Pride has earned a permanent spot in corporations’ branding and social media presence starting in June. That certainly speaks to the success of hard-won cultural and legal battles over the years, but it’s also a time to reflect, learn, and take action on some of the most pressing issues facing LGBTQ individuals today. That could involve diving deeper on how you can be more authentic and accepting in your own life or perhaps reading about the top societal concerns in the community today.   

 History of Pride  

Lively parades and rainbow-themed parties often come to mind when people think of Pride, but the celebration has a much deeper and more meaningful past. On June 28, 1969, protestors fought back over a six-day period when police officers attempted to raid the New York City club — known to be a haven to the LGBTQ community — as same-sex relationships and gatherings were not just frowned upon, but illegal in many cases. The event is often credited with turbocharging gay and trans rights activism in the country. A year after what’s now dubbed the Stonewall Uprising, on June 28, 1970, community activists commemorated the anniversary, which is the genesis for the Pride celebrations we know and love today.  

But it’s important to remember, that while many current-day celebrations are fun and lighthearted in nature, it wasn’t always that way. It took decades before dedicated activism resulted in hard-won legal victories, such as legalizing gay marriage at the federal level in 2015. Within that period of time, many LGBTQ individuals lost relationships with loved ones, lost their jobs, and dealt with high rates of depression and anxiety as a result of having to hide a fundamental part of their identity.  

Let’s take a look at some of the ways to celebrate Pride that simultaneously celebrate how far we’ve come while also staying informed about the work ahead.   

Taking Pride as an Individual 

Pride can be expressed in a myriad of ways.   

For many, the journey to self-acceptance has been riddled with emotional pain along the way, and it’s only been relatively recently — really the last decade — that gay marriage was legalized, and society began looking down on slurs or feeding into negative stereotypes.  

But while we have undoubtedly made progress in establishing equal rights for all individuals, the fight isn’t over. There are still large swaths of the country where identifying as LGBTQ is not accepted, looked down upon, or even dangerous. About 45% of LGBTQ youth seriously considered attempting suicide between 2021 and 2022, according to a Trevor Project survey — much higher than the national average rate among youth. Fewer than one-third of trans and non-binary youth considered their home gender-affirming, the survey also showed.  

And there remain many communities — for example, some religious sects — where being openly gay, trans or gender non-conforming comes with serious social repercussions. For instance, classes, camps, and seminars on how to change one’s sexuality still persist throughout the U.S. Worldwide, there are still many countries where being with someone of the same sex, or identifying as a gender different than what was assigned at birth, is even illegal. According to a GLAAD study, seven out of 10 LGBTQ individuals reportedly experienced discrimination between 2021 and 2022, up 11% from the year prior and a 24% increase from 2020. The majority of transgender non-binary people don’t feel safe in their own neighborhoods.  

 If you identify as LGBTQ and feel safe being out and living authentically, then consider using this month as a time of reflection and celebration in the following ways:  

Express gratitude:

Find time to appreciate your own persistence in remaining true to yourself, not to mention any loved ones who helped and supported you in your journey. Think about the sacrifices both you and others have made so that we can live in a society with more enshrined rights for LGBTQ individuals. Perhaps find a few moments to journal, pray, or meditate at some point during the month.   

Volunteer:

Giving back is the best way to feel connected to the community. Offer your time at a nonprofit organization, whether it’s mentoring LGBTQ youth, organizing Pride events, or even assisting seniors.  

Stay educated:

Learn about LGBTQ history but also current issues impacting the community, whether they have political or social implications.   

Seek therapy:

If you are living in a place where it isn’t safe to be out, know that there are ways to seek guidance and help. For example, finding a therapist, whether in-person or online, is a safe, confidential way to start living a more fulfilled, authentic life.  

 Therapy is also beneficial for those who are out but may still struggle with the process or deal with loved ones who are not accepting.  

Taking Pride as an Ally  

Even if you don’t consider yourself a part of the LGBTQ+ community, you can still celebrate Pride. The month is a symbolic time meant to evoke our own individual authenticity, and that looks different to each person.  

Stay educated:

Some allies may choose to learn more about important LGBTQ+ figures and milestones in the fight for equality. Reading memoirs and watching documentaries are a great way to understand the rich tapestry of the community and the sacrifices made to get to where we are today. It’s also meaningful to stay up-to-date on current challenges the community faces, whether they’re political, religious, or cultural struggles.  

Support LGTQ-owned businesses:

We’re all creatures of habit, and that means trying out a new restaurant or dive bar is not always top-of-mind. But this month, try to find an LGBTQ-owned business to support.  

Check-in with your LGBTQ friends and family:

Many are fortunate enough to be out and proud, but you may be surprised how many individuals can still struggle to come to terms with their sexuality and/or gender, even if they’ve come out. Or perhaps they’re dealing with stress stemming from non-accepting family members or friends. Take an extra moment in your day to call or text your friends or relatives to see if there is any way you can support them.  

Volunteering for events or organizations that support the community is also an ideal way to build relationships, which leads to better allyship.  

And remember, Pride month is about celebrating and accepting yourself and others as they are, whether or not you are part of the LGBTQ community.  

Parents searching for a safe place for their transgender, gender nonconforming, or nonbinary child usually have a lot of questions. One of the first things parents who reach out to me ask is, “What is gender dysphoria?” This is usually followed by, “How is it affecting my child?”

Understanding gender dysphoria is an important part of the journey to support trans youth. But many parents may not be sure what this concept means. Put simply, gender dysphoria is an internal conflict between the sex a person was assigned at birth and the gender they identify with. It is often described as a feeling of discomfort with the body a person lives in and their deeper sense of gender. This conflict can be seen in many ways. Body dysphoria, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and self-harming behaviors are a few, but there are others. All of these symptoms can be seen as attempts to manage the deregulation that can occur when a person’s body does not represent their gender.

Gender dysphoria may be first felt in puberty, when physical changes of development begin. Children can experience discomfort before puberty, but these feelings usually become stronger as differences between the physical body and internal sense of gender increase. Imagine knowing you are male, having a masculine sense of self—in a body that begins to develop breasts. This disconnect can cause extreme anguish and anger in adolescents. Many also say they feel trapped. [fat_widget_child_counselor_right]

How Does Dysphoria Manifest?

This internal conflict is different for each person, but it is often seen as depression or anxiety. Looking in the mirror and seeing a body that does not express your internal sense of self can cause pain, unsettled feelings, and disconnect. Psychological pain may show up in a child’s behavior. Many adolescents refuse to attend school and withdraw from social interactions. Your child may drop activities that require physical contact, like sports, and avoid situations where they would need to expose their body, like pool parties.

At its most intense, body dysphoria in teens can lead to suicidal thoughts and attempts, as well as self-harming behaviors and disordered eating. These actions often result from the need to control a body that feels completely out of control and to ease the pain of an internal disconnect. These symptoms are signs that a higher level of care is needed. A therapist trained to offer support to transgender, gender nonconforming, and nonbinary adolescents may be the best person to provide this care.

Help for Gender Dysphoria

A therapist who is well-versed in working with trans youth is vital for creating a safe space for kids and families to address the challenges of gender dysphoria. The goal in therapy is not to change how a person feels or expresses their gender. Rather, it is for children and their parents to explore tools and methods of support for the feelings that surround the distress of not being able to physically express their true self.

It is important for families to develop a dynamic that is informed, supportive, and curious about their child’s journey as they explore their gender. This dynamic can create a space where different expressions of gender can be safely explored. This exploration may help relieve distress that occurs with dysphoria.

It is important for families to develop a dynamic that is informed, supportive, and curious about their child’s journey as they explore their gender.

Some of the first ways this exploration may take place is with social expression. Through social expression, a child or teen can develop their sense of self and affirm their gender identity. Your child may try out different styles of clothing and new hairstyles and ask you to refer to them by pronouns that fit their gender. They may choose a new name or try out several new names before they determine the one that fits best. These expressions can be seen as the first step in aligning themselves with their internal sense of being male, female, some of both, or neither. By supporting your child’s expressions and identity, you can help ease their distress and help them find a deeper and clearer sense of self.

The next step may be medical transition. Medical treatments that help align physical characteristics with gender include:

• Puberty blockers. These help prevent the developmental changes of puberty. They can help reduce distressing changes in trans children who have not yet decided on hormone therapy.
• Hormone therapy. Hormones cause physical changes that support internal gender identity.
• Gender confirmation surgery. Some trans people may pursue surgery to completely match their physical body to their gender, but others may choose certain types of surgery only.

It is important to understand that not all people who identify as transgender, gender nonconforming, or nonbinary are interested in pursuing complete medical transition. They may choose some aspects and reject others. For example, your teen may be interested in hormone therapy but not feel ready for gender confirmation surgery. This personal choice is a part of each person’s transition.

You can help your child by encouraging open discussion and taking their feelings and wishes into account. Ask what your child thinks about medical transition. Do your own research so you can have informed discussions with your child. Careful research can help you help your child make decisions based on accurate information and informed consent.

Exploring these topics can bring up strong emotional reactions. But it is important for both you and your child that you are able to support them during their transition and talk through their options from an informed, caring position instead of a fearful, reactive one. [amazon_affiliate]

Some families may need more help and support to explore these feelings and assist a child who is dealing with the painful reality of gender dysphoria. If you are struggling to find the best way to offer support to your child, you may find it helpful to talk through your feelings with your own therapist or counselor.

References:

1. American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Publishing.
2. Rood, B. A., Reisner, S. L., Surace, F. I., Puckett, J. A., Maroney, M. R., & Pantalone, D. W. (2016). Expecting rejection: Understanding the minority stress experiences of transgender and gender nonconforming individuals. Transgender Health, 1(1), 151–164. doi: 10.1089/trgh.2016.0012
3. Sherer, I., Baum, J., Ehrensaft, D., & Rosenthal, S. M. (2015, January 1). Affirming gender: Caring for gender-atypical children and adolescents. Contemporary Pediatrics. Retrieved from http://contemporarypediatrics.modernmedicine.com/contemporary-pediatrics/news/affirming-gender-caring-gender-atypical-children-and-adolescents?page=full
4. Steensma, T. D., McGuire, J. K., Kreukels, B. P., Beekman, A. J., & Cohen-Kettenis, P.T. (2013). Factors associated with desistence and persistence of childhood gender dysphoria: A quantitative follow-up study. Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 52(6), 582-90.

Bullying based on stigma or discrimination can be especially harmful. Bullies may target a child for their weight, religion, disability, or other traits.  A Developmental Review study says anti-bullying programs are unevenly distributed among sociological categories. The authors say more research on interventions might reduce bullying among specific groups.

Preventing Stigma-Based Bullying

The study screened 8,240 articles published between 2000 and 2015. It included 22 studies addressing 21 different interventions for discriminatory bullying. The study found the number of stigma-based bullying interventions has increased with time. Between 2000 and 2007, only six such programs appeared in peer-reviewed journals. Between 2008 and 2015, researchers published 16 interventions.

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This data suggests investigators are taking the problem more seriously. However, the study found an uneven distribution of programs. Over the last 15 years, programs addressing LGBTQ+ issues have grown more common. Yet the study’s authors located only two programs that directly addressed racism.

Bystander intervention and other generalized anti-bullying approaches have proven successful. Yet programs that target stereotypes might be necessary to fight discriminatory bullying. According to the study authors, they may also help prevent gun violence at schools. Many school shooters have a history of gender-based harassment and/or racial prejudice. Addressing discrimination early on may prevent behaviors from escalating.

Bullying and Mental Health

While some adults treat bullying as a rite of passage, research points to the long-lasting damage the experience can cause. A 2015 study found bullied children were more likely to experience anxiety and depression than survivors of childhood abuse. Research published in 2014 suggests the effects of bullying may extend into adulthood.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), kids who bully are more likely to have:

• harsh parenting
• poor impulse control
• an acceptance of violence

Bullying prevalence estimates vary. The 2015 Youth Behavior Risk Survey found 20% of high schoolers were bullied at school during the previous year. In the same survey, 16% of students said they had been cyberbullied.

References:

1. Bullying based on stigma has especially damaging effects. (2018, March 8). ScienceDaily. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/03/180308105144.htm
2. Earnshaw, V. A., Reisner, S. L., Menino, D. D., Poteat, V. P., Bogart, L. M., Barnes, T. N., & Schuster, M. A. (2018). Stigma-based bullying interventions: A systematic review. Developmental Review. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0273229717300138?via%3Dihub
3. Prevent bullying. (2017, October 10). Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/features/prevent-bullying/index.html