With Black History Month in February and Women’s Health Month in March both fast approaching, our latest Member Spotlight series guest was the perfect choice. Dr. LaNail Plummer, a licensed therapist and author of The Essential Guide for Counseling Black Women, brings deep insight into the therapeutic process. This series highlights therapists who are eager to offer insight into the therapy experience and share valuable perspectives on how to make mental health care more approachable and authentic.
Dr. Plummer’s work emphasizes cultural competency, authentic connection, and the importance of creating spaces where clients don’t have to educate their therapist about their lived experiences. In this interview, Dr. Plummer shares practical wisdom about starting therapy, the neuroscience behind talk therapy, and why finding a therapist who truly understands you can make all the difference in your healing journey.
Whether you’re considering therapy for the first time or looking for a therapist who gets you, Dr. Plummer’s insights will help you understand what makes therapy work and how to find the right therapeutic fit.
 LIVE INTERVIEW: Watch the Conversation with Dr. LaNail Plummer
Q&A with Dr. LaNail Plummer
Q: What would you want someone who’s never been to therapy before to know about starting therapy?
Dr. Plummer:
Therapy is a relationship: it’s a therapeutic partnership or alliance. It may take a bit of time to really get into the groove of things. It takes time to build that ease and comfort. If the comfort doesn’t happen right away, give it a little more time, maybe a couple of months, to really see how you feel.
The other thing to consider is that whatever brings us to therapy, our presenting issue, may not be the root issue. Often, it’s a symptom that brings us to therapy, not the actual root. If we trust our therapist, they can help us get to that root issue. And whatever that root issue is, it has likely been forming for years, if not decades.Â
In summary, recognize that therapy is a relationship and a process, and it’s going to take a little bit of time.
Q: How can therapy help someone who feels like something’s off but can’t quite put their finger on it?
Dr. Plummer:
Our brains are designed in a particular way where we can often ruminate, specifically in the positioning between our amygdala and our hippocampus. But being able to talk through that issue pushes it through the amygdala and the hippocampus and up to the prefrontal cortex, where we’re thinking differently and have executive functioning and behavior from that. So talk therapy helps us stop that rumination. Think about a hamster on a wheel: that’s what happens with our thoughts when we keep having them recur. But therapy is the way to stop the wheel and allow the hamster to come off.
Talk therapy has a neurological effect, but it also has an emotional effect. When we’re going through something challenging and having a difficult time coming up with a solution, we need a safe space. Participating in therapy allows us to have a relationship with somebody who truly cares about what’s best for us and has a treatment plan to help us get where we want to go.
A therapist is often objective to the situation. They will ask questions and share summaries or interpretations that may allow the client to think outside the box because it’s not so personal.
Q: Why is it important for people to find therapists who truly understand them, whether through shared background, identity, or something else?
Dr. Plummer:
My most recent book, The Essential Guide for Counseling Black Women, is specific to Black women, but it’s the first in a series that will be dedicated to different demographics.
It’s important because when a client comes in, they want to be able to talk about whatever challenge they’re having and get direction, questions, summaries, and interpretations. They come in to be the client; they don’t come in to be an educator. Often, clients are looking for counselors who are similar to them in any type of identifier because they don’t want to have to explain who they are and some of the cultural nuances.
All mental health professions require their graduate students to take a multicultural course, but the course is only about 15 weeks long. It doesn’t spend as much time identifying all of the needs for different races and genders. There may be one class per course that talks about a specific race or gender, and that’s really just not enough.
A book like The Essential Guide allows therapists to go deeper in their learning and understanding so that even if a client comes and doesn’t think they are most relatable to that therapist, the therapist has the cultural competency and understanding to do more than adequate work with that client.
Q: If you had to describe your therapy approach in one sentence, what makes you a good fit for clients?
Dr. Plummer:
My approach is that I actually care about people. I actually really love people. I am extremely curious about who people are, how they became who they are, the decisions they’ve made in their life. I like to highlight their strengths as well as where there are gaps between who they currently are and who they want to be.
Most people identify me as extremely relatable. I fit into lots of different spaces and elements and lots of different engagements with other people. Because of that, I can pick up quite quickly what people need in that particular moment, whether it’s words of affirmation or a particular direction and approach.
My theoretical orientation is cognitive, so I spend a lot of time thinking about people’s thoughts and helping them think about their thoughts before we really get into the emotions and the actions they’ve taken. That tends to lead toward my therapeutic modality as well, which is CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy).
Q: What’s one practical tip or mindset shift you often share that helps people start feeling better?
Dr. Plummer:
Often, people come to therapy seeking advice. A good therapist is not going to give advice: they’re going to guide a client toward a solution that the client wants for themselves.Â
I often give the analogy that a mother teaches her daughter how to ride a bike because all she knows how to do is ride that bike. She learned how to ride a bike, she felt empowered when she learned, and it allowed her to move through spaces quicker and get things done. She’s proud of her ability to ride a bike. So when she has a daughter, she teaches her daughter how to ride a bike because she wants to pass that information on.Â
But then later in life, [the daughter] feels cheated because her mom didn’t teach her how to drive a car. But the mom never knew how to drive a car. I think that makes clients feel better in understanding that your parents and grandparents often did the best that they could, even though it wasn’t all that you needed. Just because you don’t have a need met right now doesn’t mean that it can’t get met and that somebody can lean in and support you in that process.
Wherever there are gaps, we’ll help them find out who in their life can support them. And even if it’s within them already to learn how to do certain things. I think that takes some of the pressure off of them to feel that they have to know everything right in this moment, and the challenges they’re currently experiencing won’t last forever.
Q: Tell us about your book, The Essential Guide for Counseling Black Women.
Dr. Plummer:
Many of our multicultural courses don’t teach us enough about different races and genders, and it is our responsibility to educate ourselves, as opposed to expecting the client to educate us. This book allows us to really dive deep and educate ourselves.
With over 222 pages, I have research, lived experiences, and client insights. I have therapist tips, so things that therapists need to be considering along the way as they’re reading each chapter. The book has catalyst questions, so therapists know how to engage with a client. I also have journal prompts that clients can be using. So the book is written for therapists, but it’s also written for Black women to give us all shared language about some of the experiences we’ve had.
There’s also a therapeutic guide so therapists know which therapeutic modalities would be best used when working with a Black woman on a particular theme, whether it’s cognitive therapy, REBT, or narrative therapy.
The book is specifically for those in healthcare (therapists, coaches, psychiatrists) and for Black women. It should be read by both populations, and it can be read by other people too, just to understand the lived experiences of Black women and why we do certain things. It allows Black women to be empowered and understand their experiences and why they do the things they do and how it’s helpful for who they are. As we build community, it’s important to have guides and language around how we can support each other to ensure we are not allowing our biases to enter the conversation, but instead allowing our sense of community and empowerment to be the anchor in how we continue to build relationships with people.
Finding Your Path to Wellness
Dr. LaNail Plummer’s approach to therapy embodies the core values of GoodTherapy: creating authentic, culturally competent spaces where clients can explore their challenges without having to educate their therapist about who they are. Her emphasis on patience, relationship-building, and understanding the root causes of our struggles offers a compassionate roadmap for anyone beginning their therapy journey. Whether you’re seeking therapy for the first time or looking for a therapist who truly understands your lived experience, remember that healing is a process, and the right therapeutic partnership can help you get there.
Learn more about Dr. LaNail Plummer and her practice on her GoodTherapy profile.
You can also connect with her on Instagram @mahogany_sunshine.
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If you’re a GoodTherapy member and are interested in participating in our Member Spotlight series, please reach out to
editor@goodtherapy.org.
It May be Time to Seek a Therapist
We all reach moments in life when things feel like too much — when struggles pile up, and even small tasks feel overwhelming. Maybe you’ve noticed it’s harder to get through the day, or that your once-familiar joy just isn’t there anymore. It’s not always easy to tell when a rough patch has become something deeper, but being aware of certain signs can help you decide when to reach out for extra support. When any type of mental health or emotional concern affects daily life and function, therapy may be recommended. Therapy can help you learn about what you’re feeling, why you might be feeling it, and how to cope. Psychotherapy, talk or talking therapy, counseling, or simply therapy — no matter the name it’s known by, mental health counseling can benefit people struggling with emotional difficulties, life challenges, and mental health concerns.
Why You Should Consider Therapy?
Seeking therapy isn’t about needing to be “fixed†or having something “wrong.†Instead, it’s a safe space where you can work through thoughts, emotions, and life’s complexities with someone who understands and has the tools to guide you toward feeling better. Therapy can help improve symptoms of many mental health conditions. In therapy, people can learn to cope with symptoms that may not respond to treatment right away. Research shows the benefits of therapy last longer than medication alone. Medication can reduce some symptoms of mental health conditions, but therapy teaches people skills to address many symptoms on their own.Â
Therapy also lets you talk through life’s challenges, such as breakups, grief, parenting difficulties, health impacts, or family struggles. For example, couples counseling can help you and your partner work through relationship troubles and learn new ways of relating to each other. Note that crisis resources, not couples counseling, are typically recommended for abusive relationships.
If you’ve been wondering whether it’s time to ask for help, keep reading to learn about a few common signs that therapy could bring you relief, greater understanding, and the strength to take on life’s challenges with a renewed sense of purpose.
How Common are Mental Health Issues?
Mental health issues are common. Recent statistics from the National Alliance on Mental Health show 1 out of every 5 American adults lives with a mental health condition, while 1 in 20 adults experience a serious mental health condition each year. 1 in 6 U.S. youth age 6-17 experience a mental health disorder.
But only about 40% of people with mental health issues get help. Untreated mental health issues often get worse and may have other negative effects. They could also lead to:
- Inability to work or go to school
- Difficulty in relationships or taking care of children
- Increased risk of health issues
- Hospitalization
- Suicide
Suicide is the second leading cause of death for people in the United States between the ages of 10 and 34. About 90% of people who die by suicide in the U.S. lived with a mental health condition.
The best option for anyone contemplating suicide is to get immediate help is reaching out to a suicide helpline through phone, text message, or online chat. You may be encouraged to call or visit the nearest emergency room. A therapist can help support you going forward, once you are no longer in crisis.
The GoodTherapy registry might be helpful to you. We have thousands of therapists listed with us who would love to walk with you on your journey. Find the support you need today!
Recognizing the Signs You Could Benefit From Therapy
It may take some consideration before you decide you’re ready for therapy. You might want to wait and see if time, lifestyle changes, or the support of friends and family improves whatever you’re struggling with.
The American Psychological Association suggests you consider a time to see a therapist when something causes distress and interferes with some part of life, particularly when:
- Thinking about or coping with the issue takes up at least an hour each day
- The issue causes embarrassment or makes you want to avoid others
- The issue has caused your quality of life to decrease
- The issue has negatively affected school, work, or relationships
- You’ve made changes in your life or developed habits to cope with the issue
If you experience any of the following emotions or feelings to the extent that they interfere with life, therapy may help you reduce their effects. It’s especially important to consider it’s time to see a therapist if you feel controlled by symptoms or if they could cause harm to yourself or others.
1. Feeling Constantly Overwhelmed, Anxious, or Have Intrusive Thoughts.Â
- While life is frequently stressful, constant feelings of overwhelm, unease, or anxiety can sometimes linger without relief and become so present that they negatively impact your daily life. When these feelings cause physical symptoms, constant intrusive thoughts, interfere with your ability to work, connect with others, or manage day-to-day responsibilities, it might be time to seek support. Therapy offers tools to manage anxiety and ways to identify its root causes, helping you regain a sense of calm and control.
2. Experiencing Persistent Sadness or Hopelessness.
- Sadness in certain quantities is a normal part of life, but if it persists or intensifies into depression, therapy can offer a safe space to work through your feelings. Losing hope or motivation, or feeling as if you have no future, can indicate depression or another mental health condition. Whether due to loss, major life changes, or something harder to pinpoint, a therapist can help you process dark days, find coping strategies, and regain hope.
3. Struggling with Self-Esteem or Negative Self-Talk.
- Feeling like you’re not enough or constantly doubting your self-worth can be exhausting and isolating. If self-criticism is holding you back from being social, pursuing goals, or feeling proud of yourself, therapy can help you see your inherent value. If you often compare yourself to others or constantly feel unworthy, these patterns could be signs that professional support may be needed.
4. Facing Major Life Transitions.
- Major changes, such as a new job, a move, political events, or a relationship shift, often come with their fair share of tough questions and difficult emotions. If these transitions leave you feeling stuck, unprepared, overly stressed, or totally lost, therapy can help you manage the change. Experiencing an intense fear of failure, regret, or constant second-guessing might be signs that professional support might be needed to make the transition smoother.
5. Difficulty in Relationships.
- Healthy relationships take effort, but if you find yourself facing recurring conflict, isolation, or trust issues, therapy can offer tools to navigate these challenges and strengthen your connection. Signs of recurring resentment, loneliness, or emotional distance are often early indicators that couples therapy or individual therapy might be necessary. Working with a relationship counselor can help you understand unhealthy patterns, improve communication, and build stronger, more fulfilling emotional bonds.
6. Turning to Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms.
- Turning to habit-forming behaviors for comfort can provide a quick fix, but will often lead to lasting issues. If you’re increasingly relying on substances, excessive screen time, unhealthy eating, or other habits to cope, therapy can provide a better alternative. Exploring these patterns in a nonjudgmental space can offer clarity and provide new ways to handle stress in healthier, more sustainable ways. Signs like secrecy, guilt, or relying on substances or habit-forming activities to escape your emotions can indicate a need for support in making changes.
7. Difficulty After Trauma
- Unprocessed trauma can lead to flashbacks, hypervigilance, or a constant sense of unease. If you find yourself avoiding certain places or people, struggling with trust, fighting intrusive emotions, or feeling on edge without explanation, it might be time to consider therapy. Working through the trauma with a professional can help you feel safer, and more grounded, ultimately opening, and ultimately open the door for healing.
8. Feeling “Stuck†or Lacking Motivation.
- When you feel stuck, unmotivated, or disconnected from the things you once enjoyed, therapy can help you reestablish a sense of purpose. Processing these feelings with a therapist can provide fresh perspectives, renewed energy, and the inspiration you need to face life head-on.
9. You’re Interested in Bettering Yourself.
- If you’re asking whether or not you need therapy, you might want to go ahead and try it out. Therapy isn’t just for people with trauma or “something wrong†— professional mental guidance can benefit just about anyone by improving self-understanding, everyday coping strategies, empathy, communication, and so much more. Even the “healthiest†individuals can gain so much from having a protected space to share and reflect. You don’t need to wait for things to get bad before starting therapy, just like you shouldn’t wait for health problems to appear before starting regular checkups with a physician.
Additional Signs:Â
Fatigue.Â
- This physical symptom often results from or accompanies mental health issues. It can indicate depression. Fatigue can cause you to sleep more than usual or have trouble getting out of bed in the morning.
Disproportionate rage, anger, or resentment.Â
- Everyone feels anger at times. Even passing rage isn’t necessarily harmful. Seeking support to deal with these feelings may be a good idea when they don’t pass, are extreme compared to the situation, or if they lead you to take violent or potentially harmful actions.
Agoraphobia.Â
- People with agoraphobia fear being in places where they might experience panic attacks or become trapped. Some people may become unable to leave their houses.
Apathy.Â
- Losing interest in usual activities, the world around you, or life in general can indicate mental health issues like depression or anxiety.
Social Withdrawal
- Many people feel better when they’re able to spend at least some time alone. Introverted people may need even more time alone than others. But if you feel distressed around others or fear being with other people, therapy can help you understand and deal with these feelings.
What If I’ve Already Tried Therapy and It Didn’t Work?
Sometimes therapy doesn’t “work†right away. Even in an ideal therapy situation, it can take time for symptoms to improve. – months or years. Going to therapy and seeing no change may cause frustration. Perhaps you haven’t found the right therapist, so it’s worth it to continue your search for help. If you’re still experiencing any of the symptoms above, therapy should still be an option. Don’t stop your quest to improve your mental health.
It can help to look for a therapist who treats what you’re experiencing. If you don’t have a diagnosis, you can talk to potential therapists about your symptoms. Most therapists will let you know if they’re able to treat your concern. If they can’t, they may be able to recommend someone who can.
Keep in mind different approaches may be better for different issues. If you didn’t feel heard in your previous therapy, or if your symptoms have changed since your last therapy session, a different therapist might be exactly what you to move forward.

The Benefits to Seeking Therapy
If you’re considering therapy, you may be thinking about the possible drawbacks. Cost might be a concern for you. You might also be aware that therapy is often difficult. Trauma or other painful events from the past can be frightening to remember and discuss with someone. Working through challenges isn’t easy, and therapy isn’t always a quick fix. Make sure that when you’re ready to see a therapist that you can be honest with yourself and with your them.
But if you’re willing to do the work, therapy can be rewarding. It’s a safe, judgment-free space where you can share anything, with a trained professional who is there to help.
Here are a few benefits of therapy:
- You’ll learn more about yourself. Therapists listen to your story and help you make connections. They might offer guidance or recommendations if you feel lost. Therapy can empower you to take action on your own.
- Therapy can help you achieve your goals. If you aren’t sure of what your goals are, therapy can help you clarify them and set realistic steps to meet them.
- Therapy can help you have more fulfilling relationships. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, therapy can help you address difficulties relating to others, such as insecurity in relationships or difficulty trusting your partners.
- You’re more likely to have better health. Research supports a link between mind and body wellness. Untreated mental health issues can impact physical wellness. On the other hand, people in good emotional health may be more able to deal with physical health issues that arise.
- Therapy can lead to improvement in all areas of life. If you feel like something is holding you back from living life as you envision it, therapy can help you address this. When you aren’t sure what’s keeping you from making change, therapy can help you discover the answer.
How Therapy Can Help You Move Forward
If you recognize the signs that a change is needed, starting therapy could provide a gateway to greater well-being. It’s more than just talking about what’s not right — it’s a chance to explore new perspectives, recognize patterns, and build skills that help you manage stress, strengthen relationships, and improve your overall mental state. With the right therapist, you’ll work together to set goals that feel meaningful to you, taking small steps that create lasting change.
At GoodTherapy, we make it easy to find the perfect therapist for your individual personality and needs, cutting the guesswork and difficulty out of finding empowering support. Whatever challenges you face, remember you’re not alone — help is here when you’re ready.
Even if you aren’t sure you want to commit to therapy, many therapists offer a free first session or phone consultation to talk through what you’re dealing with. Based on your symptoms, they might encourage you to get help. Begin your search for a therapist today!
If you believe you may need help beyond or in addition to a therapist, GoodTherapy Recovery Treatment Centers provide additional options to help beat addictions.
If you’ve never gone to therapy, you might not have much idea what happens in a therapy session. This is fairly common, since much of what people know about therapy comes from (often inaccurate) media portrayals.
In the past decade, awareness around mental health issues has increased significantly. Greater awareness has helped reduce mental health stigma by supporting therapy as a beneficial, normal method of getting help. Accordingly, the shroud of secrecy around therapy has started to fall away. Your friends, family members, even your coworkers may be perfectly willing to open up about their experience in therapy and how talking to a mental health professional has helped them.
But if you’re still unsure about therapy, or don’t know anyone who’s gone to therapy, you might hesitate before booking your first session. Maybe you feel nervous about what a therapist will do, or you don’t think your distress actually merits therapy.
You don’t need to experience any significant mental health issues or emotional distress for therapy to work.
Before exploring how therapy works to help people who are struggling, let’s bust that myth right now. You don’t need to experience any significant mental health issues or emotional distress for therapy to work. If you’re struggling, confused, feel like you want to sort out a problem or your life and don’t know where to start—therapy can help.
Therapy Is Personalized
The process of therapy can differ somewhat based on what you’re experiencing.
For one, the length of therapy can vary based on the issue you want help with. If you’re struggling with depression after a breakup or job loss, for example, therapy often helps you work through the problem within a few months. You might not be completely “cured,†but you’ll generally be able to resolve lingering distress on your own. That’s a key goal of therapy.
Serious or longer-lasting concerns, like trauma from abuse or chronic depression, may require more therapy sessions and a more intensive approach.
In most cases, you’ll spend just an hour each week in therapy. But your therapist might also recommend specialized types of therapy to meet your needs. Dialectical behavior therapy, for example, generally involves an hour of therapy, an hour of skills training, and an additional hour of group therapy each week.
Therapy doesn’t operate as a blanket remedy or one-size-fits-all approach. Therapy for intrusive thoughts (a component of OCD) will likely look much different than therapy for a phobia of dogs.
But even two people with generalized anxiety might see treatment proceed in different ways, based on the type of treatment the therapist specializes in and their individual needs.
If you’ve tried various coping strategies and still struggle with severe anxiety, for example, you might want to try medication, a perfectly valid (and helpful) treatment option. Your therapist should support your decision and work with you to find the right drug.
If you know you don’t want to take medication at all, unless absolutely necessary, you might look for a therapist who specializes in alternative treatments, like yoga or nature therapy.
Therapy Helps People Reach Goals
You might consider going to therapy (or want to avoid therapy entirely) with the idea that your therapist will give you advice, tell you what to do, or ask how every little thing makes you feel.
But therapy doesn’t work like that. Rather, therapy offers a safe, nonjudgmental space for you to talk about problems and anything that’s overwhelming you or even just making life a little tough. Your therapist listens to what you have to say and then works with you to develop a plan to confront challenges and achieve an improved quality of life.
You can also go to therapy if you aren’t experiencing significant distress. Therapy can be beneficial in the pursuit of any goal, no matter what that goal is.
Maybe you want to date but feel you lack the skills to approach someone or make a relationship work. Perhaps you want to work on being closer with your teenage children. Or maybe you just want to break a lifelong nail-biting habit.
Whatever your goal, your therapist will help you explore potential changes you can make to arrive at the outcome you desire. But you come to therapy with your goals (or spend time identifying them in session). You also have an opportunity to share solutions that don’t work, which can help you and your therapist work together to find something that will have benefit.
Say you’ve been feeling low because you no longer have time to create art. Your therapist asks what a typical day looks like for you. After you explain your schedule, they point out you’re spending all your time doing things for others, something you never stopped to consider.
In short, therapy can help you work to identify and break concerning patterns or habits on your own. Therapists don’t give you all the answers. They help you find the right tools to help yourself.
In therapy, you drive the car. Your therapist can help you navigate when you get lost or help dig you out if you get stuck in the mud.
Therapy Puts You in Control
In therapy, you drive the car. Your therapist can help you navigate when you get lost or help dig you out if you get stuck in the mud. But your therapist doesn’t decide where you go or how you get there. You do that work yourself.
That’s why finding a therapist you can work well with is so important. You can often help personalize your own therapy experience by choosing your own therapist, so look for someone you feel comfortable with.
Therapists aren’t machines. Their unique personalities, mannerisms, and styles of interaction will likely show through in the therapy process. Their personality can help attract you to the work you’re doing together, or put you off it.
Finding a therapist who will encourage you to keep pushing through difficulties, even when it’s unpleasant, is also essential. Therapy often feels uncomfortable, even unpleasant. That’s a normal part of the process. But when you and your therapist have a strong working relationship, you trust them to support you through the discomfort and arrive at a place where you feel ready to make change.
If you don’t believe your therapist will continue offering compassion and support, regardless of the thoughts you share or challenges you face, you’ll have a harder time opening up and sharing your vulnerabilities. As a result, therapy may have less effect.
You pay for therapy. It’s your space to create change. Your therapist offers guidance during the process, but you work toward what you need.
Conclusion
If you go into therapy looking for a quick, easy solution, or with the hope your therapist will solve all your problems, you won’t get much out of the process.
Therapy can be hard work, and going into therapy with this in mind can help prepare you for the occasional tough session. But when you work with the right therapist, therapy can be productive and healing, and most of your sessions will probably feel rewarding, even when they’re a little difficult.
Ready to find a compassionate therapist? GoodTherapy is the best place to start. Start your search here.
References:
- Frey, E. (2017, April 27). How therapy actually works and 5 myths about therapy debunked. Retrieved from https://medium.com/kip-blog/5-myths-about-therapy-debunked-17e7fdd8b8a5
- Going to a therapist. (2018). TeensHealth. Retrieved from https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/therapist.html
- Understanding psychotherapy and how it works. (n.d.). American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/understanding-psychotherapy
- What is psychotherapy? (2019). American Psychiatric Association. Retrieved from https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/psychotherapy
