As part of our new GoodTherapy Member Spotlight series, we’re excited to introduce Samantha Mirarchi, director and founder of Wild Sage Therapy. This series highlights therapists who are eager to offer insight into the therapy experience and share valuable perspectives on how to make mental health care more approachable and authentic.
In this interview, Samantha offers practical advice and essential tips on starting therapy for the first time, choosing the right mental health professional, and why authenticity and trust are at the heart of effective therapeutic relationships.
Watch the conversation with Samantha
Q&A with Samantha Mirarchi
Q: What would you want someone who’s never been to therapy before to know about starting therapy or attending the first session?
Samantha:
It doesn’t have to be as scary as it sounds. In terms of choosing a therapist, the vibe has to be right. That’s the best indication of therapy success. Take advantage of phone consultations or video consultations, just to feel out the connection that you have with that person.
It doesn’t have to be super scary or overwhelming. The first session is usually just the therapist getting to know you, gathering information so that they can best support you. There’s no pressure to share everything all at once.
Q: If someone feels like something’s off but they can’t quite put their finger on it, how can therapy help them find clarity and direction?
Samantha:
That’s such a big deterrent for starting therapy for a lot of people, because it’s like “maybe my problem’s not big enough,†or “because I can’t articulate exactly what’s wrong, how is somebody going to help me?â€
Having the space to just talk through and explore what that looks like for you can help bring clarity into what’s off, and so that you can actually create some goals and work towards that in therapy. But that is, honestly, a normal starting point for a lot of people: just that feeling of something’s not right. Therapy can really help: the beginning phases of [therapy] can really help open that up more to get you back to feeling like yourself.
Q: Why is it important for people to find therapists who truly “get†them, whether that’s about background, identity, or something else?
Samantha:
You need to be picky with choosing your therapist. [This means] reflecting on what is important to you, whether that be a therapist’s lived experience or, again, their specialty, and their ability to help you.
Therapists tailor their education and experience to certain areas, and it’s important to find a really good fit that way. The foundation of that is essentially based on trust. That’s going to impact your therapeutic result over time. Trust in the relationship is the number one indicator for success in therapy. It’s important to just find a therapist who has the education and experience to support you with the challenge that you’re facing.
Q: If you had to explain your therapy approach in one sentence, what would you say makes your work with clients unique?
Samantha:
I really value authenticity in my approach. Going back to the therapeutic relationship, I think that authenticity helps me really connect with clients, and it should make the therapy experience feel a lot more comfortable. That’s really important when it comes to therapeutic work and therapeutic growth.
Q: From your experience, what’s a sign that a client and therapist are a good fit?
Samantha:
You want to check in with yourself and ask: how comfortable do I feel talking to this person? I’d say that’s the number one assessor for fit.
Obviously, this is a new person you’re not going to feel 100% comfortable right off the bat, but there should be a little bit of ease there when it comes to starting a new therapeutic relationship. And then in terms of fit, again, look at their specialties, their background, their experience supporting other people who’ve struggled with the same challenges that you’ve faced.
Driving Growth With Authenticity
Starting therapy can feel overwhelming, but it can help you work through challenges, create a safe space for real connection, and set goals for growth with a professional. Finding the right therapist might require some work and evaluation, but the benefits of working with someone who truly gets you are worth the effort.
To find an experienced, licensed therapist through GoodTherapy, explore our catalog of therapists by location, specialty, and more.
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If you’re a GoodTherapy member and are interested in participating in our Member Spotlight series, please reach out to editor@goodtherapy.org
Dear GoodTherapy.org,
I grew up in a dysfunctional family. I know every family is a little dysfunctional, but my parents were a special case. They were always trying to catch each other cheating. Back before cell phones were a thing, Dad would sneak down into the basement and listen on our house’s landline. Mom would hide a camera in Dad’s office. It was like a bad spy movie.
As an only child, getting caught up in their spy war was inevitable. When I started doing normal teen stuff like sneaking a boy into my room, my parents would magically “know,†even if they were fast asleep at the time. They would parrot back private stuff I said to my friends over the phone, then laugh when I freaked out. After years of gaslighting, I seriously thought I was losing my mind.
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I know now that my parents were the messed-up ones, not me. But I still have all the habits I learned as a kid. I don’t talk about anything that could be used against me. I have a phone, but I’m leery about using it unless it’s an emergency.
I know this kind of paranoia isn’t healthy. I want to change. Coworkers and friends have told me to see a therapist, but telling somebody my darkest secrets sounds like my worst nightmare. The only reason I’m emailing you is because I know this is anonymous (and because I’m using my throwaway email).
I know deep down that most therapists would not blackmail me. But when I think about contacting one, I freak out and start thinking, “What if this is a bad one? What if they have hidden cameras in their office?â€
Trust isn’t a switch I can just turn on. I have barely any faith in my own memory some days, much less in a person I don’t know. Is there a way I can get help without throwing myself into a panic attack? —Cautiously Pessimistic
Dear Cautious,
I am so deeply appreciative that you took the risk to write in with this question and share so much of yourself. Even with the anonymity and “throwaway email,†I imagine sharing the details of your life is quite unsettling for you.
Human beings are remarkably adaptable. When children grow up in unhealthy environments, they typically adapt to those environments by developing various ways of being. These include behaviors, emotional regulation, communication styles, and relational approaches. While these ways of being help children survive the unhealthy environments they’re in, they become problematic outside of said environment. As children move on to adolescence and eventually adulthood, these ways of being either lead them to find other unhealthy environments or they find that in healthier environments, their ways of being create discord.
It sounds like this is where you find yourself now. You learned not to trust, not to share, and to be cautious about what, where, and how you communicated. The good news is it sounds like you have found some healthier environments; you mention friends and coworkers who care enough about you to suggest getting help. Unfortunately, I imagine you are finding that the ways of being you developed as child are now getting in the way. Therapy is, of course, an excellent forum for dealing with this. But because not trusting and not sharing were central to your adaptation, it is terrifying to think about trusting a therapist enough to share your “darkest secrets.â€
Give yourself some time to develop a sense of trust in your therapist before you disclose anything that feels too private. Also, as you move through the process, don’t be afraid to continue talking about any feeling you might have around trust between you and your therapist.
The question then becomes, how can you engage in the therapeutic process when trust is so difficult? First, I would suggest you look around at local therapists’ profiles and websites. Read a little about them and see if there are some you feel drawn to. Ask some of the friends and coworkers who have suggested therapy to you if they know of any therapists they would feel confident recommending. Once you gather a list of potential therapists, call them and spend a few minutes speaking to each. Then you can schedule appointments with a few you feel comfortable with and from those initial sessions decide who you’d like to work with.
Once you select a therapist, rather than diving right into the meat of the work, take some time to allow the therapeutic relationship to be established. You raise the question of how you can “get help without throwing (yourself) into a panic attack.†Perhaps you could begin your work by talking about the anxiety you feel about starting therapy and the fears you have about trusting a therapist. Maybe you could even work on learning some techniques to help you manage your anxiety. Give yourself some time to develop a sense of trust in your therapist before you disclose anything that feels too private. Also, as you move through the process, don’t be afraid to continue talking about any feeling you might have around trust between you and your therapist.
Finally, I just want to say that I applaud you for pushing beyond your comfort zone to consider getting help. Understandably, you have some deep-seated trust issues. And while that makes the process of seeking out and engaging in therapy challenging, it will be well worth it if you walk away from the process with a sense of healing and the ability to enrich your life with strong, trusting relationships. You deserve that.
Best wishes,