Every January, you promise yourself this will be the year. You may think: This time, I’ll finally lose the weight, cut back on drinking, stop feeling so anxious, or fix that relationship I’ve been neglecting.

You may make it through January, but the failure rate for many New Year’s resolutions hovers around 80%. After a month or two into the new year, you might have given up on your goal and may be carrying the additional weight of disappointment and self-blame.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. More importantly, you may not be failing because you lack willpower or discipline. When you find yourself making the same resolutions year after year without lasting change, it may be time to consider a different possibility: how mental health is involved.

Why Do I Keep Failing at My New Year’s Resolutions?

If only 9% of Americans ultimately keep their resolutions, this means the vast majority of people struggle just like you do. But while fitness gurus and self-help books will tell you to set smarter goals, track your habits, or find an accountability partner, these strategies often miss a crucial truth: behavioral change is nearly impossible when underlying mental health conditions are working against you.

The Willpower Myth: Why “Just Try Harder” Doesn’t Work

For decades, we’ve been told that willpower is the ability to resist short-term temptations in order to meet long-term goals. But actually, the very belief that you just need more self-control may be setting you up for failure.

Success is often influenced by a combination of personality traits, environmental factors, and social contexts rather than willpower alone. In reality, when you’re battling anxiety, depression, undiagnosed ADHD, or trauma, your brain is working with fundamentally different resources.

How Mental Health Conditions Sabotage Your Goals

The resolutions you make year after year to lose weight, drink less, manage anxiety, and improve relationships aren’t random. They’re often symptoms of deeper struggles that haven’t been identified or addressed. Consider what other factors might be at play, and give yourself some newfound grace.

When Depression Derails Your Best Intentions

This year, you may plan to exercise more, eat better, or reconnect with friends. But anxiety, depression, and self-esteem issues are common conditions that nearly 21 million adults in the U.S. deal with each year (as of 2021 data).

While it manifests differently from person to person, depression doesn’t just make you feel sad: it fundamentally alters your motivation, energy levels, and ability to experience pleasure. When you’re depressed, the activities that would help you feel better feel impossibly difficult.

ADHD: The Hidden Hurdle

Many adults struggle for years without realizing they have Attention Deficit/ Hyperactivity (ADHD). They may just think they’re lazy, undisciplined, or fundamentally flawed. Individuals with ADHD may struggle with impulsivity, emotional regulation, and consistency, leading to self-sabotaging behavior like missed deadlines, emotional outbursts, or difficulty following routines.

Living with ADHD can make it difficult to reach your goals and find a routine that works. Your resolution to wake up earlier, stick to a budget, or stop procrastinating faces up against mental health factors that no amount of determination or “willpower” can overcome.

Anxiety and the Self-Sabotage Cycle

If you want to be less anxious this year, you might make resolutions to meditate, practice self-care, or “worry less.” But anxiety has a way of hijacking your best efforts, whether it’s related to politics, finances, relationships, the holidays, or more. These deep-rooted beliefs and thinking patterns can fuel all kinds of fears that can result in procrastination or avoidance. If left unchecked, this can lead to general anxiety, social anxiety, and depression.

Ironically, the very act of setting ambitious goals can trigger anxiety about failure, which confirms your worst fears about yourself. It’s a cycle that feels impossible to break on your own. Luckily, anxiety (and depression and ADHD) is a very treatable and common condition that doesn’t have to get in your way.

Depression, ADHD, and anxiety are not the only mental health issues that can make reaching your annual goals a challenge. Substance abuse challenges, trauma, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), and others might be at play. The first step, though, is doing some self-evaluation and talking to a licensed mental health professional.

What Does Self-Sabotage Really Look Like?

Getting in your own way isn’t always obvious, and it doesn’t always look like giving up. Knowing the below signs of self-sabotage can equip you with the tools to interrupt your harmful patterns and start reaching your goals:

Low self-esteem and unfounded beliefs about being deficient, not good enough, incapable, or unintelligent contribute to self-defeating behavior. These core beliefs fuel fears about performance and can cause procrastination or avoidance.

If you find yourself getting in your own way, remember: These patterns aren’t character flaws. They’re often learned responses to unmet emotional needs. Plus, they’re incredibly common among people with undiagnosed mental health conditions.

How Do I Know If I Need Professional Help?

If you’re reading this and wondering whether your resolution struggles signal something deeper, try asking yourself these questions:

Prioritizing your mental health needs doesn’t have to follow a significant or traumatic event in your life. It can be the natural next step if you notice the little things adding up and your resolutions getting harder and harder to achieve.

What Can Therapy Actually Do for My Resolutions?

Despite what some may think, therapy isn’t about having someone tell you to try harder or hold you accountable. It’s about uncovering and addressing the root causes that have been affecting your efforts all along. Finding emotional healing starts with a diagnosis, if applicable, exploring root causes, and building the skills to manage your needs.

Accurate Diagnosis Changes Everything

A thorough evaluation for a specific condition, or a few, might seem scary and overwhelming. But getting an accurate diagnosis gives you clarity. Suddenly, your struggles have a name and a framework. Whether you have ADHD, anxiety, PTSD, depression, or another condition, early identification improves the effectiveness of treatment and improves your overall quality of life. You’re not broken or lazy: you’re dealing with a legitimate challenge that has real solutions.

Therapy Addresses the “Why,” Not Just the “What”

Resolutions and therapy may share the same end goal of bettering yourself, but they approach it in very different ways. Resolution-setting focuses on behavior: eat less, exercise more, save money. Therapy digs into why those behaviors have been so difficult to sustain.

A skilled therapist can help you:

You Learn Skills That Last Beyond January

Therapy is not meant to give you a one-time fix for a sticky situation or a script for handling one tough conversation. Therapy approaches are long-term treatments that can be very helpful in creating lasting change. Some common frameworks include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), to name a few.

Making Therapy Your Resolution This Year

This year, instead of resolving to change your behavior through just more willpower and determination, consider making a different commitment: to understand yourself better and get the support you deserve.

When finding a therapist, look for someone who:

Seeking therapy is about acknowledging that you’ve been fighting an uphill battle with limited tools and wanting to make a change, not admitting defeat. With proper treatment, you can work towards genuine self-motivation.

Take the First Step Towards a Healthier You

Change takes time, and it doesn’t have to start with a sweeping life overhaul. It can start with one phone call, one appointment, one honest conversation about what you’ve been struggling with. Setting New Year’s resolutions already proves you have the desire to change, so now it’s time to get the support that makes change possible.

Find a therapist near you who can help you understand what’s been holding you back and build a path forward that actually works for your life and your unique circumstances.

Learning how to stop procrastinating is one of the most searched productivity topics online, and for good reason. Procrastination affects millions of people worldwide, with research indicating that up to 20% of adults and 50% of students struggle with chronic procrastination (Rozental et al., 2014). The consequences extend far beyond missed deadlines, procrastination can lead to diminished performance, poor mental and physical health, and increased stress, worry, and guilt.

Longitudinal studies consistently show that procrastination functions as a short-term coping strategy with serious long-term costs. While the roots of procrastination vary across individuals, there are proven patterns that can help anyone discover how to stop procrastinating effectively and permanently.

If you’re wondering how to stop procrastinating, these nine research-informed strategies reveal what non-procrastinators do differently:

1. They Practice Self-Compassion Instead of Self-Criticism

People who speak to themselves with harsh criticism often experience increased stress and avoidance behaviors. Research published in Self and Identity found that lower self-compassion was directly correlated with higher levels of procrastination.

What You Can Do: Replace self-judgment with supportive inner dialogue. When facing a challenging task, try saying, “It’s okay to take this one step at a time” rather than berating yourself for past delays. Self-compassion research shows that this approach actually improves motivation and performance.

2. They Don’t Let Role Models Define Their Habits

Many people unconsciously adopt procrastination behaviors modeled by parents, siblings, or mentors during their formative years.

What You Can Do: Become aware of these inherited patterns by reflecting on where your procrastination habits originated. Consider the costs these role models paid for their delays, and actively seek out new models of timely action to emulate instead.

3. They Believe in Their Ability to Be Effective

Albert Bandura’s concept of self-efficacy is central to understanding procrastination, people often delay tasks because they doubt their ability to complete them successfully. Research shows that academic self-efficacy strongly predicts reduced procrastination and improved performance.

What You Can Do: Challenge assumptions about your ineffectiveness. Build confidence through skill development, seeking support when needed, and using flexible self-talk like “I can learn as I go” or “Time and effort will help me succeed.” Consider each task an experiment rather than a test of your worth.

4. They Don’t Avoid Certain Types of Tasks

Some people develop biases against particular tasks, convincing themselves they simply “aren’t good at” certain things, which creates avoidance patterns.

What You Can Do: Examine and challenge these limiting beliefs. Use task avoidance as a red flag and opportunity for growth. Ask yourself: “What if I could prove that belief wrong, just once?” Often, our perceived weaknesses are simply areas where we lack experience or confidence.

5. They Plan Realistically and Build in Buffer Time

Many procrastinators fall victim to the planning fallacy, underestimating how long tasks will take or overestimating how quickly they’ll complete them.

What You Can Do: Begin tasks earlier than you think necessary and aim to finish ahead of deadlines. Building buffer time reduces stress and enhances follow-through. Consider tying task completion to small rewards to reinforce successful planning habits.

6. They Resist Short-Term Pleasures When Necessary

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) describes “short-range hedonism” as a key contributor to procrastination. People may prioritize immediate comfort over long-term benefits.

What You Can Do: Increase awareness of this pattern and connect more deeply with future rewards. Practice delaying gratification to build long-term resilience and goal orientation. REBT research shows that challenging irrational beliefs about immediate pleasure leads to better self-regulation.

7. They Don’t Let Perfectionism Paralyze Them

High-achieving individuals might insist that tasks be completed perfectly, a standard that often delays action and fuels avoidance behaviors. Studies indicate that perfectionism frequently leads to procrastination rather than better outcomes.

What You Can Do: Recalibrate your expectations by tracking how perfectionism has harmed rather than helped your progress. Focus on completion and progress over flawlessness. Remember that “good enough” often surpasses perfect work that never gets finished.

8. They Address Underlying Mental Health Factors

Depression, anxiety, and other mental health conditions can significantly diminish executive function, making it difficult to initiate or maintain motivation for tasks. Research demonstrates clear links between procrastination and various mental health challenges.

What You Can Do: Always consider whether underlying mental health conditions might be contributing to procrastination patterns. Seek comprehensive treatment when needed, and break large tasks into smaller, manageable steps. Set realistic goals based on your current energy and capacity.

9. They Tolerate Discomfort Rather Than Avoid It

According to REBT principles, procrastination often stems from the belief that discomfort should be avoided at all costs. Non-procrastinators, however, accept that some discomfort is inevitable when pursuing meaningful goals.

What You Can Do: Revise rigid beliefs about discomfort by reframing it as a growth opportunity rather than something to flee. Take small action steps and use the Premack Principle to reinforce progress, for example, “Once I organize these files, I’ll enjoy a 15-minute walk outside.”

Key Takeaways for How to Stop Procrastinating

Understanding how to stop procrastinating effectively requires recognizing that procrastination is a learned behavior that can be unlearned. These nine strategies provide a comprehensive roadmap for developing the mindset and habits of non-procrastinators.

The most important insight? Procrastination isn’t a character flaw, it’s a coping mechanism that can be replaced with healthier approaches to task management and self-regulation. By implementing these research-backed strategies consistently, you can master how to stop procrastinating and develop the productivity and confidence that characterize those who rarely delay important tasks.

FAQ: How to Stop Procrastinating

Q: What is the fastest way to learn how to stop procrastinating? A: Research indicates that procrastination primarily stems from emotional regulation difficulties, particularly the inability to tolerate discomfort, fear of failure, perfectionism, and low self-efficacy beliefs about task completion. Start with self-compassion and small, manageable steps.

Q: How long does it take to master how to stop procrastinating? A: While individual timelines vary, studies suggest that consistent application of anti-procrastination strategies can show improvements within 2-4 weeks, with more substantial behavioral changes occurring over 8-12 weeks of practice.

Q: Can learning how to stop procrastinating completely eliminate it? A: Rather than complete elimination, the goal is developing better awareness and coping strategies. Most people experience occasional procrastination, but the key is preventing it from becoming a chronic, self-defeating pattern.

Q: What’s the difference between procrastination and laziness? A: Procrastination involves actively avoiding important tasks despite knowing they should be completed, often accompanied by guilt and stress. Laziness suggests a general unwillingness to exert effort, which is quite different from the complex emotional patterns involved in procrastination.

Q: Are there any benefits to procrastination? A: While some people claim to work better under pressure, research consistently shows that procrastination leads to increased stress, lower quality work, and negative health outcomes. The temporary “rush” of last-minute completion doesn’t outweigh the long-term costs.

Q: When should someone seek professional help regarding how to stop procrastinating? A: Consider professional support if procrastination significantly impacts your work, relationships, or mental health, or if underlying conditions like depression, anxiety, or ADHD may be contributing factors.

References:

Bandura, A. (1997). Self-efficacy: The exercise of control. W. H. Freeman.

Rozental, A., Forsell, E., Svensson, A., Andersson, G., Carlbring, P., & Lindefors, N. (2014). Internet-based cognitive-behavior therapy for procrastination: A randomized controlled trial. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 82(6), 956–967. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0037106

Sirois, F. M. (2014). Procrastination and stress: Exploring the role of self-compassion. Self and Identity, 13(2), 128–145. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298868.2013.763404

Tice, D. M., & Baumeister, R. F. (1997). Longitudinal study of procrastination, performance, stress, and health: The costs and benefits of dawdling. Psychological Science, 8(6), 454–458. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.1997.tb00460.x

It is that time of year when almost everyone is thinking about their goals for the new year. If you are not one of those people, you may be one who scoffs at those who do… You might assume that those who create goals are setting themselves up for failure. It is true that if goals are not formulated correctly, they can do more harm than good. 

 If you set goals that are unrealistic or overwhelming, goal setting can actually have a negative effect on your mental health. Unmet goals can cause depression because they leave you feeling incompetent, disappointed, and frustrated.  

 However, if you know how to set effective goals, you can greatly improve your overall mental health. Here are a few reasons, as well as some tips for developing goals that help you succeed: 

1) Gives you a dopamine boost 

 When you desire something and get it, your brain releases the neurotransmitter dopamine, which is often called the “feel good” chemical. So each time you accomplish something on a to-do list you chemically boost your mood.  

 You can increase the release of dopamine if you cross out what you have accomplished instead of erasing or deleting it. That way, each time you look at your list your brain is reminded that you set out to do something and did it, which releases more dopamine.  

 So, if you want this chemical to steadily be released to your brain, set small manageable steps to accomplish your goals, and then acknowledge and celebrate accomplishing each step. This will give you the motivation to keep completing each task item.  

 Reminding yourself of what you have accomplished in the past can give you confidence that you are also capable of achieving future goals. So as you set your goals for the new year, take some time to reflect on and celebrate what you accomplished in 2024.  

 * Pro tip: instead of keeping only to-do lists, keep lists of things that you’ve already accomplished, to remind yourself of how capable you are. 

 2) Gives you a greater sense of purpose and joy 

 Having goals can also give you a greater sense of purpose in your daily life, and your life overall, which also helps you enjoy life more. One of the main reasons people become depressed is because they are not clear on their purpose in life or even in the next month or year. One of the trademark traits of a depressed individual is feeling that life is meaningless or that they are unproductive. 

If you have a clear sense of the direction you want to go in the next week, month, or years, you will also feel a greater sense of peace, confidence, motivation, and joy in your everyday life. That way, even when you have a hard day you know that it is still worth it because it is part of your journey to getting where you want to be.  

First, you need to understand your “why”, or your overall purpose in life. Once you understand this, you can work backward to figure out yearly, monthly, and daily goals. Otherwise, you may end up working towards goals you later realize were not actually things that you greatly value.  

That is why even outwardly very “successful” people can become just as depressed as someone who has experienced a lot of failure in their life if they end up achieving something that was not actually very valuable or fulfilling for them. The important thing is not just to work hard, but to work hard for things that really matter to you. That is when effort becomes joyful and fulfilling.  

3) Helps you accomplish more 

You have likely heard Yogi Berra’s quote “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else”. This principle applies to more than just baseball. If you are not clear on what is important to you and where you are headed in life, you will probably be very unpleasantly surprised with where you end up.  

You have probably also heard the acronym SMART applied to goal setting. Effective goals will be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. It is not enough to just set goals. The more clear, specific, and realistic goals you have, the more likely you are to achieve them.  

So try setting some goals this New Year’s and notice how it makes you feel. If you end up overwhelmed, frustrated, or disappointed, you may need to re-work your goals to be more achievable. But if they are SMART goals you will most likely feel inspired, purposeful, and joyful as you head into 2025.  

What to Do When the Person You’re Disappointed in Is You

We’re almost two months into the new year, yet many of us have already disappointed ourselves. Maybe we’ve dropped the ball on the New Year’s resolutions we set just eight short weeks ago. We all hoped that 2021 would be better, a fresh start after a rough 2020, but so far, this year has given us plenty of new hard things to deal with. Perhaps we’re frustrated with how we haven’t changed much either in the last couple of months. So what do you do when the person that you’re disappointed in is you? 

3 Unhealthy Responses to Feeling Like You’re Disappointed in Yourself

#1 Punishing Yourself

When you are experiencing frustration with your choices or decisions, you may punish yourself. Self-punishment comes in many forms, like restricting yourself from enjoying good things, rejecting others’ praise, or engaging in negative self-talk. Sometimes people even perform self-harming acts in order to punish themselves. This type of response to coming up short often occurs when you are overwhelmed with guilt or even self-hatred. This is not a helpful or constructive coping mechanism, but it is not uncommon. 

If you’re stuck in a cycle of self-punishment, there’s no shame in reaching out for help. To search for a therapist in your area, click here.

#2 Denial

Sometimes when you’re disappointed in yourself, you choose denial as a response. This is essentially the decision to not talk about your failure, to pretend that it never happened. Denying either that you ever set the goal in the first place or that you strayed from it will not help you improve or achieve. You must be honest with yourself (and others, where appropriate) if you want to grow. 

#3 Giving Up

Giving up is a very common response to being disappointed in yourself. When you set goals for yourself, you expect to complete them; when faced with your own failures, it may seem logical to give up. We are often harsh and judgmental with ourselves. It’s as if we have decided that only complete perfection is worth striving for. One mistake or failure is enough to disqualify the value of all our efforts. And that’s simply untrue. We don’t always meet our own standards, even when we’ve set realistic goals, but an “all or nothing” approach to our goals is not conducive to progress. 

5 Healthy Alternatives

#1 Pause

If you feel yourself slipping into a disappointed mindset, you should pause. Often, our own failures trigger our fight, flight, or freeze response. Take some deep breaths, give yourself space to think, and calm down. Think about the situation in front of you rationally and thoughtfully so you can remain objective.

#2 Use It

If you are disappointed in your actions, use that disappointment as an impetus to find a solution or try again. This is an opportunity for you to shift toward self-compassion and self-love. You are a human who makes mistakes, just like we all are. What matters in this moment is how you choose to move forward. Use your disappointment as a catalyst to make good choices.

   2.A Explore

To make positive changes, you may need to spend some time in introspection. Ask yourself questions about why and how you disappointed yourself. How did the circumstances affect your choices? Do your goals or their implementation need to be reexamined? Take this opportunity to learn more about yourself, your tendencies, and who you want to be.

   2.B Plan

Once you understand how you ended up in this situation, you can make a plan to get back on track and avoid disappointment in the future. Your plan should be realistic to the demands of your life and involve small, attainable steps for you to get there. Think ahead of potential challenges that could derail your goals and how you will tackle them. Set yourself up for future success. 

#3 Name Your Feelings

Your feelings matter and are valid. Being disappointed in yourself when things do not go well is normal. Name your feelings, accept them, and then make positive decisions about how to move forward. As we noted before, denial is unhelpful. By identifying and feeling your emotions associated with failure and disappointment, you are equipping yourself to move forward with those feelings resolved, rather than just shoved into a corner of your heart and ignored as long as possible. 

#4 Practice Self-Compassion

Chances are, you will make more mistakes, you will fail again, you will disappoint yourself because you are human. The best thing you can offer yourself in those moments is self-compassion. Self-compassion helps us accept our mistakes as learning and growth opportunities that help us in the future. Start growing the habit of self-compassion now. 

#5 Get Help

If you are struggling to move past being disappointed in yourself or engaging in self-destructive behaviors, a therapist can be an excellent resource and support. Together, you can work on dismantling unhelpful thoughts and habits and embracing new, positive replacements. 

A therapist can help you develop healthy coping mechanisms as you deal with self-disappointment. To find a therapist in your area, click here.