Ah, love, that magical mix of butterflies, late-night texts, and pretending you actually like their favorite band. At first, everything feels cinematic. But somewhere between “I can’t stop thinking about you” and “Why do you breathe so loud?” something shifts. You might find yourself falling out of love, and it can feel confusing and painful.

It’s not that you suddenly stop caring, it’s that your brain chemistry changes. Falling out of love isn’t just an emotional story; it’s also a biological one rooted in neuroscience and attachment patterns.

The Brain on Love: Nature’s Most Addictive Drug

When you first fall in love, your brain throws a full-blown chemical party. Dopamine (the “pleasure” chemical) lights up your reward system every time you see or hear from your partner. Add a dash of norepinephrine (the excitement hormone) and a heavy pour of oxytocin (the cuddle chemical), and suddenly you’re in the throes of what scientists call “romantic love”, and what your friends call “being obsessed.”

Research published in the journal Brain Sciences confirms that the coordination of oxytocinergic and vasopressinergic pathways, coupled with the dopaminergic reward system, contribute to the formation and maintenance of both maternal and passionate love. Basically, early love is the brain’s version of a chemical binge, all thrill, no chill.

The Come-Down: When the High Wears Off and You Start Falling Out of Love

Unfortunately, the brain can’t keep partying forever. Over time, it adapts, dopamine receptors stop firing at full blast, and that rush of excitement begins to fade. This is called hedonic adaptation, which is science’s polite way of saying, “you got used to it.”

What once made your heart skip now just… exists. You start noticing little annoyances (why do they breathe so loud again?) because your brain isn’t running on pure dopamine anymore. This biological shift is a primary reason why people experience falling out of love, even when they still care deeply about their partner.

Feeling emotionally disconnected from your partner? Learn effective strategies with our article on what couples who stay together do every day to maintain emotional connection.

Stress Enters the Chat: Cortisol Crashes the Party

As the honeymoon glow fades, real life rolls in, bills, chores, emotional baggage, and along with it comes cortisol, the stress hormone. When stress rises, oxytocin (your bonding hormone) drops. The brain’s alarm system, the amygdala, becomes more active, and suddenly your partner’s quirks start feeling like personal attacks.

This isn’t because love disappeared, it’s because stress hijacked the chemistry that keeps you connected. Studies suggest that chronic stress (via cortisol) may disrupt oxytocin and bonding pathways, weakening emotional closeness.

Serotonin and the End of Obsession

When you first fall in love, serotonin levels drop, making you think about your partner constantly. (Yes, love makes you a little obsessive, it’s biology, not madness.) But as the relationship settles, serotonin balances out. The fixation fades, and you start noticing other things: your needs, your goals, your sleep schedule.

That shift can feel like falling out of love, but in many cases, it’s your brain just finding balance again. Understanding this biological reality can help couples normalize what they’re experiencing rather than interpreting it as relationship failure.

Withdrawal: When Love Ends (and It Feels Like You’re Dying)

Breakups, or even emotional distance, can feel physically painful because your brain goes through withdrawal. Those same dopamine and oxytocin pathways that once fired with joy suddenly go quiet. It’s why we crave contact, even when we know it’s not healthy.

But here’s the hopeful part: your brain heals. Through neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to rewire, new sources of connection and joy eventually form. Research on neuroplasticity demonstrates that you really can feel that spark again, sometimes even with the same person.

How Therapy Can Help When You’re Falling Out of Love

Here’s the part many people don’t realize: therapy isn’t just for breakups, it’s for makeups. When you’re experiencing falling out of love, professional support can be transformative.

A good couples therapist can act like a guide for your nervous systems, helping you both learn to connect again instead of defaulting to old defenses. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), which is grounded in attachment theory, has been shown to be highly effective for couples experiencing emotional disconnection.

In therapy, partners experience emotional safety, and that’s when oxytocin (the bonding hormone) starts flowing again. Therapy also helps reduce cortisol (stress) by teaching better communication and emotional regulation skills. Small moments of eye contact, shared laughter, or even vulnerability can reignite dopamine, reminding your brain why you fell in love in the first place.

The Role of Attachment in Falling Out of Love

Research shows that early caregiving experiences shape adult romantic attachment styles (secure, anxious, avoidant, disorganized), which influence how people think, feel, and relate in relationships.

Therapy helps couples move from insecure attachment patterns toward earned secure attachment, where both partners feel safe expressing vulnerability and responding to each other’s needs. This transformation doesn’t just improve feelings, it literally changes brain structure through repeated positive interactions.

The Takeaway: Falling Out of Love Doesn’t Mean Failure

Falling out of love doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it means your brain is doing what it’s designed to do: adapt and seek balance. But just as the brain can unlearn closeness, it can relearn it, too.

With care, curiosity, and sometimes the guidance of a good therapist, the chemistry of love can evolve, not back to the dizzying early rush, but toward something deeper, calmer, and more real. Couples counseling offers multiple pathways to rebuild connection, from improving communication to addressing underlying trauma.

Because love isn’t just a feeling, it’s a relationship between two nervous systems learning to feel safe again. And with the right support, that safety can be rebuilt, one moment of connection at a time.

Neurotransmitters are chemical messengers that carry electrical signals between neurons in the brain. Dopamine and serotonin are two important neurotransmitters for mental health. They affect your mood, memory, sleep, libido, appetite, and more. Imbalances can contribute to addictions, mood conditions, memory issues, and attention difficulties.

Over the past several decades, the world has seen an increase in medications for serotonin and dopamine imbalances. These prescriptions can treat symptoms of many mental health conditions. Yet they have a long list of potential side effects, from dizziness to insomnia. Also, their effectiveness varies from person to person.

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Some people want to try some non-drug treatments before committing to medication. Others take medication but want to supplement it with other strategies. Below are 10 ways to increase dopamine and serotonin that don’t require a pill:

1. Exercise

Regular exercise for at least 30 minutes each day improves one’s overall mood. Research has revealed that long-term cardiovascular exercise boosts serotonin levels in the brain. Serotonin can lower hostility and symptoms of depression. It also encourages agreeableness.

(More: Move for Your Mood: The Power of Exercise to Help Lift Depression)

2. Spend Time in Nature

In previous generations, humans spent most of their time outdoors. These days, many people work indoors, sitting at a desk under artificial lighting. Researchers have found as little as five minutes outdoors in a natural setting can improve mood, increase motivation, and boost self-esteem. The amount of time spent in sunlight correlates with serotonin and dopamine synthesis. Even a brief walk in the park can improve your well-being.

(More: 5 Ways Nature Can Help You Feel Better)

3. Nutrition

Diet can also influence one’s mental health. Coffee increases your serotonin and dopamine levels … for as long as you take it. Once you stop drinking coffee, you will go into withdrawal. Your brain, used to the high levels of neurotransmitters, will act as if there is a deficiency. It can take up to 12 days of caffeine-free diet for the brain to return to its normal state.

Omega-3 fatty acids boost serotonin levels without the withdrawal. They help serotonin trigger nerve cell receptors, making transport easier. Many studies have shown that omega-3s help reduce depressive symptoms. You can find omega-3s in cold-water fish like salmon.

Contrary to internet rumors, eating turkey does not raise your brain’s serotonin levels. Many people think foods rich in tryptophan can boost mood, since the brain uses tryptophan to produce serotonin. However, tryptophan competes with several other amino acids for transportation to the brain. Since it is low on the body’s priority list, it usually loses.

That said, having some tryptophan in your diet is important. If you don’t have enough, your serotonin levels will drop. If you need more tryptophan, you can get it by eating starchy foods like whole wheat bread, potatoes, and corn.

(More: Good Mood Foods to Help Fight Depression, Stress, and More)

4. Meditation

Meditation is the practice of relaxed and focused contemplation. It is often accompanied by breathing exercises. Evidence has shown that meditation increases the release of dopamine. It can relieve stress and create feelings of inner peace.

(More: Stress Reduction: Mindfulness Meditation for Beginners)

5. Gratitude

Scientific research has shown gratitude affects the brain’s reward system. It correlates with the release of dopamine and serotonin. Gratitude has been directly linked to increased happiness.

There have been many studies on a practice called the “three blessings exercise.” Every night for a week, you write down three things you are thankful for. People who complete this exercise tend to report more happiness and less depressive symptoms. Their improved mood can last up to six months.

(More: How a Simple Mason Jar Can Bring More Gratitude to Your Life)

6. Essential Oils

All essential oils come from plants. These oils often have medicinal properties. One study found that bergamot, lavender, and lemon essential oils are particularly therapeutic. Using your sense of smell, they prompt your brain to release serotonin and dopamine.

Note: Always follow the instructions on the bottle’s label. Although essential oils are “natural,” some can be dangerous when misused. Do not let young children play with essential oils.

(More: How Aromatherapy Can Boost Psychological and Physical Health)

7. Goal Achievement

When we achieve one of our goals, our brain releases dopamine. The brain finds this dopamine rush very rewarding. It seeks out more dopamine by working toward another goal.

Larger goals typically come with increased dopamine. However, it’s best to start with small goals to improve your chances of success. Short-term goals can add up to achieve a long-term goal (and a bigger reward). This pattern keeps a steady release of dopamine in your brain.

(More: How Positive Affirmations Can Help You Achieve Your Goals)

8. Happy Memories

Researchers have examined the interaction between mood and memory. They focused on the anterior cingulate cortex, the region of the brain associated with attention. People reliving sad memories produced less serotonin in that region. People dwelling on happy memories produced more serotonin.

(More: Can We Purposefully Make Memories Last Forever?)

9. Novelty

The brain reacts to novel experiences by releasing dopamine. You can naturally increase your dopamine by seeking out new experiences. Any kind of experience will work. You can do something simple like a new hobby or recipe. Or you can try something grand like skydiving. The less familiar you are with the activity, the more likely your brain will reward you with dopamine.

(More: 5 Things on My New Year’s Bucket List for My Kids)

10. Therapy

Research indicates if you change your mood, you can affect serotonin synthesis in your brain. This implies mood and serotonin synthesis have a mutual influence on each other. Psychotherapy often helps people improve their mood. It is possible therapy can help raise one’s serotonin levels as well.

(More: Benefits of Therapy)

While these 10 methods can boost your neurotransmitters, they are not a substitute for medical care. If you have mental health concerns, you should always seek a doctor’s or therapist’s advice. A mental health professional can tell you which approaches are best for your unique situation. There is no shame in taking medication or attending counseling. They are common treatment options among many.

References:

1. Coffee and hormones: Here’s how coffee really affects your health. (n.d.) Precision Nutrition. Retrieved from https://www.precisionnutrition.com/coffee-and-hormones
2. Do you need a nature prescription? (2013, June 19). Retrieved from http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/nature-therapy-ecotherapy
3. Essential oils: Poisonous when misused. (2014). National Capital Poison Center. Retrieved from https://www.poison.org/articles/2014-jun/essential-oils
4. How Do I Increase Serotonin and Dopamine Levels? (2017, August 14). LIVESTRONG Foundation. Retrieved from http://www.livestrong.com/article/301434-how-do-i-increase-serotonin-dopamine-levels/
5. Jenkins, T.A., Nguyen, J.C.D., Polglaze, K.E., & Bertrand, P.P. (2016, January 20). Nutrients, 8(1), 56. Retrieved from http://www.mdpi.com/2072-6643/8/1/56/htm
6. Lv, X.N., Liu, Z.J., Zhang H.J., & Tzeng C.M. (2014). Aromatherapy and the central nerve system (CNS): Therapeutic mechanism and its associated genes. Current Drug Targets, 8(14), 872-879. Retrieved from http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23531112#
7. Novelty and the brain: Why new things make us feel so good. (2013, May 21). Retrieved from https://lifehacker.com/novelty-and-the-brain-why-new-things-make-us-feel-so-g-508983802
8. Omega-3 Fatty Acids and Mood Disorders. (2012). Today’s Dietitian, 14(1), 22. Retrieved from http://www.todaysdietitian.com/newarchives/011012p22.shtml
9. Thankfulness linked to positive changes in brain and body. (2011, November 23). ABC News. Retrieved from http://abcnews.go.com/Health/science-thankfulness/story?id=15008148
10. This is how your brain becomes addicted to caffeine. (2013, August 9). Retrieved from https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/this-is-how-your-brain-becomes-addicted-to-caffeine-26861037/
11. Why our brains like short-term goals. (2013, January 3). Retrieved from https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/225356
12. Young, S.N. (2007). How to increase serotonin in the human brain without drugs. Journal of Psychiatry and Neuroscience, 32(6), 394-399. Retrieved from http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2077351/

What Is Dopamine Deficiency? Low Dopamine Symptoms to Watch For

September 26, 2019 • By Zawn Villines

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter and hormone. As a neurotransmitter, it transmits nerve signals across a synapse. And like other hormones, dopamine helps send messages throughout the body. This means that it plays a key role in the brain’s ability to send certain nerve signals.

Dopamine plays an important role in numerous functions, including motivation, reward, learning, movement, memory, and more. Dopamine deficiency is linked to numerous ailments, including Parkinson’s, schizophrenia, and addiction. However, dopamine deficiency itself is not a medical diagnosis. Furthermore, there is no evidence that supplements which promise to increase dopamine levels offer any measurable benefit.

Dopamine deficiency is linked to numerous ailments, including Parkinson’s, schizophrenia, and addiction.

DOPAMINE: HOW IT WORKS, WHAT IT DOES

Dopamine, like other neurotransmitters, helps carry nerve signals across a synapse. It sends signals that can support feelings of pleasure and motivation. It also supports learning and working memory, enables coordinated movements, and may play a role in attention and concentration.

Dopamine is manufactured in the midbrain, in two separate regions called the tegmental area and substantia nigra. Damage to these brain regions may affect dopamine production. A person may also experience symptoms of low dopamine when their body does not properly respond to dopamine. Drugs that inhibit the reuptake of dopamine allow the brain to access more dopamine, potentially reversing some forms of dopamine deficiency.

Bupropion, a noradrenaline and dopamine reuptake inhibitor, increases dopamine levels in the brain. It is a popular smoking cessation treatment that doctors also prescribe to treat depression and seasonal affective disorder (SAD).

Dopamine is listed on the World Health Organization’s List of Essential Medicines. It can treat several life-threatening conditions, including dangerously low blood pressure and cardiac arrest, especially in newborns.

SIGNS OF LOW DOPAMINE

Dopamine affects many brain functions and physical symptoms, so signs of low dopamine may vary greatly. Some of them include:

• Depression
• Problems with motivation or concentration
• Working memory issues, such as difficulty remembering the first part of a sentence a person just spoke
• Restless leg syndrome
• Shaking hands or other tremors
• Changes in coordination
• Low sex drive
• Inability to feel pleasure from previously enjoyed activities
• Symptoms of attention-deficit hyperactivity (ADHD)
• Symptoms of schizophrenia, such as hearing voices or believing things that cannot be true
• Symptoms of dementia, such as problems with executive functioning, short-term memory, managing daily tasks, or solving simple cognitive problems

Depending on the brain systems affected, a person’s lifestyle, genetics, and myriad other factors, low dopamine may manifest much differently from person to person. For example, addiction, depression, and dementia are all linked to low dopamine.

Age, health status, brain injuries, and chronic medical conditions can change dopamine levels. So a person who has normal dopamine at one point in their life may still later be affected by dopamine-related health issues.

Low dopamine is not a medical diagnosis, and doctors rarely check dopamine levels. To treat low dopamine, doctors first look at symptoms, then assess a person to determine the right diagnosis. Treatment is based on the specific condition a person has. Even when a person has low dopamine, increasing dopamine levels is not always the right treatment. People with Parkinson’s disease may take a form of dopamine to help with movement disorders, while those with depression may use antidepressants that target serotonin.

DOPAMINE AND MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES

Numerous mental and neurological health conditions are linked to dopamine issues. Drugs and alcohol temporarily flood the brain with dopamine. The pleasurable sensations this causes can encourage a person to continue seeking out addictive substances. Over time, however, the person needs more and more of the addictive substance to get the same dopamine rush. When they stop using, their brain may temporarily produce less dopamine, increasing the risk of a relapse.

Other mental health and neurological issues that may appear in people with low dopamine include:

• Depression: Depression can be caused by one’s body or one’s circumstances. Sometimes it can be caused by a mixture of both. Most mental health experts agree brain chemistry plays a major role in depression. The brain has chemicals called dopamine and serotonin. These chemicals affect our ability to feel pleasure and well-being. If the brain does not make enough of these chemicals, or if it doesn’t process them right, depression can result.
• ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) and executive dysfunction: ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder. People with ADHD may have difficulty focusing, or controlling impulsive behavior. Experts do not know exactly what causes ADHD, but some experts think that changes in dopamine activity may contribute.
• Dementia: A generalized and chronic loss of brain functioning, is not a disease in itself. Rather, the condition can be described as a variety of symptoms that are linked to a decline in memory and other cognitive functions.
• Parkinson’s disease: Parkinson’s disease is a degenerative disorder of the central nervous system. It can cause tremors, muscle stiffness, and problems with balance and coordination. The main cause of Parkinson’s disease is the loss of dopamine-producing cells.

Too much dopamine may also damage the brain. Mental health researchers have long theorized that too much dopamine in the brain may lead to schizophrenia. The research on this point is mixed, and no single cause has been conclusively shown to trigger the condition. Because both too much and too little dopamine can be harmful, however, it is important not to self-medicate or self-diagnose a dopamine-related issue.

HOW TO INCREASE DOPAMINE

Diagnosing dopamine deficiency is difficult. Although a blood test can measure dopamine levels in the blood, it cannot assess how the brain responds to dopamine. Some diseases can cause a person’s body not to manufacture dopamine transporters. So most doctors do not test dopamine levels, and instead diagnose a person based on symptoms.

A person who thinks they may be deficient in dopamine should see a doctor, since the diseases dopamine deficiency causes are treatable. If a person does not have a diagnosable illness, they may wish to try natural dopamine-increasing remedies. There is no conclusive evidence that a supplement, food, or other home remedy can increase dopamine. Some small studies have found a link between vitamin D, omega-3 supplements, or magnesium and dopamine, but more research is necessary to prove this theory.

A number of healthy lifestyle strategies may help safely increase dopamine. They include:

• Exercise
• Massage
• Meditation
• Activities that a person enjoys, such as gardening, reading, or playing with a pet

Supplements that increase dopamine levels include:

• Tyrosine. Tyrosine is a natural amino acid and a precursor to dopamine. (Dopamine is made from tyrosine.)
• L-theanine. L-theanine is another precursor to dopamine.
• Vitamin D, B5 and B6. These vitamins are needed to make dopamine.
• Omega-3 essential fatty acids.
• Magnesium.

Therapy may help a person manage the symptoms of low dopamine. In therapy, a person can learn to better manage symptoms of an illness such as Parkinson’s, advocate for their needs, and manage challenges such as low motivation and depression. Find a therapist to begin the process of healing.

References:

1. Brisch, R., Saniotis, A., Wolf, R., Bielau, H., Bernstein, H., Steiner, J., Bogerts, B., Braun, K., et al. (2014, May 19). The role of dopamine in schizophrenia from a neurobiological and evolutionary perspective: Old fashioned, but still in vogue. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 5, 47. doi: 10.3389/fpsyt.2014.00047
2. Cadman, B. (2018, January 17). Dopamine deficiency: What you need to know. Medical News Today. Retrieved from https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320637.php
3. Dopamine. (n.d.). U.S. National Library of Medicine. Retrieved from https://pubchem.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/compound/Dopamine
4. Dopamine reuptake inhibitors. (n.d.). Science Direct. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/neuroscience/dopamine-reuptake-inhibitors
5. Dopamine transporter deficiency syndrome. (2019, September 10). U.S. National Library of Medicine. Retrieved from https://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/condition/dopamine-transporter-deficiency-syndrome
6. How addiction hijacks the brain. (2011). Harvard Health Publishing. Retrieved from https://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/how-addiction-hijacks-the-brain
7. Martorana, A., & Koch, G. (2014, September 25). Is dopamine involved in Alzheimer’s disease? Frontiers in Aging Neuroscience, 6, 252. doi: 10.3389/fnagi.2014.00252
8. Symptoms of dopamine deficiency. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.anftherapy.com/brain/symptoms-of-dopamine-deficiency
9. WHO model list of essential medicines. (2017). World Health Organization. Retrieved from https://www.who.int/medicines/publications/essentialmedicines/20th_EML2017.pdf?ua=1

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