Pride has earned a permanent spot in corporations’ branding and social media presence starting in June. That certainly speaks to the success of hard-won cultural and legal battles over the years, but it’s also a time to reflect, learn, and take action on some of the most pressing issues facing LGBTQ individuals today. That could involve diving deeper on how you can be more authentic and accepting in your own life or perhaps reading about the top societal concerns in the community today.   

 History of Pride  

Lively parades and rainbow-themed parties often come to mind when people think of Pride, but the celebration has a much deeper and more meaningful past. On June 28, 1969, protestors fought back over a six-day period when police officers attempted to raid the New York City club — known to be a haven to the LGBTQ community — as same-sex relationships and gatherings were not just frowned upon, but illegal in many cases. The event is often credited with turbocharging gay and trans rights activism in the country. A year after what’s now dubbed the Stonewall Uprising, on June 28, 1970, community activists commemorated the anniversary, which is the genesis for the Pride celebrations we know and love today.  

But it’s important to remember, that while many current-day celebrations are fun and lighthearted in nature, it wasn’t always that way. It took decades before dedicated activism resulted in hard-won legal victories, such as legalizing gay marriage at the federal level in 2015. Within that period of time, many LGBTQ individuals lost relationships with loved ones, lost their jobs, and dealt with high rates of depression and anxiety as a result of having to hide a fundamental part of their identity.  

Let’s take a look at some of the ways to celebrate Pride that simultaneously celebrate how far we’ve come while also staying informed about the work ahead.   

Taking Pride as an Individual 

Pride can be expressed in a myriad of ways.   

For many, the journey to self-acceptance has been riddled with emotional pain along the way, and it’s only been relatively recently — really the last decade — that gay marriage was legalized, and society began looking down on slurs or feeding into negative stereotypes.  

But while we have undoubtedly made progress in establishing equal rights for all individuals, the fight isn’t over. There are still large swaths of the country where identifying as LGBTQ is not accepted, looked down upon, or even dangerous. About 45% of LGBTQ youth seriously considered attempting suicide between 2021 and 2022, according to a Trevor Project survey — much higher than the national average rate among youth. Fewer than one-third of trans and non-binary youth considered their home gender-affirming, the survey also showed.  

And there remain many communities — for example, some religious sects — where being openly gay, trans or gender non-conforming comes with serious social repercussions. For instance, classes, camps, and seminars on how to change one’s sexuality still persist throughout the U.S. Worldwide, there are still many countries where being with someone of the same sex, or identifying as a gender different than what was assigned at birth, is even illegal. According to a GLAAD study, seven out of 10 LGBTQ individuals reportedly experienced discrimination between 2021 and 2022, up 11% from the year prior and a 24% increase from 2020. The majority of transgender non-binary people don’t feel safe in their own neighborhoods.  

 If you identify as LGBTQ and feel safe being out and living authentically, then consider using this month as a time of reflection and celebration in the following ways:  

Express gratitude:

Find time to appreciate your own persistence in remaining true to yourself, not to mention any loved ones who helped and supported you in your journey. Think about the sacrifices both you and others have made so that we can live in a society with more enshrined rights for LGBTQ individuals. Perhaps find a few moments to journal, pray, or meditate at some point during the month.   

Volunteer:

Giving back is the best way to feel connected to the community. Offer your time at a nonprofit organization, whether it’s mentoring LGBTQ youth, organizing Pride events, or even assisting seniors.  

Stay educated:

Learn about LGBTQ history but also current issues impacting the community, whether they have political or social implications.   

Seek therapy:

If you are living in a place where it isn’t safe to be out, know that there are ways to seek guidance and help. For example, finding a therapist, whether in-person or online, is a safe, confidential way to start living a more fulfilled, authentic life.  

 Therapy is also beneficial for those who are out but may still struggle with the process or deal with loved ones who are not accepting.  

Taking Pride as an Ally  

Even if you don’t consider yourself a part of the LGBTQ+ community, you can still celebrate Pride. The month is a symbolic time meant to evoke our own individual authenticity, and that looks different to each person.  

Stay educated:

Some allies may choose to learn more about important LGBTQ+ figures and milestones in the fight for equality. Reading memoirs and watching documentaries are a great way to understand the rich tapestry of the community and the sacrifices made to get to where we are today. It’s also meaningful to stay up-to-date on current challenges the community faces, whether they’re political, religious, or cultural struggles.  

Support LGTQ-owned businesses:

We’re all creatures of habit, and that means trying out a new restaurant or dive bar is not always top-of-mind. But this month, try to find an LGBTQ-owned business to support.  

Check-in with your LGBTQ friends and family:

Many are fortunate enough to be out and proud, but you may be surprised how many individuals can still struggle to come to terms with their sexuality and/or gender, even if they’ve come out. Or perhaps they’re dealing with stress stemming from non-accepting family members or friends. Take an extra moment in your day to call or text your friends or relatives to see if there is any way you can support them.  

Volunteering for events or organizations that support the community is also an ideal way to build relationships, which leads to better allyship.  

And remember, Pride month is about celebrating and accepting yourself and others as they are, whether or not you are part of the LGBTQ community.  

Many people see sexuality as key to their identity. But sexuality can change over time. These changes often cause shifts in identity, experiences, and relationships.

Sexuality: A Continuum of Experiences

Most people use sexuality to refer to the gender(s) to which they are attracted. However, sexuality means different things to different people. Not everyone experiences sexual feelings. Others have sexual feelings only in certain contexts. Someone who is asexual may have no sexual feelings. Meanwhile, someone who is demisexual may only have sexual feelings in a committed relationship. Even within these identities, there are numerous variations.

Sexuality can change over time. Some of the many reasons a person’s identity might change include:

• Feeling less encumbered by social norms. Some people grow up in repressive families or feel stuck in marriages they did not want or no longer want. When they no longer have these restrictions, they may explore their sexuality. This can cause an identity shift.
• Attraction to a new person. Some people connect strongly with a specific identity. They may then become attracted to a new person who calls that identity into question.
• Political or ideological shifts. Some people change their sexuality for political reasons. Lesbian separatism is the refusal to participate in heterosexual relationships. Some women choose lesbian separatism due to firmly held feminist beliefs.

Understanding Sexual Fluidity

Sexual fluidity is the ability of sexual feelings to change over time. Some people embrace this notion. They may be more open to changes in their sexuality. Others are surprised to experience a shift in sexual feelings.  [fat_widget_right]

Sexologists are people who study human sexuality. They have attempted to understand and quantify human sexuality using scales. For example, the Kinsey Scale ranges from 0-6. It includes identities ranging from exclusively heterosexual to exclusively homosexual. Most people fall somewhere between the two extremes. This is one way to explain sexual fluidity. If most people are not entirely homosexual or heterosexual, then the right experiences or setting may cause a person’s orientation to change.

Other scales that measure sexuality include:

• The Klein Grid. This scale looks at a person’s past, present, and ideal experiences. It includes measures of romantic, sexual, and social attractions. The Klein Grid also makes room for personal sexual identity.
• The Multidimensional Scale of Sexuality. This measure breaks sexuality into nine categories. It was developed primarily as a criticism of other tools that don’t distinguish sexual identity from behavior or treat sexual orientation as something that remains consistent across a person’s lifetime.

Researchers have developed dozens of other scales. Many of these are slight variations on the Kinsey Scale.

Are Sexuality and Gender the Same? The Link Between Sexuality and Gender

Sexuality and gender are distinct. A person’s sexuality includes a wide range of factors, including the gender to which they are attracted. Gender refers to gender identity. Most people are male or female, while others may have a different gender identity or be nonbinary. Some believe that the concept of gender is harmful or problematic.

Gender and sexual identities can change with time, but a change in one does not necessitate a change in the other. When a person’s gender identity changes, they may remain attracted to the same gender(s) of people. For example, a trans woman who once identified as heterosexual may identify as a lesbian following her transition.

The notion that sexuality can change has long been used to oppress sexual minorities. Conversion therapy uses physical and emotional abuse to urge non-heterosexual people to become heterosexual. It hinges on the idea that it’s possible to force someone to change their sexuality.

How Sexuality Affects Identity

Most people see sexuality as a fundamental part of their identity. Relationships often depend on sexual identity. It is common for people to participate in sexuality-based subcultures. For instance, a heterosexual couple may have primarily heterosexual friends.

When sexuality changes or when someone questions their sexuality, their identity may also shift. Sexuality changes may spur fears of rejection. For example, a lesbian who begins to be attracted to men may worry her friends will judge her.

People with non-normative sexual identities—including lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual, and asexual identities—can be especially anxious about shifts in their sexuality. The notion that sexuality can change has long been used to oppress sexual minorities. Conversion therapy uses physical and emotional abuse to urge non-heterosexual people to become heterosexual. It hinges on the idea that it’s possible to force someone to change their sexuality.

The Difference Between Change Over Time and Forced Change

Forced change is categorically different from natural shifts in sexuality. People change many preferences or interests over a lifetime. These include changes that are key to their identity. Careers, hobbies, romantic partners, and political ideals figure prominently in identity. And while they often change with new experiences, they are unlikely to change under duress.

Sexuality is similar, though one’s sexual orientation is never a matter of preference. People cannot change who they love or are attracted to. While those feelings may shift with time, attempting to force change for political or religious reasons is unlikely to work. It can also cause lasting harm. Most medical and psychological organizations oppose conversion therapy as a form of psychological abuse. Several states have banned the practice.

When Sexual Practices and Identity Differ

People align with specific sexual orientations for many reasons. Sometimes a person’s sexual practices are not included in their sexual identity. Someone might identify as heterosexual but occasionally have sex with people of the same gender. Many factors, including stigma, may contribute to this behavior.

The philosopher and social theorist Michel Foucault famously argued that sexual identity is a social and historical construct, not an unchangeable identity. He saw sexual identity as linked to power structures and historical shifts. Foucault disputed the idea that sexual orientation is a fundamental part of one’s essence. With this understanding of sexuality, shifts in identity may be inevitable. They may be no different than changes in taste or fashion.

No matter how someone views their sexual identity or how that identity changes over time, sexuality can prompt important questions about relationships, politics, religion, and more. A therapist can help untangle these issues in a respectful and nonjudgmental setting.

References:

1. Berkey, B. R., Perelman-Hall, T., & Kurdek, L. A. (1990). The multidimensional scale of sexuality. Journal of Homosexuality,19(4), 67-88. doi: 10.1300/j082v19n04_05
2. Overview of sexual orientations. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/article/overview-sexual-orientations
3. Sexual fluidity. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://vaden.stanford.edu/health-resources/lgbtqia-health/sexual-fluidity
4. The emergence of sexuality: Foucault, sexual identities, and the modern self. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.thinkolio.org/olios/emergence-sexuality-foucault-sexual-identities-and-modern-self
5. The Klein Sexual Orientation Grid. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.americaninstituteofbisexuality.org/thekleingrid