The exponential improvement and integration of AI into our personal and professional lives has been almost startling. Like the cell phone, the Internet, and ATM cards, AI is here to stay.

The Wall Street Journal (Bindley & Blunt, 2024) reports that companies now assess AI fluency during hiring, and annual reviews increasingly factor in how well employees use AI to increase productivity and cut costs. Some organizations even award bonuses to those who help others work smarter.

When I recently rescheduled a medical appointment with an AI agent, efficient, courteous, and surprisingly “human,” I wasn’t put off at all. That moment clarified something important: the question is no longer whether AI will change your life. It already has.

1 in 3 workers report anxiety about being replaced by AI

85% of companies factor AI fluency into performance reviews

∞ new roles being created for those who adapt to AI

AI as a Perceived Threat to My Job and Personal Life

Many people understandably perceive AI as a threat to their jobs and way of life. But how a person responds to a perceived threat matters enormously. Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) offers a clear lens: you can react in a healthy, self-enhancing way or an unhealthy, self-defeating one.

“

AI is a tool like a scalpel. Either you learn how to use it, or you will get cut by it.

— REBT Perspective

We are not stopping this wave. The goal is to manage your emotional reaction to the profound changes AI will introduce, so you don’t get left behind.

Feeling overwhelmed by rapid change? A therapist trained in cognitive behavioral approaches can help you build the flexibility to adapt. Find a therapist near you.

How to Turn AI Anxiety into Healthy Concern

REBT distinguishes between healthy concern, which motivates us to cope, and unhealthy anxiety, which leads to avoidance and retreat. When the stakes are high, it is easy to slip from concern into anxiety, especially when we hold rigid attitudes toward change.

Two Paths Forward

How you respond to AI’s rise determines your outcome

✗ Unhealthy Anxiety ✗Avoids learning new tools ✗Rigid “this must not happen” thinking ✗Catastrophizes job loss ✗Trades future security for short-term comfort

✓ Healthy Concern ✓Engages and prepares proactively ✓Flexible “I can adapt” mindset ✓Accepts change as inevitable ✓Invests in skills that compound over time

Four Common AI Anxiety Traps and How REBT Reframes Them

Below are four rigid attitudes that fuel AI anxiety, each paired with a healthy, flexible alternative.

1	Job Security

“AI will steal my role at work”

âš  Anxiety-Provoking AI will steal my knowledge and my role. That must not happen.

✓ Healthy Alternative AI will change what employers need, but the only constant is change. By mastering AI as a tool, I can flourish in an AI-driven economy.

2	Obsolescence

“It will be awful if AI makes me obsolete”

âš  Anxiety-Provoking It will be awful when I am made obsolete in the workplace by AI.

✓ Healthy Alternative It would be quite bad, but layoffs have happened before. I will accept reality, study AI, and commit to becoming the go-to person in my organization.

3	Future Fear

“It’s too threatening to think about surviving an AI world”

âš  Anxiety-Provoking It is too threatening to think about how I will survive in an AI-run world.

✓ Healthy Alternative It is uncomfortable, but not unbearable. With psychological flexibility, I can adapt to whatever the future holds.

4	Relationships

“AI companions will make human relationships obsolete”

âš  Anxiety-Provoking AI companions could make human intimate relationships obsolete. This is awful.

✓ Healthy Alternative A tool or service is just that. Proceed with an open mind and healthy skepticism. Perhaps it is not either/or, but both/and.

The inner critic can amplify AI anxiety. Learning to quiet rigid self-talk is a powerful skill. Read: Silencing the Inner Critic: The Power of Self-Compassion

A 3-Step REBT Reset for AI Anxiety

When anxious thoughts about AI arise, use this simple process to shift from rigid fear to flexible action.

1	Notice the Thought Catch the rigid belief: “AI will destroy my career and that must not happen.” You cannot challenge what you cannot see.

2	Dispute the Belief Ask: “Is this thought realistic? Helpful? Is there evidence for it?” Most catastrophic AI fears are exaggerated and unprovable.

3	Replace with a Flexible Belief Adopt a balanced alternative: “Change is difficult, but I have adapted before. I can learn AI tools and protect my value.”

Ways to Use AI Effectively

Below are some of the ever-expanding ways you can put AI to work in your professional and personal life, generated with the assistance of ChatGPT to illustrate the practical range of AI applications (OpenAI, 2023).

Productivity and Knowledge Work

Research Summarize articles, suggest sources, and generate bibliographies in seconds.	Drafting & Editing Draft emails, reports, or essays, then refine for clarity and style.	Learning & Tutoring Explain complex concepts and offer personalized feedback in any subject.
Data Analysis Analyze datasets, identify trends, and visualize information for professional projects.	Time Management Optimize calendars, set reminders, and automate routine tasks.	Emotional Support AI chatbots offer empathetic conversation for those seeking nonjudgmental interaction.

Creative and Visual Work

AI is reshaping creative fields in profound ways. Tools like DALL·E, Midjourney, and Stable Diffusion open new possibilities for anyone willing to engage with them.

Image Generation Create original visuals from text descriptions using DALL·E, Midjourney, or Stable Diffusion.	✨ Style Transfers Apply artistic styles to photos, upscale low-resolution images, or restore old photographs with AI tools.
Design Assistance Generate logos, concept art, and visual mockups that speed up the creative design process significantly.	Creative Brainstorming Artists increasingly use AI as an ideation partner to explore new visual concepts before committing to final work.

A Practical Checklist: Using AI Responsibly

AI Usage Best Practices

Work smarter, stay ethical, and protect yourself in the process.

✓	Be specific with prompts. Detailed instructions yield better, more useful results.
✓	Verify information. Always fact-check AI output, especially for sensitive topics.
✓	Use AI as a tool, not a replacement. It enhances, not replaces, your critical thinking.
✓	Protect your privacy. Avoid sharing sensitive personal data with AI tools.
✓	Stay ethical. Do not use AI to plagiarize, deceive, or create harmful content.
✓	Iterate and refine. Rephrase prompts and ask follow-up questions when results miss the mark.
✓	Understand limitations. AI may make mistakes, misunderstand context, or lack current knowledge.
✓	Stay informed. Keep up with AI developments to use the latest features and best practices.

★ Key Insight

By leveraging AI, adaptive individuals can increase productivity, enhance creativity, improve a wide range of skills, and make more informed decisions.

Adopt flexible, non-extreme attitudes toward the changes AI will bring. Nothing is constant but change.

Looking for support in navigating change? A therapist can help you build the psychological flexibility to adapt and thrive. Learn how to find the right therapist.

Frequently Asked Questions

Common questions about AI anxiety and how to cope with it.

Q: Is it normal to feel anxious about AI?

A: Yes. AI anxiety is a widely reported response to rapid technological change. REBT and other evidence-based approaches can help you shift from rigid, extreme reactions to flexible, adaptive ones.

Q: Will AI really take my job?

A: AI is changing roles across many industries but also creating new ones. People who learn to work with AI are more likely to stay relevant. The biggest risk is avoidance, not AI itself.

Q: What is REBT and how does it help with AI anxiety?

A: REBT helps people identify and challenge rigid beliefs that cause emotional distress. Applied to AI anxiety, it replaces catastrophic thinking with flexible attitudes: “This is challenging, but I can adapt and thrive.”

Q: What are practical first steps to overcome AI anxiety?

A: Start small. Spend 15 minutes a day exploring an AI tool like ChatGPT. Curiosity is the antidote to fear. The more you engage, the less threatening AI becomes.

Q: When should I seek professional support for technology-related anxiety?

A: If anxiety about AI is interfering with your work, relationships, or daily life, speaking with a therapist can help. Find a therapist near you.

Resources

	NIMH: Anxiety Disorders Overview	→
	APA: Anxiety – What You Need to Know	→
	APA: Building Your Resilience	→
	GoodTherapy: Silencing the Inner Critic with Self-Compassion	→
	GoodTherapy: How to Find the Right Therapist	→

About the Author Walter Matweychuk, PhD Licensed Psychologist & REBT Specialist Dr. Walter Matweychuk is a licensed psychologist and one of the foremost practitioners of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) in the United States. He trained directly under Dr. Albert Ellis, the pioneering psychologist who developed REBT, and worked at the Albert Ellis Institute in New York for many years. He teaches graduate psychology courses at New York University and works at the University of Pennsylvania. In his private practice in New York City, Dr. Matweychuk helps individuals and couples overcome anxiety, depression, and relationship challenges using the evidence-based principles of REBT. View Profile >

References:
Bindley, K., & Blunt, K. (2026, Feb. 24). Tech Firms Aren’t Just Encouraging Their Workers to Use AI. They’re Enforcing It. The Wall Street Journal.

The holidays inevitably bring a mix of emotions as we shuffle from social events to family gatherings. While fun is there to be had, expectations, financial strain, and social obligations can easily become overwhelming. With a bit of planning and mental rehearsal though, you can approach the holidays feeling grounded and prepared. 

What is the DBT Cope Ahead Skill? 

“Cope Ahead” is a skill from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) that helps us prepare for emotionally challenging situations (Linehan, 2015). By identifying potential stressors, planning responses, and visualizing positive outcomes, Cope Ahead helps build emotional resilience and a greater sense of control. 

Guide to Using Cope Ahead for the Holidays 

Step 1: Identify Potential Stressors 

Start by considering which parts of the holiday season might be most challenging for you.  

• Family Dynamics: Family gatherings often bring up old conflicts or unresolved issues. Maybe you know that one family member will bring up a touchy topic. 

• Social Overwhelm: Holiday parties and events can be draining, especially if you’re introverted and/or prone to social anxiety (Kabat-Zinn, 1994). 

• Financial Pressure: Gift-buying, hosting, and travel can put a strain on finances. 

• Travel and Logistics: Crowded airports, weather-related flight delays, tight schedules, and leaving the comfort zone of home can add stress. 

• Loneliness or Isolation: If you’re spending the holidays by yourself or dealing with loss, feelings of loneliness may be magnified. 

Take a few minutes to jot down specific holiday situations you anticipate might be stressful. This will help you focus on the most relevant coping strategies (Linehan, 2015). 

Step 2: Envision the Challenging Situations 

With your list of potential stressors, it’s time to imagine each situation in detail. This step isn’t about stressing yourself out! Instead, the goal is to become familiar with each setting and any possible challenges, reducing the element of surprise and helping you feel more in control when the moment comes (Linehan, 2015). 

Summon up in your mind the sights, sounds, and people involved. How might things unfold? 

• Picture yourself at a family dinner, and imagine relatives getting into the same old arguments. What would that feel like? 

• Visualize the atmosphere of a busy holiday party—maybe there’s loud music, people talking over each other, and limited space. 

• Imagine yourself in a crowded airport, waiting for a delayed flight with people squeezed into every seat.

Step 3: Identify Emotions and Reactions 

Now, think about the emotions each situation might bring up. 

• Anxiety about being judged or criticized. 

• Frustration about unresolved family issues. 

• Sadness if you’re missing someone who won’t be there this year. 

• Overwhelm from balancing social commitments, logistics, and personal needs. 

Identifying these emotions ahead of time lets you prepare for how they might surface in the moment. For example, if you expect to feel anxious at a gathering, you can plan a specific coping technique to handle that anxiety when it arises (Linehan, 2015; Kabat-Zinn, 1994). 

Step 4: Plan Coping Strategies 

With potential emotions in mind, it’s time to choose coping strategies that feel realistic and supportive.  

• Mindfulness: Practicing mindfulness during a gathering can help you stay grounded. Try focusing on sensory details—like the taste of food or the texture of your clothes—to keep your attention in the present moment (Kabat-Zinn, 1994). 

• Breathing Exercises: Deep, slow breathing can help reduce anxiety and keep you calm. 

• Boundaries: If you anticipate certain family members bringing up sensitive topics, consider planning a polite but firm way to set boundaries. You might even step outside for a breather if things feel intense (Linehan, 2015). 

• Visual Cues: Consider bringing a small item, like a bracelet or keychain, as a subtle reminder of your intention to stay calm and composed. 

• Breaks: Schedule short breaks throughout your day, especially if you’re prone to social fatigue. These can be quick trips outside, a few minutes in a quiet room, or even a trip to the restroom to take a few deep breaths and reset.  

Choose one or two strategies for each scenario you envisioned in Step 2. Writing them down can help you commit to these plans and serve as a helpful reference if you need it later. 

Step 5: Mental Rehearsal 

This final step is all about visualization. Imagine yourself successfully managing each situation, using your chosen coping strategies. Picture yourself staying calm, politely asserting boundaries, or taking a needed breather. Mentally rehearsing these responses helps you feel more confident and ready when the real scenarios come up and emotions rise (Linehan, 2015). 

When we rehearse in our minds, we’re essentially practicing for the actual event. Spend a few minutes each day running through this mental rehearsal, especially in the days leading up to holiday events. 

Tips for Maximizing the Effectiveness of Cope Ahead 

• Practice Regularly: Start using the Cope Ahead skill a few weeks before the holidays so it feels more natural. 

• Keep a Backup Plan: Have extra coping strategies in mind for unexpected stressors. Flexibility can make a big difference. 

• Be Kind to Yourself: Remember, it’s okay to have mixed emotions. Self-compassion is an essential part of managing holiday stress (Neff, 2011). 

• Enlist Support: Share your plans with a trusted friend or therapist who can offer support or accountability (Linehan, 2015). 

Conclusion: Embracing a Mindful and Prepared Approach to the Holidays 

Using the DBT Cope Ahead skill offers a proactive way to manage holiday stress and emotions. By identifying potential stressors, planning your responses, and mentally rehearsing, you’ll approach holiday gatherings with greater confidence and resilience. This season, focus on enjoying the moments that matter most, knowing you’re ready to handle the challenges calmly and with intention. 

References 

• Kabat-Zinn, J. (1994). Wherever you go, there you are: Mindfulness meditation in everyday life. Hyperion. 

• Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT skills training manual (2nd ed.). Guilford Press. 

• Neff, K. D. (2011). Self-compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself. William Morrow. 

 

When life throws you difficult or distressing situations, it can be hard to know how to navigate them. Let’s look at coping skills for your daily life.

One of our most powerful coping tools is learning coping skills and understanding coping mechanisms.

These strategies involve taking action or changing a situation rather than avoiding the emotion or problem altogether.

By understanding coping skills and how to use them in your daily life effectively, you can better manage difficult emotions in a healthy way. In this blog post, we’ll discuss coping mechanisms, different coping strategies, and tips for finding coping methods that work best for you. Let’s get started!

RELATED GOODTHERAPY ARTICLE: 7 Strategies for Coping with Stress at Work

What Are Coping Skills?

Coping skills are coping mechanisms that help us to manage stress and emotions. They can be either short-term coping strategies that help us in the moment, such as deep breathing or counting to ten. Or they can be longer-term coping strategies that involve changing our lifestyles and behavior patterns.

Everyone has different coping skills; some people may find yoga or meditation helpful for calming down, while others may find listening to music more soothing.

Experimenting with different techniques is important until you find what works best for you!

Coping skills can be a great way to manage your stress levels in daily life, allowing you to handle difficult situations better.

Finding techniques that work for you gives you something reliable to turn to when times get tough.

With the right coping skills, you’ll be able to handle your stress and emotions better, leaving you feeling more in control and ready to take on whatever comes your way. So, try some coping strategies and see what works best for you! You may be surprised at how much of a difference they can make.

RELATED GOODTHERAPY ARTICLE: 12 Surefire Strategies for Coping with Anxiety and Stress

Types of Coping Skills

There are two types of positive coping strategies: active and passive. And then maladaptive coping mechanisms can cause more harm than good.

Active Coping Skills

Active coping skills are different ways that you can use to manage situations that are difficult or stressful. Examples of active coping mechanisms include:

• Problem-solving is breaking down a situation into smaller parts and finding solutions.
• Goal setting is when you set achievable goals for yourself.
• Relaxation techniques involve strategies like deep breathing and mindfulness to help reduce stress.
• Taking action means doing something physical to cope with the situation, like going for a run or playing an instrument.

All these coping mechanisms can be used together to help you manage challenging times!

Passive Coping Skills

Passive coping skills are mechanisms you can use to help manage complex thoughts and feelings. They involve accepting the situation or distracting yourself from it. Examples of passive coping skills include:

• Deep breathing
• Taking a hot bath
• Creating a craft or art piece
• Journaling
• Reading
• Going for a walk
• Listening to music

Maladaptive Coping Mechanisms

Maladaptive coping mechanisms are behaviors that people use to try to cope with difficult situations or emotions. They often feel like helpful solutions, but they can make it harder for you to manage your thoughts and feelings or solve the problem long-term. Examples of maladaptive coping mechanisms include things like:

• Avoiding a problem
• Taking drugs/using alcohol to numb challenging emotions
• Self-harming
• Lashing out against loved ones
• Eating unhealthy food for comfort

The good news is that we can replace these coping strategies with healthier habits.

Instead of avoiding a problem, talk it through with someone you trust. Instead of numbing your emotions with alcohol or other drugs, find healthy ways to express and process your feelings.

Instead of lashing out, take time to cool off and think about how to express your feelings better.

And instead of using food as a coping mechanism, find activities that help to distract or engage you in positive ways.

It’s important to remember that finding healthier coping strategies takes practice and patience, but the effort is worth it!

Taking an active approach to coping with difficult situations and emotions can improve mental health, relationships, and overall well-being.

With support from family, friends, or professionals like therapists or counselors, learning new coping skills can get easier over time. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help if you need it!

Regardless of your coping mechanism, it is essential to remember that it should be used carefully. They should not replace professional help if needed, and it is necessary to be mindful of how your coping strategies affect your overall well-being.

By understanding coping mechanisms and how to use them in your daily life effectively, you can gain skills to help you cope with difficult emotions and navigate challenging situations. With the right coping skills, you can learn to feel more capable of dealing with life’s difficulties daily.

RELATED GOODTHERAPY ARTICLE: 8 Signs It’s Time to See a Therapist

How to Effectively Use Coping Mechanisms

Everyone has their coping mechanism, and no one strategy fits all.

Some people thrive when actively engaging in problem-solving activities, while others may find passive coping methods more effective.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by a complex emotion or situation, it is vital to take some time to reflect on how your coping skills are affecting your overall well-being.

• Are the coping strategies causing further distress?
• Are they helping you feel more balanced and in control of the situation?

Consider talking with a therapist or other mental health experts if you’re not finding the right coping skill. Professional help can provide additional guidance on finding the right coping strategies.

Coping mechanisms can be a powerful tool in managing difficult emotions and navigating challenging situations. Understanding what coping strategies work best for you and your problem is critical.

Five Actions You Can Take Today

1. Try one active and passive coping method before you’re in a stressful situation.
2. Find a trusted friend, family member, or therapist to help you with your strategy.
3. Write down your coping strategy and keep it with you.
4. Read a book to learn more about coping skills.
5. Give yourself some grace when you respond in your “old” way.

The GoodTherapy Registry might be helpful to you. we have thousands of therapists listed with us who would love to walk with you on your journey. Find the support you need today.

Understanding Intergenerational Trauma: An Introduction for Clinicians

January 8, 2021 • By Dr. Fabiana Franco, PhD, DAAETS

by Dr. Fabiana Franco, PhD, DAEETS
Simple trauma describes a single, circumscribed traumatic event (such as an assault). Complex trauma occurs when a person experiences a series of repeated traumatic events or when new, unique traumatic incidents occur such as natural disasters. Complex trauma early in life can damage multiple aspects of the child’s development. Complex trauma may involve entire families in incidents of violence, addiction, or poverty. (1)

Historical Trauma

Historical trauma refers to traumatic experiences or events that are shared by a group of people within a society, or even by an entire community, ethnic, or national group. Historical trauma meets three criteria: widespread effects, collective suffering, and malicious intent (2). Historical Trauma Response (HTR) can manifest as substance abuse, suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, anger, violence, and difficulty in emotional regulation (3)

Intergenerational Trauma

Intergenerational trauma (sometimes referred to as trans- or multigenerational trauma) is defined as trauma that gets passed down from those who directly experience an incident to subsequent generations. Intergenerational trauma may begin with a traumatic event affecting an individual, traumatic events affecting multiple family members, or collective trauma affecting larger community, cultural, racial, ethnic, or other groups/populations (historical trauma). Those affected by intergenerational trauma might experience symptoms similar to that of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), including hypervigilance, anxiety, and mood dysregulation.

Intergenerational trauma was first identified among the children of Holocaust survivors (4), but recent research has identified intergenerational trauma among other groups such as indigenous populations in North America and Australia (3)(5). In 1988, one study showed that children of Holocaust survivors were overrepresented in psychiatric referrals by 300% (6). The subjects were selected based on having at least one parent or grandparent who was a survivor.

Parenting as an Explanation for the Phenomenon of Intergenerational Trauma

While the existence of intergenerational trauma is well documented in multiple studies across several cultures, the mechanisms of transmission of intergenerational trauma remain unclear.

Trauma’s Effects on Parents

Parents may transmit inborn genetic vulnerabilities triggered by their own traumatic experience or via parenting styles that have been impacted by their trauma (7). Trauma survivors face many challenges when they are parents, including difficulty bonding to and creating healthy emotional attachments with their children. Yael Danieli categorized four adaptation styles amongst the families of survivors: Numb, Victim, Fighters, and Those Who Made It. Survivors who become numb seek silence by self-isolating, have a very low tolerance for stimulation of any kind, and are minimally involved in raising their children. Victims fear and distrust the outside world, try to remain inconspicuous, and are frequently depressed and quarrelsome. Fighters focus on succeeding at all costs and retaining an armor of strength, making them intolerant of weakness or self-pity. Those Who Made It are characterized by their pursuit of socio-economic success but also by the ways in which they intentionally distance themselves both from their experience of trauma and from other survivors (8).

Effects on Children

Children experience and understand the world primarily through direct caregivers and are, therefore, profoundly affected by their parents’ modeling. Children both mimic their parents’ behaviors and learn to navigate future relationships based on how they learned to relate to their parents. Enduring coping mechanisms due to the effects of trauma may be forged out of efforts to avoid and/or “fix” a parent’s abusive behavior, anger, depression, neglect, or other problematic behaviors.

GoodTherapy members with Basic, Premium, and Pro memberships are invited to submit articles for the GoodTherapy blog. Not a member yet? Learn more here.

The Great Famine in Ukraine of 1932-1933 and Intergenerational Trauma 

The Holodomor (derived from the Ukrainian “to kill by starvation”‘) is also known as the Famine-Genocide in Ukraine, the Terror-Famine, the Great Famine, or the Ukrainian Genocide of 1932–33. It resulted from deliberate actions on the part of the authorities in Soviet Ukraine who, under the direction of Joseph Stalin, sought to force collectivization on the ethnic Ukrainian peasant population. This resulted in the deaths of millions (11).

In 2010, Brent Bezo conducted a pilot study to understand the generational impact of the Holodomor. Bezo interviewed 45 people from three generations of 15 Ukrainian families. The first generation survived through the Holodomor: the second and third generations were their children and grandchildren.

The study revealed that the coping mechanisms that the direct survivors had developed during the genocide were retained in the family system and passed down to their children and grandchildren. They described living in “survival mode,” including difficulty trusting people, a food-scarcity mentality, low self-worth, hoarding, social hostility, and risky health behaviors (10).

Aboriginal Communities in Canada and Intergenerational Trauma 

Aboriginal communities in Canada suffered from sustained trauma. For generations, Canada tried to forcibly assimilate Aboriginal people by placing them in residential schools, removing children from their families, and generally attempting to eradicate their culture and traditions (5).

The effects of this prolonged trauma have impacted First Nations groups on individual and collective levels, including markedly high rates of depression and self-destructive behaviors compared to the non-Aboriginal population. One of the challenges for mental health professionals working with community members is to understand the effects of intergenerational trauma on their clients, including a well-earned mistrust in the ministries of outsiders.

When Trauma is not Acknowledged – Learning From the Armenian Genocide

Mental health professionals are often unfamiliar with the history of those they seek to treat. Unrecognized and, therefore, unacknowledged traumatic events, such as family trauma or childhood trauma will go on to pose unique challenges for both client and clinician.

Trauma Denied

The Armenian Genocide, during which the Ottoman Turkish Empire massacred 1.5 million Armenians in 1915, is an example of historical trauma that has often been either minimized or denied outright. In fact, the mass murder of Armenians, Assyrian, Greek, and other Christian and religious minority populations of the Ottoman Empire between 1914 and 1923 has yet to be acknowledged as a genocide by the Turkish government (11). It can be especially challenging to cope with an injury while you are still fighting for its acknowledgment a century after it was inflicted. Additionally, due to this lack of formal recognition, Armenian survivors find it difficult to trust non-Armenian mental health professionals with their history and pain (12).

Coping: Family Closeness

Dagirmanjian suggested narrative therapy as a treatment with Armenians (12). Narrative therapy allows survivors to embody and settle into their perception and view of themselves (11). Another important key to working with Armenians is understanding the way Armenians value family closeness. This trait has sometimes been misunderstood and even considered unhealthy by Western clinicians who have been trained to approach family therapy with the goal of promoting individuation (12). In general, it is crucial for the mental health professional to understand the cultural context of the person suffering from trauma, including intergenerational trauma, to provide the most effective and sensitive treatment.

When Trauma Attacks the Core of a Person’s Identity 

Systematic attacks on a person or group’s identity, such as the Holocaust or the Aboriginal experience, are particularly damaging because identity and tradition are essential to perceived meaning in life. Victor Frankl, in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, describes the imperative for people to feel securely connected to meaning in their life: without specific meaning, it is literally impossible to live (13).

In approaching survivors of historical trauma in which the intent was not only to inflict pain or kill but to demean and, ultimately, erase the identity of an entire people, the therapist must be aware that recovery requires the restoration of morale, identity, and purpose.

Culturally-Mindful Interventions

In Canada’s Aboriginal communities, intergenerational trauma treatment is complicated due to high substance use (which is itself likely a sequela of historical trauma). A valuable 2015 study (14) demonstrated the importance of blending Aboriginal and Western healing methods to treat intergenerational trauma when it was associated with substance use disorder among Aboriginal people in Canada (14). A vital element in this approach is reclaiming and recovering Aboriginal identity, including traditions, philosophies, and practices, and adapting them to current circumstances and needs. Programs that enhanced identity through cultural affiliations, increased cultural awareness through healing circles and family involvement, and were strongly influenced by traditional Aboriginal spirituality contributed significantly to decreases in substance use, domestic violence (which are often associated with substance use), and an overall increase in individual and communal healing (14).

The Role of Epigenetics in Intergenerational Transmission of Trauma 

Maternal stress and trauma are associated with health consequences for both mother and child, including low birth weight, fetal growth, and preterm delivery (15). The effect of maternal stress and trauma translate into additional risks for the infant later in life, including hypertension, heart disease, Type II diabetes mellitus, and even cancer (16).

Epigenetics refers to the study of heritable changes in gene expression in response to behavioral and environmental factors that do not change the underlying DNA sequence. In other words, epigenetics is the study of inherited changes in phenotypical properties without a difference in the inherited genetic makeup. Recent studies demonstrate that traumatic events can induce genetic changes in the parents, which may then be transmitted to their children with adverse effects (17).

In 2005, a study conducted to better understand the relationship between the PTSD symptoms of women exposed to the World Trade Center collapse on September 11, 2001, and their infant children’s cortisol levels found lower cortisol levels both in the mothers and their babies (18). Cortisol is a hormone released through the adrenal gland which helps regulate stress response. These findings speak to the importance of factoring epigenetic effects into our evolving understanding of how posttraumatic effects may be transmitted across generations (18).

Take Away Lessons for Mental Health Professionals Treating Intergenerational Trauma 

Intergenerational trauma may be transmitted through parenting behaviors, changes in gene expression, and/or other pathways that we have yet to understand fully. These may be biological, social, psychological, and/or a mixture of all three. As we trace these modes of transmission, practitioners will be better able to match interventions to specific factors that either propagate traumatic effects across generations or mitigate against their transmission. Different sources of intergenerational trauma will likely require different approaches. Innovative treatments for multigenerational trauma that borrow from indigenous cultures, acknowledge historical trauma, connect to group identity, and support survivors in finding meaning and purpose in their experience and that of their family and people are already providing practical tools for practitioners and point the way towards future progress for future generations.

References

(1) Courtois, C. A. (2008). Complex trauma, complex reactions: Assessment and treatment. Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy, S(1), 86-100. Accessed August 24, 2017.

(2) O’Neill L, Fraser T, Kitchenham A, McDonald V (June 2018). “Hidden Burdens: a Review of Intergenerational, Historical and Complex Trauma, Implications for Indigenous Families”. Journal of Child & Adolescent Trauma. 11 (2): 173–186.

(3) Maria Yellow Horse Brave Heart “The historical trauma response among natives and its relationship to substance abuse: A Lakota illustration.” Journal of Psychoactive Drugs 35(1).

(4) Fossion P, Rejas MC, Servais L, Pelc I, Hirsch S (2003). “Family approach with grandchildren of Holocaust survivors”. American Journal of Psychotherapy. 57 (4): 519–27.

(5) Aguiar, W. & Halseth, R. (2015). Aboriginal peoples and Historic Trauma: The processes of intergenerational transmission. Prince George, BC: National Collaborating Centre for Aboriginal Health.

(6) Sigal, J. J., Dinicola, V. F., & Buonvino, M. (1988). Grandchildren of Survivors: Can Negative Effects of Prolonged Exposure to Excessive Stress be Observed Two Generations Later? The Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, 33(3), 207–212.

(7) Bowers, M. E., & Yehuda, R. (2016). Intergenerational Transmission of Stress in Humans. Neuropsychopharmacology: official publication of the American College of Neuropsychopharmacology, 41(1), 232–244.

(8) Danieli, Y. (1981). Differing adaptational styles in families of survivors of the Nazi Holocaust: Some implications for treatment. Children Today, 10: 6-10.

(9) Werth, Nicolas. 2007. “La grande famine ukrainienne de 1932–1933.” In La terreur et le désarroi: Staline et son système, edited by N. Werth. Paris. ISBN 2-262-02462-6. p. 132.

(10) DeAngelis, T. (2019, February). The legacy of trauma. Monitor on Psychology, 50(2). http://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/02/legacy-trauma

(11) Mangassarian, Selina L. (2016). 100 Years of Trauma: the Armenian Genocide and Intergenerational Cultural Trauma, Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 25:4, 371-381

(12) Dagirmanjian, S. (2005). Armenian families. In G. McGoldrick & N. Garcia-Preto (Eds.), Ethnicity and family therapy (pp. 437–450). New York, NY: Guilford.

(13) Frankl, V. E. (1984). Man’s search for meaning: An introduction to logotherapy. New York: Simon & Schuster.

(14) Marsh, T.N., Coholic, D., Cote-Meek, S. et al. Blending Aboriginal and Western healing methods to treat intergenerational trauma with substance use disorder in Aboriginal peoples who live in Northeastern Ontario, Canada. Harm Reduct J 12, 14 (2015).

(15) Dunkel-Schetter, C, Wadhwa, P, & Stanton, AL. (2000). Stress and reproduction: Introduction to the special section. Health Psychol; 19(6): 507-509.

(16) Barker, D. J. P. (1998). Mothers, babies and health in later life (2nd ed,). Edinburgh: Churchill Livingstone.

(17) Yehuda R, Bierer LM (2009). The relevance of epigenetics to PTSD: implications for the DSM-V. J Trauma Stress 22: 427–434.

(18) Yehuda, Rachel, Mulherin Engel, Stephanie, Brand, Sarah R., Seckl, Jonathan, Marcus, Sue M., Berkowitz, Gertrud S., Transgenerational Effects of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder in Babies of Mothers Exposed to the World Trade Center Attacks during Pregnancy, The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism, Volume 90, Issue 7, 1 July 2005, Pages 4115–4118.

GoodTherapy members with Basic, Premium, and Pro memberships are invited to submit articles for the GoodTherapy blog as a part of their membership. Not a member yet? Learn more here.

© Copyright 2021 GoodTherapy.org. All rights reserved. Permission to publish granted by Dr. Fabiana Franco, PhD, DAAETS

Busyness may seem fairly harmless; after all, you are just filling your schedule and accomplishing tasks, and there is nothing inherently wrong with that. However, busyness can take over in ways that may be similar to how an addiction can and prevent you from being present in your own life with those around you.

Here are some signs you might be addicted to busyness and how to address it.

Signs You’re Using Busyness As a Coping Mechanism

1. Your calendar is cluttered or full

Someone who is addicted to being busy may feel a compulsive need to fill up their schedule. They may have difficulty spending time not “doing.” They may feel they are wasting time if they are not scheduling something or constantly have activities waiting in the wings. They may feel most satisfied when they see their calendar is completely full. In order to combat this mentality, it’s important to acknowledge this is a behavior you see in yourself.

Acknowledging the constant desire to fill up your calendar is a good place to start. It may be helpful to look at the function of that behavior. What does it offer you? How do you feel when you see that your schedule is full? What are you getting out of moving from task to task without slowing down? And on the contrary, how do you feel when your schedule is empty? What feelings arise for you when there isn’t another task to complete? Being able to say to yourself what the busyness offers you is a good first step.

2. You’re a social butterfly

Busyness can often cause people to become “social butterflies,” and they may feel a constant need to go from social What feelings arise for you when there isn’t another task to complete? Being able to say to yourself what the busyness offers you is a good first step.engagement to social engagement. These folks may say in passing, “I’m just social” or “I like to go out.” They may have difficulty being alone or spending time with themselves. If this sounds familiar, tune in to this feeling. What is it like to be alone? Connect with that. Does it bring up any other feelings or remind you of anything?

Often, loneliness can remind us of difficult times during our childhood when we felt alone and no one came to be with us, so we take a lot of measures to not have this feeling be present. We try and fill it up with activities. We have to remind ourselves that feeling lonely is okay. We can notice this feeling and let it be what it is. You can practice building up tolerance to being alone by spending larger and large increments of time by yourself and observing how it feels. You can utilize some self-talk and let your body know feeling lonely is normal and that it’s going to be okay.

3. Others mention how busy you seem

Often times, people will tell the busy person that it seems they are always busy or “on the go.” This may seem like an obvious indicator, but busy people may have difficulty recognizing this in themselves, so they need others to say something. If this is the case with you, it may help to ask the loved ones in your life about this. Be curious about what friends and family are telling you. Ask questions. “You say that I am often on the go, what do you mean by that?” “You often say that I am busy, does it feel like I’m present when I’m with you?” “Does it feel like I’m too busy for you?” This will give you a better sense of how your busyness is impacting others.

4. It’s difficult to slow down

That adage “stop and smell the roses” may seem cliché, but it can be hard to do for those who can’t stop being busy. If you find you have difficulty taking in the details of the day—the way your morning coffee tasted, the smile on your co-worker’s face, or the sounds of children playing in your front yard—because you feel like you must go onto the next item, you may be addicted to being busy.

A good next step for this is to slow down as much as possible. Take a deep breath, pause, and notice what’s going on. You can start with your body: what does it feel like inside? Do you observe any tension or tightness? Do you feel happy, sad, lonely, mad, or something else? Where do you feel that feeling in your body? Can you allow it to move through your body?

Next, see if you can move on to tuning in to the experience of others. Slow down and really listen to what they are saying instead of giving a rehearsed response. Can you tune in to what they might be feelings? Can you give yourself the space to really be present with others? Feel your way into what it’s like to be truly present with you family and friends.

Being busy can be a good thing. As humans, we may often have a desire to be productive and use our time well. It’s when the busyness takes over our lives and we stop enjoying living that it’s important to look more closely.

If you feel busyness has become a coping mechanism for you, therapy may help. A licensed mental health professional can show you strategies that allow you to tune in to your inner world, sit with your emotions, and learn healthy ways to cope.

Every day, we are bombarded by situations, people, and feelings that have the potential to stress us out. We all have our own ways of dealing with this stress. Some of them are helpful, others not so much. Stress is complicated and highly personal to the individual who experiences it. Consider what makes you feel stressed out. Have you known other people who aren’t bothered by your stressors and seem to deal with them without much fuss? Do you know people who stress out about things that would never occur to you be a problem? Stress is all about perspective.

The reason people react differently to the same stressor has to do with their experiences. Stress is brought on by triggers or situations/people/emotions that you are particularly sensitive to because of things that have happened in your life.

Take anger, for example: A person who was raised in an unpredictable environment in which anger caused yelling, intimidation, or physical violence will likely react differently to anger than someone who was taught to express anger in a healthy way. Both people may experience a partner being angry with them, but only one of them is likely to be triggered. Another example is infertility. Someone who is struggling with fertility issues may react very differently when they find out a friend is pregnant than someone who conceived naturally. Learning of someone else’s pregnancy may trigger their anxiety, grief, and powerlessness related to infertility.

[fat_widget_right]

You can imagine there are infinite ways individuals are triggered because there is a such a diverse array of circumstances that affect human beings. In addition to the diversity of triggers that exist, there is a broad spectrum of ways people react to their triggers. People tend to develop defense mechanisms, or unconscious reactions that protect them from the pain of their triggers. It is common to be unaware of the presence of these defense mechanisms as well as when they are in use. Many of us have heard or used the term “become defensive” when we feel that someone is trying to protect or defend themselves in an argument instead of listening to the opposing point of view. This often happens when a person is triggered by the subject matter. Even after the trigger has passed, the defense mechanism remains and may impact relationships and work.

As a therapist who works with women and LGBTQ+ individuals with anxiety, trauma, and body image issues, I see my share of defense mechanisms that come out during the course of a therapy session. A therapist is trained to identify and help people work through these defenses, which is critical in making progress on whatever issue brings them to treatment.

There are many different types of defense mechanisms, but the following are five common ones:

Regardless of how emotionally healthy we are, we all have defense mechanisms at play every day.

1. Sense-of-humor type. Laughter is the best medicine, right? Not always! People who use humor when talking about difficult situations are often masking pain underneath. Some people make fun of themselves to prevent others from doing it first. Others create humor-tinged stories around bad situations to avoid acknowledging how much they hurt. There isn’t anything wrong with making light of a struggle, but it’s important to also be able to talk about the darkness related to it.
2. Strong, silent type. You probably know one of these, if you aren’t one yourself. This person is the “rock,” the foundation of the family, the dependable one at work. This defense mechanism causes someone to try to appear strong and stable on the outside, even if they don’t feel that way on the inside. By always taking care of others, the focus never has to be on them because there is always someone in need. Remaining strong and silent not only prevents others from seeing they have pain and vulnerability, it helps the person forget it as well.
3. Laid-back type. This defense mechanism causes people to “go with the flow” or be overly accommodating. Someone who has this defense mechanism is often passive and waits to be told what to do or for someone else to make plans. This defense can mask feelings of inadequacy or lack of confidence needed to make a decision. When someone is laid back and doesn’t have to have an opinion, they don’t run the risk of upsetting someone or being rejected.
4. Perfectionistic type. Believe it or not, perfectionism generally isn’t a good thing—and perfection isn’t possible, anyway. Someone affected by the perfectionistic type of defense mechanism avoids making mistakes or being wrong at all costs. Underneath this defense is an intense fear of being judged or admonished. This defense can lead to a general sense of anxiety because there is always a chance something can go wrong.
5. Passive-aggressive type. Many of us use the term passive-aggressive to describe the behaviors of others, but do you know this behavior stems from a defense mechanism? When someone is passive-aggressive, they are letting others know they are angry or in need of something without doing so directly. Being passive-aggressive is an attempt to get needs met without coming right out with it. It is motivated by fear and avoidance of conflict and anger. Pouting indirectly instead of telling someone what the problem is lets them know something is wrong in a passive-aggressive way. The irony is passive-aggressive behaviors are usually more irritating and cause more anger than being direct.

Again, these behaviors are usually unconscious and people are generally not aware they are engaging in them. Regardless of how emotionally healthy we are, we all have defense mechanisms at play every day. Concerns develop when the defenses negatively impact a person’s life in a significant way. A qualified therapist can help you build your self-awareness, heal past pain and/or trauma, and get you coping in a healthy way with any triggers that come your way.

Self-soothing is as natural to people as breathing. Even as infants, we quickly learn the soothing results of sucking our thumb when our mother’s nipple isn’t available. As we grow, our repertoire expands as our world expands. The soft touch of a flannel blanket or a plush toy may be our next source of comfort and emotional support. For many of us, food and drink are the go-to sources of comfort beyond our bodies.

How many happy memories are attached to good times with family and caregivers? As adults, many of the ways we make ourselves feel better are by invoking those memories through the powerful sense of smell, cooking or consuming old favorites whose aromas awaken a multisensory memory. Holidays and special occasions are built around re-creating many of these old favorites, amplifying the current experience by invoking the past.

Sometimes, however, self-soothing can become a problem. It often seems to happen when there is posttraumatic stress (PTSD) in the background, such that self-soothing behaviors are over-used and become a source of difficulty in and of themselves. Some of the ways people try to cope with the symptoms of PTSD are:

[fat_widget_trauma_ptsd_right]

• Eating
• Substance use
• Exercise
• Self-mutilation

1. Eating

Eating is a way that most of us self-soothe. An ice cream binge is a stereotyped way to deal with a major disappointment. Actually, both over-indulgence and over-abstention can lead to health issues.

While we’re all familiar with overeating as a possible problem, anorexia and bulimia are other ways people can use food to self-soothe. It may seem counterintuitive for someone to restrict the amount of food they take in (or keep in) as a source of self-soothing, but many experts believe this is a way of exercising control over an area of their lives which many people find satisfying as a way of combating PTSD which otherwise leaves them feeling overwhelmed and out of control. Specialists who treat eating disorders have consistently confirmed this observation (Brewerton, 2007).

2. Substance Use

Like eating, drinking to “drown our sorrows” is a well-established cultural meme. While it’s certainly not condoned by health professionals, we all know of mature individuals who have dealt with a major disappointment by overindulging in alcohol. While this can be a slippery slope toward dependency, use of other substances can be even more dangerous. The addictive nature of marijuana is widely overlooked. Drugs such as cocaine, methamphetamine, and opiates are highly addictive, and almost everyone is aware of those dangers. Tobacco use is usually initiated through cigarette smoking, which in addition to the effects of nicotine provides reinforcement through the sucking reflex, the life-giving behavior which supports our earliest efforts to sustain life. (This is why nicotine patches alone often fail to provide relief to people who want to stop smoking.)

What many people do not recognize is that these dangerous methods of self-soothing are usually turned to by people experiencing severe symptoms of PTSD who feel the need for greater comfort. It is believed that 50% to 66% percent of those who experience PTSD symptoms may also have addictive behaviors. There is a tendency to stigmatize people who have this kind of problem as being somehow morally deficient. The truth is, many have undiagnosed and untreated PTSD, usually experienced in childhood.

Running when our knees hurt, lifting weights despite an injury, not giving our bodies time to recover (like exercising seven days a week) are all ways in which we can hurt ourselves while appearing to be pursuing “health.”

3. Exercise

Everyone recognizes the importance of exercise to good health. The more the better, right? Scientists have told us there is almost no limit to the amount of exercise which is good for us—the benefits just keep adding up. However, what they are addressing is healthy, nondestructive exercise: a variety of types of exercise, including stretching, aerobic, and anaerobic exercise like that found in cross-fit regimens and yoga. This type of exercise lowers our blood pressure and improves our cholesterol and sense of well-being. It is frequently prescribed as a component of a complete PTSD recovery program. The latter is supported by the generation of endorphins when we exercise—those hormones which make us feel good after we’ve been exercising for about 20 minutes.

Like anything else which makes us feel better, it’s possible to become dependent on those endorphins and thus exercise to extremes in order to enjoy the benefits. Running when our knees hurt, lifting weights despite an injury, not giving our bodies time to recover (like exercising seven days a week) are all ways in which we can hurt ourselves while appearing to be pursuing “health.” Often, people who exercise in this way may appear to have some sort of obsessive compulsion; my experience with people who behave this way strongly suggests they are dealing with some overwhelming and irrational fear, almost always tied to some childhood trauma which resulted in PTSD.

4. Self-Mutilation

Among the many self-soothing behaviors are various forms of nonlethal self-mutilation. Usually, this takes the form of cutting behaviors. People who do this may repeatedly cut themselves with a sharp instrument, such as a knife or razor. Others may stick themselves with pins or burn themselves.

The explanation given by many people who engage in self-harm is that the pain is a distraction from the extreme emotional discomfort they are feeling. Explanations from those who do this include “to distract from painful feelings” and “to punish themselves” (Gibson & Crenshaw, 2015). Cutting or other self-mutilation gives them a way to exert control, like eating disorders, and distract themselves from their emotional pain. Several studies have found that the vast majority of people who engage in such behaviors have trauma in their background.

Finding Support

There are five types of treatment for PTSD which are recognized by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) as being “evidence-based”: cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), cognitive processing therapy (CPT), prolonged exposure therapy (PET), eye movement desensitization and reprogramming (EMDR), and accelerated resolution therapy (ART). The first three use a combination of education, discussion, and homework to work through the effects of PTSD. They generally require 12 to 20 sessions and are about 70% successful, on average. EMDR uses eye movements and suggestions to deal with trauma; it generally requires eight to 10 sessions and is also about 70% successful, on average. ART uses eye movements and suggestions, requires three to five sessions, and appears to be about 90% successful. As with any treatment, your mileage may vary; there is no one-size-fits-all treatment approach.

If you know someone who is indulging in extreme self-soothing, consider whether they might benefit from one of these types of treatment.

References:

1. Brewerton, T. D. (2007). Eating Disorders, Trauma, and Comorbidity: Focus on PTSD. The Journal of Treatment & Prevention, 15(4).
2. Gibson, L.E., & Crenshaw, T. (2015). Self-harm and trauma: Research findings. Retrieved from https://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/pages/self-harm-trauma.asp
3. Kim, S.H., Kravitz, L., & Schneider, S. (2012). PTSD & Exercise: What Every Exercise Professional Should Know. IDEA Fitness Journal, 9(6).
4. The Link Between PTSD and Substance Abuse/Addiction. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://americanaddictioncenters.org/ptsd/