7 Indicators That You Might Be Experiencing Social Anhedonia

Life comes with ups and downs, joys and sorrows, mourning and celebration. Our emotions can act as a useful indicator of when you might need support. For most people, pleasure, happiness, and joy are tied to many life experiences. What if you could not feel these things? If that’s happening to you, you may be experiencing anhedonia.

What Is Anhedonia?

You may have heard of hedonism, the pursuit of pleasure. Anhedonia is its opposite — the inability to enjoy something. We use the term anhedonia when someone is unable to enjoy the good things in their life.

There are two types of anhedonia. The first is physical anhedonia, which is when someone cannot enjoy physical sensations such as physical touch from another person or the taste of food. The second is social anhedonia, which is when someone cannot enjoy the companionship of other people. Both types of anhedonia can be symptoms of depression, other mental health conditions, and physical health conditions, as well as side effects of certain medications.

How Common Is Social Anhedonia?

Social anhedonia is more common than its physical counterpart. It is not comparable to social anxiety; it’s not introversion or fear, resentment, or negative feelings about social situations. Instead, anhedonia refers to a diminished or missing capacity for enjoyment.

7 Signs of Social Anhedonia

1. Social Withdrawal

Social withdrawal is the avoidance, removal, or isolation of yourself from social activities. This could look like no longer showing up to social gatherings like family dinners or a night out with friends, or even no longer engaging with friends remotely (through texting, social media, etc.).

2. Lack of Relationships

Social anhedonia can make you uninterested in relationships with other people. You may find yourself no longer wanting to pursue and maintain friendships, romantic relationships, and/or family relationships. If interpersonal interaction is not enjoyable to you, you may refrain from engaging in the relationships you have or starting new relationships.

3. Reduced Emotional Response

While most people might smile, hug, and celebrate the news and lives of their loved ones, people with social anhedonia might struggle to do so. Symptoms include a reduction or inability to show and feel emotional responses to social interactions, both verbal and nonverbal.

4. Depression

Both physical and social anhedonia can be rooted in preexisting depression, but this does not apply in all cases. If you’re struggling with some form of depression and find yourself withdrawing or preferring solitude, you might be experiencing social anhedonia. Be sure to mention this symptom to your doctor or mental health provider – it will help them help you.

If you are experiencing an inability to enjoy the good in your life and you aren’t already working with a physician or therapist, consider doing just that. A physician can look at possible physiological causes (like an out-of-whack thyroid, certain vitamin deficiencies, or medication side effects) for your symptoms, and a mental health professional can help you heal whether the causes are physical or not. Reach out to a therapist in your area today!

5. Poor Social Adjustment

When facing a new situation where you must adjust to the social climate, you might struggle to adapt if you’re dealing with social anhedonia. The skills you’ve acquired and are used to using in this type of setting may no longer be working for you. You might feel like you have to “fake it” in social situations where you’re not feeling genuine pleasure.

6. Decreased Overall Positivity

Another indicator of social anhedonia is the inability to be positive. The old you might provide encouragement, offer solutions, or bring optimism to a situation, but social-anhedonia you might not be able to. Instead, you might tend to say nothing or be pessimistic.

7. Monotone or Flat Vocal Expression

Lastly, if you’re feeling no pleasure or joy, you might also use a monotone or flat vocal expression that sounds uninterested or distracted. If this is a trend over time (versus, say, just a couple of days of flat verbal affect due to feeling blue, down, or exhausted), it could indicate social anhedonia.

Conclusion

Social anhedonia is more common than you might think. It’s a major symptom of depression. If you are experiencing any of these indicators or symptoms, consider working with a mental health professional. To learn more about your options, click here.

Struggling with anhedonia or depression? Start your search for a therapist who can walk this road with you and help you heal.

References

Healthline. (2018, September 17). Anhedonia: Symptoms, Treatment, and More. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/depression/anhedonia.

by Katherine French-Ewing, MA, Licensed Professional Counselor in Colorado

What Are YOUR Ripple Effects?

The other day, I was in the grocery store people-watching (a favorite pastime). I noticed a disturbing trend – heads down, eyes averted, super-weary body language, people silently walking around as if under a spell. My heart wept to see the disconnection. The ripple effects of this pandemic are real.

With your mask on, are you still connecting with others, making eye contact and smiling with your eyes? Or are you, like most of us, going into an auto-pilot, “find what I need and get out” mentality? To offer levity and joy, I try to go out of my way to verbally connect with people while shopping or running errands. It’s funny how diverse the responses are – surprise, delight, relief… always positive, though. I want the ripple effects of how I show up to be life-giving. 

Pandemic Ripple Effects

Have you found yourself sleepwalking through life lately? Phrases I hear frequently from new clients are “I am just trying to survive” and “I feel numb, like I don’t have time to feel anything” or “I feel ______(fill in the blank) all the time and it gets worse if I am in public.” A core part of our humanity is to yearn to be seen, heard, and to know that our existence matters. The challenge is affirming these pieces in others even when you feel less-than-affirmed yourself.  

Am I Seen?

This is our cry for uniqueness. Ever noticed how some people are making or buying blinged-out masks so they can wear something that stands out? Perhaps it is because they want to be recognized as someone who brings something unique to the table. With everyone in masks, we are slowly being desensitized to the non-verbal signals around us, sometimes resulting in a deep sense of disconnect and division. Intentional connection with those around you can overcome this phenomenon; compliment them or offer a smile so they know you see them.

Am I Heard?

With so many voices being silenced in social media today and so much content being censored, those who had been struggling pre-pandemic to believe the truth — that their voice matters — easily fall into despondent, defeatist mindsets. Find your tribe and offer your voice there in that safe space. If you feel fired up about something, consider what steps you can take to share your opinion where it will be taken seriously and respected. Your story and your perspective matter.

Do I Matter?

Your life is significant in ways you are not even aware of. Do what lights you up, and do it with all your heart. We are drawn to those who are walking in step with their values and passions. Perhaps what you are bringing into the light inspires someone else to step out courageously. When you are stuck fixating on your life circumstances, widen your scope and seek out those in need. Meet that need the best way you can and watch what happens within your heart and community. Serving others brings purpose to your life in a deeply meaningful way. The gifts, passions, and skills you can offer are unique and greatly needed.

Choose Your Ripple Effects

Think of the image of a beautifully still lake. If we throw a heavy object into that water, what happens? Think of those ripples as your decisions and thoughts every day. Are they having a positive, neutral, or negative effect on others? Today, I challenge you to gently consider what your ripple effects are in this season. Maybe even journal about it or chat with a trusted friend or family member for feedback. If your effects aren’t aligned with your values and the core of who you are, then maybe it is worth re-evaluating how you are showing up in this world. If you had a positive ripple effect on others consistently, how would your life feel and look? Connecting with a professional who is for your growth, who offers a compassionate, objective perspective, can be a game-changing experience. Your life matters. Your impact on others matters.

Working with a therapist to deal with the ripple effects of the pandemic on your life could be the best way for you to grow. Many therapists, like Katherine, offer free initial consultations so you can ensure a good fit. Search therapists in your area and find the right-fit therapist for you!

Have you ever felt lonely and wondered why? We don’t have to be alone or isolated to feel alone. Loneliness can happen when we are with family, when we get along well with other members of our community, and even when we have many friends on social media. So what, exactly, is loneliness? We feel lonely when we perceive that our social needs are not being met. Loneliness is an internal, subjective matter, explains Judith Shulevitz, science editor of The New Republic, in her 2013 essay on loneliness. It’s not about what’s happening to us on the outside, but rather what’s happening on the inside—how we think and feel about a situation.

Loneliness is an experience, a feeling of social disconnection. It can be induced by loss or a major life transition. Changing schools, a miscarriage, or a breakup can result in feeling lonely. All of these experiences share in common a broken connection. But more importantly, they share the perception one lacks an emotional bond, a bond we’re meant to have with others. How we perceive it may depend on our past.

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John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth describe this bond in infants and their parents (or primary caregivers) in their well-known attachment theory (Mercer, 2006). Their research suggests that, like infants, adults rely on an attachment figures to feel safe and supported. In fact, we unknowingly learn about relationships from attachment experiences in our early years. The attachment behaviors that develop when we are young tend to predict the way we behave when we are older. Thus, it can be insightful to think about our relationships with our parents as we grew up.

Another perspective on loneliness is that of evolutionary science. In this view, human survival depended on our ability to collaborate and share resources, explains Lynch (2017). We’re meant to connect and share our lives because our survival depended on it. We’ve become hard-wired to be social.

We know the distress loneliness causes human beings in extreme cases of social disconnection. Think, for instance, of the consequences of solitary confinement, which may include emotional distress, perceptual distortions, and self-harm. Think of the movie Cast Away, where Tom Hanks, depicting a man stranded on an island, created an imaginary friend out of a volleyball. It’s far from inconceivable. Our need to connect is strong.

Our understanding of and positive response to emotions is important in protecting us from the undesirable feeling of loneliness.

There is still much to learn about loneliness. Scholars continue to explore this topic, and contributing factors are still under study. However, research to date suggests emotional intelligence (EI), defined as the ability to identify and manage emotions, can be a strong predictor of loneliness (Zysberg, 2011). In other words, our understanding of and positive response to emotions is important in protecting us from the undesirable feeling of loneliness.

How can we use EI to overcome feelings of loneliness?

• Identify the cause: Is it limited social skills or a traumatic experience? Is it something else? Once we know the cause, we can begin to repair or find ways to heal.
• Check your thinking: Because loneliness is an internal experience of how we think and feel about a situation, it is important to check our thinking. We want to make sure we are reasonable about the situation, not overreacting or misjudging it.
• Be open to new experiences: This can be important to work on, especially if we tend to experience loneliness often. Trying something new can bring new chances for connection that we may not have considered.
• Enhance social connectedness: Here are a few ideas: reach out to old friends, coworkers, or neighbors to learn what is new in their lives; begin a tradition or ritual to connect with someone we miss (e.g., write letters to each other); or become part of a group that shares our values.
• Connect with yourself: It is okay to spend some time alone and learn to feel comfortable with our own company. We do not need to be with others all the time to enjoy life. It can be insightful to notice feelings that arise when we are alone, what happens when we change our environment, or how it feels different to engage in an activity without anyone we know around. This alone time can give us appreciation for small things we may have taken for granted and shift the way we think about feeling lonely.

Commitment to actions that may alleviate loneliness is an important ingredient for success. It can be helpful to schedule time each day to work on these changes. Cognitive behavioral therapy remains a popular treatment for loneliness (Russo, 2018). If you can’t shake feelings of loneliness, consult with a mental health professional.

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References:

1. Lynch, T. (2017). Lonely apes die—A new psychotherapy for chronic depression and anorexia nervosa. Retrieved from https://www.newharbinger.com/blog/lonely-apes-die—-new-psychotherapy-chronic-depression-and-anorexia-nervosa
2. Mercer, D. (2006). Understanding attachment: Parenting, child care, and emotional development. Westport, CT: Praeger.
3. Russo, F. (2018). The toxic well of loneliness. Scientific American, 318(1), 64-69.
4. Shulevitz, J. (2013). The lethality of loneliness. Retrieved from https://newrepublic.com/article/113176/science-loneliness-how-isolation-can-kill-you
5. Zysberg, L. (2011). Loneliness and emotional intelligence. The Journal of Psychology, 146, 37-46. doi: 1080/00223980.2011.574746