Q: What would you want someone who’s never been to therapy before to know about starting therapy?

Dr. Plummer:

Therapy is a relationship: it’s a therapeutic partnership or alliance. It may take a bit of time to really get into the groove of things. It takes time to build that ease and comfort. If the comfort doesn’t happen right away, give it a little more time, maybe a couple of months, to really see how you feel.

The other thing to consider is that whatever brings us to therapy, our presenting issue, may not be the root issue. Often, it’s a symptom that brings us to therapy, not the actual root. If we trust our therapist, they can help us get to that root issue. And whatever that root issue is, it has likely been forming for years, if not decades. 

In summary, recognize that therapy is a relationship and a process, and it’s going to take a little bit of time.

Q: How can therapy help someone who feels like something’s off but can’t quite put their finger on it?

Dr. Plummer:

Our brains are designed in a particular way where we can often ruminate, specifically in the positioning between our amygdala and our hippocampus. But being able to talk through that issue pushes it through the amygdala and the hippocampus and up to the prefrontal cortex, where we’re thinking differently and have executive functioning and behavior from that. So talk therapy helps us stop that rumination. Think about a hamster on a wheel: that’s what happens with our thoughts when we keep having them recur. But therapy is the way to stop the wheel and allow the hamster to come off.

Talk therapy has a neurological effect, but it also has an emotional effect. When we’re going through something challenging and having a difficult time coming up with a solution, we need a safe space. Participating in therapy allows us to have a relationship with somebody who truly cares about what’s best for us and has a treatment plan to help us get where we want to go.

A therapist is often objective to the situation. They will ask questions and share summaries or interpretations that may allow the client to think outside the box because it’s not so personal.

Q: Why is it important for people to find therapists who truly understand them, whether through shared background, identity, or something else?

Dr. Plummer:

My most recent book, The Essential Guide for Counseling Black Women, is specific to Black women, but it’s the first in a series that will be dedicated to different demographics.

It’s important because when a client comes in, they want to be able to talk about whatever challenge they’re having and get direction, questions, summaries, and interpretations. They come in to be the client; they don’t come in to be an educator. Often, clients are looking for counselors who are similar to them in any type of identifier because they don’t want to have to explain who they are and some of the cultural nuances.

All mental health professions require their graduate students to take a multicultural course, but the course is only about 15 weeks long. It doesn’t spend as much time identifying all of the needs for different races and genders. There may be one class per course that talks about a specific race or gender, and that’s really just not enough.

A book like The Essential Guide allows therapists to go deeper in their learning and understanding so that even if a client comes and doesn’t think they are most relatable to that therapist, the therapist has the cultural competency and understanding to do more than adequate work with that client.

Q: If you had to describe your therapy approach in one sentence, what makes you a good fit for clients?

Dr. Plummer:

My approach is that I actually care about people. I actually really love people. I am extremely curious about who people are, how they became who they are, the decisions they’ve made in their life. I like to highlight their strengths as well as where there are gaps between who they currently are and who they want to be.

Most people identify me as extremely relatable. I fit into lots of different spaces and elements and lots of different engagements with other people. Because of that, I can pick up quite quickly what people need in that particular moment, whether it’s words of affirmation or a particular direction and approach.

My theoretical orientation is cognitive, so I spend a lot of time thinking about people’s thoughts and helping them think about their thoughts before we really get into the emotions and the actions they’ve taken. That tends to lead toward my therapeutic modality as well, which is CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy).

Q: What’s one practical tip or mindset shift you often share that helps people start feeling better?

Dr. Plummer:

Often, people come to therapy seeking advice. A good therapist is not going to give advice: they’re going to guide a client toward a solution that the client wants for themselves. 

I often give the analogy that a mother teaches her daughter how to ride a bike because all she knows how to do is ride that bike. She learned how to ride a bike, she felt empowered when she learned, and it allowed her to move through spaces quicker and get things done. She’s proud of her ability to ride a bike. So when she has a daughter, she teaches her daughter how to ride a bike because she wants to pass that information on. 

But then later in life, [the daughter] feels cheated because her mom didn’t teach her how to drive a car. But the mom never knew how to drive a car. I think that makes clients feel better in understanding that your parents and grandparents often did the best that they could, even though it wasn’t all that you needed. Just because you don’t have a need met right now doesn’t mean that it can’t get met and that somebody can lean in and support you in that process.

Wherever there are gaps, we’ll help them find out who in their life can support them. And even if it’s within them already to learn how to do certain things. I think that takes some of the pressure off of them to feel that they have to know everything right in this moment, and the challenges they’re currently experiencing won’t last forever.

Q: Tell us about your book, The Essential Guide for Counseling Black Women.

Dr. Plummer:

Many of our multicultural courses don’t teach us enough about different races and genders, and it is our responsibility to educate ourselves, as opposed to expecting the client to educate us. This book allows us to really dive deep and educate ourselves.

With over 222 pages, I have research, lived experiences, and client insights. I have therapist tips, so things that therapists need to be considering along the way as they’re reading each chapter. The book has catalyst questions, so therapists know how to engage with a client. I also have journal prompts that clients can be using. So the book is written for therapists, but it’s also written for Black women to give us all shared language about some of the experiences we’ve had.

There’s also a therapeutic guide so therapists know which therapeutic modalities would be best used when working with a Black woman on a particular theme, whether it’s cognitive therapy, REBT, or narrative therapy.

The book is specifically for those in healthcare (therapists, coaches, psychiatrists) and for Black women. It should be read by both populations, and it can be read by other people too, just to understand the lived experiences of Black women and why we do certain things. It allows Black women to be empowered and understand their experiences and why they do the things they do and how it’s helpful for who they are. As we build community, it’s important to have guides and language around how we can support each other to ensure we are not allowing our biases to enter the conversation, but instead allowing our sense of community and empowerment to be the anchor in how we continue to build relationships with people.

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Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, depression, or simply feel like something’s off, compassionate, qualified mental health professionals are here to help you find clarity and move forward during Black History Month, Women’s History Month, and beyond.

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Q: What would you say to someone who’s never been to therapy before and is curious about what happens in the first therapy session?

Dr. Clare:

When I think about the first session for someone who is starting therapy, I want them to know that therapy is a safe place. It’s a place where they can come, they can be themselves, they can share with someone that’s not going to judge them.

During that first session, we’re essentially setting the parameters for what will happen after. When I have my first session [with a client], I’m generally going over some things that they need to know: the sessions are confidential [and] I’m there to listen to them and to guide them. They need to know that essentially this is their therapy, so they also are setting some boundaries in terms of what they do and do not want to discuss.

There are some times when I can’t keep everything confidential — if you’re going to hurt yourself or if you’re going to hurt someone else. During those times, I will not be able to keep this confidential.

Q: How does therapy help if someone feels like something’s off, but they can’t quite put their finger on it?

Dr. Clare:

We all got issues. There are times in everyone’s lives where things aren’t quite the way we think that they should be. It’s during those time periods that it’s okay to enter into therapy.

Therapy is a place where you will be safe. No one’s going to be sharing your business. No one is going to be judging you. They are going to take that time with you to say, well, maybe there is something to that, that we need to examine. And you know what? That’s a good thing. Change happens when you first acknowledge that there’s a need for change, and then you do something about it. Going to therapy is that first step in doing something about it.

Q: Why is it important for people to find therapists who understand them?

Dr. Clare:

Let’s be honest. Everybody is not your person. You don’t need to be dealing with the people who are clueless about your situation, about who you are, about what you are striving to do.

It is okay to screen therapists. I have 15-minute consultation sessions so people can see, do we click or don’t we click?

It’s important to do that. And even after that 15 minutes, say you’ve been meeting with somebody for a couple of weeks and you’re still not quite sure that they’re kind of getting it, then you can change.

However, don’t decide you don’t like somebody because they’re challenging you. That’s part of therapy. They should be challenging you to get out of your comfort zone.

We have what’s called the therapeutic alliance. It’s a relationship between the client and the therapist. During those first few consultation sessions, you are interviewing them, and they are interviewing you. You are interviewing them to see if you believe that you click with each other. The therapist is also going to be doing the dance of, is this a topic that I think that I can be helpful to the client about?

Q: What is your therapy approach, and what is different about the way you work with clients?

Dr. Clare:

My philosophy is that we all got issues. We are to figure out what you need and to provide the resources that you need so that you can enhance your wellness, not mine.

So this is a partnership. There may be some directions that I think might be good for you to go in and you may have another thought. It’s about you and me working with you to give you what you need so that you can get better.

Q: From your experience, what are the signs of a good client-therapist match?

Dr. Clare:

I have learned that emotions are key. When I’ve got a good fit with a client, there are days when we cry together. There are days when we laugh together. So we can have a combination of the two of those things.

The bottom line is that you get it, that you have AHA moments, that you know that you’re just feeling safe with that person.

If you’ve been wondering whether therapy is right for you, or if you’re searching for a counselor who understands your unique needs, remember, as Dr. Clare says,

“We all got issues”

Taking that first step to acknowledge you need support and finding the right therapeutic fit can be transformative. Mental health counseling isn’t about perfection: it’s about partnership, progress, and possibilities.

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➜

Q: What would you want someone who’s never been to therapy before to know about starting therapy or attending the first session?

Samantha:

It doesn’t have to be as scary as it sounds. In terms of choosing a therapist, the vibe has to be right. That’s the best indication of therapy success. Take advantage of phone consultations or video consultations, just to feel out the connection that you have with that person.

It doesn’t have to be super scary or overwhelming. The first session is usually just the therapist getting to know you, gathering information so that they can best support you. There’s no pressure to share everything all at once.

Q: If someone feels like something’s off but they can’t quite put their finger on it, how can therapy help them find clarity and direction?

Samantha:

That’s such a big deterrent for starting therapy for a lot of people, because it’s like “maybe my problem’s not big enough,” or “because I can’t articulate exactly what’s wrong, how is somebody going to help me?”

Having the space to just talk through and explore what that looks like for you can help bring clarity into what’s off, and so that you can actually create some goals and work towards that in therapy. But that is, honestly, a normal starting point for a lot of people: just that feeling of something’s not right. Therapy can really help: the beginning phases of [therapy] can really help open that up more to get you back to feeling like yourself.

Q: Why is it important for people to find therapists who truly “get” them, whether that’s about background, identity, or something else?

Samantha:

You need to be picky with choosing your therapist. [This means] reflecting on what is important to you, whether that be a therapist’s lived experience or, again, their specialty, and their ability to help you.

Therapists tailor their education and experience to certain areas, and it’s important to find a really good fit that way. The foundation of that is essentially based on trust. That’s going to impact your therapeutic result over time. Trust in the relationship is the number one indicator for success in therapy. It’s important to just find a therapist who has the education and experience to support you with the challenge that you’re facing.

Q: If you had to explain your therapy approach in one sentence, what would you say makes your work with clients unique?

Samantha:

I really value authenticity in my approach. Going back to the therapeutic relationship, I think that authenticity helps me really connect with clients, and it should make the therapy experience feel a lot more comfortable. That’s really important when it comes to therapeutic work and therapeutic growth.

Q: From your experience, what’s a sign that a client and therapist are a good fit?

Samantha:

You want to check in with yourself and ask: how comfortable do I feel talking to this person? I’d say that’s the number one assessor for fit.

Obviously, this is a new person you’re not going to feel 100% comfortable right off the bat, but there should be a little bit of ease there when it comes to starting a new therapeutic relationship. And then in terms of fit, again, look at their specialties, their background, their experience supporting other people who’ve struggled with the same challenges that you’ve faced.

We’re so grateful to Samantha for joining us as one of the first featured therapists in the GoodTherapy Member Spotlight series. Her perspective on authenticity, trust, and connection underscores what makes therapy such a powerful space for growth and self-understanding.

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