Remember when we called it the information superhighway? That is what it was, back when the internet first showed up. The deal felt simple: you logged on, looked things up, learned something, and left. Now, the feed can reach past your willpower and into your social media nervous system response before you even realize what happened.
Doomscrolling
Vicarious trauma
Attention boundaries
In this blog
And then something happened.
The superhighway became a supermarket. Everything is for sale now. The cost is not just money. It can be your emotional energy, your time, your relationships, your sanity, your regulation, and your ability to sit in a quiet room for five minutes without reaching for the glowing rectangle in your pocket.
Let us talk about what happened, why it matters, why it is not your fault, and what it can look like to get your ground back.
Key insight
The problem is not that you are weak. A social media nervous system response often begins because the feed is designed to bypass reflection and keep the body on alert.
Two Different Harms, One Nervous System
When we talk about “media,” we usually mash together two very different things your body has to deal with.
There is a clinical name for what can happen when we are exposed to suffering that is not ours over and over: vicarious trauma or secondary traumatic stress. In a study on media-induced secondary trauma during the COVID-19 pandemic, Lamba et al. (2023) explored how repeated media exposure can affect mental health during collective crises. This used to be something we talked about mostly with therapists, nurses, and first responders. Now, thanks to smartphones, many more people are exposed to other people’s pain again and again.
Both streams, the addictive and the disturbing, move through the same nervous system. That is the part most people miss.
Your Body Does Not Know It Is Just a Phone
Your nervous system was built for real threats. The kind that show up, get handled, and go away. It does not know what TikTok is. It cannot tell the difference between a bear and a shaky video of a bombing. It cannot tell the difference between friends laughing at your joke and bots boosting a stranger’s comment section.
It reacts to what it sees. Every time.
Heart rate up. Chest tight. Breath shallow. Cortisol dumping. That is supposed to happen briefly: burst, resolve, safety. But scrolling breaks that rhythm. Threat, threat, threat. Comparison, comparison, comparison. No resolution. No off switch. No “it is over now.”
Your body may think you are still in the woods with the bear, hours after you put the phone down.
And the research keeps piling up:
- A systematic review and meta-analysis found that problematic social media use is linked to higher rates of depression, anxiety, and stress in adolescents and young adults (Shannon et al., 2022).
- A meta-analysis linked use of social networking sites with self-reported depressive symptoms, with particular concerns around passive or comparison-based use (Vahedi & Zannella, 2021).
- The World Health Organization reported that problematic social media use among teens rose from 7% in 2018 to 11% in 2022, alongside lower overall well-being (WHO, 2024).
- Excessive screen time has been discussed in relation to changes in brain structure, sleep disruption, attention, and stress regulation (Stanford Lifestyle Medicine, 2024).
So no, it is not just you. It is not only in your head. A social media nervous system response can show up in the body, and it is measurable in sleep, attention, mood, and tension.
A grounded way to think about trauma exposure
If distressing content keeps following you into sleep, relationships, work, or your body, it may help to learn more about how trauma can shape nervous system responses.
What It Looks Like When It Is Wearing You Down
The harm builds slowly. That is why most people do not connect the dots. They just notice something is off.
See if any of this lands:
A quick self-check
- Sleep that does not feel like rest, even when you get eight hours.
- A low hum of worry that eases the second you pick up your phone and comes right back when you put it down.
- Things that used to bring joy feel oddly flat.
- You cannot sit with your own thoughts for more than a minute without reaching for something.
- Cycles of anger and guilt leave you drained.
- Bitterness creeps into places it did not used to live.
- Comparison makes your actual life feel smaller than it is.
- Tension gathers somewhere in your body: jaw, shoulders, stomach, chest.
If a few of those hit, you are not broken. You are a person responding the way a person is supposed to respond to a world you were never built to absorb at this speed.
Change the Design, Not Just the Behavior
Here is the trap. People try to use willpower against apps built to get past willpower.
Guess who wins that fight.
The move is not to try harder. It is to change the design.
When self-kindness helps the reset stick
A feed boundary works better when it is not fueled by shame. If your inner critic gets loud, this GoodTherapy article on self-compassion and the inner critic may be a useful companion.
Try this now: 5-4-3-2-1
Name five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can feel, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.
This does not erase the content you saw. It helps your body locate the present moment, which is the only place safety can register.
Put Your Own Oxygen Mask On First
There is a reason flight attendants tell you to secure your own mask before helping the person next to you. A person who has run out of air cannot help anyone else breathe.
Research on caregivers points to a similar reality. Compassion fatigue and burnout are serious concerns among health care professionals, and ongoing research continues to examine how overexposure to distress and depleted regulation can affect people who care for others (Capobianco dos Santos et al., 2025).
Stepping back from media is not selfish. It is not giving up either. It is what lets you stay connected to the people and causes you love without becoming a casualty of the feed.
Support can make the pattern easier to change
If social media nervous system stress is affecting your sleep, relationships, or sense of safety, you can find a therapist through GoodTherapy and talk through what is happening without shame. If you are unsure where to start, GoodTherapy’s guide to finding the right therapist can help you think through fit.
What Comes Back
People who try this often notice the same thing. The first week is weird. Quieter than expected. Sometimes a little lonely. You may pick up your phone out of habit and put it back down. That is not relapse. That is recalibration.
Then something shifts. Sleep gets deeper. Thoughts come back online. Creativity sneaks in. Conversations go longer. The body settles into a kind of safety it had not felt in a long time.
You do not have to throw your phone in the ocean. You just have to stop letting it think for you. Your attention is one of the most valuable things you have. You are allowed to protect it.
Frequently Asked Questions
Common questions about feed stress, body cues, and getting help.
References
| Capobianco dos Santos, C. G., Santos Neto, M. F., Carvalho, S. R. P. V. T., Furlani, M. R., Martins, C. C., Santos, E. R., Menezes, J. D. S., Silva, M. Q., Santos, L. L., Molina, T. C., Castro, N. A. A. S. R., Cristóvão, H., Santos Júnior, R., Brienze, V. M. S., Lima, A. R. A., Fucuta, P. D., Vaz-Oliani, D., Domingos, N. A., Miyazaki, M. C., . . . André, J. C. (2025). Compassion fatigue and burnout among health care professionals: Protocol for a scoping review. JMIR Research Protocols, 14, e66360. https://doi.org/10.2196/66360 | |
| Lamba, N., Khokhlova, O., Bhatia, A., & McHugh, C. (2023). Mental health hygiene during a health crisis: Exploring factors associated with media-induced secondary trauma in relation to the COVID-19 pandemic. Health Psychology Open, 10(2). doi: 10.1177/20551029231199578 | |
| Shannon, H., Bush, K., Villeneuve, P. J., Hellemans, K. G. C., & Guimond, S. (2022). Problematic social media use in adolescents and young adults: Systematic review and meta-analysis. JMIR Mental Health, 9(4), e33450. https://doi.org/10.2196/33450 | |
| Stanford Lifestyle Medicine. (2024). What excessive screen time does to the adult brain. | |
| Vahedi, Z., & Zannella, L. (2021). The association between self-reported depressive symptoms and the use of social networking sites (SNS): A meta-analysis. Current Psychology, 40(5), 2174-2189. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-019-0150-6 | |
| World Health Organization. (2024). Teens, screens and mental health. |
Protecting Your Attention Is Care
If your feed keeps leaving your body on alert, support can help you sort through what is being activated and what needs to change.
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About the Author Griffin OakleyMSCP, NCC, LMHC, LPC Griffin Oakley, MSCP, NCC, LMHC, LPC, is a licensed therapist specializing in trauma, CPTSD, attachment, and identity work. His work focuses on helping adults make sense of overwhelming inner experiences with more steadiness, self-understanding, and practical support. He provides telehealth therapy to adults throughout Florida through Curious Mind Counseling, where he supports clients navigating trauma recovery, nervous system stress, and relationship patterns. |
Suicidal thoughts are often treated solely as symptoms to be eliminated or risks to be managed, yet this narrow focus can overlook their deeper meaning. Many people who experience suicidal thoughts are also carrying unresolved trauma, loss, or chronic emotional pain. This article explores what suicidal thoughts may be trying to tell us, reframing the desire for death not as a literal wish to die but as a signal that something in a person’s life, identity, or relationships has become unbearable or unsustainable. When these thoughts are approached with curiosity, compassion, and attention to meaning alongside safety, therapy can become a space where individuals feel understood rather than silenced, and where genuine change can begin.
If safety feels uncertain
If you or someone nearby may act on suicidal thoughts or cannot stay safe, call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline now, use 988 chat, call local emergency services, or go to the nearest emergency room. The National Institute of Mental Health warning signs can also help loved ones recognize when immediate support is needed.
Why Suicidal Thoughts Are So Often Misunderstood
For many people, the moment suicidal thoughts arise, fear takes over. Individuals may feel ashamed, frightened by their own minds, or convinced that something is deeply wrong with them. Friends and loved ones often react with panic, while professionals may quickly move into assessment and crisis management.
While safety is essential, fear-based responses can unintentionally shut down the very conversations people most need to have. When suicidal thoughts are treated only as emergencies or warning signs, individuals may learn that honesty leads to consequences rather than care. As a result, many people hide these thoughts, even as they continue to suffer internally.
This silence can be deeply isolating. Instead of feeling supported, individuals may feel reduced to a problem that needs to be fixed or controlled. Over time, this can reinforce the belief that their pain is unacceptable or too much for others to hear. GoodTherapy’s guide on talking and writing about suicide offers helpful language for approaching the subject with care.
Key insight: Safety matters, but people are often more willing to talk honestly about suicidal thoughts when their pain is met with steadiness instead of panic.
A Different Lens: Suicidal Thoughts as Communication
Many people who experience suicidal thoughts are not expressing a true desire to die. Rather, they are expressing a desire for their pain to end. This distinction matters.
Suicidal thoughts can serve as a form of communication when other ways of expressing distress feel unavailable or unsafe. They may emerge when someone feels trapped, overwhelmed, exhausted, or disconnected from meaning and connection. In this sense, suicidal thoughts are not evidence of weakness or failure but signs that something in a person’s internal or external world is asking for attention.
Seen through this lens, the question shifts from “How do we make these thoughts stop?” to “What are these thoughts trying to tell us?” This reframing does not minimize risk. It makes room for both suicide prevention and a more humane understanding of pain.
PainA desire for pain to stop+
Suicidal thoughts may point to emotional pain that has exceeded a person’s current capacity to carry it alone.
LossA grief that has not been witnessed+
When grief is minimized, delayed, or unsupported, suicidal thoughts can become one way the mind signals that something important still needs care.
TraumaA nervous system stuck in survival+
Trauma can leave the body scanning for danger and the mind searching for escape, even long after the original harm has passed.
SupportA need for agency, connection, and safety+
The presence of suicidal thoughts can be a signal that support needs to become more immediate, collaborative, and compassionate.
A meaning-focused question can sound like
What feels impossible to keep carrying? What has gone unheard for too long? What kind of support would make the next hour safer? What would make life feel one small degree more livable?
The Role of Trauma, Loss, and Chronic Emotional Pain
For many individuals, suicidal thoughts are closely tied to unresolved trauma or loss. Trauma can disrupt a person’s sense of safety, identity, and trust in others. Loss, whether sudden or prolonged, can leave emotional wounds that do not heal easily, especially when grief is minimized or unsupported.
Chronic emotional pain may develop when someone has spent years feeling unseen, unheard, or required to carry more than they are equipped to manage. Over time, this accumulation of pain can overwhelm the nervous system. The body and mind may enter a state of exhaustion, where continuing to endure feels impossible.
In these moments, suicidal thoughts may arise as an imagined escape from relentless suffering. This does not mean the person truly wants life to end. Often, it means they cannot see another way forward. The CDC’s suicide risk and protective factors note that relationship, community, health, and life circumstances can all shape risk and protection.
GoodTherapy’s article on how complex trauma changes a person offers additional context for understanding why long-term pain can affect safety, trust, and identity.
When Survival Takes Precedence Over Living
Some people experiencing suicidal thoughts have spent much of their lives in survival mode. They may appear highly functional, meeting responsibilities, caring for others, and seeming capable. Internally, however, they may feel numb, disconnected, or deeply lonely.
Survival mode can keep someone alive, but it does not necessarily make them feel alive. When life becomes reduced to endurance rather than meaning, suicidal thoughts may surface as a response to this inner deadening. They can reflect a longing for rest, relief, or an end to constant striving.
Understanding this context allows for a more compassionate response, one that recognizes how much strength it has taken to survive up to this point.
A More Helpful Pathway
Unbearable pain
Honest language
Safety support
Meaning and agency
The Limits of Risk-Only Approaches
Traditional approaches to suicidality understandably focus on risk assessment and prevention. These strategies save lives and are often necessary. However, when risk management becomes the sole focus, the deeper emotional story can be overlooked.
Checklists and assessments do not capture the full complexity of human suffering. They cannot fully explain why someone feels trapped, empty, or hopeless. When people sense that only certain answers are acceptable, they may disengage or minimize their experience.
This does not mean safety should be ignored. Rather, it suggests that safety and meaning must be held together. When individuals feel heard and understood, they are often more willing to engage honestly in conversations about safety and support. For loved ones, GoodTherapy’s suicide prevention guide outlines ways to respond with directness and care.
How Therapy Can Create Space for Meaning
Therapy has the potential to offer something many people experiencing suicidal thoughts have never had: a space where their pain is taken seriously rather than feared or dismissed.
In a meaning-oriented therapeutic approach, suicidal thoughts are explored gently and respectfully. Clients are invited to talk about what feels unbearable, what has been lost, and what feels impossible to change. Instead of rushing to solutions, therapy slows the process down, allowing understanding to emerge.
These conversations do not encourage harm. They honor the reality of suffering while opening pathways toward agency, connection, and hope. If you are considering therapy, GoodTherapy’s step-by-step guide on how to find the right therapist can help you think through fit, safety, and support.
Looking for support?
You can use GoodTherapy to search for a therapist who can help you talk through suicidal thoughts, trauma, grief, and emotional pain with care.
Rebuilding Trust After Difficult Therapy Experiences
Some individuals experiencing suicidal thoughts have previously sought help and felt misunderstood, dismissed, or even harmed. These experiences can make it difficult to trust therapy again. When someone has learned that vulnerability leads to invalidation or control, they may approach new therapeutic relationships with understandable caution.
Acknowledging this history matters. Therapy can be effective only when trust is built slowly and collaboratively. A respectful therapeutic process emphasizes transparency, choice, and pacing, allowing clients to remain active participants in their own care.
Over time, consistent attunement and honesty can help repair not only the relationship with therapy but also a person’s relationship with themselves.
Reclaiming Agency and Choice
One of the most important aspects of healing is the restoration of agency. Suicidal thoughts often arise when people feel powerless, trapped, or unable to influence their circumstances. Therapy can help individuals reconnect with choice, even when options feel limited.
Agency does not mean forcing positivity or making drastic changes overnight. It may begin with small acts of self-understanding, boundary setting, or self-compassion. As people begin to understand what their suicidal thoughts are communicating, they can explore new ways of responding to their needs.
This process often includes learning to recognize emotional and relational patterns, identify values and sources of meaning, develop healthier ways to ask for support, build tolerance for difficult emotions, and imagine change without overwhelming the nervous system.
When depression is part of the picture, it can be especially important to have timely support. GoodTherapy’s article on depression and suicide explains when to seek help and why warning signs should be taken seriously.
When Hope Feels Out of Reach
Hope is often misunderstood as optimism or certainty. For people experiencing suicidal thoughts, hope may feel distant or unrealistic. In therapy, hope does not need to be forced or manufactured.
Sometimes hope begins as a sense of being less alone. Sometimes it shows up as curiosity, or as a willingness to stay present for one more conversation. These small shifts matter.
Healing is rarely linear. There may be moments of progress alongside moments of discouragement. A supportive therapeutic relationship can help individuals stay connected through these fluctuations, offering steadiness rather than pressure.
A Compassionate Closing
If you or someone you love experiences suicidal thoughts, it is important to know that these thoughts are not a personal failure. They often reflect pain that has gone on too long without adequate support. They may be signaling unmet needs, unresolved grief, or a longing for change that feels out of reach.
Understanding what suicidal thoughts may be trying to tell us does not replace the importance of safety. It deepens it. When people feel understood rather than judged, they are more likely to reach out, stay engaged, and explore new ways of living.
Therapy can be a place where these conversations are held with care, respect, and honesty. When meaning and compassion are allowed alongside safety, the possibility of genuine and lasting change becomes more accessible.
If you are struggling or feeling unsafe, reaching out for support can be an important step. Speaking with a trusted person, a mental health professional, or a local crisis resource can help you navigate this moment with care and support. The NIMH 5 action steps can also help loved ones respond when someone is in emotional pain.
Frequently Asked Questions
Direct answers about suicidal thoughts, therapy, trauma, grief, and immediate support.
Take the Next Step
You do not have to make sense of suicidal thoughts alone. Compassionate support can help hold both immediate safety and the deeper meaning beneath the pain.
Find a Therapist Near You >
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About the Author Kristin RobertAssociate Marriage and Family Therapist Kristin Robert is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist in Westlake Village, California. Her work centers on helping individuals and couples navigate intimacy, loss, betrayal trauma, grief, anxiety, relationship patterns, and major life transitions. Her GoodTherapy profile lists her work with teens, adults, and elders, and concerns including grief and loss, anxiety, depression, trauma, relationship pain, life transitions, and suicidal ideation and behavior. Her approach emphasizes compassion, honesty, meaning-making, and support for people navigating painful or uncertain seasons. |
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a well-known mental health condition that arises from experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event. However, a lesser-known but equally significant condition, Complex PTSD (C-PTSD), occurs when an individual endures prolonged or repeated trauma, particularly in interpersonal contexts. Understanding the distinction between PTSD and C-PTSD, recognizing symptoms, and exploring treatment options is essential for individuals seeking healing and support. Often times CPTSD is mis diagnosed, as symptoms like anxiety and depression come with it.
What is Complex PTSD?
Complex PTSD is a psychological disorder that develops in response to chronic trauma over an extended period. This type of trauma often occurs in situations where escape is difficult or impossible, such as childhood abuse, domestic violence, emotional neglect, or prolonged bullying. Unlike PTSD, which can result from a single traumatic event, C-PTSD stems from sustained traumas, particularly when inflicted by caregivers or authority figures. These traumas can be less noticeable, like microaggressions, but over time they wear down a persons ability to function.
How is C-PTSD Different from PTSD?
While PTSD and C-PTSD share similarities, they differ in key ways:
- Nature of Trauma: PTSD can result from a one-time traumatic event, such as an accident, natural disaster, or assault. C-PTSD develops from prolonged trauma, particularly in interpersonal relationships.
- Emotional Dysregulation: Individuals with C-PTSD often struggle with intense and persistent emotional difficulties, including anger, shame, or sadness, which may not be as pronounced in PTSD.
- Distorted Self-Perception: C-PTSD sufferers frequently experience a deeply ingrained sense of worthlessness, guilt, or a feeling of being permanently damaged, whereas PTSD typically centers on fear-based responses.
- Relationship Challenges: Those with C-PTSD often struggle with trust, forming secure attachments, or fearing abandonment, making interpersonal relationships more difficult than for those with PTSD.
- Dissociation and Identity Issues: Individuals with C-PTSD may experience depersonalization, a fragmented sense of self, or memory issues related to their trauma.
Symptoms of C-PTSD
The symptoms of C-PTSD can be grouped into several categories:
- Emotional and Psychological Symptoms:
- Intense emotional reactions or difficulty regulating emotions
- Chronic feelings of guilt, shame, or self-blame
- Depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts
- Emotional numbness or dissociation
- Cognitive and Behavioral Symptoms:
- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
- Persistent negative beliefs about oneself or the world
- Self-destructive behaviors (substance abuse, self-harm, risky behaviors)
- Interpersonal Symptoms:
- Trouble forming and maintaining relationships
- A tendency to isolate from others
- Difficulty trusting people, even those who are safe
- Fear of abandonment or intense need for reassurance
- Physical Symptoms:
- Chronic pain, headaches, or gastrointestinal issues
- Sleep disturbances, including nightmares or insomnia
- Increased sensitivity to perceived threats (hypervigilance)
Treatment Approaches for C-PTSD
Healing from C-PTSD is a complex process, but with the right therapeutic support, individuals can learn to manage symptoms, develop resilience, and improve their quality of life. Some of the most effective treatments include:
- Therapy:
- Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT): Helps individuals reframe negative beliefs and develop healthier coping strategies.
- Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR): Uses guided eye movements to process traumatic memories and reduce emotional distress.
- Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): Focuses on emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and improving interpersonal skills.
- Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy: Addresses the fragmented self and helps integrate different aspects of identity.
- Medication:
- Antidepressants (such as SSRIs and SNRIs) can help manage symptoms of anxiety and depression.
- Mood stabilizers and anti-anxiety medications may be prescribed in some cases.
- Yoga, meditation, and breathwork can help regulate the nervous system.
- Somatic Experiencing (SE) helps release trauma stored in the body.
- Art or Music Therapy can provide non-verbal ways to process trauma.
- Lifestyle and Self-Care Practices:
- Establishing routines to create a sense of safety and predictability
- Engaging in creative outlets, journaling, or mindfulness practices
- Building supportive relationships and practicing self-compassion
The Path to Healing
Recovery from C-PTSD is not linear, but with the right support, individuals can regain a sense of safety, self-worth, and emotional balance. Seeking professional help, building healthy relationships, and practicing self-compassion are critical steps toward healing.
If you or someone you know is struggling with C-PTSD, reach out. It is important to find a practitioner who understands CPTSD and can facilitate an effective treatment plan. CPTSD is not a life sentence, you can take the first step toward reclaiming a life free from trauma’s grip.
Trauma is a deeply personal experience, and if you’re reading this, I want you to know that your feelings are valid. You are not alone in your healing journey, and while the road may feel overwhelming at times, taking small steps can lead to profound transformation. Whether your trauma stems from a single event or prolonged distress, you have the strength to move forward.
Understanding Your Trauma
Your trauma is unique to you. It may have resulted from childhood adversity, abuse, accidents, violence, or loss—anything that overwhelmed your ability to cope. The lingering effects might include anxiety, depression, flashbacks, hypervigilance, or difficulties trusting others. Recognizing these signs is the first step in acknowledging your pain and taking control of your healing.
Steps to Overcome Trauma
- Acknowledge Your Experience
You don’t have to minimize your pain or pretend it doesn’t exist. It’s okay to feel hurt, angry, scared, or numb—your emotions are real and valid. Give yourself permission to feel, and remind yourself that healing begins with self-acceptance.
- Seek Professional Support
You don’t have to do this alone. Finding a therapist who resonates with you can make a huge difference. Whether through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), or somatic therapy, a professional can provide a safe space for you to process your emotions and find strategies that work for you.
- Develop Healthy Coping Mechanisms
Your healing process is personal, and finding what works for you is key. Consider exploring:
- Mindfulness and Meditation: Ground yourself in the present moment to reduce anxiety.
- Journaling: Express your thoughts, fears, and progress in a way that feels right for you.
- Creative Expression: Whether it’s through art, music, or writing, creativity can be a powerful outlet.
- Physical Activity: Movement can help release built-up tension and improve your overall mood.
- Build Your Support System
You deserve support from people who truly care about you. Seek out trusted friends, family, a support group, or even an online community where you feel safe expressing yourself. You don’t have to carry this burden alone.
- Practice Self-Compassion
Your healing isn’t linear, and setbacks do not mean failure. Be kind to yourself, and remind yourself that progress is progress—no matter how small. If you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk, try replacing those thoughts with words of kindness, just as you would for a friend.
- Establish a Sense of Safety
Your healing journey includes rebuilding a sense of safety and stability. Setting boundaries, creating comforting routines, and engaging in activities that make you feel secure can help you regain control over your life.
Moving Forward
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting—it means integrating your experiences in a way that allows you to move forward with strength and resilience. You have already taken an important step by seeking understanding, and I want you to know that healing is possible.
If you ever feel overwhelmed, please reach out to someone you trust. You are worthy of healing, and you deserve to reclaim your life.
Trauma-related panic attacks can be a terrifying and overwhelming experience. They can strike suddenly and leave you feeling powerless, helpless, and out of control. However, you can learn to manage and overcome these attacks with suitable coping strategies. This article will explore practical coping strategies for trauma-related panic attacks so that you can move from panic to peace. From deep breathing exercises and mindfulness to grounding techniques and cognitive-behavioral therapy, we will discuss strategies to help you regain, reduce and control the impact of panic attacks on your life. Whether you are a trauma survivor or you know someone struggling with panic attacks, this article will provide valuable tools and insights to help you cope with the challenges of trauma-related panic attacks and achieve a greater sense of calm and well-being. So, let’s dive in and explore the practical techniques that can help you move from panic to peace.
Understanding Panic Attacks And Trauma Triggers
Panic attacks usually occur suddenly with intense fear or discomfort and could happen to anyone. However, it is more common in people who have experienced trauma. Trauma can trigger panic attacks, and the symptoms can include rapid heartbeat, sweating, trembling, shortness of breath, chest pain, nausea, and a feeling of impending doom.
It is essential to understand that panic attacks are a natural response to stress and fear and are not signs of weakness or mental illness. Trauma-related panic attacks can be triggered by a specific event, such as a car accident or a physical assault, or they can be triggered by everyday situations that remind you of the trauma.
When coping with trauma-related panic attacks, it is crucial to identify your triggers and understand how they affect you. Doing this allows you to develop a plan to manage the symptoms and thus reduce the occurrence of panic attacks in your life.
The Impact Of Trauma-Related Panic Attacks On Mental Health
Trauma-related panic attacks can have a significant impact on your mental health. They can cause you to be isolated, feel anxious, and depressed. You may feel constantly on edge, waiting for the next panic attack. These feelings can affect your relationships, work, and overall quality of life.
If left untreated, trauma-related panic attacks can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), a severe mental health condition that can cause long-term emotional and physical problems.
It is essential to seek help if you are struggling with trauma-related panic attacks. There are a variety of treatments that could help you in managing the symptoms of panic attacks and hence improve your mental health.
Coping Techniques For Panic Attacks – Deep Breathing, Grounding Exercises, And Mindfulness
Several coping techniques can help you manage trauma-related panic attacks. Deep breathing exercises, grounding techniques, and mindfulness can all be effective in reducing the impact of panic attacks on your life.
Deep breathing exercises involve taking slow, deep, long breaths and focusing on your breath as it enters and leaves your body. Exercises like this can help you relax and reduce your anxiety.
Grounding techniques involve focusing on your senses and your surroundings. For example, you might focus on the feel of your feet on the ground, the sound of a nearby bird, or the smell of fresh flowers. Doing this can help you feel more connected to the present moment and reduce your feelings of panic.
Mindfulness involves focusing on the present moment and accepting your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Practicing mindfulness can help you increase your self-awareness and thus reduce your anxiety.
Seeking Professional Help For Trauma-Related Panic Attacks
If you are struggling with trauma-related panic attacks, it is vital to seek professional help. You do not need to face the challenges of mental health by yourself. You can seek help from a qualified professional.Â
Various treatments for trauma-related panic attacks are available, including cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), Brainspotting, and medication.
CBT is a therapy that helps you change and identify negative thought patterns and behaviors. It can be effective in treating trauma-related panic attacks.
EMDR and Brainspotting are brain-based therapy. EMDR uses eye movements to assist you in processing traumatic memories. Brainspotting therapy uses spots in a person’s visual field to help them process trauma. It accesses trauma trapped in the subcortical brain, the area of the brain responsible for motion, consciousness, emotions, and learning. Both EMDR and Brainspootting can effectively reduce the impact of trauma-related panic attacks.
Medication can also be effective in treating trauma-related panic attacks. Several types of medications can be used, including antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications.
Lifestyle Changes To Manage Panic Attacks – Exercise, Healthy Diet, And Sleep
In addition to seeking professional help, several lifestyle changes can help you manage trauma-related panic attacks. Adequate sleep, regular exercise, and a healthy diet can all effectively reduce your anxiety and improve your mental health.
Exercise could help to relieve stress and feelings of anxiety. A healthy diet and sufficient sleep and rest are also essential as they help you feel more energized and thus improve your overall well-being.Â
Support Networks For Coping With Trauma-Related Panic Attacks
A support network can be an important part of coping with trauma-related panic attacks. Sharing your difficulties with trusted friends and family members could help you feel less alone and more supported.
Support groups are another helpful way to connect with others who have experienced trauma and are struggling with panic attacks. There are a variety of support groups available, both in-person and online.
Alternative Therapies For Panic Attacks – Acupuncture, Meditation, And Yoga
Several alternative therapies could help in reducing the impact of trauma-related panic attacks. Acupuncture, meditation, and yoga are all practices that can help you reduce and relax your anxiety.
Acupuncture, which posits tiny needles in specific points on the body, could also help reduce anxiety and improve overall well-being.
Meditation, which involves paying attention to a specific sound, object, or phrase, could help reduce stress effectively and hence help decrease the frequency of anxiety attacks and improve your overall well-being.
Yoga, which involves a combination of breathing exercises, physical postures, and meditation, is another helpful way to help reduce stress and anxiety and improve your overall well-being.
Medication For Panic Attacks – Pros And Cons
Medication can effectively treat trauma-related panic attacks, but it is essential to consider the pros and cons before starting any medicine. Antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications can help reduce your symptoms but can also have side effects.
It is important to work closely with your healthcare provider to select the most suitable course of treatment for your specific needs.
The Importance Of Self-Care In Managing Trauma-Related Panic Attacks
Self-care is an integral part of managing trauma-related panic attacks. This includes taking care of your emotional, physical, and spiritual needs.
Self-care activities include taking a warm bath, reading a book, spending time in nature, practicing a hobby, and resting. Finding activities that help you relax and bring you joy is important. Adequate rest is also essential in helping us to rejuvenate our energy.
Conclusion
Trauma-related panic attacks can be a challenging and overwhelming experience. Still, there are practical coping strategies that can help you manage your symptoms and improve your mental health, such as practicing deep breathing exercises, mindfulness, and grounding techniques regularly to help you move from panic to peace.
If you are struggling with trauma-related panic attacks, it is vital to seek professional help to develop a treatment plan tailored to your specific needs. By making lifestyle changes, building a support network, and practicing self-care, you can reduce the impact of panic attacks on your life and achieve a greater sense of calm and well-being.
The GoodTherapy registry might be helpful to you to find a therapist if you have experienced trauma-related panic attacks. There are thousands of therapists listed who would love to walk with you on your journey. Find the support you need today.
People Pleasing Is Not a Personality Flaw.
It is a response to trauma and/or stress that can develop into being one of the primary ways a person deals with challenges. In this way, people-pleasing may look like who you are, but it’s actually something you learned to do.
That’s because we are wired to automatically protect ourselves in different ways. Pleasing (or “fawningâ€) is now recognized as one of four trauma responses (i.e., fight, flight, freeze, and fawn). According to Peter Walker, licensed psychologist and expert in complex trauma, “Fawn types seek safety by merging with the wishes, needs, and demands of others.â€
Since pleasing is initially an automatic response, this protective strategy begins mostly outside of our awareness. Over time, it either becomes one of our go-to strategies for automatically protecting ourselves when we feel unsafe emotionally or relationally. Or we develop some flexibility and ability to choose different responses.
It makes sense that one of the automatic responses is to please or agree with whomever you feel threatened by, especially until you can get some space from this person. But if this becomes how you handle almost everything, then over time, your happiness, physical well-being, and relationship satisfaction will suffer.
Pleasing can be a particularly difficult reaction to change since it is often socially and culturally reinforced in families, the workplace, and in educational systems. What starts as you trying to make others happy, keep the peace, or earn others’ approval, is usually encouraged and conditioned as the right and best thing to do.
If you are ready to liberate yourself from this automatic response and have more choices and flexibility in how you respond to difficult situations, then keep reading. Together, we will explore the possible ways the pleasing strategy became activated within you.
If you are looking to speak to a therapist reach out to one in Las Vegas, NV or find a therapist closer to you.
Experiences That Can Activate the People-Pleaser Response
Which one of these describe your life experience? (It may be one or more than one.)
- Experiencing violence of a parent, caregiver, or partner
- Having an emotionally unavailable parent
- Being in a relationship with a narcissistic parent or partner
- Growing up in a family that avoided conflict or had a lot of conflicts
- Growing up with a parent or family member who struggled with persistent, physical and/or mental health issues
- Experiencing and/or being a part of a group of people who experiences racism, discrimination, exclusion, or micro-aggressions
Each of these situations helps create an environment ripe for not feeling or being safe saying no, disagreeing, or being different. And one of the options in coping with these situations is to either try to become invisible, keep the peace, or put what others need and want above your own well-being.
Whew! Take a deep breath. Acknowledging what you didn’t receive growing up or in your adult relationships can bring up grief, anger, and hurt. Offer yourself some understanding and sincere compassion for not receiving what you needed. And know that today can begin the journey of you learning to give yourself what you need.
Finding Hope After People Pleasing Is Your Go-To Strategy
While at times it may feel impossible to free yourself from this automatic response, there is hope.
Growing up with a parent who was emotionally unavailable due to their own physical and/or mental health struggles may leave you feeling like no one is there for you when you need support too. Over time, you learned it was more important to not rock the boat, to put your needs aside, and to help your parent or family in any way you could.
Chances are you may have even gotten praised in school or your family for being the good, strong, talented, or smart one. And no one, probably not even you, had any idea you needed more from them. You may not have even known you were giving up your own needs, dreams, or beliefs, because it happened so gradually.
Then, you enter the workforce and/or relationship as an adult, and you are both praised for being such a hard worker and assigned more work when others don’t do their part. You take on more and more, absorbing what others don’t, both in terms of tasks and feeling responsible for others. And eventually, you find yourself burned out, resentful, and unhappy.
That’s when you start craving something different and recognizing that you have been ignoring what you need and want. You may even start to speak up, but are met with others’ reactions, anger, and guilt. Often, you find you need a different kind of support than what you have available to you.
This is where working with a counselor, therapist, or trauma-informed coach can help. It can give you a safe place to process feelings that arise, practice new responses, and discern what is working and not working for you.
You may decide to liberate yourself from roles you’ve had in your family and/or relationship for most of your life. And you may be met with loss and/or conflict, so asking for support can help you keep connecting with yourself and what you need and/or want. The more you connect with yourself and what’s best for you, the more choices you can find. Then pleasing becomes less of your go-to and more of a choice, one of the possible responses among many.
I’d love to hear how this lands for you. What is your biggest takeaway or a-ha from reading this?
Here are some additional resources from the GoodTherapy Psychpedia:
The GoodTherapy Registry might be helpful to you. We have thousands of Therapists listed with us who would love to walk with you on your journey. Find the support you need today.
Marci Payne, MA, LPC is a licensed therapist in Missouri and self-love coach globally. She helps ambitious adults heal people-pleasing, perfectionism, and past hurts, so they are free to be themselves. Receive her free “Emotion Self-Care Guide†and begin listening and giving yourself what you need too, even when others don’t.
by Bren Michelle Chasse, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Healing from Trauma Does Not Hinge on a Survivor’s Ability to Forgive
Forgiveness is an evolutionary phenomenon that, historically, has been a necessary part to building and sustaining community (Tooby & Cosmides, 2005)). In early times, it allowed groups to minimize conflict and helped support, foster, and preserve cooperation so that groups could function effectively, thrive, and achieve the goals necessary for their survival. In short, group members needed each other, a fact which didn’t change when a wrong had been done. They had to learn to deal with wrongs and stay alive. Over time, the concept of forgiveness has transformed into a modern-day virtue. Many consider forgiveness to be the moral high ground. There are even mental health providers who believe forgiveness to be the holy grail of healing, identifying it as a necessary therapeutic objective or clinical goal (Luskin, 2003). I am not one of them.Â
A Deeper Look at Forgiveness and Trauma
Research has shown that, in general, people practice forgiveness more readily within their tribe or primary support group, while more likely to withhold forgiveness from those outside their group (McAuliffe & Dunham, 2016). However, this research depends on an assumption of high-functioning group dynamics. Not every relationship we experience in our lives (or even within our own family systems) falls into this category. It is simply inappropriate to generalize and apply a forgiveness model evenly across the board to all relationships. Relationships, by definition, are nuanced and very complex—and so is the experience of trauma. Â
Additionally, not all transgressions are created equal. For example, I may be able to forgive a close friend who lied to me but find myself unwilling or unable to forgive the same friend if they were to assault me. A one-size-fits-all approach to healing simply doesn’t work! More specifically, the forgiveness model, when applied equally across domains, is fundamentally flawed. It fails to account for context, attachment style, cultural implications, personal moral values, organic individual differences, past experiences (including prior trauma exposure), and the depth and breadth of the transgression. Â
Force-Fed Forgiveness?
Unfortunately, I’ve found in my practice that many clients have a history of being force-fed (through various sources) the value and importance of always forgiving. Consider the Lord’s Prayer, which requires we stand humbly before God and ask, “Forgive our trespasses…†and challenges us to “…forgive those that trespass against us.†The pressure to forgive is often applied by those we hold in high regard. When family members, advisors, mentors, close friends, or spiritual leaders insist on this, many clients feeling gaslit, shamed, and forced to betray themselves by placing the needs of their perpetrator above their own.Â
Healing from trauma requires a focus on the self — not on the needs of another. When we claim that forgiveness is a necessary component of healing, we tell survivors that they cannot be whole again unless they extend forgiveness even to those who have committed the most physically and psychologically violent acts imaginable.Â
Making Change Happen
As a society and as therapists, we must begin to change the language and conversation around forgiveness. If we don’t, we maintain the status quo and risk becoming part of the problem. The language we use, especially when we are in a position of power, really matters.Â
We have to change the way we think about this topic as well. An unwillingness to forgive does not directly translate to anger, aggression, seeking revenge, or a refusal to move on, nor does it necessarily equate to a dysfunctional response to trauma. In many cases, survivors simply don’t relate to the concept of forgiveness. The healing journey focuses on creating and enforcing healthy boundaries, refusing to hold toxic secrets, learning to prioritize their own physical and emotional needs, and healing the younger parts of themselves that still feel stuck in the trauma of their past. If forgiveness isn’t part of a survivor’s healing journey, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong.Â
Be True to Yourself as You Heal
Let me be clear — for those that find forgiveness to be a healing part of your journey, I encourage you to embrace it. If you don’t relate to that, or if you feel forgiveness is a barrier to your healing, I encourage you to honor that. What I am arguing is that not everyone who experiences trauma will benefit from sharing physical, emotional, or psychological space with the person who has harmed them. Forgiveness is not necessarily a required stop along the path toward healing. Simply put, how you heal is up to you!
References
Luskin, F. (2003).  Forgive for good: A proven prescription for health and happiness. Harper One.
McAuliffe, K. & Dunham, Y. (2016). Group bias in cooperative norm enforcement. Philosophical Transactions of The Royal Society B Biological Sciences, 371(1686). doi https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9221.2008.00688.x
Tooby, J. & Cosmides, L. (2005). Conceptual foundations of evolutionary psychology, in Handbook of Evolutionary Psychology, ed. Buss, D. M. Wiley, 5-67.
What Makes Clergy Abuse So Different?Â
Acts of sexual abuse are inexcusable. Acts of sexual abuse at the hands of priests, clergy, and other religious leaders are particularly inexcusable, not only given the many facets of their unique positions but also because of the complexity of the religious institutions that employ them. Clergy abuse causes harm in many ways, but new laws are increasing accountability for clergy members and legal options for abuse survivors.Â
The abusive acts are never the fault of survivors. It takes courage for a survivor to acknowledge that abuse occurred. For some, reading this article may be a step in your process of acknowledging what has happened to you. You are not alone.Â
This Moment in History
Clergy abuse is not a new phenomenon. Survivors, many of whom were children at the time of the sexual abuse, are now coming forward in greater numbers. This is, at least in part, due to recent changes in law allowing survivors to seek civil justice for the pain, emotional distress, and trauma suffered as a result of the abuse.Â
Clergy Abuse Is Different
Clergy members are unique in their positions. Due to the inherent nature of their esteemed positions and the belief that they are closer to God, religious leaders occupy positions of authority. They are respected and deemed trustworthy. They are also the very people who are expected to set an example of moral and ethical behavior in our communities. People often look to clergy when in need of help, guidance, or to confess their sins. Â
Betrayal of Trust
However, when members of clergy prey on their students and congregants, they are exploiting not only their trust but the trust of their families. These are the people they are supposed to be serving. Many survivors have suffered in silence, fearful that they would not be believed if they reported the abuse. Indeed, the dark irony is that the abuser may be the same person the survivor would have otherwise turned to for counseling in such a time of need. Furthermore, when the perpetrator of sexual abuse is a clergy member, the religious institution may also be responsible and liable for the abuse.Â
Criminal acts of sexual abuse have been committed by local religious leaders and their employees for decades. The most common example is the longtime and ongoing abuse, mostly of minors, by Catholic clergy members. The 2015 film “Spotlight†told the true story of the Boston Globe journalists who uncovered decades-long cover-ups at the highest levels of Boston’s religious, legal, and government establishments, touching off a wave of revelations around the world. Because the cycle of abuse had occurred for so long in secret, with little to no consequences for the abusers, several of the accused or convicted in this investigation and others like it stated that the abuse had become normalized to them. Â
The Impact of Clergy Abuse
Emotional Distress
Most, if not all, survivors will agree that the impact of sexual abuse does not stop once the physical contact has ended. Physical contact is often associated with levels of emotion, and it is well documented by organizations such as the Department of Health and Human Services that survivors feel shame, guilt, and embarrassment surrounding the abuse they suffered. These very same feelings are what predators count on to keep their abused silent.Â
If you are wrestling with the emotional distress of abuse, help is available. Click through to find a therapist near you who can help.Â
Power and Manipulation
When the abuser is a religious leader or member of the clergy, complications can arise because they often know how to elicit certain responses from people. Many priests are expected to be able to soothe and counsel people in times of emotional distress. It is reasonable to believe that if that same priest had engaged in physical or sexual abuse, he could use that specialized ability in more sinister ways, namely, to deter a survivor or their family from reporting the abuse to other leaders within the religious organization or to law enforcement.Â
An abuser will often feel he is in control of the situation and will go on with life and business unscathed, believing he will presumably be backed by his religious institution if accused. That influence can begin with something as simple as a whispered rumor among the congregation to preemptively tarnish the survivor’s reputation. From there, the abuser succeeds if the matter snowballs in his favor or if the survivor never comes forward with a claim.Â
Psychological Trauma
Psychological trauma often goes hand-in-hand with emotional abuse. But the critical difference between the two is that psychological abuse has stronger effects on a survivor’s mental capacity. While emotional abuse affects what people feel, psychological abuse affects what and how they think.Â
It’s not uncommon for psychological abuse to take place during and even after the physical act(s) of abuse. This often looks like manipulation, gaslighting, or making harmful threats. In an instant, an innocent survivor will feel that what is happening is acceptable or that no one will believe them. Although many individuals do face hurdles when coming to terms with and reporting physical and sexual abuse no matter the context, reporting the abuse can often be a way to take back their own power.Â
Mental Health Concerns
It is important for survivors of sexual abuse to seek professional help and to find healthy ways to cope with the emotional and psychological impact of their abuse. People who have experienced psychological abuse often report feelings of depression, suicidal ideation, low self-esteem, difficulty trusting others, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). PTSD has effects that can last for years. It can paralyze people’s mental states to prevent them from working, concentrating, or caring for themselves and others.Â
Trying to Cope Through Substance Abuse
The psychological impact can also lead to drug and alcohol abuse as a coping mechanism. The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism has published several studies and reports detailing how alcoholism can be a consequence of child abuse. While alcohol and controlled substances may do long-term damage, they can be perceived as providing temporary solace from the torment. However, research shows that alcohol can actually complicate symptoms of anxiety, depression, and PTSD.Â
Sexual and Physical Pain
Physical abuse such as beatings, lashings, and burnings may have been supplemented by sexual acts performed or demanded by clergymen. The physical pain endured by survivors is often accompanied by and causes emotional distress and psychological trauma as well.
The Road to Healing
It is common for anyone who has been through the trauma of sexual abuse to want to feel safe and to regain control of their life. The process of healing from abuse is different for everyone, and support groups for survivors have grown in recent decades.Â
But there is a difference between healing and justice, and survivors should feel vindicated if they want one or both.Â
You Have Rights
The abuse of a child almost always occurs in private and out of public view, so proving that the church or religious organization knew or should have known (of the abuse) can be particularly challenging. Thankfully, legal reforms in California and other states have been passed to help empower survivors and their families.Â
California Law
In 2019, California Governor Gavin Newsom signed into law AB 218, which enhanced protections for survivors of crime and abuse. This law includes measures establishing an amnesty clause protecting survivors and witnesses of sexual assault.Â
For survivors of childhood sexual abuse that occurred in California, this update to the law adds extra time to seek civil justice. AB 218 raised the age limit for abuse survivors to bring legal action against their abusive clergy member or other church-affiliated abusers. This law gives survivors of childhood sexual abuse until age 40 – or five years from the discovery of the abuse – to file civil lawsuits. Before AB 218, the age limit had been 26, or within three years from the discovery of the abuse. Furthermore, AB 218 provides a three-year lookback window for claims that would have previously expired under the old law.
The Legal Process for Survivors Wanting Justice
Survivors of sexual abuse now have stronger laws on their side. If survivors want to secure civil justice, they can do so in a court of law. It can be tough to investigate claims if the reported abusive conduct took place many years ago. Still, it is important to move forward with them regardless of how much time has passed.Â
The first step in achieving justice for a survivor of sexual abuse is to speak with a plaintiffs’ lawyer who is familiar with these new laws and has had success litigating sexual abuse claims.Â
Law firms like mine represent clients of almost every age, gender, sexual identity, and race. We have collaborated with experts for years on civil and criminal matters involving clergy sexual abuse. It’s important to know that if you have suffered abuse, you have rights that you are free to exercise.
Mary Alexander is a plaintiff attorney based in San Francisco who represents victims of abuse and accidents. Visit her firm’s website here.
If you’re struggling to deal with any type of abuse, please reach out for help. There are many trauma therapists who are trained to support people in your exact situation. You don’t have to go it alone. To find a trauma therapist who can help, click through to search for a therapist near you and filter by Common Specialties>All other issues>Abuse/Abuse Survivor Issues.
Understanding Intergenerational Trauma: An Introduction for Clinicians
January 8, 2021 • By Dr. Fabiana Franco, PhD, DAAETS
by Dr. Fabiana Franco, PhD, DAEETS
Simple trauma describes a single, circumscribed traumatic event (such as an assault). Complex trauma occurs when a person experiences a series of repeated traumatic events or when new, unique traumatic incidents occur such as natural disasters. Complex trauma early in life can damage multiple aspects of the child’s development. Complex trauma may involve entire families in incidents of violence, addiction, or poverty. (1)
Historical Trauma
Historical trauma refers to traumatic experiences or events that are shared by a group of people within a society, or even by an entire community, ethnic, or national group. Historical trauma meets three criteria: widespread effects, collective suffering, and malicious intent (2). Historical Trauma Response (HTR) can manifest as substance abuse, suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, anger, violence, and difficulty in emotional regulation (3)
Intergenerational Trauma
Intergenerational trauma (sometimes referred to as trans- or multigenerational trauma) is defined as trauma that gets passed down from those who directly experience an incident to subsequent generations. Intergenerational trauma may begin with a traumatic event affecting an individual, traumatic events affecting multiple family members, or collective trauma affecting larger community, cultural, racial, ethnic, or other groups/populations (historical trauma). Those affected by intergenerational trauma might experience symptoms similar to that of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), including hypervigilance, anxiety, and mood dysregulation.
Intergenerational trauma was first identified among the children of Holocaust survivors (4), but recent research has identified intergenerational trauma among other groups such as indigenous populations in North America and Australia (3)(5). In 1988, one study showed that children of Holocaust survivors were overrepresented in psychiatric referrals by 300% (6). The subjects were selected based on having at least one parent or grandparent who was a survivor.
Parenting as an Explanation for the Phenomenon of Intergenerational Trauma
While the existence of intergenerational trauma is well documented in multiple studies across several cultures, the mechanisms of transmission of intergenerational trauma remain unclear.
Trauma’s Effects on Parents
Parents may transmit inborn genetic vulnerabilities triggered by their own traumatic experience or via parenting styles that have been impacted by their trauma (7). Trauma survivors face many challenges when they are parents, including difficulty bonding to and creating healthy emotional attachments with their children. Yael Danieli categorized four adaptation styles amongst the families of survivors: Numb, Victim, Fighters, and Those Who Made It. Survivors who become numb seek silence by self-isolating, have a very low tolerance for stimulation of any kind, and are minimally involved in raising their children. Victims fear and distrust the outside world, try to remain inconspicuous, and are frequently depressed and quarrelsome. Fighters focus on succeeding at all costs and retaining an armor of strength, making them intolerant of weakness or self-pity. Those Who Made It are characterized by their pursuit of socio-economic success but also by the ways in which they intentionally distance themselves both from their experience of trauma and from other survivors (8).
Effects on Children
Children experience and understand the world primarily through direct caregivers and are, therefore, profoundly affected by their parents’ modeling. Children both mimic their parents’ behaviors and learn to navigate future relationships based on how they learned to relate to their parents. Enduring coping mechanisms due to the effects of trauma may be forged out of efforts to avoid and/or “fix†a parent’s abusive behavior, anger, depression, neglect, or other problematic behaviors.
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The Great Famine in Ukraine of 1932-1933 and Intergenerational TraumaÂ
The Holodomor (derived from the Ukrainian “to kill by starvationâ€â€˜) is also known as the Famine-Genocide in Ukraine, the Terror-Famine, the Great Famine, or the Ukrainian Genocide of 1932–33. It resulted from deliberate actions on the part of the authorities in Soviet Ukraine who, under the direction of Joseph Stalin, sought to force collectivization on the ethnic Ukrainian peasant population. This resulted in the deaths of millions (11).
In 2010, Brent Bezo conducted a pilot study to understand the generational impact of the Holodomor. Bezo interviewed 45 people from three generations of 15 Ukrainian families. The first generation survived through the Holodomor: the second and third generations were their children and grandchildren.
The study revealed that the coping mechanisms that the direct survivors had developed during the genocide were retained in the family system and passed down to their children and grandchildren. They described living in “survival mode,†including difficulty trusting people, a food-scarcity mentality, low self-worth, hoarding, social hostility, and risky health behaviors (10).
Aboriginal Communities in Canada and Intergenerational TraumaÂ
Aboriginal communities in Canada suffered from sustained trauma. For generations, Canada tried to forcibly assimilate Aboriginal people by placing them in residential schools, removing children from their families, and generally attempting to eradicate their culture and traditions (5).
The effects of this prolonged trauma have impacted First Nations groups on individual and collective levels, including markedly high rates of depression and self-destructive behaviors compared to the non-Aboriginal population. One of the challenges for mental health professionals working with community members is to understand the effects of intergenerational trauma on their clients, including a well-earned mistrust in the ministries of outsiders.
When Trauma is not Acknowledged – Learning From the Armenian Genocide
Mental health professionals are often unfamiliar with the history of those they seek to treat. Unrecognized and, therefore, unacknowledged traumatic events, such as family trauma or childhood trauma will go on to pose unique challenges for both client and clinician.
Trauma Denied
The Armenian Genocide, during which the Ottoman Turkish Empire massacred 1.5 million Armenians in 1915, is an example of historical trauma that has often been either minimized or denied outright. In fact, the mass murder of Armenians, Assyrian, Greek, and other Christian and religious minority populations of the Ottoman Empire between 1914 and 1923 has yet to be acknowledged as a genocide by the Turkish government (11). It can be especially challenging to cope with an injury while you are still fighting for its acknowledgment a century after it was inflicted. Additionally, due to this lack of formal recognition, Armenian survivors find it difficult to trust non-Armenian mental health professionals with their history and pain (12).
Coping: Family Closeness
Dagirmanjian suggested narrative therapy as a treatment with Armenians (12). Narrative therapy allows survivors to embody and settle into their perception and view of themselves (11). Another important key to working with Armenians is understanding the way Armenians value family closeness. This trait has sometimes been misunderstood and even considered unhealthy by Western clinicians who have been trained to approach family therapy with the goal of promoting individuation (12). In general, it is crucial for the mental health professional to understand the cultural context of the person suffering from trauma, including intergenerational trauma, to provide the most effective and sensitive treatment.
When Trauma Attacks the Core of a Person’s IdentityÂ
Systematic attacks on a person or group’s identity, such as the Holocaust or the Aboriginal experience, are particularly damaging because identity and tradition are essential to perceived meaning in life. Victor Frankl, in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, describes the imperative for people to feel securely connected to meaning in their life: without specific meaning, it is literally impossible to live (13).
In approaching survivors of historical trauma in which the intent was not only to inflict pain or kill but to demean and, ultimately, erase the identity of an entire people, the therapist must be aware that recovery requires the restoration of morale, identity, and purpose.
Culturally-Mindful Interventions
In Canada’s Aboriginal communities, intergenerational trauma treatment is complicated due to high substance use (which is itself likely a sequela of historical trauma). A valuable 2015 study (14) demonstrated the importance of blending Aboriginal and Western healing methods to treat intergenerational trauma when it was associated with substance use disorder among Aboriginal people in Canada (14). A vital element in this approach is reclaiming and recovering Aboriginal identity, including traditions, philosophies, and practices, and adapting them to current circumstances and needs. Programs that enhanced identity through cultural affiliations, increased cultural awareness through healing circles and family involvement, and were strongly influenced by traditional Aboriginal spirituality contributed significantly to decreases in substance use, domestic violence (which are often associated with substance use), and an overall increase in individual and communal healing (14).
The Role of Epigenetics in Intergenerational Transmission of TraumaÂ
Maternal stress and trauma are associated with health consequences for both mother and child, including low birth weight, fetal growth, and preterm delivery (15). The effect of maternal stress and trauma translate into additional risks for the infant later in life, including hypertension, heart disease, Type II diabetes mellitus, and even cancer (16).
Epigenetics refers to the study of heritable changes in gene expression in response to behavioral and environmental factors that do not change the underlying DNA sequence. In other words, epigenetics is the study of inherited changes in phenotypical properties without a difference in the inherited genetic makeup. Recent studies demonstrate that traumatic events can induce genetic changes in the parents, which may then be transmitted to their children with adverse effects (17).
In 2005, a study conducted to better understand the relationship between the PTSD symptoms of women exposed to the World Trade Center collapse on September 11, 2001, and their infant children’s cortisol levels found lower cortisol levels both in the mothers and their babies (18). Cortisol is a hormone released through the adrenal gland which helps regulate stress response. These findings speak to the importance of factoring epigenetic effects into our evolving understanding of how posttraumatic effects may be transmitted across generations (18).
Take Away Lessons for Mental Health Professionals Treating Intergenerational TraumaÂ
Intergenerational trauma may be transmitted through parenting behaviors, changes in gene expression, and/or other pathways that we have yet to understand fully. These may be biological, social, psychological, and/or a mixture of all three. As we trace these modes of transmission, practitioners will be better able to match interventions to specific factors that either propagate traumatic effects across generations or mitigate against their transmission. Different sources of intergenerational trauma will likely require different approaches. Innovative treatments for multigenerational trauma that borrow from indigenous cultures, acknowledge historical trauma, connect to group identity, and support survivors in finding meaning and purpose in their experience and that of their family and people are already providing practical tools for practitioners and point the way towards future progress for future generations.
References
(1) Courtois, C. A. (2008). Complex trauma, complex reactions: Assessment and treatment. Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy, S(1), 86-100. Accessed August 24, 2017.
(2) O’Neill L, Fraser T, Kitchenham A, McDonald V (June 2018). “Hidden Burdens: a Review of Intergenerational, Historical and Complex Trauma, Implications for Indigenous Familiesâ€. Journal of Child & Adolescent Trauma. 11 (2): 173–186.
(3) Maria Yellow Horse Brave Heart “The historical trauma response among natives and its relationship to substance abuse: A Lakota illustration.†Journal of Psychoactive Drugs 35(1).
(4) Fossion P, Rejas MC, Servais L, Pelc I, Hirsch S (2003). “Family approach with grandchildren of Holocaust survivorsâ€. American Journal of Psychotherapy. 57 (4): 519–27.
(5) Aguiar, W. & Halseth, R. (2015). Aboriginal peoples and Historic Trauma: The processes of intergenerational transmission. Prince George, BC: National Collaborating Centre for Aboriginal Health.
(6) Sigal, J. J., Dinicola, V. F., & Buonvino, M. (1988). Grandchildren of Survivors: Can Negative Effects of Prolonged Exposure to Excessive Stress be Observed Two Generations Later? The Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, 33(3), 207–212.
(7) Bowers, M. E., & Yehuda, R. (2016). Intergenerational Transmission of Stress in Humans. Neuropsychopharmacology: official publication of the American College of Neuropsychopharmacology, 41(1), 232–244.
(8) Danieli, Y. (1981). Differing adaptational styles in families of survivors of the Nazi Holocaust: Some implications for treatment. Children Today, 10: 6-10.
(9) Werth, Nicolas. 2007. “La grande famine ukrainienne de 1932–1933.†In La terreur et le désarroi: Staline et son système, edited by N. Werth. Paris. ISBN 2-262-02462-6. p. 132.
(10) DeAngelis, T. (2019, February). The legacy of trauma. Monitor on Psychology, 50(2). http://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/02/legacy-trauma
(11) Mangassarian, Selina L. (2016). 100 Years of Trauma: the Armenian Genocide and Intergenerational Cultural Trauma, Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 25:4, 371-381
(12) Dagirmanjian, S. (2005). Armenian families. In G. McGoldrick & N. Garcia-Preto (Eds.), Ethnicity and family therapy (pp. 437–450). New York, NY: Guilford.
(13) Frankl, V. E. (1984). Man’s search for meaning: An introduction to logotherapy. New York: Simon & Schuster.
(14) Marsh, T.N., Coholic, D., Cote-Meek, S. et al. Blending Aboriginal and Western healing methods to treat intergenerational trauma with substance use disorder in Aboriginal peoples who live in Northeastern Ontario, Canada. Harm Reduct J 12, 14 (2015).
(15) Dunkel-Schetter, C, Wadhwa, P, & Stanton, AL. (2000). Stress and reproduction: Introduction to the special section. Health Psychol; 19(6): 507-509.
(16) Barker, D. J. P. (1998). Mothers, babies and health in later life (2nd ed,). Edinburgh: Churchill Livingstone.
(17) Yehuda R, Bierer LM (2009). The relevance of epigenetics to PTSD: implications for the DSM-V. J Trauma Stress 22: 427–434.
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Many might assume that the intergenerational transmission of trauma from parent to child occurs through abuse or neglect, but this is not always the case.
Trauma can also be passed on through changes in gene expression. This is known as the epigenetic transmission of trauma. Epigenetics is understood as changes in gene function that are heritable and not associated with changes in one’s DNA sequence (Dupont, Armant, & Brenner, 2009). It is thought that epigenetic changes can occur as a result of extreme stress, such as in the case of parents with histories of trauma.
Heritability of Trauma
Research with children of Holocaust survivors has indicated that children can inherit the traumatic memories of their parents. The evidence is so compelling that some have argued children can inherit the unconscious minds of their parents. Some children of Holocaust survivors have even been known to have genocide-themed nightmares. Although it can be argued the children receive Holocaust imagery through shared stories and narratives, it does not explain their increased vulnerability to stress-related diagnoses such as complex trauma (C-PTSD) and posttraumatic stress (PTSD).
While may be more difficult to prove the inheritance of traumatic memories, we do know that psychological stress can affect gene expression patterns via the nervous system.
While may be more difficult to prove the inheritance of traumatic memories, we do know that psychological stress can affect gene expression patterns via the nervous system. It may be that the disposition to develop PTSD and C-PTSD is passed down through an epigenetic route (Kellermann, 2013).
When Symptoms Occur Without a History of Trauma
It is important to understand that trauma can be inherited independently of difficult family circumstances. A child can develop anxiety, depression, or other stress-related issues such as PTSD as a result of an inherited vulnerability rather than direct trauma.
Research has shown that secure mother-child attachment is key for childhood development (Meins, Bureau, & Fernyhough, 2018). A recent study shows that “good-enough” parenting is adequate for a child to develop a secure attachment to its mother. What this means is that perfect parenting is not required for the child to grow up securely attached, a state that is associated with the best outcomes for mental health (Lehigh University, 2019).
The research has two sides. On one, the research shows us that we do not require perfect parenting and a stress-free environment to be secure and healthy. The flip side of this research is that some children will inherit trauma even with a gentle upbringing. In these cases, a child can inherit symptoms of trauma, including nightmares and anxiety, even without being exposed to trauma.
Can Epigenetic Changes Lead to Positive Outcomes?
While the news that trauma can be passed down despite good parenting may sound disheartening, epigenetics also creates changes in a positive way as well. When we have good nutrition and are raised in a nurturing and loving environment, over generations, epigenetic changes can also occur for the better. Researchers investigating epigenetics in animal models have found that rat pups with mothers who lick and groom them often are more likely to grow up to be calm, while pups who are not groomed frequently by their mothers may grow up to be anxious (Kirkpatrick, 2017).
What we know from epigenetic research as it relates to the intergenerational transmission of trauma is that we can have at least some influence on our children’s ability to be calm and resilient to stress. By providing a loving and nurturing environment for them, we can diminish the intensity of inherited trauma. Each succeeding generation can whittle away at the effects of trauma through consistent nurturing and loving parenting. Trauma does not have to continue from one generation to the next.
References:
- Dupont, C., Armant, D. R., & Brenner, C. A. (2009). Epigenetics: Definition, mechanisms and clinical perspective. Seminars in Reproductive Medicine, 27(5), 351-357. doi: 10.1055/s-0029-1237423
- Kellermann, N. P. (2013). Epigenetic transmission of Holocaust trauma: Can nightmares be inherited?. The Israel Journal of Psychiatry and Related Sciences, 50(1), 33-39. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24029109
- Kirkpatrick, B. (2017, December 12). Cuddling can leave positive epigenetic traces on your baby’s DNA. Retrieved from https://www.whatisepigenetics.com/cuddling-can-leave-positive-epigenetic-traces-babys-dna
- Lehigh University. (2019, May 8). ‘Good enough’ parenting is good enough, study finds. ScienceDaily. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/05/190508134511.htm
- Meins, E., Bureau, J. F., & Fernyhough, C. (2018). Mother–child attachment from infancy to the preschool years: Predicting security and stability. Child Development, 89(3), 1,022-1,038. doi: 10.1111/cdev.12778