Self-kindness and emotional well-being are closely linked. Many of us seek emotional relief when life feels heavy, whether it is anxiety, sadness, overwhelm, or tension in relationships. Often, we look for solutions in the outside world: changing situations, fixing problems, or hoping others will respond differently. Yet one of the most important factors for emotional balance is the relationship you have with yourself.
Self-kindness Emotional well-being Inner critic Fall Into Self-careÂ
From my experience, two patterns often keep people from feeling better: treating themselves harshly and overlooking the inner strengths they already possess. Noticing these habits, and learning to shift them, can have a powerful impact on how you experience life and how resilient you feel when facing challenges. When you practice self-kindness and emotional well-being together, you create space for healing from the inside out.
Shift the lens
Your thoughts and beliefs shape how you feel more than the situation itself.
Soften the critic
A kinder inner voice makes it easier to access resilience and creativity.
Build steady habits
Small daily actions of care slowly rewire how safe you feel inside.
KEY IDEA
You live with your own mind every day. Changing how you relate to yourself can sometimes bring more relief than changing your circumstances.
How Self-Kindness and Emotional Well-Being Shape Your Emotions
We naturally assume our emotions arise directly from external events. Someone criticizes us, and we feel hurt. A traffic jam appears, and we feel frustrated. But emotions do not come straight from the outside world. They emerge from the meaning we assign to events, which is why self-kindness and emotional well-being are so closely connected.Because we can only experience life from within our own bodies and minds, every emotion is filtered through our perceptions, memories, beliefs, and expectations.
Think of it this way: your nervous system and your mind are like the lens through which every experience passes.That lens affects how you feel. For instance, imagine two coworkers receiving the same critical email. One thinks, “I am failing,†and feels anxious. The other thinks, “I can learn from this,†and feels motivated. This shows how perception shapes reality. By adjusting the way you interpret experiences, you can influence your emotional responses and support both self-kindness and emotional well-being.
A simple inner process
Event
What happens outside you
➜
Story
The meaning your mind gives
➜
Emotion
How you feel in your body
Need Help With Strong Emotions?
Take a look at GoodTherapy’s article on 6 steps to managing distressing emotions for practical ways to slow down, name, and work with your emotions instead of fighting them.
Why Being Kind to Yourself Matters for Emotional Well-Being
The way you interpret events is closely linked to how you relate to yourself. Many people are more patient and understanding with friends than they are with themselves. When self-talk is harsh or judgmental, “I should handle this better,†“Why cannot I just get over it?â€, it creates stress, shame, and self-doubt. Harsh self-judgment can narrow your mental focus, decrease motivation, and make it harder to access the inner resources you already have. In other words, it attacks the very person who is trying to help you heal.
On the other hand, treating yourself with patience and support creates a safe inner space. When the mind feels safe, curiosity, insight, and resilience are more available. Researchers who study self-compassion have found that people who respond to themselves with kindness tend to have less anxiety and depression and more stable well-being over time. Self-kindness and emotional well-being move together. Being kind to yourself is not indulgent. It is a foundation for emotional growth and stability.
Studies summarized by Harvard Health and other research groups show that self-compassionate people are often more motivated, not less. They bounce back more quickly from setbacks and are more willing to take responsibility because they know mistakes do not erase their worth.
Self-talk check-in
Harsh self-talk
Kinder alternative
“I always mess things up.â€
“I made a mistake. I can learn from this.â€
“I should be over this by now.â€
“Healing takes time. I am still moving.â€
“Everyone else is handling life better.â€
“I only see a part of their story. I am doing the best I can with mine.â€
Many people believe they lack resilience, adaptability, or emotional strength. In reality, these qualities are often present even when they are not immediately obvious. Self-kindness and emotional well-being become easier to build when you notice what is already working inside you.
Some examples of inner resources include:
The ability to reflect on experiences
Adaptability in new situations
Past successes in coping with difficulties
The willingness to learn from setbacks
Problem-solving skills and creativity
Even in moments of stress, these capacities remain. The challenge is accessing them, and self-kindness helps unlock them. When you soften self-criticism, you make it easier for your nervous system to calm down, which in turn makes reflection and problem solving more available.
If you struggle with a loud inner critic, it may help to read more about how it works. GoodTherapy’s article on taming the inner critic explains why that harsh inner voice shows up and how you can respond to it differently.
Notice your inner resources
Today, which strengths feel most available?
Reflection Adaptability Courage Creativity
6 Practical Ways to Build Self-Kindness and Emotional Well-Being
Here are some strategies to help you nurture your inner relationship and support both self-kindness and emotional well-being.
The self-kindness pathway
1
Notice your inner tone
2
Name the story
3
Offer small support
4
Honor your effort
5
Practice patience
6
Reach for support
1. Listen to Your Inner Tone
When you feel upset or discouraged, pause and notice how you are speaking to yourself internally. Is the tone sharp, dismissive, or demanding? Or is it supportive and understanding?
A helpful guideline is to ask: “How would I speak to someone I care about if they were feeling this way?†Then, intentionally shift your inner voice to match that tone.
This adjustment may seem small, but it has powerful effects. When your internal dialogue feels safe rather than critical, your nervous system relaxes, your thoughts become clearer, and you are more able to access your inner strengths. Over time, this practice strengthens a sense of internal companionship, the feeling that you are on your own side rather than against yourself.
Try This:
Write down a recent self-critical thought. Under it, write what you would say to a close friend in the same situation. Practice saying that kinder version to yourself.
2. Notice the Story Behind the Emotion
When a strong feeling arises, ask: “What belief is fueling this emotion?â€
For example:
Feeling anxious → “I am not capable.â€
Feeling sad → “I am alone or unsupported.â€
Feeling ashamed → “I must be perfect to be accepted.â€
When you recognize these underlying beliefs, you gain the space to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting on autopilot. Reframing your thoughts can help you navigate situations more skillfully and prevent unnecessary complications that often follow impulsive reactions.
You might find it helpful to explore how core beliefs shape your mood and reactions. GoodTherapy’s article on how core beliefs affect mental health offers concrete steps for working with these patterns.
Caring for yourself through everyday actions sends a powerful message to your mind: “You are safe. You are supported.â€
Examples include:
Taking a short break when overwhelmed
Stepping outside for fresh air or movement
Drinking water or having a nourishing snack
Resting when fatigued
Asking for help when necessary
Each small act of self-care builds trust in yourself. Over time, you begin to experience your own presence as safe, steady, and reliable. You learn that you can rely on yourself in difficult moments, making your own companionship a source of stability rather than threat. This growing self-trust strengthens your ability to face challenges and fosters emotional resilience.
If you want to build habits that last, GoodTherapy’s article on creating self-care habits that stick can help you design routines that truly fit your life.
4. Acknowledge Effort, Not Just Outcomes
We often measure our progress by the results we can see. For example, whether symptoms have reduced, whether we react differently yet, or whether relationships have improved. But emotional growth rarely follows a straight line, and progress is often subtle before it becomes visible. If you only value the outcome, you may overlook the meaningful work already happening beneath the surface.
Shift your focus from achievement to process. When you think, “I should be further along by now,†pause and replace it with something like: “I am learning. Growth takes time.†This mindset supports self-kindness and emotional well-being at the same time.
This shift matters because the mind responds to the emphasis we place. If we criticize ourselves for not changing fast enough, the nervous system becomes tense and guarded. But when we acknowledge our sincere effort (even if the change feels small or slow), the mind begins to relax and open. That openness is where insight and change can occur.
For example:
Getting through a difficult morning is effort.
Naming a feeling instead of numbing it is effort.
Taking a deep breath before responding is effort.
Showing up to therapy even when you feel stuck is effort.
These are not small. They are signs of movement. Celebrating effort reinforces patience and builds emotional safety within yourself. You begin to trust that you are trying, that you are showing up for your own growth, and that you deserve compassion while you learn. With this sense of internal support, resilience strengthens naturally.
5. Practice Patience with the Journey
As you learn to acknowledge your effort, patience becomes a natural next step. Emotional growth and self-understanding unfold gradually, often before progress is outwardly noticeable. Just as a plant needs time to root before it visibly grows, your internal shifts require space and consistency.
Patience is not about waiting passively. It is about continuing the work without criticizing yourself for not being “there†yet. Giving yourself time creates the conditions where real lasting change can take shape. This patient stance is one way that self-kindness and emotional well-being support each other every day.
If you would like to see what this looks like in practice, research from groups like Stanford’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education has shown that people who practice self-compassion tend to bounce back more quickly from difficulty and stay engaged with their goals over time.
6. Encourage Growth Alongside Professional Support
Exploring your perceptions and self-relationship can be deeply rewarding but sometimes challenging. Professional guidance, from therapy, counseling, or other supportive environments, can help you safely navigate this process. Therapy provides tools, feedback, and insight, creating a structured space to explore how your mind interprets experiences and how you relate to yourself.
Even small, consistent changes in the way you treat yourself can build over time, like compounding interest. They can lead to substantial and lasting improvements in emotional balance, confidence, and your ability to navigate life’s difficulties. Self-kindness does not replace professional care, but it makes that care more effective.
Thinking About Talking To Someone?
You can use the GoodTherapy directory to find a licensed therapist near you who understands the importance of self-kindness and emotional well-being in the healing process.
Final Thoughts: Choosing a Kinder Relationship With Yourself
Because emotions emerge from your perceptions, the quality of your self-relationship is pivotal. Harsh self-criticism blocks access to resilience, insight, and flexibility. Self-kindness opens the door to these internal resources. Research summaries from places like the Centre for Clinical Interventions and the American Psychiatric Association show that self-compassion can calm threat responses in the brain and support healthier coping.
Strengthening your relationship with yourself does not mean ignoring challenges or avoiding responsibility. It means creating a foundation from which you can observe, reflect, and respond effectively. When self-judgment softens, your mind becomes a supportive partner rather than an obstacle. Self-kindness and emotional well-being grow together on that foundation.
You live with yourself every moment of your life. Strengthening that relationship is essential for emotional health because you are your permanent partner. The relationship with yourself is the most intimate one you will ever experience. By treating yourself with care and patience, noticing the meaning behind your emotions, and acknowledging your inner resources, you lay the groundwork for personal growth.
“Kindness toward yourself is not a luxury. It is the ground on which your emotional life stands.â€
The more you nurture that internal relationship, the more capable you become of creating a meaningful, stable, and fulfilling experience of life, one where self-kindness and emotional well-being support you through whatever comes next.
Self-kindness and emotional well-being often raise questions:
Q: What is the difference between self-kindness and self-indulgence?
A: Self-kindness means responding to your own pain with care, honesty, and respect. It includes setting limits, asking for help, and taking responsibility. Self-indulgence, by contrast, ignores long-term well-being and focuses only on short-term comfort. Researchers who study self-compassion note that it often leads to healthier choices, not avoidance, because you become more willing to face difficult truths when you are not attacking yourself. You can read more about this perspective on self-compassion.org.
Q: Why is it so hard to be kind to myself even when I know it matters?
A: Many people grew up in environments where criticism seemed normal and kindness was rare or conditional. Over time, these messages can become an inner voice that feels “true,†even when it hurts. Stress, trauma, and perfectionism can also make your nervous system more alert to threat, including the threat of “failing.†Learning self-kindness asks you to question that old training. Resources like the Centre for Clinical Interventions self-compassion workbook can offer step-by-step exercises to begin shifting this pattern.
Q: Can self-kindness replace therapy or medication?
A: No. Self-kindness is an important part of emotional health, but it does not replace professional care when that care is needed. If you experience ongoing depression, anxiety, trauma, or other mental health concerns, a therapist, doctor, or psychiatrist can help you create a safe and effective treatment plan. Self-kindness and emotional well-being practices make it easier to follow through on that plan. If you are ready to talk to someone, you can use the GoodTherapy therapist directory to look for support in your area.
Q: How can I start practicing self-kindness and emotional well-being if I feel numb or shut down?
A: When you feel numb, start very small. Focus on simple, concrete actions such as drinking a glass of water, noticing five things you can see in the room, or placing a hand gently over your heart and taking three slow breaths. These steps may seem minor, but they send signals of safety to your nervous system and make it easier to feel again at a pace that is manageable. You might also explore gentle practices like those described in the Harvard Health overview of self-compassion, which highlights how small daily shifts can support long-term emotional well-being.
Emotions in college can be overwhelming and hard to navigate. College students face unprecedented pressures in today’s academic environment. Research from Frontiers in Psychology shows that academic stress may be a dominant stressor affecting college students’ mental well-being, while 37.1% of college students in the U.S. have been diagnosed with or treated for stress, with 31.1% experiencing anxiety. Whether you’re dealing with academic demands, social challenges, uncertainty about the future, or separation from family, it’s no wonder that big emotions like anxiety, anger, sadness, or stress can hit hard and fast.
Key takeaway: Learning effective college emotional regulation isn’t just helpful, it’s essential for academic success and long-term mental health. The good news? These skills can be learned and practiced.
Understanding College Emotional Regulation
College emotional regulation refers to your ability to recognize, understand, and effectively manage intense emotions during your academic journey. It’s important to keep in mind that feeling big emotions isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign that you’re human! Unfortunately, if you don’t have healthy and constructive ways of managing those emotions, they can easily become overwhelming.
Recent studies point to an increase in psychological distress among graduate students, making it more crucial than ever to develop these essential life skills. According to research published in Trends in Psychology, mindfulness-based interventions can significantly improve emotion regulation and reduce perceived stress in students. Here are six evidence-based strategies for coping with overwhelming feelings, without bottling them up or letting them completely take over.
Step 1: Label the Emotions You Feel in College
When emotions feel huge, the first step in college emotional regulation is simply to name them. Ask yourself: Am I angry? Anxious? Overwhelmed? Lonely? Research shows that labeling emotions is the first step to help manage emotional discomfort, and it’s important to become familiar with different types of emotions.
A lot of times, just identifying what you’re feeling can start to bring clarity. You might also check in with your body, are you experiencing a tight chest, clenched fists, or racing thoughts? These physical sensations can offer clues.
Try saying: “I notice I’m feeling really anxious right now.” This separates you from the emotion and gives you space to respond. The more you practice this habit of naming your emotion, the more naturally it comes, and over time you start to understand yourself better and gain insight into your feelings.
Step 2: Calm Your Body and Mind with Grounding Techniques
Regulating your nervous system when you start to notice a strong emotion can help prevent overreacting or mental spiraling. This is how you help your body and mind feel safe again.
To feel more grounded and calm, you can try:
Breathing Exercises: Try breathing in for 4, holding for 7, and exhaling for 8
Cold temperatures: Run cold water over your hands, put a cold washcloth on your forehead, or hold an ice cube for as long as you can
Move your body: Stretch, walk, dance, anything to release the tension. Visualize the emotion working its way out of your body
You don’t have to fix the emotion, just slow it down and focus on your physical experience. Research indicates that students can learn various coping mechanisms through the adoption of healthy academic habits including emotional regulation.
Step 3: Express Emotions in College Instead of Bottling Them Up
Ignoring big emotions can sometimes make them even bigger. Instead of bottling them up, try releasing the feeling in healthy ways such as:
Journaling what you’re feeling without censoring yourself
Talking to someone you trust, a friend, counselor, or mentor
Creating art that expresses your feelings
Letting yourself cry if you need to
Emotions are energy. They need expression, not suppression. Understanding healthy emotional expression can be transformative for college students struggling with overwhelming feelings.
Take Action: Open a notes app and type what you’re feeling; no filter, just flow.
Step 4: Be Curious, Not Judgmental About Your Emotions
Sometimes when you feel a big emotion, you might be tempted to judge yourself by thinking “I’m too emotional!” Or judge the emotion by thinking “I hate feeling this way!” It’s important to acknowledge that all emotions, even uncomfortable ones, are messengers. Judging them or ourselves can leave us feeling much worse and make the emotion last longer.
Instead of judging, try getting curious and asking yourself:
What triggered this feeling?
What is this emotion trying to tell me?
What do I need right now?
For example:
Anger might mean your boundaries were crossed or that you feel something is unfair
Anxiety might point to uncertainty or overestimating the possibility that something will go wrong
Sadness could signal a loss or unmet need
Understanding your emotions helps you respond wisely instead of reacting impulsively. Research shows that emotional regulation is the foundation of who we are, how we think, and how we relate to the world around us.
Step 5: Build a Toolbox for Managing Emotions in College
Everyone should have a personal set of tools for emotional first aid. These are go-to strategies you can turn to when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Some examples include:
Listen to a calming playlist
Doodle or color for 10 minutes
Cuddle with a pet or a weighted blanket
Go for a 15-minute mindfulness walk in nature and pay more attention to your surroundings than your thoughts (focus on the 5 senses)
Repeat an affirmation: “This will pass. I’ve survived before; I can do it again.”
Write yours down and keep them visible, on your phone, wall, or notebook. Consider sharing this list with a friend or trusted person in your life who can help remind you of what works best for you.
Learn more about developing effective coping mechanisms that research shows can improve mental and emotional well-being.
Take Action: Write down 3 tools that help you when you’re stressed, save them in your phone or planner.
Step 6: Know When to Ask for Help
Sometimes emotions feel too heavy to deal with alone, and that’s okay. Asking for support isn’t a failure; it’s a sign of strength and resilience. Research estimates that 10% of university students experience significant social anxiety, and many more struggle with various emotional challenges.
You may have compassionate friends or family members, but it can also be helpful to get support from a mental health professional who is trained to know exactly how to help.
If you feel stuck or overwhelmed, you may want to talk to:
A therapist
The college counseling center
A support group
A helpline or online mental health service
There are lots of resources out there, you don’t have to go through this alone.
Ready to Take the Next Step? Find qualified mental health professionals who specialize in college student issues through our verified therapist network.
FAQ: College Emotional Regulation
What is emotional regulation and why is it important for coping with emotions in college?
College emotional regulation refers to the ability to recognize, understand, and manage intense emotions effectively during your academic journey. It’s crucial because unmanaged emotions can impact academic performance, relationships, and mental health. Research shows that students with better emotional regulation skills experience less anxiety and depression.
How do I know if my emotions are normal or if I need professional help?
It’s normal to experience a wide range of emotions in college. However, seek professional help if emotions consistently interfere with daily activities, academic performance, relationships, or if you’re having thoughts of self-harm. Persistent feelings of hopelessness, inability to function, or overwhelming anxiety warrant professional support.
What are the most effective grounding techniques for dealing with emotions in college?
Evidence-based grounding techniques include: 4-7-8 breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, cold water therapy, mindful walking, and the 5-4-3-2-1 sensory technique (5 things you see, 4 you hear, 3 you touch, 2 you smell, 1 you taste). These help regulate your nervous system quickly.
How long does it take to develop better emotional regulation skills?
Developing emotional regulation skills is an ongoing process. Many students notice improvements in 2-4 weeks with consistent practice, but mastery can take several months. The key is regular practice and patience with yourself as you learn these new skills.
Can college counseling centers really help with emotional regulation?
Yes, college counseling centers are specifically equipped to help students with emotional regulation. They offer individual therapy, group sessions, workshops, and crisis support. Many centers also provide specialized programs for common college issues like anxiety, depression, and stress management.
What should I do if my emotions are affecting my academic performance?
First, implement the six steps outlined above. If problems persist, contact your college counseling center, speak with academic advisors about accommodations, consider therapy, and don’t hesitate to reach out to professors for support. Many colleges have resources specifically designed to help students balance emotional well-being with academic success.
Final Thoughts on Mastering College Emotional Regulation
Big emotions are normal, they come and go, just like waves. The goal isn’t to never feel them; it’s to learn how to ride the wave without being pulled under or overwhelmed by it. Research consistently shows that students who develop effective stress management and emotional regulation skills have better academic outcomes and mental health.
Next time your feelings feel “too much,” come back to this process: Label it. Calm yourself. Express it. Get curious. Cope. Get support.
Remember: developing college emotional regulation is a skill that will serve you far beyond your academic years. These techniques become the foundation for lifelong emotional wellness and resilience.
Ready to start your journey toward better emotional health? Our network of qualified therapists specializes in helping college students develop these essential skills. Find a therapist near you today.
References
Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT skills training manual (2nd ed.). New York, NY: Guilford Press.
Learning how to manage stress effectively becomes essential as we navigate life’s constant changes. This gentle stress management approach through self-compassion offers a sustainable path forward.
As the gift of nature and renewal surrounds us, there’s something comforting about its predictability amidst change. The coolness of the mornings, gentle unfurling of leaves, the first brave blooms pushing through soil—these reliable transformations offer reassurance even as everything shifts.
I’ve been reflecting on how we might find similar comfort in new situations that arise, especially during stressful moments or times in our lives. When uncertainty feels overwhelming, where can we discover that same sense of grounding?
This contemplation has drawn me deeper into exploring our inner worlds. Don’t you find that sometimes our minds also crave that same sense of renewal?
Understanding Stress as a Universal Human Experience
As life happens and we begin to feel the feels, it’s a time to begin to be honest about something we all navigate in our own unique ways: Stress.
Even though stress can feel so intensely personal – that knot in your stomach, the racing thoughts that keep you up at night – it’s also something that connects us all. We might not always see it in each other, but stress is a shared part of the human experience.
Instead of chasing an idea of a completely stress-free life (which can feel like another thing to stress about!), let’s explore a different path together. What if we learned to relate to stress management in a new way?
How to Manage Stress and Shift Your Perspective on it
SHIFT YOUR PERSPECTIVE:
Talk to ourselves with more kindness: Gently shifting those harsh inner critiques.
Really listen to what our emotions are telling us: Honoring our needs authentically.
Build an inner strength and move through stressful times: Learning to live alongside stress with more ease.
At the heart of it, we’re all figuring this out as we go.
For those facing particularly challenging times, these crisis management strategies can provide additional support alongside self-compassion practices.
Practical Examples of Self-Compassionate Inner Dialogue
For instance, if you catch yourself thinking: “I can’t just can’t handle all of this.”
Maybe you can try shifting that to something like: “This is a really challenging time, and I’m feeling it. But I also know I have inner strength and I’ll find a way through.”
Or when those tough days feel overwhelming and you think: “This is absolutely the worst day ever.”
Perhaps you can also acknowledge: “This is a really difficult moment, and it’s okay to feel this way. Even in tough times, there might be small things I can still appreciate.”
The Balance of Gentle and Fierce Self-Compassion
It’s not about pretending everything is perfect. It’s about taking a glimpse at living as if and finding a slightly different, more self-compassionate lens to look through. Self-compassion for anxiety and stress isn’t just about being gentle with ourselves when things are tough; it also is about a deeper inner strength.
That gentle part is about acknowledging when we’re feeling drained or overwhelmed, allowing ourselves to feel it without judgment. It’s about giving ourselves permission to rest and recharge, rather than pushing through until we burn out.
But then there’s that fierce side – the courage to set boundaries, to say “no” to things that aren’t serving us, to really honor our own needs and protect our well-being.
Why Self-Compassion Works for Stress Management
Self-compassion isn’t a magic wand that makes stress disappear. Self-compassion is an act of real self-care that helps us navigate the challenges of life with a little more grace and a lot more inner strength. It lightens the load and reminds us that we’re worthy of kindness.
Embracing a Compassionate Approach to Mental Wellness
As we embrace this season of growth and renewal, I truly hope you’ll join me in exploring what a compassionate approach to stress might look like for you.
It’s about nurturing well-being from the inside out, acknowledging the very real challenges we all face, and remembering that we deserve our own understanding and care along the way.
Chronic Pain Reprocessing Therapy: Shattering the Cycle of Chronic Pain
If you’re one of the 100 million Americans who deal with chronic pain, you know how debilitating and depressing the condition can be. Pain reprocessing therapy is an approach to chronic pain management where therapists help individuals rewire their brains — which, in turn, causes that pain to subside in many cases.
Depending on the severity of the pain, it can be hard to relax, sleep, work, or otherwise enjoy life. And it can be downright depressing, too, as you begin wondering whether the pain will ever subside — or you’ll be forced to deal with it for the rest of your life.Â
In many cases, it’s not uncommon for depression to cause stress and spiral into anger as those who suffer wonder what they ever did to deserve their pain. Even worse, the link between chronic pain and suicide is well-documented; 8.8 percent of those who committed suicide between 2003 and 2014 were dealing with chronic pain.
When most people think about treating chronic pain, they think about using drugs, engaging in physical therapy sessions, or trying alternative treatments like acupuncture and reiki healing.Â
While such approaches can certainly help, an increasing number of individuals dealing with chronic pain are trying to heal using a technique called pain reprocessing therapy.
What Is Pain Reprocessing Therapy?
Therapists use pain reprocessing therapy as an approach to chronic pain management helping individuals rewire their brains — which, in many cases, causes that pain to subside.  In fact, one recent study found that 66 percent of those treated with pain reprocessing therapy were “nearly or fully†pain-free, while 98 percent showed signs of improvement.
In other words, just because someone might think they’re experiencing chronic pain doesn’t necessarily mean they’re actually feeling chronic pain. In fact, research suggests that chronic pain can be exacerbated by — or, in some cases, even caused by — neural pathways in their brains.
To illustrate, imagine somebody slips on ice and injures their hip on a cold winter day. This individual is no doubt experiencing serious pain in the aftermath of the injury, and that pain persists for several months.Â
During that time, this person’s brain begins to “learn†about the injury and the associated pain. A year later, though the actual pain has fully subsided, the person still “feels†it because their brain is telling them it exists — even though their body appears perfectly fine when examined by physicians.
In such a scenario, pain reprocessing therapy can help this individual overcome their chronic pain by retraining their brains and “forgetting†what that chronic pain feels like — which can make the pain disappear entirely.
What Does Pain Reprocessing Therapy Look Like?
At the core of pain reprocessing therapy sits a technique called somatic tracking, which involves teaching clients to practice mindfulness, reexamine the way they think about pain, and do everything they can to view pain in a more positive and less fearful light.Â
From a high level, pain reprocessing therapy consists of five steps:
Educating clients about the pain-fear cycle, where pain triggers fear, which causes more pain, which triggers more fear, and so on.
Helping clients understand that the pain they’re experiencing is not due to any physical ailment but rather stems from psychological conditions.
Leading clients through exercises to change their perception of their pain and break through the pain-fear cycle.
Helping clients respond to other threats with a more level head.
Encouraging clients to use the power of positive thinking to transform the way they interpret the world around them with a positive mindset.
By helping folks understand the role their brains play in chronic pain, they can proactively begin to heal by rethinking their pain and the external triggers that might amplify it.
The Benefits of Pain Reprocessing Therapy
There’s a reason pain reprocessing therapy has been generating a good deal of buzz recently: the approach to healing can deliver significant benefits.
Conquering persistent pain
First things first: Pain reprocessing therapy can help clients overcome chronic pain. This, in turn, improves their overall health and makes life more enjoyable.
Learning more about yourself and your capabilities
Pain reprocessing therapy teaches us that we have more power than we might think. Simply by reframing the way you think about pain and your experiences, you learn that it’s possible to overcome physical discomfort. This teaches a valuable lesson: What else have you been holding yourself back from?Â
For example, someone who uses pain reprocessing therapy to overcome chronic pain might also have a fear of heights. After their experience with therapy, they might decide to tackle their fear head-on in a similar fashion.Â
Having a healthier outlook on life
When you deal with chronic pain over a long enough timeline, it’s easy to get down on life. Once that pain is alleviated, you can develop a healthier outlook on the future — which makes life more fulfilling for you and those around you.
What to Do If You’re Dealing with Chronic Pain
If you’re dealing with chronic pain, take comfort in the fact you’re not alone. Beyond that, here are some ways you can make your pain at least a little more bearable.
Stay positive
While we don’t have control over many things in life, we do have control over the way we think about our experiences and the world we live in. By making a conscious effort to stay positive, you can alleviate stress and anxiety, which can help you feel better physically.Â
ExerciseÂ
Though it might seem a bit counterintuitive, research suggests that you can actually relieve your pain by exercising and releasing endorphins, which are nature’s painkillers. Of course, your chronic pain might prevent you from going on five-mile runs. But anything you can do to be active — whether it’s stretching, yoga, or walking down the street — can help.
Be social
Chronic pain can make you want to isolate yourself from the world. Resist these temptations. Spending time with other people can help you overcome negative feelings and become more resilient in the face of your chronic pain.
Search for a therapist
If the preceding three tactics aren’t working for you, it may be time to begin your search for a therapist and give pain reprocessing therapy a try. The right therapist can help you overcome your chronic pain by changing the way you think about it.
Music is a powerful thing. When we are feeling anxious or fearful, music can help bring about a sense of calmness and relaxation. Consider the soothing effects of the music played in a spa or a restorative yoga class. In those environments, peaceful music tells our bodies and our minds it’s okay to relax. Music’s ability to reduce anxiety and fear is something we can use as a helpful tool in our everyday lives.Â
Harnessing the Soothing Power of Music
We can implement the same strategies ourselves wherever we may find ourselves. We can choose to play soothing music in any of the following settings:
At home (where most non-essential workers find themselves much of the time during this pandemic)
In the car
While taking public transit or traveling in an airplane
While exercising outside (walking, biking, hiking, etc)
Headphones can be a good option if there are noises in your immediate environment, if you are on the move, or if you are not wishing to disturb others around you.Â
Finding the Right Music for You
What types of music are calming will vary from individual to individual. You may have a particular style of music that is especially meaningful to you. Also, there may be certain types of music that you gravitate towards when in certain moods.Â
That said, it is relatively easy to look for playlists or channels using keywords like “calm,†“calming spa,†“chill,†“chill out,†“meditate,†“meditation,†“nature,†“relax,†“relaxing,†“relaxation,†“soothe,†“soothing,†“spa,†etc. These provide ready-made playlists and affirm that there is a need for and benefit to this kind of intentional listening.Â
You have plenty of options. Slow, quiet classical music can work well for this. Nature sounds can remind us of rain, waterfalls, streams, the ocean, wind, birdsong, crickets – the rhythms of the natural world. While we may not be outside ourselves or able to travel to those destinations at this time, we can experience the soothing effects through the music itself – regardless of our environment.
Whatever type of music you choose, this kind of listening can help reduce anxiety and fear by lowering your pulse and heart rate, dropping blood pressure, and decreasing stress hormones.
Singing Along
Singing along with songs can also be a way to invite the effects of the music to strengthen. One of the difficult effects of the COVID-19 pandemic is isolation. While it is not advisable to be singing in person with people outside one’s house (all those deep breaths can lead to germ-sharing), it is safe to sing along with the music we are listening to – especially when at home in an enclosed space. Singing along has mental health benefits, including helping you feel more connected.Â
Readying Yourself for Sleep
Choosing to listen to calming music in the evening can help induce sleep and reduce insomnia. That can be helpful as a way to disengage from the devices many of us are looking at during the day, as there does not need to be visual engagement other than starting and stopping the music itself.
Making It a Habit
A client of mine recently shared that after a recent session – which she engages in from the relative comfort and privacy of her car – she chose, instead of listening to a news channel on the radio, to select a station of spa music. She noted that she felt much less stress as a result and found herself feeling more at ease and spacious. This choice allowed her to reflect on the content of the psychotherapy session and to digest it more consciously as she transitioned during the drive to the next portion of her day with various responsibilities and tasks. She is considering making it one of her habits and utilizing this form of self-care at other times and in other ways.
Listening to music can be a very effective stress management tool to help you reduce anxiety and fear, and I encourage you to make use of it!
Find a therapist today for customized recommendations of strategies and tools that can help you thrive.
Important Notice
GoodTherapy is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, medical treatment, or therapy. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding any mental health symptom or medical condition. Never disregard professional psychological or medical advice nor delay in seeking professional advice or treatment because of something you have read on GoodTherapy.
Learning how to manage stress effectively becomes essential as we navigate life’s constant changes. This gentle stress management approach through self-compassion offers a sustainable path forward.
