Pride has earned a permanent spot in corporations’ branding and social media presence starting in June. That certainly speaks to the success of hard-won cultural and legal battles over the years, but it’s also a time to reflect, learn, and take action on some of the most pressing issues facing LGBTQ individuals today. That could involve diving deeper on how you can be more authentic and accepting in your own life or perhaps reading about the top societal concerns in the community today.   

 History of Pride  

Lively parades and rainbow-themed parties often come to mind when people think of Pride, but the celebration has a much deeper and more meaningful past. On June 28, 1969, protestors fought back over a six-day period when police officers attempted to raid the New York City club — known to be a haven to the LGBTQ community — as same-sex relationships and gatherings were not just frowned upon, but illegal in many cases. The event is often credited with turbocharging gay and trans rights activism in the country. A year after what’s now dubbed the Stonewall Uprising, on June 28, 1970, community activists commemorated the anniversary, which is the genesis for the Pride celebrations we know and love today.  

But it’s important to remember, that while many current-day celebrations are fun and lighthearted in nature, it wasn’t always that way. It took decades before dedicated activism resulted in hard-won legal victories, such as legalizing gay marriage at the federal level in 2015. Within that period of time, many LGBTQ individuals lost relationships with loved ones, lost their jobs, and dealt with high rates of depression and anxiety as a result of having to hide a fundamental part of their identity.  

Let’s take a look at some of the ways to celebrate Pride that simultaneously celebrate how far we’ve come while also staying informed about the work ahead.   

Taking Pride as an Individual 

Pride can be expressed in a myriad of ways.   

For many, the journey to self-acceptance has been riddled with emotional pain along the way, and it’s only been relatively recently — really the last decade — that gay marriage was legalized, and society began looking down on slurs or feeding into negative stereotypes.  

But while we have undoubtedly made progress in establishing equal rights for all individuals, the fight isn’t over. There are still large swaths of the country where identifying as LGBTQ is not accepted, looked down upon, or even dangerous. About 45% of LGBTQ youth seriously considered attempting suicide between 2021 and 2022, according to a Trevor Project survey — much higher than the national average rate among youth. Fewer than one-third of trans and non-binary youth considered their home gender-affirming, the survey also showed.  

And there remain many communities — for example, some religious sects — where being openly gay, trans or gender non-conforming comes with serious social repercussions. For instance, classes, camps, and seminars on how to change one’s sexuality still persist throughout the U.S. Worldwide, there are still many countries where being with someone of the same sex, or identifying as a gender different than what was assigned at birth, is even illegal. According to a GLAAD study, seven out of 10 LGBTQ individuals reportedly experienced discrimination between 2021 and 2022, up 11% from the year prior and a 24% increase from 2020. The majority of transgender non-binary people don’t feel safe in their own neighborhoods.  

 If you identify as LGBTQ and feel safe being out and living authentically, then consider using this month as a time of reflection and celebration in the following ways:  

Express gratitude:

Find time to appreciate your own persistence in remaining true to yourself, not to mention any loved ones who helped and supported you in your journey. Think about the sacrifices both you and others have made so that we can live in a society with more enshrined rights for LGBTQ individuals. Perhaps find a few moments to journal, pray, or meditate at some point during the month.   

Volunteer:

Giving back is the best way to feel connected to the community. Offer your time at a nonprofit organization, whether it’s mentoring LGBTQ youth, organizing Pride events, or even assisting seniors.  

Stay educated:

Learn about LGBTQ history but also current issues impacting the community, whether they have political or social implications.   

Seek therapy:

If you are living in a place where it isn’t safe to be out, know that there are ways to seek guidance and help. For example, finding a therapist, whether in-person or online, is a safe, confidential way to start living a more fulfilled, authentic life.  

 Therapy is also beneficial for those who are out but may still struggle with the process or deal with loved ones who are not accepting.  

Taking Pride as an Ally  

Even if you don’t consider yourself a part of the LGBTQ+ community, you can still celebrate Pride. The month is a symbolic time meant to evoke our own individual authenticity, and that looks different to each person.  

Stay educated:

Some allies may choose to learn more about important LGBTQ+ figures and milestones in the fight for equality. Reading memoirs and watching documentaries are a great way to understand the rich tapestry of the community and the sacrifices made to get to where we are today. It’s also meaningful to stay up-to-date on current challenges the community faces, whether they’re political, religious, or cultural struggles.  

Support LGTQ-owned businesses:

We’re all creatures of habit, and that means trying out a new restaurant or dive bar is not always top-of-mind. But this month, try to find an LGBTQ-owned business to support.  

Check-in with your LGBTQ friends and family:

Many are fortunate enough to be out and proud, but you may be surprised how many individuals can still struggle to come to terms with their sexuality and/or gender, even if they’ve come out. Or perhaps they’re dealing with stress stemming from non-accepting family members or friends. Take an extra moment in your day to call or text your friends or relatives to see if there is any way you can support them.  

Volunteering for events or organizations that support the community is also an ideal way to build relationships, which leads to better allyship.  

And remember, Pride month is about celebrating and accepting yourself and others as they are, whether or not you are part of the LGBTQ community.  

Envy has been described as a vicious emotion, one of the deadliest of all sins. Have you ever envied someone else’s achievements? What is envy and why do we feel it? Researchers at the University of Cologne in Germany who studied the emotion found that envy is quite a natural response to an envied person’s perceived accomplishments. However, they concluded, envy and pride go hand-in-hand. Not only were the researchers able to show through a series of experiments that envy is a normal response to displays of pride, they discovered evidence that envy can sometimes be productive and may actually motivate a person to achieve more.

According to Jens Lange and Jan Crusius (2015), there are two distinct forms of envy:

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• Benign envy: Entails positive thoughts about the envied person and results in an increased effort to attain the envied person’s perceived advantage.
• Malicious envy: Entails negative thoughts about the envied person and results in resentment and possible negative behaviors such as social undermining in groups, cheating, and efforts to level perceived differences.

The distinction is in line with an evolutionary perspective of emotions. Envy can be an adaptive response to an environmental change. By achieving or destroying perceived advantages, humans are able to survive, thrive, and overcome obstacles.

Lange and Crusius found that displays of pride can elicit either benign or malicious forms of envy. Pride can be described as a “spontaneously expressed response to victory” (Tracy and Matsumoto, 2008), and is manifested in two distinct forms based on how the successful person attributes their achievement.

• Authentic pride: Attributing success to controllable causes such as effort. (Example: I did well on my test because I studied hard.)
• Hubristic pride: Attributing success to uncontrollable causes such as personal abilities. (Example: I did well on my test because I am a gifted student.)

In their experiments, Lange and Crusius found that when a perceived competitor was more successful at a task than the subject, malicious envy was experienced when hubristic pride was demonstrated. Alternatively, when a perceived competitor was more successful at a task and displayed authentic pride, benign envy was demonstrated. Interestingly, they also discovered that when the subject experienced pride from a person they liked and the pride was shown in person, feelings of envy were less likely to occur. However, pictures and video displays of pride in instances where the subject did not know the competitor were more likely to elicit feelings of envy, both benign and malicious.

If you find yourself in a constant state of malicious envy, it may be hard to accomplish the goals you set for yourself.

In light of these conclusions, it is tempting to apply them to social media culture. Many studies have indicated people who spend more time on social media have increased rates of depression. In an article by Amit Chowdhry (2016), media researcher Brian A. Primack, MD, PhD said exposure to “highly idealized representations of peers on social media elicits feelings of envy and the distorted belief that others lead happier, more successful lives.”

If you feel displays of pride might be causing you to have feelings of destructive envy, here are some tips that might help:

1. Limit social media intake to a reasonable amount of time each day.
2. Hide or cut ties with friends who have a pattern of bragging in a hubristic way.
3. Use insight and self-understanding when you have feelings of envy.

If you find yourself in a constant state of malicious envy, it may be hard to accomplish the goals you set for yourself. Worse, goals may be clouded by a desire to have what others have, rather than what is best for you. If envy begins to manifest in your life in an unhealthy way, consult a therapist for guidance on how to redirect your thoughts.

References:

1. Chowdhry, A. (2016, April 30). Research links heavy Facebook and social media usage to depression. Retrieved from https://www.forbes.com/sites/amitchowdhry/2016/04/30/study-links-heavy-facebook-and-social-media-usage-to-depression/#7198bb274b53
2. Lange, J., & Crusius, J. (2015). The tango of two deadly sins: The social-functional relationship of envy and pride. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 109(3) 453-472.
3. University of Pittsburgh Schools of the Health Sciences. (2016, March 22). Social media use is associated with depression among U.S. young adults. Retrieved from http://www.upmc.com/media/NewsReleases/2016/Pages/lin-primack-sm-depression.aspx