Perfectionism can look like ambition, discipline, and drive. It can also feel like living under a never-ending report card, where every project, grade, performance review, relationship moment, and even appearance is scored, judged, and never quite enough.

Perfectionism
High standards
Self-criticism
Healthy striving

In This Blog

	Why perfectionism feels exhausting
	What causes perfectionism
	Healthy striving vs. perfectionism
	How to loosen perfectionism
	FAQ

Key insight: Perfectionism is not simply caring a lot. It is often a strategy for staying safe from criticism, rejection, shame, or the fear of falling short.

Psychology writers often describe perfectionism as a trait that can be motivating in healthy doses, yet deeply distressing when it becomes rigid and fear-driven. The goal is not to stop having standards. The goal is to build standards that are flexible enough to leave room for learning, connection, and a full life.

Why Perfectionism Feels So Exhausting

Extreme perfectionism tends to focus less on pursuing success and more on avoiding failure. That “do not mess up” orientation can create chronic tension, harsh self-criticism, and the sense that love, belonging, or acceptance must be earned through flawless performance.

Over time, this can make ordinary decisions feel high stakes. A work email becomes a test of competence. A social interaction becomes proof of whether you are likable. A mistake becomes evidence that you are failing as a person. That kind of pressure can keep the nervous system on alert, and the American Psychological Association notes that ongoing stress can affect the body, mood, and behavior.

What Causes Perfectionism?

Perfectionism is often fueled by internal pressure, such as a fear of making mistakes, being judged, disappointing others, or losing approval. Culture matters, too. A large meta-analysis of college students in the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom found that multiple forms of perfectionism increased from 1989 to 2016, suggesting that younger generations may be feeling more pressure to be perfect, expecting more of themselves, and sometimes demanding more from others.

You can see this pressure in achievement culture, social comparison, family expectations, trauma histories, school or workplace environments, and messages that equate productivity with worth. For some people, perfectionism and childhood trauma can become connected when being “good,” quiet, successful, or in control once helped them feel safer.

Pause and name the pressure

If perfectionism is leaving you anxious or stuck, it may help to ask, “What am I afraid this mistake would mean about me?” For support with anxiety that hides behind productivity, see High Functioning Anxiety.

Signs Perfectionism May Be Taking Over

Perfectionists often set unrealistically high expectations for themselves, and sometimes for others. They can be quick to spot flaws, overly critical of mistakes, and prone to procrastination because starting or finishing means risking imperfection.

Common perfectionism signals

• Rewriting, rechecking, or delaying work long after it is useful.
• Dismissing compliments or moving immediately to what could have been better.
• Feeling intense shame after ordinary mistakes.
• Relying on achievement, appearance, status, income, or approval to feel okay.
• Avoiding risks, creativity, rest, or connection because the outcome cannot be controlled.

Perfectionism can also show up as procrastination. When the standard is “excellent or worthless,” the safest option may seem like not starting at all. If this pattern feels familiar, it may help to read about how to stop procrastinating without turning the solution into another impossible standard.

The Three Types of Perfectionism

Researchers often describe perfectionism as multidimensional. It can point inward, outward, or toward what we believe other people expect from us.

Self-oriented perfectionism +

This is the pressure to meet impossibly high standards aimed at yourself. It may sound like, “I must never fail,” or “I should be able to handle everything.”

Other-oriented perfectionism +

This is the pressure placed on other people to meet rigid expectations. It can strain relationships when flexibility, repair, and ordinary human limits are not allowed.

Socially prescribed perfectionism +

This is the belief that other people expect you to be perfect. It can be especially painful because approval starts to feel conditional and constantly at risk.

Is Perfectionism a Mental Illness?

Perfectionism itself is generally considered a personality trait, not a mental illness. But when it becomes extreme, it can contribute to or worsen mental health challenges, especially when it is driven by compulsive thoughts, harsh self-criticism, fear of mistakes, or chronic anxiety.

A 2024 systematic review and meta-analysis linked perfectionism with symptoms of depression, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorder in adults, with perfectionistic concerns showing a particularly strong relationship with psychological distress. The National Institute of Mental Health explains that anxiety symptoms can interfere with school, work, relationships, and daily routines, which is why patterns that keep the body in threat mode deserve care.

Healthy Striving vs. Demanding Perfection

There is a meaningful difference between striving for excellence and demanding perfection. Healthy striving can help you learn, practice, persist, and improve. Maladaptive perfectionism turns improvement into a verdict on your worth.

Healthy striving	Perfectionism
High standards with flexibility.	High standards with fear and rigidity.
Feedback is useful information.	Feedback feels like proof of failure.
Mistakes are part of learning.	Mistakes feel catastrophic or shameful.
Self-worth remains bigger than the outcome.	Self-worth rises and falls with the outcome.

A gentler performance loop

Notice the pressure → name the fear → choose a good-enough next step → learn from the result → reconnect with your values.

How to Loosen Perfectionism Without Lowering Your Standards

Loosening perfectionism does not mean becoming careless. It means practicing standards that can bend without breaking you.

Try this now: the 80 percent experiment

1. Choose one low-stakes task: an email, a drawer, a workout, a slide, or a small errand.
2. Decide what “good enough” looks like before you start.
3. Stop at 80 to 90 percent and observe what actually happens.
4. Write one sentence about what you learned, not whether you did it perfectly.

It can also help to trade comparison for curiosity. When you notice yourself measuring your worth against someone else’s highlight reel, return to what you value and what you are learning. Compassionate self-talk matters, too. Speaking to yourself the way you would speak to a capable friend can make change more sustainable. For a deeper look at that skill, see self-kindness and emotional well-being.

Support is allowed

If perfectionism is affecting your sleep, relationships, work, mood, or ability to rest, a therapist can help you understand the fear underneath it. You can search GoodTherapy for a therapist who fits your needs.

Beliefs That Often Hide Under Perfectionism

Perfectionism often rests on self-defeating beliefs that sound like rules. They may involve achievement, love and belonging, conflict, emotional control, or the fear that being seen as flawed will make you unacceptable.

	“My worth depends on my achievements, intelligence, status, income, or looks.”
	“People will not love or accept me if I am flawed or vulnerable.”
	“If it is not perfect, it is a failure.”
	“I should always feel happy, confident, controlled, and strong.”

These beliefs can feel convincing because they may have helped you cope at one time. But they can also keep you trapped in shame, worry, or emotional exhaustion. The work is not to shame yourself for having these beliefs. The work is to notice them, question them, and build more flexible beliefs that support both excellence and humanity.

When Therapy Can Help With Perfectionism

Therapy can be useful when perfectionism is no longer just a preference for excellence, but a source of anxiety, depression, relationship strain, burnout, compulsive checking, or avoidance. A therapist may help you identify the fears behind perfectionism, practice more flexible thinking, work through early experiences that made perfection feel necessary, and build new ways to respond to mistakes.

Research on treatment for perfectionism is still developing, but a randomized trial of group cognitive behavioral therapy for perfectionism found reductions in perfectionism and related symptoms for participants in the treatment group. That does not mean one approach fits everyone, but it does suggest that perfectionism can be addressed directly and compassionately.

Frequently Asked Questions

Common questions about perfectionism, anxiety, and healthier standards.

Q: Is perfectionism a mental illness? +

A: Perfectionism itself is usually understood as a personality trait, not a diagnosis. It can still affect mental health when it becomes rigid, fear-based, or tied to anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive symptoms, shame, or avoidance.

Q: What causes perfectionism? +

A: Perfectionism can grow from temperament, family expectations, trauma, cultural pressure, school or workplace demands, social comparison, and the fear of criticism or rejection. For many people, it once felt like a way to stay safe or accepted.

Q: How can I tell healthy striving from perfectionism? +

A: Healthy striving allows mistakes, feedback, rest, and learning. Perfectionism tends to make mistakes feel catastrophic, success temporary, and self-worth dependent on the outcome.

Q: Can perfectionism cause anxiety or depression? +

A: Perfectionism may contribute to anxiety, depression, and related distress, especially when it involves intense concern about mistakes, judgment, or not being good enough. It is one factor, not the whole story, and support can help.

Q: How can therapy help with perfectionism? +

A: Therapy can help you understand what perfectionism protects, challenge all-or-nothing thinking, practice self-compassion, reduce avoidance, and build standards that support your values without making worth depend on flawless performance.

You do not have to earn care by being perfect

If perfectionism is making life smaller, support can help you keep your values while loosening the rules that keep you stuck.

Find a Therapist Near You →

About the Author Jill Verofsky Licensed Professional Counselor in Ambler, Pennsylvania Jill Verofsky describes her approach to therapy as realistic and person-centered, with attention to helping people become more functional in daily life while working toward deeper root issues. View Jill Verofsky’s GoodTherapy profile

Every January, you promise yourself this will be the year. You may think: This time, I’ll finally lose the weight, cut back on drinking, stop feeling so anxious, or fix that relationship I’ve been neglecting.

You may make it through January, but the failure rate for many New Year’s resolutions hovers around 80%. After a month or two into the new year, you might have given up on your goal and may be carrying the additional weight of disappointment and self-blame.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. More importantly, you may not be failing because you lack willpower or discipline. When you find yourself making the same resolutions year after year without lasting change, it may be time to consider a different possibility: how mental health is involved.

Why Do I Keep Failing at My New Year’s Resolutions?

If only 9% of Americans ultimately keep their resolutions, this means the vast majority of people struggle just like you do. But while fitness gurus and self-help books will tell you to set smarter goals, track your habits, or find an accountability partner, these strategies often miss a crucial truth: behavioral change is nearly impossible when underlying mental health conditions are working against you.

The Willpower Myth: Why “Just Try Harder” Doesn’t Work

For decades, we’ve been told that willpower is the ability to resist short-term temptations in order to meet long-term goals. But actually, the very belief that you just need more self-control may be setting you up for failure.

Success is often influenced by a combination of personality traits, environmental factors, and social contexts rather than willpower alone. In reality, when you’re battling anxiety, depression, undiagnosed ADHD, or trauma, your brain is working with fundamentally different resources.

How Mental Health Conditions Sabotage Your Goals

The resolutions you make year after year to lose weight, drink less, manage anxiety, and improve relationships aren’t random. They’re often symptoms of deeper struggles that haven’t been identified or addressed. Consider what other factors might be at play, and give yourself some newfound grace.

When Depression Derails Your Best Intentions

This year, you may plan to exercise more, eat better, or reconnect with friends. But anxiety, depression, and self-esteem issues are common conditions that nearly 21 million adults in the U.S. deal with each year (as of 2021 data).

While it manifests differently from person to person, depression doesn’t just make you feel sad: it fundamentally alters your motivation, energy levels, and ability to experience pleasure. When you’re depressed, the activities that would help you feel better feel impossibly difficult.

ADHD: The Hidden Hurdle

Many adults struggle for years without realizing they have Attention Deficit/ Hyperactivity (ADHD). They may just think they’re lazy, undisciplined, or fundamentally flawed. Individuals with ADHD may struggle with impulsivity, emotional regulation, and consistency, leading to self-sabotaging behavior like missed deadlines, emotional outbursts, or difficulty following routines.

Living with ADHD can make it difficult to reach your goals and find a routine that works. Your resolution to wake up earlier, stick to a budget, or stop procrastinating faces up against mental health factors that no amount of determination or “willpower” can overcome.

Anxiety and the Self-Sabotage Cycle

If you want to be less anxious this year, you might make resolutions to meditate, practice self-care, or “worry less.” But anxiety has a way of hijacking your best efforts, whether it’s related to politics, finances, relationships, the holidays, or more. These deep-rooted beliefs and thinking patterns can fuel all kinds of fears that can result in procrastination or avoidance. If left unchecked, this can lead to general anxiety, social anxiety, and depression.

Ironically, the very act of setting ambitious goals can trigger anxiety about failure, which confirms your worst fears about yourself. It’s a cycle that feels impossible to break on your own. Luckily, anxiety (and depression and ADHD) is a very treatable and common condition that doesn’t have to get in your way.

Depression, ADHD, and anxiety are not the only mental health issues that can make reaching your annual goals a challenge. Substance abuse challenges, trauma, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), and others might be at play. The first step, though, is doing some self-evaluation and talking to a licensed mental health professional.

What Does Self-Sabotage Really Look Like?

Getting in your own way isn’t always obvious, and it doesn’t always look like giving up. Knowing the below signs of self-sabotage can equip you with the tools to interrupt your harmful patterns and start reaching your goals:

Low self-esteem and unfounded beliefs about being deficient, not good enough, incapable, or unintelligent contribute to self-defeating behavior. These core beliefs fuel fears about performance and can cause procrastination or avoidance.

If you find yourself getting in your own way, remember: These patterns aren’t character flaws. They’re often learned responses to unmet emotional needs. Plus, they’re incredibly common among people with undiagnosed mental health conditions.

How Do I Know If I Need Professional Help?

If you’re reading this and wondering whether your resolution struggles signal something deeper, try asking yourself these questions:

Prioritizing your mental health needs doesn’t have to follow a significant or traumatic event in your life. It can be the natural next step if you notice the little things adding up and your resolutions getting harder and harder to achieve.

What Can Therapy Actually Do for My Resolutions?

Despite what some may think, therapy isn’t about having someone tell you to try harder or hold you accountable. It’s about uncovering and addressing the root causes that have been affecting your efforts all along. Finding emotional healing starts with a diagnosis, if applicable, exploring root causes, and building the skills to manage your needs.

Accurate Diagnosis Changes Everything

A thorough evaluation for a specific condition, or a few, might seem scary and overwhelming. But getting an accurate diagnosis gives you clarity. Suddenly, your struggles have a name and a framework. Whether you have ADHD, anxiety, PTSD, depression, or another condition, early identification improves the effectiveness of treatment and improves your overall quality of life. You’re not broken or lazy: you’re dealing with a legitimate challenge that has real solutions.

Therapy Addresses the “Why,” Not Just the “What”

Resolutions and therapy may share the same end goal of bettering yourself, but they approach it in very different ways. Resolution-setting focuses on behavior: eat less, exercise more, save money. Therapy digs into why those behaviors have been so difficult to sustain.

A skilled therapist can help you:

You Learn Skills That Last Beyond January

Therapy is not meant to give you a one-time fix for a sticky situation or a script for handling one tough conversation. Therapy approaches are long-term treatments that can be very helpful in creating lasting change. Some common frameworks include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), to name a few.

Making Therapy Your Resolution This Year

This year, instead of resolving to change your behavior through just more willpower and determination, consider making a different commitment: to understand yourself better and get the support you deserve.

When finding a therapist, look for someone who:

Seeking therapy is about acknowledging that you’ve been fighting an uphill battle with limited tools and wanting to make a change, not admitting defeat. With proper treatment, you can work towards genuine self-motivation.

Take the First Step Towards a Healthier You

Change takes time, and it doesn’t have to start with a sweeping life overhaul. It can start with one phone call, one appointment, one honest conversation about what you’ve been struggling with. Setting New Year’s resolutions already proves you have the desire to change, so now it’s time to get the support that makes change possible.

Find a therapist near you who can help you understand what’s been holding you back and build a path forward that actually works for your life and your unique circumstances.

In our hyperconnected, always-on world, it’s become almost trendy to joke about being “bad at adulting.” If you’re struggling to remember to pay bills on time, keep your apartment clean, or be on time despite your best intentions, you might just tell yourself “you’re bad at adulting,” but there could be more to it.

Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) affects an estimated 7 million children and 6% of adults in the United States, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Yet, countless adults remain undiagnosed, attributing their daily struggles to personal shortcomings rather than recognizing the signs of a condition that’s both treatable and manageable.

Below, we break down common misconceptions and easy-to-spot signs of ADHD and point you towards solutions. With intentionality and support from medication or therapists, like those from GoodTherapy, you can tackle your ADHD and thrive in your day-to-day life without feeling stifled.  

Adult ADHD vs. Childhood ADHD: Key Differences to Know

When most people think of ADHD, they picture a young child bouncing off classroom walls, unable to sit still or focus. This stereotype has done significant damage to public understanding of the condition, particularly for women and adults who don’t fit this narrow profile.

Women and girls are particularly likely to be overlooked because they often internalize their symptoms. Instead of acting out, they might daydream, struggle with self-esteem, or develop anxiety as a secondary condition. In fact, recent research found that girls with ADHD are significantly more likely to be diagnosed later in life, if at all.

Adult ADHD rarely involves running around a classroom. Instead, it might manifest in much more covert and counterintuitive ways, such as:

Many adults discover they have ADHD only when their child is diagnosed, or when life demands exceed their coping mechanisms. Major life transitions such as starting college, beginning a career, or having children can overwhelm existing coping strategies and reveal underlying ADHD symptoms.

Understanding the signs of ADHD and challenging common stereotypes can provide you with answers to the questions you might be asking about yourself or your child. It can also encourage healthy conversations around ADHD in the space and encourage individuals to seek professional help for this treatable condition.

Debunking Common ADHD Myths

Despite decades of research, misconceptions about ADHD persist. Let’s address some of the most harmful myths so you can remain knowledgeable, informed, and confident that you might not just be “bad at adulting” but actually dealing with something more:

How The Modern Digital Age Worsens Adult ADHD Symptoms

Our modern environment presents unique challenges for people with ADHD. The constant ping of notifications, the pressure to multitask, and the overwhelming amount of information we process daily can exacerbate ADHD symptoms or mask them entirely.

Being aware of the elements that can worsen or actually hide ADHD in yourself or others is key to addressing the condition at its core. Consider these modern stressors:

While it can be hard to avoid an influx of information in our day-to-day, there are strategies for minimizing this overload and avoiding burnout, whether that’s by minimizing doomscrolling, taking breaks from social media, or talking to a licensed therapist from GoodTherapy.

3 Real-Life Adult ADHD Examples: Do Any Sound Familiar?

It’s important to talk with an expert before diagnosing yourself with ADHD. Still, recognizing common symptoms of ADHD is crucial for both recognizing you’re probably not “bad at adulting” and also finding the help you need. Consider these adult ADHD examples:

Next Steps: How to Get Help for Suspected Adult ADHD

If you recognize yourself in these descriptions, approach the possibility of ADHD with curiosity rather than judgment. Having ADHD is nothing to be afraid of, and it doesn’t mean you’re broken or flawed: it means your brain works differently, and you may benefit from different strategies and support. Take the following next steps to set yourself up for success and discover the sides of ADHD you might not know:

Getting Adult ADHD Support: You Deserve Better Than “Just Trying Harder”

The narrative that you’re just “bad at adulting” is not only unhelpful but also potentially harmful if it prevents you from getting the support you need. Your struggles are real, and you deserve compassion, especially from yourself. Remember, recognizing ADHD is about understanding your brain so you can work with it rather than against it. With proper support, strategies, and sometimes medication, people with ADHD can thrive in all areas of life.

We all have things we’d like to accomplish. However, many of us struggle at times in the pursuit of our goals. We lack motivation, have no energy to get started, or don’t know where to begin. We procrastinate or find excuses. Then we judge ourselves harshly for being “lazy” or “slacking.” Sometimes all we need is a jump-start, a strategy or two to get us moving when we’re feeling stuck or we’ve been idling too long.

Here are some tried-and-true ideas:

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1. Set a timer for 15 minutes. You know those clothes that came out of the dryer and need to be folded? Or the dishes that magically appeared in the sink? Instead of secretly wishing those things would disappear, challenge yourself and make a game of it. See how much you can accomplish in just 15 minutes; set the timer and go! You may be surprised at the number of things you can complete in a short period of time, especially when you’re racing against the clock. It also helps to know there is an end to the chore. In just 15 minutes, it will be done. Or, by then, you will have tricked yourself into continuing, because you’re on a roll and find you want to complete the task rather than leave some of it undone.
2. Buddy up. You’ve promised yourself that you’re going to wake up early and go for morning walks, but that pledge was made a month ago and you still haven’t found your sneakers. Find a partner to keep you accountable. Ask those around you if they’d be interested in doing the same thing. Once you find one or two “buddies,” decide to check in with each other the night before to keep yourselves on track. Self-motivation can be difficult. Send reminders and support one another.
3. Same time, same place. Consistency helps with motivation. If you intend to read more, decide on a location and time that you can devote to reading regularly. It might be picking your favorite corner of a coffee shop at noon or the comfy chair in your living room at 8 p.m. each evening. Have your book at the ready and devote an hour or so to fulfilling your intention. By being consistent, you may be less likely to hesitate or compromise and allow other things to get in the way. If you have a project you need to work on (college applications, cleaning your closets, putting together a presentation) and you find yourself doing anything and everything to avoid it, schedule a consistent block of time each day to chip away at it. An example would be setting aside 3 p.m. to 5 p.m. daily until the project is complete. You may find yourself devoting less time to debating yourself and more time to doing. One important thing to note: there is often no ideal time or place. If you’re waiting for that, you may never get started. Just go with what works and take it from there.
4. Go public. This can be scary, for sure, but words have so much power. Once you declare what you want to accomplish, you may have more energy behind what you set out to do. You might be surprised to receive the support of others. While that may not always be the case, you can even be fueled by naysayers. Adopt an “I’ll show them!” attitude and devote more attention to what you want to see happen. When you own your goals in a big way, when you aren’t whispering them into the wind, you may be more likely to take big steps in accordance with them.
5. Set up a reward. Go ahead, wave that “carrot”! Think about how you could reward yourself, either at intervals or upon completion. A reward could be as simple as getting up and getting a cup of coffee after you complete some paperwork, or buying a new pair of jeans upon achieving a weight-loss goal. Remind yourself that the reward is something you know you’d really enjoy, even more so having earned it.
6. Remove obstacles. Do what you can to set the stage for success. For example, if you’re seeking to work on your taxes, gather all that you might need prior to beginning the project rather than approaching it piecemeal, which may only serve to frustrate you. If you’re trying to make it to an early workout class, lay out your workout clothes the night before and have your bottle of water ready to go in the refrigerator. You want to be able to get up and go rather than face obstacles like not being able to find your shirt in the dark. Another example might be thinking about beginning therapy. Find a therapist whose schedule can accommodate you, whose office isn’t too far from home or work, or who accepts your insurance so you don’t find the cost prohibitive. [amazon_affiliate]
7. Know your “why.” Give some thought to what you will gain as result of taking the action you’re considering. Your “why” needs to be for you and not someone else. Having clarity around it may enable you to break through the inertia that held you back. Simon Sinek, in his book Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action, describes the “why” as the higher cause, the vision you have. The mechanics of what you are setting out to do, the “what” and the “how,” are lifted to a new level of meaning when you know your “why,” thereby inspiring you to take action with a greater sense of purpose.

Don’t assume you’ll suddenly become motivated. Utilize one or more of these strategies to begin moving forward. Sometimes all you need is to take the first step or two to begin building the momentum you want to see.

Reference:

Sinek, S. (2009). Start with why: How great leaders inspire everyone to take action. New York, NY: Penguin Group.

Many of us linger on the things we wish we could do better, more frequently, or at all. Sometimes, we find ourselves feeling “stuck” and unable to move forward—or in any direction. Delving into what keeps us in this state, paradoxically, feels like it may only fan the flames. When this occurs, we might notice we are frightened, nervous, anxious, or confused. More often than not, there is a sense of overwhelm in this condition. The overwhelming feelings then cause us to feel even more paralyzed and we find ourselves more and more rooted in the sense of inability to take action toward the things we look to build in our lives.

This process raises the question: How do we stop procrastinating? Each of us may have experienced an occasional bout of discomfort with intermittent procrastination, yet some find themselves continuously battling the cycle of overwhelm and procrastination with most of their goals and deadlines. With repetition, not only can this become exhausting, but it can feel almost threatening to strive for goals as well as take on projects—even if they are required of us.

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An important thing to keep in mind is procrastination is representative of a bigger underlying factor. In order to address procrastination, it becomes imperative to look at the underlying issue. Often, feeling overwhelmed presents as procrastination. In other words, if we are feeling engulfed by what might be required of us, it may feel impossible to take any action toward those tasks. To facilitate circumventing procrastination, we need strategies for keeping overwhelm at bay.

One reason we may feel overwhelmed by our tasks and goals may be that we are intimidated by carrying out the task or what it might entail. We may find ourselves thinking the task is too complex or that the stakes are too high. This can lead us into a numbed state or hiding from the activity. At times, we might even find ourselves fixated on it, even becoming irritable, and yet unable to take any action. From this point, as the deadline approaches, we may find ourselves becoming even more and more rooted in fear, overwhelm, anxiety, and inaction.

The antidote is to break the task down into much smaller chunks. As we become overwhelmed, it can become more and more difficult to take notice of the smaller pieces of a task or activity. Overwhelm tends to come from stacking too many parts of the same task together. It can be invaluable to break tasks down to the point of noticing the obvious things you can do that are in front of you. Making use of coping skills and mindfulness tools can help us find an aspect of the task to break down in this way. In doing so, we begin to tip the mind-set scale away from the shut-down and paralyzed state that the overwhelmed feelings brought on. Furthermore, we begin to show ourselves that we can make progress—even if we are not quite done, we have started.

Feelings of overwhelm can lead to a state of paralysis. This, in turn, can compound the stress and anxiety we might experience in response to challenging tasks.

This leads us to an additional strategy for overcoming overwhelming, paralyzing feelings: getting started in the smallest increments possible. We often find ourselves believing we must devote big blocks of time to effectively complete our tasks. Yet, this approach can preclude us getting started and increase our anxiety, stress, and sense of feeling overwhelmed. Getting started with a restricted 5-minute block of time can allow us to begin making a dent in the task in a less pressured way, allowing us to even perform better than we otherwise might have.

Another consideration as we navigate our tasks when we are overwhelmed is where to start. Many of us convince ourselves that we must start with the first step. Yet, this first step may feel elusive to us or perhaps we are just unsure of what it is or how to do it. It may help to start with aspects of the task we do know how to accomplish. As a result, we find ourselves having begun, which alleviates some of the pressure, stress, anxiety, and difficult feelings. At the same time, we begin to see progress and our confidence in our ability to keep moving forward may increase.

In the same vein, if we find ourselves making mistakes along the way, it can be helpful to keep moving forward and correct our mistakes as quickly as possible. Doing so begins to train our mind that forward movement and correction are the way we respond to errors rather than with defeated inaction. Hence, we come away with a mentality that mistakes are not what ultimately matter, but rather, our reaction to the mistakes.

Conclusion

In sum, feelings of overwhelm can lead to a state of paralysis. This, in turn, can compound the stress and anxiety we might experience in response to challenging tasks. With this in mind, we can take steps to ensure overwhelmed states are mitigated so we can continue to build on what we value in our lives.

If you need help managing stress and overwhelm, consider working with a therapist who can teach you the skills you need to stop procrastinating and start moving forward.