented. Cognitive behavioral therapy usually takes place over a limited number of sessions, typically 5–20. During those sessions, a therapist helps you identify negative thought patterns, like catastrophizing or all-or-nothing thinking, and replace them with more realistic ones.

Best for: Anxiety disorders, depression, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), eating disorders, substance use, and even chronic pain.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): For Intense Emotions and Difficult Patterns

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) takes a different approach, using fundamentals of CBT with an emphasis on acceptance. Originally developed by psychologist Marsha Linehan in the late 1970s and 1980s, it was initially designed to treat chronic suicidality in people with borderline personality disorder (BPD). Since then, its reach has expanded significantly.

“Dialectical” means trying to understand how two things that seem opposite could both be true. For example, accepting yourself and changing your behavior might feel contradictory, but DBT emphasizes that you can achieve both.

DBT focuses on four core skill areas:

Mindfulness

Distress Tolerance

Emotion Regulation

Interpersonal Effectiveness

Treatment involves individual therapy sessions, group skills sessions, or phone coaching with therapists between sessions. It aims to help people develop skills they can use in their daily lives to effectively manage emotions, maintain or improve interpersonal relationships, tolerate distress, and avoid behaviors that are detrimental to their quality of life.

Best for: Borderline personality disorder, self-harm, suicidal ideation, eating disorders, depression, PTSD, and substance use disorders. In fact, the most effective treatment for borderline personality disorder is DBT.

Read More

Find Out Why DBT Is Not Just for Borderline Personality Disorder

EMDR: Healing Trauma Without Reliving Every Detail

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) may be one of the most misunderstood therapies, but it’s one of the most effective and well-researched trauma treatments available. Some studies found that 84–90% of single-trauma victims can no longer experience post-traumatic stress disorder after three 90-minute sessions.

The premise is rooted in how the brain stores traumatic memories. EMDR trauma therapy helps clients reprocess distressing memories that remain “stuck” in the nervous system, often driving symptoms such as hypervigilance, intrusive thoughts, emotional dysregulation, and avoidance. During a session, a therapist guides you through recalling a distressing memory while engaging in bilateral stimulation, such as guided eye movements, tapping, or alternating tones. Over the course of the session, the memory typically loses its emotional charge and becomes integrated as a resolved past event rather than an ongoing emotional threat.

Reliving trauma is very painful, but the advantage of EMDR is that it doesn’t require talking through trauma in detail, making it especially valuable for those who find verbal processing overwhelming.

Best for: PTSD, complex trauma, anxiety, depression, grief, phobias, and abuse recovery.

Close-up of a therapist gently holding a client's clasped hands during a supportive types of therapy session, showing empathy and connection

Psychodynamic Therapy: Exploring the Roots of the Present

How has your past shaped who you are today? This is the question that psychodynamic therapy addresses as its foundational question.

Unlike CBT’s focus on thoughts and behaviors, psychodynamic therapy focuses on acknowledging emotions rather than thoughts and beliefs. It also focuses on understanding avoidance, identifying patterns, interpersonal relationships, and encourages free associations. This means freely speaking about fears, emotions, dreams, desires, and thoughts in a non-judgmental environment to discover unconscious or suppressed feelings.

Sessions tend to be less structured than CBT, with more room for open-ended conversation and self-exploration. This approach is particularly valuable for people who feel that their current struggles are connected to unresolved experiences or relational patterns from earlier in life.

Best for: Depression, anxiety, relationship difficulties, grief, identity challenges, complex trauma, stress, panic, schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder.

Humanistic Therapy: Centering the Whole Person

Humanistic therapy combines several approaches to address the whole person. It blends person-centered therapy (developed by Carl Rogers), Gestalt therapy, and existential approaches to focus on this core perspective: people are inherently capable of growth, and the right therapeutic environment can unlock that potential.

Humanistic therapy focuses on a person’s positive attributes, including their personal characteristics, strengths, and overall drive to self-actualization. The modality focuses on the here and now and encourages the client to take an active role in the therapy process. Really, the therapeutic relationship itself becomes the vehicle for change, which only reiterates the fact that finding the right therapist is crucial to a positive therapy experience.

Best for: Low self-esteem, existential concerns, personal growth, relationship issues, grief, and those who feel unseen or misunderstood in their daily lives. Humanistic approaches are also often woven into other therapy styles as a foundational framework.

Read More: Ready to Find Your Therapist?

How Do You Know Which Type of Therapy Is Right for You?

The truth is: You don’t always know in advance, and that’s okay. Most skilled therapists are trained in multiple modalities and will tailor their approach to your specific needs, history, and goals. The most skilled therapists have a diverse toolkit of methods they can draw from, adapting their approach to match each person’s unique needs, interests, and developmental stage.

That said, going in with some knowledge gives you the ability to ask meaningful questions. When looking for the right therapist, or during your next session, try asking your therapist these questions:

1.  What approaches do you use for [anxiety/trauma/depression]?

2.  Are you trained in CBT, DBT, or EMDR?

3.  How structured will our sessions be?

4.  What experience do you have working with people with my cultural background?

5.  How will we know if it’s working?

Asking these questions will help you find the right fit for your healing journey, and a good therapist will welcome them.

Read More: See Why Varied Therapeutic Training Is Important to Member Anna Aslanian

A Quick Reference: Therapy Types and What They Address

There are so many therapeutic approaches out there, and we’ve only covered a few. Still, here’s a breakdown of the theories we discussed and what they can help support:

Therapy Type

Commonly Used For

CBT

Anxiety, depression, OCD, PTSD, eating disorders

DBT

BPD, self-harm, intense emotions, eating disorders

EMDR

Trauma, PTSD, abuse, grief, phobias

Psychodynamic

Depression, relational patterns, identity, grief

Humanistic

Self-esteem, personal growth, existential concerns

Taking the Next Step

Understanding these approaches is the first step in building a better you. Finding the right therapist is a significant part of improving your mental health, but you don’t have to do it alone. GoodTherapy’s therapist directory allows you to filter by therapy type, specialization, location, and more, so you can find someone who truly fits your needs.

If you’re still exploring whether therapy is right for you, our blog on what to expect in your first therapy session can help you get started.

Remember, reaching out is not a sign that something is irreparably wrong with you. It’s a sign that you know your well-being is worth investing in.

Ready to Find the Right Therapist for You?

GoodTherapy’s directory lets you filter by therapy type, specialization, location, and more.

Take Our Therapy Quiz to Find Your Fit

Resources

GoodTherapy | Talking to Your Boomer Parents About Therapy

Talking to Your Boomer Parents About Therapy 

While the stigma surrounding mental health has dissipated in recent years, many members of society — and the older generation, in particular — are still reluctant to seek out the help they need. 

For example, one recent study found that while two out of every three baby boomers live with mental health issues, many brush them off entirely. More specifically, 27 percent don’t tell anyone about their symptoms, and 22 percent believe that these conditions aren’t serious. 

This makes perfect sense given that boomers, who were born between 1946 and 1964, grew up in a time when mental illness was generally a taboo topic. Many of this generation were raised to think that it was wrong to talk about perceived “weaknesses” and that they should toughen up and deal with these issues internally.  

Unfortunately, this isn’t the best approach.  

If you’re wondering how to deal with a parent with mental illnesses, you’ve come to the right place. Before we examine what you can do, specifically, to encourage your parents to give therapy a try, let’s take a step back and take a look at some of the major drivers of mental health issues in baby boomers. 

What Causes Mental Health Issues in Baby Boomers? 

While some baby boomers might have struggled with mental health illnesses their whole lives, others may develop new conditions as time goes on. 

Here are some of the most common conditions boomer parents face — as well as some of the reasons why they come to the surface in the first place: 

In addition to these, boomers can also deal with interpersonal struggles as their relationships take on new dynamics. For example, a father’s “little girl” might be 50 all of a sudden, raising a family of her own while also taking care of dad as a member of the sandwich generation. In such a scenario, it can be difficult for some dads to understand how the father-daughter relationship has changed and respond appropriately to the associated developments. 

The good news is that — though aging boomer parents might develop mental illnesses — all hope isn’t lost. 

If you’re caring for aging parents with mental illness or other issues, here are some tactics you can use to help your parents sit down with a geriatric mental health counselor and get treatment. 

How to Deal with a Parent with Mental Illness 

Ensuring your loved one gets the help they need to keep their condition in check or even conquer it altogether starts with getting your mom or dad to buy into the promise of therapy. And this means that you will have to be direct with them and confront them on the issue sooner than later. 

For the best results, approach the situation with love and be as supportive as you possibly can. At the end of the day, you have to remember that you can’t force anyone to go to therapy if they absolutely don’t want to go — which means it might take some convincing to get boomer parents to finally oblige. 

As you begin making your pitch, tell your parents that while you respect their autonomy and everything they’ve done for you over the years, you’re sensing some issues they’re dealing with, and you love them and want to do everything you can to help them live their best lives. Gently suggest that they might want to consider talking to an experienced therapist about their issues a couple times to see whether the experience is worthwhile. 

No one has a better idea about how Mom or Dad might react better than you. At this stage in the conversation, you’ll want to be as empathetic as possible, turning on your active listening skills to really see things from their perspective and fully understand the emotions they’re dealing with. Don’t judge them and don’t give them advice. Just listen to understand. Once they feel thoroughly understood, the idea of therapy might not seem so outlandish anymore, and they might agree to check it out. 

Don’t Forget About Your Own Mental Health! 

Dealing with aging parents is not an easy time. Roles get reversed, health declines, and you’re increasingly tied up with work and kids.  

As you begin the process of convincing your boomer parent to sign up for therapy sessions, keep in mind that you yourself might benefit from therapy during this time, too. As an added bonus, you can use the fact that you’re using therapy as another arrow in the quiver for convincing them to give it a shot. 

Before moving the conversation forward, start searching for local therapists for you and your parents ahead of time. That way, you’re ready with a recommendation when your parents ultimately agree to try therapy. 

Whatever you decide, here’s to getting the treatment you both need to have a fantastic relationship for years to come! 

 

Therapy Lingo: "What Is an Initial Mental Health Consultation?"

What Is Involved in an Initial Mental Health Consultation?

If you’re looking for a therapist, you may have noticed phrases like “initial consultation” or “initial mental health consultation.” Are you about to attend your first mental health consultation, or curious about what an initial consultation entails? We figured. Read on to learn all about it. 

Your first conversation with a new mental health provider is exciting. You are taking significant steps to manage your mental health and conquer your goals. A mental health consultation is a perfect time to assess whether or not someone is a right-fit therapist for you. Consider this initial consultation an opportunity to “try them out” – see if you “click” with them, share your goals, and pay attention to how they talk about what you share.

Is this someone you want as an ally on your personal journey? Do they share insights that resonate with your values? Does their approach to therapy work with what you want to get out of the experience? The initial consultation will help you think through these questions. 

What to Expect from an Initial Consultation

Your first conversation with a new mental health provider is exciting. You are taking significant steps to manage your mental health and conquer your goals. A mental health consultation is a perfect time to assess whether or not someone is a right-fit therapist for you. Consider this initial consultation an opportunity to “try them out” – see if you “click” with them, share your goals, and pay attention to how they talk about what you share.

Initial consultations often take place over the phone or video chat and typically run anywhere from 10-30 minutes, depending on the provider. During this time, you’ll get to know the therapist and their practice. They’ll most likely have some questions for you about what you’re looking for, what your concerns are, and what your schedule looks like. They’re trying to assess whether or not they are well-suited to helping you with your concerns. But this is also an opportunity for you to find out what you want to know.

Is this someone you want as an ally on your personal journey? Do they share insights that resonate with your values? Does their approach to therapy work with what you want to get out of the experience? The initial consultation will help you think through these questions. Choosing the right therapist is an important aspect of getting what you need, and it’s worth the effort to prepare a bit before your initial consultation. 

How to Prepare for an Initial Mental Health Consultation

Write Down Your Concerns

The first thing you can do to prepare for your mental health consultation is to write down your concerns. Your list might include symptoms you’re experiencing, difficulties you’re facing, or issues you’d like to explore. Having this list in front of you during an initial consultation will help you ensure you mention everything that you want to bring up with the therapist. Trying to come up with or recall all that information on the spot can be difficult. 

Prepare to Ask Questions

Asking questions is a great tool to help you decide if a therapist is a good fit during your initial mental health consultation. While the therapist will certainly have questions to ask you, too, having some prepared to ask them will help you learn the information that is important to you. 

7 Questions to Ask Your Therapist

#1 What is your specialty?

Most therapists have multiple specialties (or types of therapy and client concerns they specialize in). This does not necessarily mean their specialties cover your specific needs. For example, if someone battling addiction is seeking the help of a mental health professional, the provider needs to have experience in that area in order to be effective.

#2 How long have you been practicing? Tell me about your experience. 

Listening to a therapist talk about their experience will help you understand what they’ve seen and what they can help with. It’s important to note that many therapists have a variety of experiences that are relevant to their practice, both professionally and personally. 

#3 How much will I pay? 

While more and more therapists are accepting insurance, many don’t – and almost all will accept private-pay clients. One perk of private-pay options is that your therapist doesn’t have to submit a mental health diagnosis to an insurance company. Make sure to ask them about their fees, sliding-scale opportunities, and any pre-paid, discounted, multi-session packages they may offer so you can make the arrangements you need to cover the cost of therapy. 

#4 How often will we meet?

The therapist might have an idea in mind for the frequency of your therapy sessions. This may differ depending on your needs, and will likely be subject to change based on your progress. 

#5 What will my treatment plan look like?

Is there a concrete treatment plan that they want you to follow? This is important for helping you stay engaged and setting expectations for your work together. If you’re interested in a specific type of therapy this provider offers, like EMDR or Brainspotting, now is a great time to bring it up. 

#6 Do you assign homework? 

Many therapists will give their clients “homework,” or things to work on in-between visits. Therapy homework may include techniques to try, exercises to practice, and coping strategies to use.

#7 I want to work with you. What happens next? 

If you’ve made up your mind and decided to go with this therapist after your initial mental health consultation, you should ask what the next steps are going to include. These next steps may include “homework,” coordinating with your insurance, scheduling your first therapy session, and more.

The Value of an Initial Consultation

If you decide to work with a therapist after an initial consultation, that’s great, but even if you decide they’re not the best fit for you, your time was not spent in vain. It’s very helpful to find this out before you settle on a therapist, and if you have concerns that are outside this particular therapist’s scope of practice, they may have recommendations for you of therapists who do work with folks that have your sort of concerns. 

Many therapists offer this initial mental health consultation for free. To find someone in your area who offers this, click here to search by zip code or city and then filter your results by Pricing>Free Initial Consultation. 

Person holding lamp out ahead walks through dark areaPursuing psychotherapy is a brave endeavor indeed. Many people make this choice when they find themselves in a dark place and are unable to see any light ahead of them.

In order to even begin the process of finding a therapist, you may first have to confront societal and internal judgments (“I must be sick.” “What’s wrong with me that I need to do this?” and so on). After that, you then find yourself attempting to choose a complete stranger who you will entrust with your innermost thoughts. If you haven’t sought therapy before, you may feel overwhelmed and as if you are stepping into the unknown. You might feel anxious or afraid and be unsure of the best way to proceed.

If you are experiencing serious distress, you may have gone as far as you can by yourself, or with the support of friends and family, and done as much as possible in order to improve on your own. You may feel as if you have no further choice beyond therapy.

Whatever your reasons for choosing therapy, however you get to the therapy office, I have a tremendous faith in the psychotherapeutic process. When a therapist and the person seeking help can earnestly work together to explore the person’s inner world, utilizing the contact made between the two of them (the therapeutic relationship), greater insight and an increased ability to address and work through inner conflicts is likely, and maturation often follows.

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I don’t think that every therapy process is successful, however. A number of unconscious forces may be at work, in either the person seeking help or the therapist attempting to help them, and any of these might effectively derail therapy.

Keeping the following eight points in mind, from the time you begin therapy and throughout the process, may help you make the best of your choice to seek help—and get the most out of your therapy sessions.

1. Therapy starts when you decide to seek therapy.

Take your search for a therapist seriously. Try to get a few names of potential therapists you can then interview. Taking the time to be thorough and control your search better enables you to find the therapist who fits you best, not only with regard to the specific issues bringing you to therapy, but also with regard to your personality and identity.

Some mental health professionals offer a first consultation over the phone, free of charge. Take advantage of this, if possible. You may be able to get a feel for their manner and personality, and at the very least, rule out some who may not be ideal for you and your needs.

2. Allow yourself the time to assess the fit of your therapist.

If you are in distress, you may be anxious to begin therapy and alleviate some of what you are struggling with. This is a common feeling. You might want to just choose a therapist at random and fall right into the process of therapy. While this can work for some people, it is often best to consider the first few sessions as a mutual assessment and use them to get a felt sense of whether this therapist not only listens, but hears what you have to say, and if this is a helping professional you feel comfortable with. Doing so is likely to greatly increase the chances for a good therapeutic alliance and eventually, success with treatment.

That being said, listen to your gut. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s generally best to move on in your search.

3. Take some time in the beginning to think about your goals for therapy.

Although therapy can take unexpected twists and turns, you can establish a more definitive direction to continue to assess the therapy if you establish goals in the beginning and keep these in mind throughout your work with a therapist. Goals might include minimizing painful symptoms, gaining insight, or pursuing transformation, among others. Regardless of what goals look like for you, they can often serve as a guide when therapy seems aimless.

Regardless of the number of therapy sessions you attend each week, you can maximize the benefits of treatment if you take the time to reflect on what you talked about in the session and—even more importantly—what you felt during and after each session.

4. Share your doubts, fears, concerns, and hopes.

You might be surprised to learn many people don’t share their doubts, fears, concerns, or even hopes with their therapist, perhaps because doing so might feel scary. But I say it can be well worth the risk! These feelings are deep expressions of you, and they can help your therapist know your particular vulnerabilities and become more informed about what you need from your therapy.

If your therapist reacts negatively to these feelings, this is often a red flag they might not be a good fit for your needs.

5. Talk to others who are receiving or have received “good” therapies.

It can be helpful to talk to friends or family members who have had a positive therapy experience. It’s possible to discuss this without exchanging details that may be too personal or private. You might simply ask what helped them most in their experience, or what detail(s) made their therapist a good fit. Although every therapeutic relationship will be unique, there are some universal aspects of good therapy you can look for.

6. If you don’t like something your therapist says, tell them. If you really like something your therapist says, tell them.

It is very possible that, if you are suffering or experiencing distress as an adult, your injuries were originally sustained within the context of your early relationships with caretakers. Thus, opportunities for healing are often greatest within the context of a relationship. Because of this, it is important to share feelings of hurt, anger, or disappointment, along with more positive feelings, with your therapist. This feedback is helpful, and can be essential, as it helps your therapist get to know you better and gain greater understanding of what you need from therapy.

7. Try to reflect on each session in between sessions. Share those thoughts with your therapist.

Regardless of the number of therapy sessions you attend each week, you can maximize the benefits of treatment if you take the time to reflect on what you talked about in the session and—even more importantly—what you felt during and after each session. These feelings often communicate something important about what is happening on an unconscious level during the therapy process.

8. Reflect on your goals from time to time during the therapy.

Use your goals as signposts from time to time. Beyond simply keeping them in mind, take the time to really consider them. Checking in on how things are going, with yourself and with the therapist, can be helpful. Doing so can allow you to recalibrate with your therapist, if necessary, in order to stay on course.

Therapy can be a lengthy process. It may be difficult at times, but keeping these tips in mind can help you increase your chances of success and make it more likely you will find the challenge of seeking treatment to be a rewarding one. Therapy can work for you, as much as you work for it.

I wish you the best in your therapeutic endeavors.

Important Notice

GoodTherapy is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, medical treatment, or therapy. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding any mental health symptom or medical condition. Never disregard professional psychological or medical advice nor delay in seeking professional advice or treatment because of something you have read on GoodTherapy.